TIPS-FOR-THE-WALK-OF-SHAME

I will never hit my partner. 

I will never belittle my partner.

I will never call my partner hurtful names. 

I will never blame my partner for my own failings. 

I will never invade my partner’s privacy. 

I will never ridicule my partner. 

I will never body-shame my partner. 

I will never seek to isolate my partner from friends and family. 

I will never attempt to control my partner. 

I will never steal from my partner. 

I will never blackmail my partner. 

I will never threaten my partner. 

I will be kind, respectful and supportive. I will admit my shortcomings, apologize for my mistakes and always strive to improve in the future. And when things aren’t working, I will do my best to know when to walk away. 

anonymous asked:

Do you have any advice on getting ready for a first tattoo?

SHOWER. don’t wear any offensively strong cologne/perfume, wear deodorant if applicable because you will sweat and your artist will be all up in your business sniffing that sweet sweet BO and skip applying any lotions/creams to the area you plan on getting tattooed.

do not come to the tattoo shop with a whole crowd of people. your entire family does not have to attend your first tattoo. most artist consider a room full of people distracting and annoying.

having a conversation with your artist is totally fine and can actually help with the nervousness and to pass the time, but don’t be super loud, rude, or obnoxious the entire session. a tattoo shop is often seen as a relaxed place and not really seen as “professional” or whatever but treat your artist with some respect and behave accordingly.

do not stick your phone all up in your artist face trying to get that rad Instagram photo. ask your artist if it’s acceptable to film/photograph them before you start your session.

don’t wear anything you don’t want the possibility of ink dropping onto it accidentally (basically don’t wear a brand new white shirt if you’re getting an arm tattoo cause you might walk out with some ink on it.)

it’s gonna hurt so if you’re not prepared to go hours upon hours in pain for a larger tattoo, break that shit into smaller sessions there is no shame in it.

treat your artist and the shop with basic respect. do not try to haggle with the price or try to down talk their work value. don’t try to trade goods for their service either.

tip your artist. TIP THEM. unless you have a horrible experience tip them fairly.

listen to any advice your artist has for healing your tattoo. don’t skip out on taking care of your tattoo, it’s an open wound and should be treated as such unless you want a poorly healed piece of work or/and an infection.

Just some basic courtesy suggestions I could think of off the top of my head. Hope that helps!

*any one can feel free to add more if they want*

blue night radio ♡ 140205
translation: bluenight0524

(opening message) jonghyun: have you, by any chance, heard of (in english) white noise? a white noise? the sounds that are familiar to our ears. for example: the sound of rain, the sound of waves, the sound of the wind. i mean, these kind of sounds. this white noise, of course …, a noise is a noise, but because it’s adequately noisy, it’s psychologically comfortable and gives stability. it’s adequately noisy but provides comfort. somehow …, it’s similar to the image i’d had of blue night. not too noisy, but not too quiet. like that, the turning on of the radio would become like knowing that you’ll fall asleep soon. adequately noisy: the more you listen it gets comfortable and, before you know it, it becomes familiar. the 4th of february, between today and tomorrow, this is blue night.

[…]

(closing message) jonghyun: yeah. it’s the second day. it was a bit exciting and i think it was a second day where time went by much faster than yesterday! like i introduced on the aside corner (*): i should walk and walk towards you, everyone, right? slowly getting closer. although this road that me and blue night’s family are taking together may seem like it has a lot of branches to it, i think, eventually, it’s one single road. you may feel exhausted and could fall down too. you could also wander along the road. however, like blue night’s shining star, if you could hold onto me and give me strength i think i can be able to reach everyone in our family in one single roundabout way. yeah. a lot of people have been wondering about what the closing mnet would be. however, i still haven’t decided on it yet. i thought it’d be good to not think of it impatiently but to do it slowly …, that’s why i’m still worrying about it. to be honest, i slept yesterday at around 6 or 7am. i couldn’t sleep ‘til that late, thinking about the closing mnet. i will worry about it a bit more and slowly introduce it to you, everyone. we will listen to today’s ending song (now): michael learns to rock’s “blue night”. until now, this has been blue night, jonghyun. 

(translator’s note: (*) the aside corner was a short corner right before the closing message at the start of jonghyun’s stint as dj where he introduced a poem each day. the poem for this day was blue night by ra hee duk. the translation can be found below:

the numerous paths that i was mad to walk
in to not go to you,
were actually going towards you.

even when i walked in the distant dark road
at night alone,
the stars that flew at my head
would have shined above your head.
at my sighing and my breath,
the flowers would have leaned to you and flattered.

from love to shame,
again from shame to love,
the bucket’s that tipped against you
several times in a day.

however, the thing that always rose
was tens of thousnads of path
branchings.
the galaxy’s one star going to another star,
those tens of thousnads paths, i’m walking
in them.

my life was going around all shortcuts,
a one roundabout way that was only going
to you.)

fast food and five dollar wine

Written as part of the Clexa Valentine exchange as a gift for  @dreamersdeservebetter.

Summary: Both single on Valentine’s Day, best friends Clarke and Lexa decide to be each other’s date as part of a joke that stops being funny when they wake up next to each other the following morning.

Read on AO3.


It turns out to be impossible to find a table in a restaurant on Valentine’s Day without booking.

It turns out that it doesn’t even matter.


“If only all first dates were as cheap as you.”

The look that Clarke receives in response to her teasing comment is a smouldering glare, accompanied by a single fry that soars through the air and collides with the side of Clarke’s face. On any other occasion, Clarke would grow pale at the thought of having food thrown at her face on a first date, but this is not a typical first date in more ways than one.

The most glaringly obvious difference is that Clarke’s date for the evening is Lexa, who is completely off-limits even if Clarke was interested in ruining the best-friend-slash-roommate thing that they’ve had going for the last couple of years. This is not the usual first date full of nerves and painful smalltalk, this is two incredibly single best friends who have decided to be each other’s date for the evening in a reminder that you don’t need to have a significant other to have fun on Valentine’s Day.

