THREE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN ONE PHOTO CAN THIS GET ANY BETTER I THINK NOT

From the Other Side of the Signing Table

“I don’t know what to say to you,” the girl said. “Um, thanks, I guess.”

“Thanks is good,” I replied.

Silence stretched, punctuated only by the scuffle of a Sharpie on a page.

We were in the same boat, the girl and I — both at a book festival, both at the end of a long day full of people, both in a signing line that had been going on for an hour already. There was only one big difference between us: she was on one side of the table, and I was on the other. Sometimes that difference seems to matter more than others.

Before I was published, I read a lot of accounts of what it was like to have your work out there, but I never read anything about what it was like to have yourself out there. I suppose I never really thought about it, to tell you the truth. I thought you wrote a book and hopefully people liked it and if I thought about book tours at all, I figured they involved standing on a stage for a bit before disappearing into a rental car. The truth, however, is that now — ten years and fifteen novels in to my career — most of my hours in front of people are spent in a signing line. Forty minutes on a stage or behind a table for a panel, and then two or three hours meeting a few hundred strangers. I had no idea what it would be like.

This is what it’s like.


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anonymous asked:

dark rc would you please consider writing about how victor (and the rest of the Russian skate team) had a feud with the Russian hockey team bc of their constant flirting and attentions towards yuuri (who was completely oblivious at the war waging for his heart)??

This has been sitting in my inbox for over a month and I apologize for that, nonny! I wanted to try my hand at breaking through this writer’s block and this prompt was ripe for the taking. It’s not my best work by any stretch, but it’s something at least! I hope you enjoy.

+

There are few things that give Yuri pleasure—the taste of accomplishment like cinnamon sugar on the back of his tongue after landing a quad; having a comeback so cutting that he practically draws blood; that soft murrf a cat makes when it decides it trusts him; the little green screenshot arrow appearing next to Otabek’s name in Snapchat—but they all pale in comparison to whenever the Russian hockey team visits the rink.

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Grounding

WHAT IS GROUNDING?

Grounding is a set of simple strategies to  detach from emotional pain for example (cravings, self harm urges, emotional eating behaviour etc.) Grounding can also be a way of returning your attention to the outside world and away from yourself. In the case of dissociation.

WHY PRACTICE GROUNDING TECHNIQUES?

When you are overwhelmed with emotional pain, you need a way to detach so that you can gain control over your feelings and stay safe. As long as you are grounding, you are more likely to be able to overcome urges. Grounding ‘anchors’ you to reality.

Many people with PTSD and dissociative disorders struggle with either feeling too much (overwhelming emotions and memories) or too little (numbing and dissociation). In grounding, you attain balance between the two—conscious of reality and ability to tolerate it.

GUIDELINES:

§ Grounding can be done any time, anywhere and no one has to know.

·       §  Use grounding when you are: faced with a trigger, having a flashback or dissociating.

·       §  Keep your eyes open, look around the room, and make sure the light is good to stay in touch with the present.

·       §  Rate your mood before and after to test whether it worked. Before grounding, rate your level of

·       §  emotional pain, or your level of dissociation. Then re-rate it afterwards. Has it gone down?

·       Try not to make judgements or think negatively. The idea is to distract from the negatives.

·       §  Stay neutral—no judgments of good or bad.

·       §  Focus on the present, not the past or future.

·       §  Grounding is much more active than relaxation exercises and focuses your attention.

Grounding is deemed to be a better way of coping with PTSD and dissociative disorders than relaxation practice. As during relaxation the focus is too much within the body, which at the worst may bring on flashbacks.

