Somewhere in Georgia, a girl wears her tender
like a bear trap. She calls love a four-letter word—
the way it tears and eats, but
she dips her fingers in it, anyway:
just waiting for all that soft
to break her neck.
A thousand miles away from her, I am melting
my heart into gold, so that it will be worth something
when I give it to her. I pick out every
flinch and fear that kept me
from doing this sooner.
I am ready for her.
I am ready.
Come August, that girl will be in Texas:
in my city, in my apartment, in my bed,
(in my arms).
But August feels like a lifetime from here—
all that summer sprawled out between us
instead of highways.
Every night, I tally up all the times a day
I wanted to kiss that mouth (that mouth, that mouth),
and I make a promise that, in two months,
If someone would’ve told me that my body would look like this today, two months ago. I never would have believed them. I was never overweight. I was never obese. I was never on the verge of getting any diet based disease… But what I was, was unhappy. I’ve had so many people say to me “why are you eating so healthy?! You’re already skinny!” And right there lies the problem of our country. SKINNY AND HEALTHY DONT ALWAYS GO HAND IN HAND. Sure, I was “skinny” but could I run a mile without being winded? Hell no. Could I squat the bar? Nope. Could I hold a one min plank? No way. Now, I am getting healthy. I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I’m more active. I’m feeling better. So if you’re one of the girls out there who are being discouraged from losing weight because “you’re already skinny” just smile and say “because I’m not trying to be skinny, I’m trying to be healthy.”
TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT TWO MONTHS LEFT
you make two months
seem like two years.
the time spent with you
has been the best i’ve ever had.
a couple years from now,
we’ll have that jeep,
riding down a lonely highway
with your hair spiraling through the wind.
and we’ll obviously have that penthouse
overlooking a gorgeous lake
and kids skipping down the banks.
we have come so far,
and we have so much farther.
The thing that nobody tells you about breakups is that getting over one is a million times worse than getting over a crush. Because instead of fake fantasies of having them cheer you up when you’re sad and buying you flowers, it really happened. And memories are like stubborn mules that make it their life mission to make sure you stay in pain.
You are two months old today! In keeping with tradition - I literally can’t even believe that you have been here for two months already, but I sure am glad that you are. The past month, you have been a complete and total dream baby. You don’t ask for much, and being that your big brother is a lot to handle these days, I am really grateful to you for that. You sleep for the entire night from 10:30 PM until 4:30 or 5:30 AM. I can’t even believe that you sleep so well, and every time I tell someone just how well rested we all are, I think that I certainly have jinxed us, yet, you still continue to sleep each night. You are also a champion eater, and have put on some serious weight, if I had to guess, I would say you are about 13-14 lbs. right now (to be confirmed by your pediatrician this thursday - will update). You continue to flirt with everyone you meet and are very charming to all of us, including your big brother. He loves having you here so much, and likes to hold you and play with you every single day. I am so happy about this, and cannot wait to watch you guys grow and be the greatest friends.
You are still the smiliest baby of all time, and this month you have really started smiling in response to our voices, and have the ability to get whatever you want with a simple smile. I am worried that I might lose my battle against eating you if you keep up your adorable ways ;). This month has really been wonderful, and I still can’t believe we get to have two of the most good-natured babies possible. I feel like we hit the lottery twice now, thanks to you :)