Keep reading

feels just like the first time (frank castle)

Originally posted by gradytraviis

(omg this got so long but what can i say……i am a sucker for that sweet, sappy frank castle. i always headcanoned him as kinda mushy and soft, and when he gets a crush one someone, it’s sooooo sugary-sweet. he can’t stop himself. he’s a big lover!! i love him so much oh my god.)

(warnings: food, swearing, an excess of fluffiness and sweetness)

(part one here, but not super necessary for context! it’s just frank on a date with the girl that caught his eye :’D)


The second she arrives, Frank jumps to his feet, carnations held in a deathgrip by his side. His face flickers between his attempt at stoicism and a smile, because, God, she looks so pretty.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

The us&uf brothers react to living next to the type of next-door neighbor who throw parties late at night on the surface?

US!Sans: 

-He goes over there the next day and very kindly and politely knocks on their door. Then he asks them to please not play the music so loud, and maybe now let their parties get out of hand. He needs his sleep, and he doesn’t appreciate the loud noises disrupting him. 

-Now either two things happen. They either tell him they’re sorry and that they’ll try harder not to let the parties get out of hand, or they flip him off and tell him to crawl back to the cave he came from. 

-If they go with option two, they can prepare for hell. Blue may be a polite and adorable little cinnamon bun, but he is in no way stupid or naive. And he does not let people walk all over him when he’s asked them to do something nicely, especially when it’s a very reasonable request. 

-So he’ll ask them again, making sure to include the consequences they’ll have to face if they don’t keep their music more quiet. He could get them evicted, or he could call the cops because they both know they were smoking some nonlegal things in there yesterday. And wouldn’t it be a shame if someone called in an anonymous tip to the police about all these underage drinkers. 

-They just close the door in his face, but they do keep the music down after that. 

US!Papyrus:

-He goes there while they’re partying, but then he sorta gets stuck at the party. He can’t sleep most nights, especially not with any kind of music disrupting him. And well, might as well enjoy a sleepless night at a party than alone in his room watching TV shows. And he’s sociable, so he gets along fine with everyone. 

-He does ask them to maybe keep future parties a little quieter, for his brother’s and other tenants sake. He wont be able to sleep anyway, with even the faintest of party music carrying through.  

UF!Sans:

-He storms over, throws the door open and tells them to shut the fuck up with their music or they’ll never be able to hear it again. Then he goes back to his apartment and goes to sleep. 

-If they don’t keep it down the next time they throw a party, he teleports in to the middle of it. Then he scares them using his magic. He puts on a show, eye flashing and pulling Blasters from the void. They’re never going to throw a party again in their lives when he’s done with them.  

UF!Papyrus:

-Listen, Papyrus needs his sleep. And if there’s something keeping him from getting it he might actually kill it. He doesn’t go that far the first time they throw a party though. Instead he stomps over and knocks on their door so hard it might crack. Then he yells at them to keep it down, along with some cleverly phrased threats and tasteful profanities. 

-Next time it happens, though. He might actually send a bone through their door, that’s sure to shut them up. And they could try and sue him. One look at him when he’s truly angry will have them running. 

-May the party gods help them if they throw another party. This time he doesn’t even get out of his bed, he just sends bones flying anyway. He knows where they are so he wont actually hit them (though he really wants to) but they’re not using that stereo ever again, that’s for sure. 

flickr

Look, it’s Spring ! by Regina
Via Flickr:
I ran into this cute and fluffy fellow on a pasture near the place where I live when I enjoyed the lovely Spring weather during a walk over the fields. He is a newbie on this pasture which he shares with other donkeys and a herd of Scottish Highland cows. It’s a shame that I cut the tip of his ears off but he was very curious and came too close for my 50 mm lens. I couldn’t move much as I was lying under the electric fence. There isn’t much I won’t do for a good angle … :)

Bad Habits, Bad Mistake || L.H

shhh, it doesnt suck, ilysm ayla 

I M A G I N E

“Light it already,” you urged, shivering in place outside of the dim bar. The Maori boy beside you nodded slightly, his lips quivering from the chilly weather as his thumb rubbed against the fuel lever to bring a spark from the lighter. Allowing the fire to dance onto the cigarette, Calum takes a hit and blows out the smoke. 

“Fucking hell, it’s cold tonight,” Calum complains, offering you the cigarette as you took it graciously. Placing the device of murder between your lips, you inhale it’s smokey poison and let out a deep breath. You nod quietly, rolling the cigarette between your index finger and middle finger.

You and Calum watch as drunk couples slur in love on the sidewalk and excited drivers rush passed the headlights. The wind played a song with the trees and anything it could move with its strong force. Calum’s humming joined the mixture as you felt smoke burn your throat lightly from another hit. 

“Fuck, this is gross,” you mutter, your eyes falling down to see the gum-strained concrete. As disgusted you could be, smoking was an addiction for you. It’s something you hated with a passion, but needed it like it was a medication. It’s a fight you’ve lost ages ago and didn’t mind the defeat. “Let’s make this quick so Luke doesn’t–”

“Y/N! Calum!” Speak of the devil, you thought, as you mumbled a curse under your breath. You dropped the cigarette to the ground and hid it under your foot, hoping Luke didn’t get to close to you and smelled its disgusting scent on you. You and Calum turned to the club entrance to find a barely wasted Luke Hemmings. 

“Hey, Luke,” Calum greeted before harshly coughing into his hands. You sigh, giving Luke a wide smile as he approached the two of you. You tried backing up without Luke really noticing, but Luke looked at you skeptically every time you did. 

“It’s cold out here, you guys,” Luke began as he got close to you. With nowhere else to back up to, you were stuck being fairly close to Luke. Which, you never minded of course, considering he was your boyfriend. But you didn’t want him to catch a whiff of your scent. “Come inside, baby, you look freezing,” Luke said quietly, his blue eyes looking worried. 