WAYS TO GROUND

MENTAL GROUNDING

o    Describe to yourself in detail your surroundings: For example “The walls are white, there are three pink chairs and a blue sofa. There is a picture of a brown border collie on the wall with a gold frame around it.” You can do this out loud if appropriate, or in your head if you are in public.

o    Play a game like “Scattergories” in your head or with a friend or family member. Choose a letter of the alphabet and try and come up with as many examples of a category you choose as you can. For example C … Boys names: Christopher, Curtis, Carl, Charles etc.

o    Do an age progression. IThis can be particularly useful if you have dissociated or regressed to a younger alter or state. For example in my experiences I have an alter who is three. So I might say… Now I am four, I am at home with Mummy and Daddy and I can do (an example of an age appropriate activity) alone. Work your way up until you are back to your current age. This may not always work for little alters, but can help.

o    Describe an everyday activity in great detail. For example if you like gardening “I open the shed door and pull out the lawn mower, I connect it to a power supply and climb on. I turn the key and put it into drive….”

o    Imagine. For example make up a nice little story in your head, or out loud. “I am putting some roller skates on, and I am slowly gliding away from all my emotional suffering down a beautiful smooth lane, having fun listening to my favourite music LOUD!”

o    Say a safety statement. ‘My name is _________; I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past. I am in _____________ the date is _____________.

·        Read something, saying each word to yourself. Or read each letter backwards so that you focus or the letters and not on the meaning of words.

·        Use humour: For example have a “Funny Memory Bank” where you store up your favourite witty moments for those detached, rainy days.  

·        Count to 100 or say the alphabet very slowly or very fast.

·        Repeat something meaningful to yourself, such as a prayer or quote. For example you could use the Serenity Prayer.

PHYSICAL GROUNDING

û Run cool or warm water over your hands.

û  Grab tightly onto your chair as hard as you can.

·       û  Touch various objects around you: a pen. keys, your clothing, the table, the walls. Pay close attention to colours, weights, textures etc.

·       û  Firmly stamp your feet on the floor, literally grounding yourself. Feel the tension of your feet against the pressure of the floor.

·       û  Carry a ground object in your pocket—a small object such as a rock, stone, crystal, bead, piece of string or cloth, or a stress ball that you can touch whenever you feel triggered.

·       û  Jump up and down.

·       û  Stretch reach upwards and pull yourself tall. Extend your arms, legs, fingers and toes.

·       û  Walk slowly, noticing each footstep.

·       û  Eat something yummy. Notice the flavours, textures and feelings that come up for you.

SOOTHING GROUNDING

·        Use Cheerleading statements, as if you were talking to a small child. For example “You are having a difficult time adjusting to these chanes, but you are doing so well. You should be proud of yourself.”

·        Think of favorites. Think of your favorite color, animal, season, food, time of day, TV show.

·        Picture people you care about. Even get a photobook made of positive pictures or pictures of people you love! Such a simple nice way to ground, and you can get A4 photo books at the moment from GroupOn for under £7!! (I in no way endorse them I just thought it was a good offer!)

·        Remember the words to an inspiring song, quotation or poem that you like or feel positively about. Maybe write out the words and decorate it for your wall.

·        Remember a safe place. Describe a place that you find very soothing it could be when you went on holiday to the beach, or walking in the woods. Or just a time you felt safe and peaceful at home in your living room or in bed.

·        Plan out a safe treat for yourself, such as a trip to a coffee shop with a friend, making a nice dinner or a bath with some nice toiletries or candles if you feel safe to use them

·        Think of things you are looking forward to in the next week. Perhaps schedule your time so you build some structure for chores and pleasurable activities. It can help to know what you are doing and also not just sit at home with nothing to do. This can cause difficulties.

WHAT IF GROUNDING DOESN’T WORK?

Practice as often as possible. Even when you don’t feel overwhelmed or dissociative. This way it will come more naturally to you when you are struggling.

Practice faster. Speeding up the pace gets you focused on the outside world quickly.
Try grounding for a Ioooong time 20 mins at least, and then repeat !!
Try to notice whether you do better with physical or mental or soothing grounding.

Create your own methods of grounding. Any method you make up may be worth much more than those you read here because it is yours.

Start grounding early in a negative mood cycle. Start when you begin to feel the early warning signs of dissociation or when you have just started having a flashback.

