you really want me dead? listen to this. i was in my bedroom. the lighting was dim and all i could think about were my exfriends. ryan, cass, mackenzie, bri… the ones who used me, abused me, mocked me, talked me. the ones who now call me a cracker, a mistake. an omen. i had made up my mind: today was the day. the last day. of my life.
i walked into the bathroom and pushed my long blonde hair behind my ear as a tear streamed down my cheek and hit the tiled floor beneath me. i reached for a bottle of pills that could kill me. and that was when i saw her. in the mirror, as soon as i looked up, there stood my darling little sister june with tears in her eyes.
"tasha?" she asked quietly. "what’s wrong? what’s the problem, sis?" i broke down. i told her everything. she hugged me and i told her i didn’t want to live on. suddenly, she scratched me. i looked up. she shook her head, horrified. "you’re one of the strongest people i know, tasha. you have such potential left in you. you’re smart, beautiful, witty, and our family is also taking a cruise this spring break because we can afford it."
i stared back into her eyes. her cheeks never looked so tender. i asked softly, “juniper (her name is june but i like to call her juniper), one day, we are going to grow old together and look back on this and just laugh.” she bit her soft peach lips. “i won’t laugh. you tried to kill yourself, sis. how is that funny?” she placed her hand on my newly painted vermillion nails and i gasped.
she was right, i could have almost died. she continued…”i almost just lost the most important person in my life…and the world almost just lost a gem.” “but june, people hate me.” she said, “what is hate if not misdirected love?” she’s 7. that is the story of how i am not racist and how, because of people like you, i almost tried to kill myself. but i will stay strong and burn brighter than the biggest flame. i am a warrior and i’m not stopping until justice is conquered.