“I’m alright,” you responded, your voice surprisingly raspy to Luke. Coughing to get rid of it, you look back up to see Luke with more worry in his eyes. His arms begin to wrap around your waist, causing your heart to race from nerves. His face began leaning into yours, having goosebumps rise on your arms as you felt his breath trickle upon your cheeks. Expecting his lips, you close your eyes and wait for him to find out, but to your surprise, his lips wasn’t on yours. Opening your eyes once more, you look down to see Luke’s nose close to your mouth and taking a few sniffs. 

“Y/N, have you been smoking?” Luke asks in shock, having you turn pale as he looks you in the eyes. As much as your head was creating excuses, your heart didn’t want to lie to the boy you loved so much. The truth is painful, but lying to Luke would pain you more than anything. You nod lightly, having a bad feeling surge through Luke’s body as you did. “Did Calum put you up to this?”

“I’ve been a smoker for a while, Luke,” you say quietly, refusing to meet his gaze as you nervously twiddled with your thumbs. As much as you didn’t want to tell Luke the truth, you didn’t want Calum to be the blame for your addiction. Luke then snaps his head towards Calum, having him raise his arms in defense. 

“You’ve known she’s a smoker then?” Luke asks in disbelief. “D’you let her smoke with you, and help her keep this secret from me? Your best friend and her boyfriend?”

“She… mate, she asked me to,” Calum said shyly. You sigh, receiving his apologetic stare as he spills the truth to Luke. “She knew you’d be upset and we didn’t want to upset you so…” 

“So you keep the secret that my girlfriend, the girl that means the world to me, as an addict?” Luke asks, his heart swelling from saying that. Calum’s coffee eyes dimmed in shame as he walked back into the club. Leaving you and Luke alone, you let out a shaky sigh and shove your hands in your pockets. 

“But hey… it’s a metaphor, see,” you attempted to lighten the mood, removing your foot from the cigarette and gesturing for Luke to see. But Luke merely looked as his eyes glossed with tears. Pinching the tip of his chiseled nose, he shakes his head and looks into your eyes with intensity. 

“Except you’re giving it the power to do its killing,” Luke said before turning around and re-entering the club with no more words. Little did you know that this seemingly small occurrence would severely affect your relationship with Luke. 


Since Luke had caught you, he has refused to talk to you. Not a single word would escape his lips to even acknowledge you. The silent treatment was rather obnoxious and painful, especially when it even affected what the two of you did physically. 

You’d prepare food for the both of you, and you guys would eat in silence. Getting into bed, Luke wouldn’t give you a nightly kiss. He doesn’t even bother to bid you farewell before he goes off to the studio to work. No calls, no texts. You could be getting killed and crying through the phone, and he’d probably still keep his mouth closed. 

But it was hurting you to the point where you felt like you guys weren’t dating at all. As if the two of you were close as strangers. One morning, you were snuggled on the couch in your pajamas, waiting for Luke to come downstairs to get ready to go to the studio. He goes down and toward the front door, filling up his pockets with his necessities at the door near the front. As he opened the door, you called out to him. 

“Have a good day at work!” You called out right as he slams the door shut. Silence again taunted you, having your heart feeling a pang of pain as you grabbed a nearby pillow and held it close to your chest. Squeezing it, you couldn’t help but break after all the emotion you’ve kept inside. Tears run down your cheeks as your little makeup soils the pillow. But you couldn’t care as the boy you loved was practically ignoring you. 

Night comes, and your face was still bloated and tear-stained from your crying session. You hadn’t eaten since breakfast as you weren’t in the mood for it. The house was dark as you refused to turn any lights on. You were still glued onto the couch as you didn’t even want to move. In fact, you wanted nothing more but to rot on that couch until you felt nothing.  

Because, in your new reality, there is nothing.

Wiping away the last bit of your tears, you rise from the couch and trot morbidly to your shared bedroom. Luke’s aroma dwells in the room, taunting you as you opened the closet to take out a duffel bag and mere clothing. Sweaters and a series of underwear were squished into the small bag. Picking it up weakly, you drag yourself outside of the room and go back down the stairs. Near the front door was where you had left the pairs of shoes before entering and lounging around the rest of the house. Slipping on some slightly ripped vans, you begin to open the door. But as you went to walk out, Luke Robert Hemmings was standing right in front with keys in his hand. 

Still, no words. 

“Excuse me,” you say quietly, flushing from being so close to the man you loved so much. But, Luke hadn’t budged as his ocean eyes began to scan you and then the duffel bag, You were a mess, surely, with pink, puffy eyes and messy hair. But he looked at the bag and squinted, raising one eyebrow in curiosity. “I said excuse–”

Suddenly, Luke wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly, feeling your heart stop from the sudden motion. He sits his chin upon your head as his fingers grab your shirt from the back. He lets out a shaky sigh, one that acknowledges that he went too far. 

“I’m sorry,” Luke croaked, declaring the end of his silent treatment and your misery. With a small smile, you close your eyes, drop the bag, and wrap your arms around your boyfriend. 

Look, I get it. Studying sucks. We all hate studying with a passion.

I’ve been watching a bunch of BTS (Not the kpop band, but back to school) videos with “study hacks” but they’re all the same. ESPECIALLY with the gum method. Now, I don’t know about you, but I have this fear of gum at school. It kinda stemmed in middle school where if you were caught chewing gum, the teacher would call you out IN THE MIDDLE OF A LESSON and you had to do the walk to shame to the trashcan and spit it out. Me, being a middle schooler filled with anxiety, hated it. So I just got in the habit of not eating gum at school.

So, here are my tips on how to study and in essence, survive school for fun.

I never really studied that much in high school—but I did study smart, which helped with my grades.