7/11/1804 (Alexander/Reader, Lin/Reader)

Summary: You had expected that your first night in the role of Eliza would be an exciting one. You hadn’t expected a door to appear in your dressing room that would lead you over 200 years into the past. No, none of your Broadway friends had ever warned you about that.

Note: Write-a-thon Day 3! This is loosely based on 11/22/63 by Stephen King, wherein the main character goes back in time to prevent JFK’s assassination. So you see where this is going. This is part 1 out of 2.

Rating: G

Word Count: 2651

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Go With The Flow - part 1

Pairing: Jared x Reader

Word Count: 2,436

Warnings: swearing

Betas: @quiddy-writes and @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid

Summary: At a con (VanCon 2013), you and Jared take the opportunity of the fact that both of you are single and more than ready to mingle.

A/N: I love Genevieve, Jared, and their marriage. This is not anti-Gen in any way.


“Y/N!”

You heard your name being called from just over your shoulder and turned, nearly smacking face-first into the massive cardboard wing of someone’s Castiel cosplay. The face five feet away seemed oddly familiar, and you recognized it as one of your Tumblr friends that you’d been planning to meet for several weeks. She was taller in person, and her long blonde hair hung neatly to the middle of her back.

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anonymous asked:

Hey, do you have any good Supercat fanvids/fanfics to recommend?


Oh how I have been waiting to answer this all day. You’re my new favorite person anon. Here you go.

Fanvids

► kara + cat | something I need

you’ve changed me | kara/cat

Kara & Cat | Skinny Love   (My go to)

kara/cat | right in front of me

Emma/Regina + Kara/Cat || Shelterd from the pain (Great parallel vid especially if you like both ships)

Where is the real me? // Emma/Regina + Kara/Cat

cat/kara - when it comes to us (supercatslam september “fall”)

Kara & Cat | What if {2x02}

kara + cat | romantic comedy trailer

cat/kara | a promise with a catch

Kara + Cat ; don’t come back for me

► kara + cat | safe in my arms

falling around you | kara/cat

Kara and Cat | make you stay.

kara + cat | shattered

Kara & Cat | Let Me Sign

Fanfic’s

All Or Nothing
Author: OfEndlessWonder
Plot: “She finally, finally, takes in the sight of the woman standing in-front of her and the rest of her furious words die in the back of her throat because oh, oh, no-one should look like that. Tall and blonde and so very gorgeous, barely in her mid-twenties with sparkling apologetic eyes, a pair of sinfully tight black jeans on her hips and a sleeveless t-shirt to show off the muscle in those arms that had caught Cat so quickly.” AKA the hot neighbour AU that no-one asked for or needed.

Lost and Found
Author: SuperTweety
Plot: Kara has been through a lot in her short life with the loss of her planet, the death of her parents and Astra, and the damage done to her relationship with Alex while she was under the influence of the Red Kryptonite. Will she ever feel at home and welcome on her adopted planet or will she forever feel lost and alone?

carter grant, super sleuth
Author: unicyclehippo
Plot: Carter Grant needs interviews with the three women he admires the most. His mother isn’t surprised to see her own name on the list, or Supergirls, but Kara Danvers? That one is a surprise.

Asking Too Much
Author: fictorium
Plot: Anonymous said to fictorium:
Cat needs a date to a party, she convinces Kara to go with her (“You’re my assistant, nobody will think anything of it”).

That’s how it began.

Only it’s not Kara who steps out on the red carpet, but Supergirl. As they continue with the public deception, chaos erupts around them: battles fought, lives lost, enemies old and new. Somewhere in there Kara and Cat have to deal with what happens when pretend feelings become all too real, along with the additional complications from Superman and both of the sisters Lane.

Ultimately, Kara has to find a way to make her ever-changing life workable. Can she do that while keeping Cat, her secret identity, and her family intact?

The Music and the Mirror
Author: fictorium
Plot: The Ballet AU.