I guess I should give you my credentials to you guys to let you guys know that it did in fact work for me. So, I want to let you know that I went to a (broke as can be) college prepatory high school (Which is a whole lot harder than a normal public school) and for my freshman year of high school, a Christian school (Anyone that has gone to religion school knows they don’t joke when it comes to studying. I used to do 30 math problems a night, along with English assignments, Biology assignments, ext, EVERY NIGHT.) I took as many AP classes as I could my Junior and Senior year, and during my upperclassman year, I managed a 4.0 (Don’t talk about my underclassmen year, I was a terrible underclassmen)

Anyways, so, here are my tips on how to study:

In Class Notes

1. Use your doodles for your advantage

I discovered this idea as while my US history teacher was showing us political cartoons.

As an artist, I understand pictures better than words. Also, as an artist, I would sometimes (Okay, all the time) doodle in class simply because doodling is just more fun then just sitting there, listening to the teacher. I also know that everyone doodles in class. So, here’s an idea: Draw something that’ll help you remember what you’re studying.

I would use this, so here are some examples

Teddy Roosevelt holding a bat

Big Stick Diplomacy. See how Teddy Roosevelt is looking intimidatingly at you? Well, the big stick diplomacy was the US’s international plan to keep peace—as while showing everyone their navy power. In essence, imagine you’re on a playground as a kid, then there’s this little kid with a bat. Now, he may not hit you with a bat, but he’s going to show off his bat just to tell you, “Hey, if you piss me off or do something stupid, I have a bat that I can attack you. But that’s only when you do something stupid.”

USSR and USA singing, “Anything you can do I can do better”

Cold War Era. During that time, the USSR and the USA tried to beat each other in “Who can make the most nukes?” Scary? Yes. But it makes sense with the song that I really don’t have to explain that much.

Voltaire being a badass.

Voltaire may be a dick, but he was an advocate of freedom of expression. I don’t particularly remember what else he did, other than he was an advocate of freedom of expression—but hey, it just shows you how helpful this was for me because I still remember this about Voltaire to this day.

a.) Another alternative if you don’t art, is to have something to remember it by.

Such as, for me, when I had to remember the Sympathetic Nervous system, I would think about being eaten by a bear. Why? Because if I were to say, see someone be eaten by a bear, I would feel rather sympathetic to them because they’re dead. Sympathetic I say? Sympathetic! Because their sympathetic nervous system would had kicked in before they got killed and eaten by a bear.

b.)   Puns
speaking of stupid and tiny things that would help someone remember things, puns also work. Such as, “What started the Protestant revolution? Martin Luther nailed it” (Get it? Because Luther nailed the 99 grievances to the church door? Ha)

2.) So what? Why the heck should I care?

This mainly works for history, but you should always question history—mainly the part as to why the heck should you care about what happened in the past. Not only that, but this helps on tests. I haven’t had a history class that was all dates since…Well, since middle school I suppose. But here are some examples:

Why was the US Congress disagreeing on Woodrow Wilson’s 14 points detrimental? Because the world blamed everything on Germany, and if we would have accepted Woodrow Wilson’s 14 points, it probably wouldn’t happen.

Why was the shooting of Archduke Ferdinad so important? Well, believe it or not, but there was a completely different world before WW1. I don’t remember much, but if you’ve taken European history, you would understand. The world would not be the world as it is today if it wasn’t for WW1. The “Church” would have probably still been in charge (although, losing power).

Just always ask yourself, “So what? Why should I give a damn?”

3.) Don’t highlight everything

A lot of youtubers tell you to highlight everything. I, on the other hand, am going to tell you TO NOT DO THAT BECAUSE THAT IS A VERY BAD IDEA!

Have you ever highlighted something, and before you realize it, you’ve practically highlighted the entire page—therefore making that effort of highlighting so pointless? Yes? Have you ever read something and then stop yourself as you realize that you read it, but didn’t retain any of it? Yes?

Here’s my tip. Read everything first on your notes before you highlight things.

a.) What should I highlight?

i.              Definitions. Most of the time, teachers are just trying to see if you know said thing

ii.             “Keywords” which are mainly the things that are bolded in the book

iii.            That thing your teacher won’t shut up about and keeps on mentioning over and over again

4.) Using a book? Use tabs and sticky notes!

If you were anything like me, then you never use the highlighter to highlight your book because you don’t want to pay $100 for a damaged book that probably has a dick drawing (IN PEN, URGH) from the person who had it before you did.

So instead, use tabs and sticky notes to put in your book.

That way, you won’t have that, “HOLY CRAP, I SAW THAT DEFINITION A SECOND A GO, WHERE DID IT GOOOO????” moment.

5.) Pencil and eraser

Again with the book, another alternative is circle said word with a pencil, and erase it later with an eraser.

Quick tip: Use a white erasers, because pink erasers suck and will probably ruin the page and ink. White erasers are smoother, and won’t damage the book compared to a pink eraser.

6.) Study groups

Study groups are something I wish I would had done in high school. In high school, I was the overachiever so I took a bunch of AP classes. That being said, I also suffered alone.

When I went to university, I somehow managed to jump into a study group, and it was the best thing ever. Why? Because we were all suffering together. Whenever someone needed help on something, another person would chip in and tell them what they could do and give them advice.

You’re not suffering alone, which is absolutely WONDERFUL!

I think in high school, I only had one study group, and that was (sadly) right before the AP euro exam. Seriously, while we were doing some last minute studying for the test, we all said the same thing. “We should have done this earlier. URGH.”

Honestly, you make better lasting friendships that way. Plus, what parent wouldn’t say yes when you ask, “Mom, I’m going to my study group at the Library/at Starbucks to study”?

Oh, and just FYI, don’t do a study group at a restaurant. Just don’t do it, unless it’s between the hours of 1-5 PM. And if you do, you better tip your waiter/waitress real well. As in, it better be more than a 20% tip. Just, just don’t do study groups at a restaurant. Just don’t do that.

WHAT DO I DO IF I DIDN’T STUDY UNTIL LAST MINUTE?

First of all, don’t do that again.

Secondly, https://www.youtube.com/user/crashcourse

Crash Course helped me in so many ways, mainly because I’ve had crappy teachers who didn’t know how to teach. But it’s also great because you can watch it way before a test while, let’s say, eating in front of your computer. It’s great repetition, and it’s just a blessing.

Nesta’s Rage

I WROTE SMUT! LORD SAVE ME THERE IS NO GOING BACK NOW!

So this is my first time ever writing smut. >//////<

It is 3am and I have not reread this, so I apologise if it doesn’t flow very well  or if there are mistakes, but I really wanted to do something for Nessian smut week! So I picked Day 3, Angry!sex, because come on!

I will probably reread tomorrow and edit, but I just wanted to post this now before I lost my nerve!

Enjoy

Keep reading

block b as things ive actually said irl
  • taeil: "also pls don't judge me for wearing the exact same outfit i wore yesterday"
  • jaehyo: "i somehow ended up scrolling through a food network blog for an hour"
  • b-bomb: "anything can be a kink if you just believe"
  • kyung: "how's he get these hot girls to lower their standards to date him just wondering i need some tips"
  • u-kwon: "now, let's talk about this kink so i can shame it"
  • zico: "i wanted to kiss someone at the party but everyone was old and poor"
  • p.o: "im really good at walking into stores and pretending im not super drunk"
The Joker x Reader x Harvey Dent - “One Of Us”

It’s common knowledge that Harvey Dent and The Joker don’t get along. After the horrible thing that happened  to you, it really took a lot out of them to join forces and help you. 

“What happened to you while we were in there?”

Your fingers stop on the laptop’s keyboard.

“You don’t get to ask me that, J ” you reply, frowning. He won’t give up:

“What happened to you while we were in there, hmm?”

“I said you don’t get to ask that!!!” you get up from your chair so fast you knock it down.

“Are the rumors true?” He’s so persistent it makes you restless.

“You can’t ask that…”you gulp, taking a step back from the desk.

“ARE.THE.RUMORS.TRUE? “ The Joker snarls, tapping the marble floor with his purple cane after each emphasized word, not breaking eye contact with you. “We would really like to know!”

You feel on the verge of crying, fighting hard to keep the tears back:

“Who’s…we?” you sniffle, trying to pull yourself together.

“Me and Harvey. For once we agree on something.”

**********************

You are looking through the restaurant’s menu even if you already know what you want.

“Hi, Princess,” you hear the familiar voice and you lift your eyes up to meet The Joker’s blue gaze.

“Hello,” you smile, surprised to see him. “What are you doing here?”

“I have a business meeting,” he grins. “Why are you here?”

“I’m waiting for Harvey, he wanted to have dinner with me,” you happily answer and it instantly pisses him off. “Here, take a sit by me, he’s not here yet,” you offer, moving over to make space.

That cunning, sneaky bastard, J thinks, already not in a good mood, but accepts your invitation nevertheless.

“I told you to stop working for Dent, just work for me,” he starts his rant and it kind of amuses you to hear him talk like that again. “He’s so annoying, I can’t stand him! Quit working for him, I can pay you double.”

“You already are, Mister J,” you remind him. “I am a freelance hacker, I work for both…and others, you know that.” You involuntarily touch your colorful butterfly necklace tattooed around your neck; you always do that when you’re distracted.

“Stop calling me Mister, it makes me feel old. I don’t want you going on dates with Dent, do you hear me?” he points his finger at you, scooting over even more so that your thighs are touching. “He’s what, 7 years older than you, pushing 42? He’s gonna die first, I’m 3 years younger than you so I will be around for a longer time.”

“W-what?” you ask, already laughing.     The stuff that comes out of his mouth. “You’re so childish sometimes!”

“No, I’m not!” he grunts, “I’m just stating the facts, Doll. Why don’t you ever want to go on a date with me?”

You sigh and completely turn around to face him, tilting your head so you can savor his reaction better:

“Because you never asked,” you bluntly proclaim, fully aware it’s the truth. The best part is that The Joker thinks he did ask you out.  He’s so complex and complicated. He believes you’re wrong and opens his mouth to start talking when:

“Butterfly!” Harvey addresses you and you are fast to get up and meet him.

J will forever be irritated he wasn’t the first to come up with that pretty nickname for you when it’s so damn obvious.

Dent kisses your hand and you giggle, glad to see him:

“Oh, Harvey, always such a gentleman,” you gush and you can’t help but hear a low growl coming from The Joker and since you like to play around, you just reach and kiss Dent on his scarred cheek.

“And now our date is perfect, Butterfly“ he brags, kissing your hand again with that flirtatious smirk J would love to wipe out with some more acid. “Oh, hello Mister Joker,” Harvey finally pretends to notice the third wheel at the table.

“Dent, “ the very short acknowledgment comes.

“What a nice surprise. Are you going to join me and my date for dinner?”

“Boys, be nice please,” you admonish both, feeling sorry you pushed it a bit on purpose.

J cracks his shoulders and gets up.

“I have a meeting to attend. Princess… Harvey,” he barks the latest name instead of goodbye, slowly walking away with murder on his mind.

***You didn’t really have time to enjoy your dinner because the SWAT team raided the place one hour later on a tip from an anonymous source. You, Harvey, the Joker and many others got caught. Such a shame this happened: the restaurant was the underworld’s elite favorite place. ***

They didn’t even bother to send you to Arkham, you all ended up at Belle Reve. They hope you will never get out of there; it will sure be very hard to find you, the place is off the grid. Well, it certainly makes Arkham seem like a walk in the park. So many guards; they kind of have rules and kind of don’t, one never knows what to expect and definitely not boring.

The Joker and Harvey got cells with glass walls across from each other. Of course it was done on purpose to antagonize them since their famous rivalry is now seen as a weakness to be exploited. You are not close to them, about 25 cells up the corridor and only get a glimpse of your two main employers when you pass by on your way to the so called therapy or interrogation.