Cat, former prima ballerina with the National City Ballet, is now the artistic director of a ballet company. Maxwell Lord, her former dancing partner, has found her a new dancer for the upcoming season: the untested Kara Danvers.

Can the two women forge a working relationship? Has Cat found someone up to her own pre-retirement standards at last? Whatever the outcome, it’s going to be a long, hard road to get there.

(Also soon to be an original story published over here.)

Out of the Ashes
Author: InspectorBoxer
Plot: The D.E.O. is destroyed in a vicious attack leaving the Danvers sisters shaken and the women they care for in danger.


Chasing Fog
Author: PinkRabbitPro
Plot: When a family emergency arises, Kara Wayne takes up the family mantle and spends her nights protecting Gotham City in the guise of Nightwing, while struggling to keep up with her day job teaching at a local prep school. Everything changes when she starts to fall for the mother of a favorite student and finds herself driven to protect them from the rising dangers of the city. Meanwhile, for Cat Kyle, returning to Gotham City after years away is a risk she’s prepared to take in hopes of giving her son a better life, but her attraction to Carter’s lovely, young teacher may be her undoing. After all, she’s Catwoman, the very thief Nightwing is hunting. What will both woman do as new enemies and old secrets threaten everything and everyone they love?

The Fight To Be Alive
Author: EnchantedApril
Plot: Kryptonians are all viewed as Fort Rozz criminals, with society accepting televised fights to the death as the new normal. While Kara remained hidden away, she was safe, but now she has been in the hands of LordTech’s Alpha Fighter program for almost two years.

For What Binds Us
Author: mermaiddrunk
Plot: It’s platonic. Just business. All pretend. Kara’s always been good at pretend. Why would dating Cat Grant be any different?

This Is What You Came For
Author: subcutaneous7
Plot: When the ultimate threat unleashes its fury on Earth, Supergirl discovers new powers and must begin to accept her true identity, along with the connection she shares with Cat.

Maybe National City Needs Another Superhero
Author: SupercityCarnival
Plot: When Cat is kidnapped and involved in an explosion, it has some interesting side effects on her.

Messages From Madrid
Author: SupercityCarnival
Plot: Cat has to travel to Spain to fix a CatCo mess. Kara deals with Cat being gone, but not without Cat helping her along.

Just a Friend
Author: supergirlfan
Plot: “Kara thought back to that moment on the balcony, when her whole world had shifted. The hug that changed everything. One hug, and she was addicted to Cat Grant’s touch… the feel of her hands on Kara’s back, the intoxicating mix of perfume and conditioner, the gentle but strong curves of her arms… In that moment, she’d acknowledged that her feelings for Cat extended way beyond professional boundaries.”
————-
Kara is struggling to cope with her emotions, overwhelmed by recent events and by the depth of her own feelings. She’s falling apart, and Cat is there to help… just as a friend. How long will it take the two women to admit what’s really happening between them? How will they handle the challenges facing their relationship?

Of Heroes Great and Small
Author: a_dot_burr_ell, captainjaybird
Plot: Cat and Kara are adjusting to their new dynamic after Kara’s promotion when an accident results in Cat getting psychic powers. The only mind she can’t read? Supergirl’s. How will this affect Cat and Kara’s growing relationship?

Knowing Our Strengths
Author: Adm_Hawthorne
Plot: Dragging in deep breaths and letting them out, Kara hesitantly released the other woman and wrapped her arms around herself. “I could so easily forget myself with you.”
Cat nodded. “I understand the feeling.”
========
After finally admitting their attraction to each other, Kara and Cat work toward finding a way to balance their lives without hurting each other or those around them. (This is a follow up piece to “Photos Can Lie.”)

Immunity
Author: SkinnyProcrastinator
Plot: Siobhan is the best assistant to ever assist and Kara is firmly in the doghouse. When an opportunity to accompany Cat on an overseas trip comes up, Kara takes it in the hope she can get their friendship back on track. Meanwhile Cat insists on using the trip as a way to further torture Kara. What will they uncover in the twilit Norwegian city of Tromsø and what happens when Kara’s powers start to fade.