A couple of months passed by and that night came. The security guards woke you up in the middle of the night and dragged you out of your cell. You had such a bad feeling about it you wouldn’t stop struggling, not even when they kept on hitting you. Two Face was awake when you walked by and after you desperately fought your way out from your captors for a few seconds, you ran to his cell. You placed your palms against the glass and he put his on top of yours on the other side.

“Harvey! Harvey!!!” you screamed before they covered your mouth and yanked you away.

“Hey, what are you doing? Where are you taking her?” he repeatedly punched the glass, waiting for the answer that never came.

You were so feisty they really had to use brute force to calm you down. They slammed you against the Joker’s glass wall so hard you almost passed out. He was dozing off and got startled when he heard the loud bang.

“What the hell?! Can’t even sleep around here,” he muttered rubbing his eyes and lifted his head from the mattress. “Hey, Y/N!” he jumped up when he noticed what the commotion is all about. “What are you guys doing?”

None of the wardens bothered to say anything as they hauled you away and the two of them stayed up for hours waiting to see when they will bring you back. It finally happened but it didn’t make them less worried: one of the guards was carrying you back on his shoulder as you lay there, unconscious, your long hair almost reaching the back of his knees.

After that night, Harvey and the Joker didn’t really see you pass by that often but when it happened, you didn’t look at them anymore. You always stared at the floor with a blank expression on your face.

“Butterfly!” Dent would try to call out to you.

“Princess!” J would hiss with no luck.

You didn’t even hear them nor care at that point.

Two months later you marched by their prison cells again.They were awake and they saw you finally looking at both of them with such sorrow in your eyes they knew something was out of place. It made them feel so helpless knowing they are not in control and for the first time since the incarceration they spoke to each other:

“Dent, I think something is very wrong,” The Joker broke the silence, growling at his adversary.

“I know, Mister J, it sure seems that way,” Harvey huffed, playing with his coin.

“Where the fuck are our men?! We need to get out of this shit hole.”

“I’m sure they are working on finding us, this place is well hidden,” Two Face replied, turning his back to show J that’s all he was willing to say for the moment.
He was right but it took another 3 months for their men to find Belle Reve and bust you out. In the meantime you weren’t seen at all and they didn’t like it. Were you transferred somewhere else? Were you moved to a different wing? Were you taking another route to get to your therapy or interviews? There was no way to find out.

When all the hell broke loose, Harvey wanted to rush and try to find you but The Joker offered to do that instead; they somehow managed to get along for that. Somebody trustworthy needed to go to the control room, open all the cells and let everybody out. Might as well create more chaos in the accursed place.

J ran up the hallway as fast as he could; he had a vague idea where you might be if you were still around that is. The henchmen were shooting left and right, blowing things up; there was smoke all over and the smell of gunpowder made The Joker feel alive for the first time in months.

When he finally found you, you were sitting in the corner of your cell, your eyes almost closed, not hearing the loud noises.

“Come on, Y/N, let’s go!” J signaled, waiting and when you didn’t move he stepped inside to see you better because he couldn’t with all that intoxicating mist around. “Hey, come on let’s move it before things really get out of hand! Jesus, Doll,” he muttered when he realized the state you were in.

You were so heavily sedated and out of it you didn’t recognize him at first:

“…A-are you an angel?…” you stuttered, barely being able to utter the words.

“Yes, I am!” he was fast to answer, reaching his hands for you and lifting you up in his arms. “What did they do to you, Princess?” he whispered in your ear and your blurry mind finally realized who the green haired man was.

“J…J…” that’s all you were able to mumble on and on and wrapped your arms around his neck so tight he had to struggle to breathe. But he didn’t complain and carried you out, squeezing you harder in his arms as he felt you uncontrollably shivering. Harvey caught up with you two and was stunned when he saw how bad you looked. Before exiting the building he rushed into the last cell he saw and grabbed a blanket, tucking you in while J stopped in his tracks so Harvey can do it properly. Then The Joker dashed out of the prison, heading towards the helicopter waiting for you three, firmly holding you while Harvey grabbed your hand and kissed it, walking behind.

“A-always such… a gentleman,” you struggled to say, lifting your head a bit from J’s shoulder so you can watch Dent for a few seconds. He just sadly smiled, feeling his heart sinking even more.

And for the first time ever Mister J didn’t have a fit hearing you mutter such words.

****************************

They decided you shouldn’t be alone so they didn’t drop you off at your hideout. Harvey wanted you at his mansion and J at his penthouse. The Joker won the argument because Dent had to go out of town for two weeks with business and that would have defeated the purpose of you not being left alone.

You didn’t really talk much so J talked for the both of you. My God, you had no idea he can’t shut up. He went on and on forever until you gradually started responding more just to make him take a break.

When you felt asleep you had such bad nightmares he had to come in your bedroom and wake you up so you would stop screaming. The only thing that would soothe you was when J would get in bed by you and traced the butterflies in your neck tattoo with his fingers until you went back to sleep.  He wanted to leave but couldn’t because your fists were so tightly clenched to his shirt he wasn’t able to move without waking you up again. And it sure seemed you needed the rest.

He was always catching himself wanting you so badly but didn’t have the heart to force you; you would have probably been such easy prey in the condition you were in. His rotten self never did that to anybody and he wasn’t going to start with you. Probably the only bad thing he never did before.

One day when he came back to the penthouse after a heist he found you on the couch, tattooing yourself again. It always calms you down, at least it gives you the impression that you are in control.

The Joker looked at your new butterfly tattoos going up in a twirl on your left arm and the one you were just finishing on your wrist and was very pleased to see what it was.

“Here, “ you showed him after the last touch: it was the same J you tattooed on his face awhile back, next to a star.

“Ahhhh, I like it, Doll” he grinned, holding your wrist in the palm of his hand. “What’s with the star?”