Collared
Author: Rtarara
Plot: Kara Zor-El wanted nothing more than to fit in and help the people of earth. Unfortunately for her Aliens are reviled and seen as no more than wild animals to be killed or tamed. She was caught after years of hiding and sold as a pet to the “Queen of All Media” who isn’t quite what she expected.

You’ve Got the Healing That I Want
Author: K_AudreyLeto
Plot: When Cat called Kara and asked her to pretend to be her date she didn’t think about her feelings for the woman before she agreed. She also didn’t think that she would end up in over her head when Cat asked her to continue the charade the next day. Supercat fake dating/ also side Alex/Lucy.

Two Hearts, One Roof
Author: iblamethenubbins
Plot: Kara and Cat have been best friends since high school and now, after graduating from college, have decided to move in together. Domestic fluff and quiet longing ensue.


Written in the Stars
Author: InspectorBoxer
Plot: Kara and Cat hurtle towards the inevitable as a final showdown with the Joker looms…

When I Need You - When You Need Me
Author: EnchantedApril
Plot: When Kara is seriously injured in battle, Cat is forced to reveal their relationship in order to be near her. The fallout is pretty much what they expected…

Close Encounters
Author: sultrysweet
Plot: When Adam asks Kara to go away with him for the weekend, naturally she invites Cat to join them. While they’re away from their every day lives, they’re able to learn more about each other in a more relaxed environment. Except, things aren’t as relaxed as they seem when certain discoveries about themselves and each other are revealed.

True Power
Author: Where_is_my_10_15
Plot: When Supergirl confronts Cat while under the influence of Red Kryptonite, she doesn’t threaten her life. She breaks her heart. She challenges her with the fact that Cat is in love with her, and then flies away. Cat would rather have been thrown off of a building.


Another Night, Another Dream
Author: luvscience
Plot: Kara keeps dreaming about Cat…until she doesn’t

When In Rome
Author: oddcoupler222
Plot: “You… assigned me a fake headlining interview article and made me meet you in Rome. This whole elaborate scheme instead of just calling me.”

Saying it aloud made Kara laugh because even as she was incredulous, she also wasn’t. Of course Cat would do something like that.

//

It had been a couple of weeks since Cat Grant had kissed her and revealed that she knew about her secret identity; it was a lot to process. But sometimes even Supergirl isn’t fast enough for Cat Grant’s patience.

The lights are turned way down low
Author: Musetotheworld
Plot: Cat and Kara are at a mountaintop resort to interview one of Cat’s sources when a threatening storm hits early. With Kara’s powers blown and the roads blocked, their only option is to stay the night.

And feel free to check out mine.

When you need more feel free to come back for more.

A Well Documented Debacle

Prompt: ReaderxBones where Kirk gets his toe stuck in the faucet of the bathtub and calls the Reader to help him, because he’s too embarrassed to call someone else, but in the end they need to get Scotty to free him and when they bring him to the medbay to let Bones look at his toe, Bones gets jealous, but it ends in fluff?

A/N: For some reason those gifs of Karl Urban sticking microphones in his mouth kept popping during my search this time, which is not only probably quite unsanitary, but also very telling of this story and my journey writing it. 

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Clones bragging about their amazing S/O's (you !)

Rex:

+He’s really subtle about it.
-like he sneaks it into conversations.
- “if (y/n) was here, I bet she could help.”

+He thinks it’s funny when people use you to insult him.
-”I bet you fight like your girlfriend.” “As someone who has sparred with my girlfriend, I will take that as a compliment.”

+As a prank, his brothers painted you in a pinup style on a gunship.
-Rex wasn’t even mad, he just asked them to paint some more clothes on.
- “This is good. It’s just that (y/n)’s so much prettier.”