You blinked faster, suddenly recalling your ordeal.

“When you came for me at Belle Reve and you got me out, I was so high on medications I thought you were an angel. Angels come from above, right? The skies and stars? So that’s why a star…” you whispered, gulping, averting your eyes, a bit embarrassed but you really wanted him to know.

He was really at a loss of words for once; his troubled mind couldn’t process such a disarming answer. The Joker didn’t have a smartass come back and you took it as a bad sign:

“…And…ummmm…I was thinking to tattoo Harvey’s coin with his initials on my right wrist,” you broke the awkward silence, “because you two really saved me.”

“Don’t !” the Joker objected and kissed the raw skin with his initial. “I don’t want to see anything reminding me of him on you, got it?”

His piercing blue eyes were so fierce while saying that you couldn’t do anything else but nod in agreement.

“Good, now I want that star on your wrist tattooed on my face, on the other cheek, right here,” he pointed out the spot and you were thrilled to oblige. “People need to know I’m an angel,” he smirked, taking a sit by you.

You carefully started your work and the only thing he could recon was that someone thought of him that way, even for a moment, and nobody could ever take it away.

One night right after that he was out at one of his clubs and you were in the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge when he stormed in, followed by a girl and you froze.

“I’m not here!” you quickly blurred out, walking by the two of them. “You guys have your fun, I’ll go in my room and listen to music, or I can go out for once, it’s been a while,” you kept on nervously yapping, feeling out of place and in the way.

“She’s not here for that,” J rolled his eyes and snapped at the girl:

“Get the hell out! NOW!”

You stopped and watched her stumble to the elevator, trying to get out as soon as possible because she knew better than not to obey.

“She wasn’t here for that,” he repeated, stomping towards you and you instinctively backed out, surprised at his reaction. The Joker furiously lifted you up and pinned you against the wall, aggravated:

“You want me to be your Daddy, hmm?” Out of the blue he kissed you and it was so intense it made you light headed. You found yourself kissing him back, moaning, as he pushed himself into you even more.

“Answer me! You want me to be your Daddy?” he managed to ask in between kisses and that word suddenly hit you and he didn’t realized you started crying until he took the time to look up. “What? What did I say?” You started crying harder and hugged him so tight he almost choked.

“What’s wrong, Doll?” he kept on asking as you sobbed in a frenzy, hiding your face in his neck.

That’s when he decided he will find out what happened to you.
It took all he got to call Harvey:

“Dent, it’s me, I need help with something.”

Harvey sighed, not in the mood.

“It’s not for me, you jerk, it’s for HER,” J continued, noticing Two Face didn’t want to talk to him.

“I’m listening,” Harvey harshly replied, tapping his fingers on his desk.

**************************

You open the door and there he is.

“Oh, hi J, Harvey’s not here, I’m house sitting for him,” you smile, moving a bit so he can come in.

“I know he’s not here,” J scoffs, his eyes burning through you when he realizes you are wearing one of Dent’s dress shirts.

“Jeez, you’re so childish sometimes, I told you before,” you snicker. “He was gone before I got here, OK? I just like to wear his shirts when I house sit for him. He told me he likes it,” you tease but you should really shut it down.

“How come you never wear mine?” The Joker huffs, annoyed again.

“You never offered,” your reply is fast to come as you lift your shoulders up.

That smooth bastard, J thinks, taking a deep breath, trying to calm down. He’s not here to argue.

He follows you in the living room and you take a sit at the desk, continuing your work on the laptop.

“I’m hacking into Gotham’s police files; Harvey wants to know what Gordon is up to these days,” you brief him, typing faster and faster when he questions you:

“What happened to you while we were in there?”

***Which brings you to your current situation***

“Please stop asking,” you keep on taking steps back and your eyes get watery.

“You have to tell me, NOW!!!! I need the confirmation!!!” he raises his voice and you jump, startled, feeling you are going to break down soon:

“So if you need the confirmation it means that you already found out?”

He shakes his head, grinding his silver grill:

“We want to hear it from you.”

You start yelling:

“Why? What do you want to know, hmmm? Do you want to hear how they took me and raped me? How they got me pregnant and performed an abortion and how…” your voice cracks, “I didn’t have a say in any of it?… Is this what you want to hear?” You cover your face and you start bawling, heartbroken at the memories you were trying so hard to suppress.

J doesn’t say anything to you; he dials on his cellphone and just tells Harvey:

“Shit, it’s true… she confirmed. I’m bringing her over,” and he hangs up.

****************************

The Joker made you change your clothes and dragged you out to his car, driving you to the warehouse he owns outside Gotham. You finally stopped crying when he pushed you inside the huge chamber, noticing the 6 men in chains, tight up to the wall with Harvey standing by them. It seems they took quite a beating: gags in their mouths, bruises and blood all over them.

You open your mouth in awe, unable to utter a single word when you recognize the faces of the guys that raped you and the doctor that aborted your baby.

“What do you want to do with them, Butterfly?” Dent keeps on flipping his coin while J actually goes and stands by him, both watching your reaction.

“Is it them? Do we have the right ones?” The Joker inquires and you whisper a faint yes.

To their surprise, you crack a smile. They have no idea how relieved you are as you walk right in front of the men that did all those horrid things to you.

“You know, I always wondered which one of you was the lucky Daddy,” you smile wider, biting your lip.

What you just said immediately strikes a nerve with J. Dammit, that’s why you were so flustered that night when he asked you the stupid question. He just didn’t know…

“Do you remember what you said to me while you were raping me?”

Some muffled talk, can’t really make up what they try to say but you sure don’t care so you continue:

Try to think at the green haired freak, you’ll enjoy it more. And now try to think of that scared jerk, I know you dig him, whore. Just take turns thinking of them and it will feel like the real thing since you screwed both anyway.”

“Jesus Christ,” Harvey wipes his forehead, disgusted and The Joker scrunches his face in a painful grimace.