+Now if anyone asks about you, he’s not subtle at all. He could go on for days.
__________________

Fives:

+People don’t even have to ask him and he’ll just start talking about you.
-”*insert a 20 minute rant about how amazing you are.*” ~ Fives
- “That’s nice, but what even brought that on?” “That flower is her favorite color.”

+If given the chance, he doesn’t shut up about you.
-if you send him a new picture, the entire 501st will have seen it with in 20 minutes of him receiving it.
*”LOOK HOW GORGEOUS SHE IS ! ! !”
-When Tup doesn’t have anything to draw (one of my headcanons), he asks Fives for picture refs bc he know Fives has three million photos of you.

+It doesn’t matter if you can’t throw a punch, he still thinks you’re a badass.
-”Look at her go !!!” “Fives, you’re showing me a video of your girlfriend doing a crossword.”
____________

Wolffe:

+He’s kind of the same way as Rex, but a little more aggressive about it.
-*hears someone talking about somebody pretty* *casually walks by and ‘accidentally’ drops a photo of you* “Oops, sorry boys, have you by any chance ever seen my gorgeous girlfriend, (Y/N)?”
-Has definitely gotten into those competitions that guys have on who’s girlfriend is prettier.

+he can call you sexy. Anyone else who does it gets the The Wolffe Glare™.

+He uses you to intimidate the shinies.
-”My girlfriend has better aim!”
-”(Y/N) can punch three times harder than that, and she’s half your size!”

+But like he loves watching you actually fight / teaching you to fight.
-he brags about how good you are all the time.
-”they wouldn’t stand a chance against (Y/N)!” “Wolffe, that’s a commando droid and (Y/N) is an accountant.” “She’s a badass accountant.”

_____________ Requested by anon
An Open Letter to A7X

To Avenged Sevenfold:

Before I start this letter, let me just preface it with the fact that I have been having some hand/nerve issues and my writing may become disjointed because of that.

I first found out about y’all four—almost five—years ago. The reason I got into y’all is probably a little different than other fans. I’m an avid reader and one of the books I read said to understand the book better, the reader needed to look up the lyrics to “Dear God” by Avenged Sevenfold and then to listen to it. So, like a good reader, I did. I fell in love with that song and had to hear more from this band. (I thought y’all were country). The second song I heard was “Hail to the King” and the change in pace and tempo made me love the band even more. I bought that album (it had just come out) and started listening to all of your other songs. It took about six months for me to get through all the albums, but when I had, you had all awakened a part of me I didn’t know existed.

From my appreciation of your music, I started looking into other hard rock and heavy metal bands. Obviously, I knew who Metallica was, but I started digging into more of their stuff and even got into Judas Priest and Pantera, bands my parents hated and bands I thought I would never like.

When I got my resident assistant job, I was listening to “MIA” and that song became my lucky one. Unfortunately, some things in my life happened that might have torn down another person. It was y’all and other metal bands that helped me through.

You see, I’m a soon-to-be college graduate who has had a difficult six years, but the last two years of my life have been rougher than I ever expected them to be.

It all started in November 2015 when I got this terrible lower abdominal pain. I thought it was cramps or ovulation pain; the emergency room in Texas couldn’t find anything wrong with me. Flash forward to winter break, and I’ve had this pain for four weeks now. My wonderful mom got me into a surgeon, and I’d never been more nervous. I’d only had my wisdom teeth removed, so an actual surgery terrified me. They took me in and let me listen to a couple of songs (“Gunslinger” and “Strength of the World”) before I went under. It turned out I had two ruptured cysts and appendicitis. I easily could have gotten a terrible infection from either.

Time wears on, and I head back to my university (University of North Texas, go Mean Green!). I’m an athlete, have been for most of my life. I run/ran three times a week. My knee started to dislocate when I ran, but I could just pop it back in place. Eventually, it got to the point where running and even walking hurt too much. I waited until summer and returned home to see what the hell was wrong.