“I am not a whore, you assholes,” you continue to forcefully smile, “and I don’t sleep around, not that you fucking need to know since you’ll be dead shortly.”

“Do you want to end them yourself, Princess?” J intervenes because he can’t stand looking at them anymore and hands you over his purple pistol.

“Oh, no, they don’t deserve to be killed by me, I don’t even care how they die anymore.” You take a few deep breaths and start walking away towards the exit.  Dent signals the henchmen to finish off the job and you certainly are delighted when you hear the gun shots.

You get outside and Harvey catches up with you, placing his jacket around your shoulders. The Joker quickens his pace and in a few moments he’s walking besides you also. You keep on taking small steps, feeling so safe in between the two of them and you really need to say it:

“Thank you…I mean it,” you whisper, grateful they helped you out. You certainly realize it wasn’t easy since they can’t stand each other.

“Nobody does that to one of us and gets away with it, Doll,” The Joker grabs your hand, squeezing it.

“U-humm,” Dent agrees, starting to play with his coin again. “Now Butterfly, please decide who your favorite is: I’m the head and he’s the tails. Let me know when to flip this.”

“Shut up, Harvey!” you elbow him, actually laughing softly after you were so tense.

“You’re such a dick ,“ The Joker rolls his eyes, pulling you towards him, pleased that little trick made you happy.

Also read- MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

how to survive waiting in line at concerts: a guide

so i’ve had a lot of people ask me what to do while you wait in line at shows so i made a big ol post about it! all this applies no matter if you get there an hour early or six hours early or 12+ hours early. this is leaning more towards a longer wait tho so use your discretion. also this is such a long post so its under a cut! thank you to anyone who gave their suggestions!!! 

Keep reading

            SHE  has nothing in particular to say for much of the walk back to their dorm — not out loud, and definitely not until she could trust her voice to stay steady if she tried. She doesn’t really need to say anything, though, because she  knew  they all felt the same way. It felt shameful now that she and Alex had admittedly begun to have quite a bit of fun during their objectives — treating it like a ‘stakeout’ in the movies, assigning people code names. How could it possibly have been so easy for  one  anonymous blogger ( because who  ELSE  would have called in that tip ?? ) to foil each facet of their plan in one fell swoop ?  Were they careless, or… Just plain  outmatched 

            Ann can already feel her nose running — ugh, embarrassing — and it left her no choice but to allow herself to sniffle and wipe at her eyes. Even as she succumbed to her vulnerability, however, her body language showed sheer resolve. Even as her voice trembled, just as she feared, her fists were clenched tight and her lips were drawn into a stubborn pout — and as she stares at her cohorts, the glimmer of  determination  in her eyes was unmistakable.

                    ❝   … We… We’re  NOT  letting this happen again.   ❞       

Surf n Turf


Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5a
Part 5b

Summary: you’re heart was on the brink of breaking, having been stood up for an important date at a fancy restaurant. When you were just about to take the walk of shame, a dashing knight showed up and he instantly turned your night around.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Keep reading

1) finish crooked kingdom 2) yell to @niniadepapa and @harkrs about it 3) write this

The first time she comes back, it’s with salt in her hair, her feet carried by the waves with each step she takes. Her hand brushes against the hard brick wall of a pub, dust sticking to her fingers even as she rubs them – the dust clings to her skin and the smell clings to her hair. This, maybe, is something she didn’t miss, the foul odour of alcohol, sweat, blood, and other things she doesn’t want to think about. After months at sea, salty air in her lungs, Ketterdam’s decaying perfume almost makes her cough around a gag.

But she is home, and she smiles.

Hiding beneath the shadows comes easy to her, the way it always does. Her feet recognize every rock on the ground, every brick and alcove and roof as she climbs her way to the city’s highest points. She perches herself on top of the highest finger of the Church of Barter, if only so she can admire the city – the harbours full of life, people coming and going in the Financial District, even the high silos she climbed, a lifetime ago. Her lips curve up, hair dancing in front of her face, before she decides that she has business to attend to.

Keep reading

2

Indulgence (Camilla x M!Corrin)


A submission by anonymous. Corrin is referred to as Kamui here.


The dragon prince was incredibly tired, his eyes; swollen and red. Repeatedly running his hand through his bed hair again and again, frustrated at himself. If Kamui was ever graced with slumber, it was because the devil wished it. His dreams would be of his mother, impaled by his Yato while the bodies of his siblings lay beneath her in a heap of blood and guts. His nightmares went from tolerable to him becoming an insomniac within weeks.

“Bath,” Kamui mumbles to himself. He drags his bare feet out of bed and reaches for a shirt to put on. Once dressed, he opens he door to his tree house and meets with the cold breeze of night.


“Hello Milord!” Felicia, face red from the heat of the spring, walks out of the double doors of the bathhouse. She gives a polite bow. “U-Um, are you heading in?”

“Ah, hello. Yeah, I was thinking about it.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

The painted veil!! Cherik it!

Alright, I’ve never seen The Painted Veil, so I’m afraid this is based entirely on the plot summary from Wikipedia and TVTropes! The story starts in Shanghai in 1925; Charles is a British doctor bringing Western medicine to China. I’ve also made it a bit of an A/O ‘verse because I think that helps preserve Erik’s difficulties and motivations as Charles’s “bride.” (Also the ending is a bit different from the movie because I’m a sap.)

-

In retrospect, it seemed absurd to Charles that he could have believed Erik actually loved him.

Erik had very much wanted Charles to believe it, of course. He’d put in an effort—but Charles knew he hadn’t been hard to convince. At the time, it seemed both amazing and completely natural that the omega he felt such an intense and immediate connection to would feel the same way about him. They were destined, meant to be, a fairytale come true.

Charles believed that, ridiculously enough. Believed it with his whole soul, right up until the moment he walked into their home an hour early—and found Erik in bed with another alpha.

Keep reading