From all my years of soccer and running, and continuing to play soccer after a knee injury five years ago, I had torn the ligament that attaches my femur to my patella—the most rare knee surgery. A week before my knee surgery, my incredibly wonderful mother found out that my alcoholic father had stolen and gambled away $3,000 from their joint account. That same say, my father found out that his mother was dying. He flew out to San Antonio to deal with that situation. Mom started the process for divorce. Literally an hour before my knee surgery, I found out my grandmother had died.

When I woke up, I was in the worst pain of my life. My knee had to be immobile for four weeks before I could start physical therapy. I was up every four hours to take Percocet, which we later found out I’m allergic to. Having my leg (my dominate leg) taken away from me and not being able to do things for myself filled me with anger. A lot of what helped me through was y’all and bands similar to you. Post-knee surgery me was the worst, but your music helped me through.

Fast forward again, and I’m now back at school in my final year (Fall 2016) and my life was looking up. I found a publisher for my books, I would be turning 21 in November, and I’d get to see my favorite band with my best friend at Texas Mutiny.

Texas Mutiny was the most incredible concert of my life. I smuggled my DSLR camera in (don’t tell anyone) and captured some of the best photos of my life. That concert helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my photojournalism degree. And for my 21st birthday, my friends surprised me with a signed vinyl of The Stage and several of your CDs. It cheered me up because my birthday was on Election Day and very few people remembered it… which was understandable.

However, my life can’t always be sunshine and rainbows. Nine days before my birthday, I was rushed to the ER after puking up my guts. The ultrasound technician found five ovarian cysts. Three of them were the size of my uterus, and I needed immediate surgery. Because I’m a college student “immediate” meant my next time off. My Thanksgiving break was recovery and more of your music. My wonderful mom came down to Denton to help me through that surgery.

My 2016 winter break was spent writing and getting my older sister to listen to your songs. She really enjoys the white album and even some songs on The Stage. I also examined that album and just fell in love with basically every song. My cover for my book came in, and I got inspired to write a collection of short stories based on songs. My favorite bands are featured quite a bit… I hope that’s okay.

Now, I’m back at school again and my stomach pain comes back. Two months after surgery and the ovarian cysts were back. But something even worse happened at the end of January 2017. I’m a writer and a photographer who depends on her hands for work and stress relief.

At the end of January, my hands started to malfunction. They can’t fully flex of fist, they’re always cold, they get numb and tingling, my wrists and elbows hurt, and my joints are very stiff. My spring break was spent back in Reno getting tests done. They ruled out anything wrong with my central nervous system—thank god—but the pain still remains. And I was scared. I’m still scared actually. I have psoriatic arthritis and it’s incurable. Really the only things helping me are music, the Deathbat nation, my friends, and my mom. To make matters worse, my father had two heart attacks and two surgeries right before I came home. He only has maybe 2-5 years left. He’s an asshole, but I love him.

I know that was the longest intro ever, and y’all are probably wondering why I’m writing this at all at this point. My name is Carmen, and I’m a photojournalist (almost) and recently published author who just wants to thank you guys for everything you’ve done for me and the other fans. So here’s my long list of thank yous.

To all the guys: thank you for forming Avenged Sevenfold. Without you coming together, I wouldn’t have found a lot of my friends. Your music has gotten me through some of the most difficult situations in my life and your music has inspired my writing and made me a better person (the writing portion). There’s something about your music that just speaks to people and has made my life so much brighter. I can’t wait to see you and Metallica in June!

To Brooks: I know you haven’t been with the band long, but I’m glad you’re with them! I loved your drumming when you were with Tenacious D and Bad Religion. You definitely remind me of the dad friend out of all the guys, and I think it’s awesome to see what you add to the band. Your drumming on The Stage is also INSANE. I love what you did on “Angels.”

To Johnny Christ: I don’t think you’re a gnome for starters. You’re much taller than my short ass. All jokes aside, I love how you are on stage. You exude so much passion and energy; I wish I had gotten more photos at Texas Mutiny. You sing/shouting on “Nightmare” also adds a little depth to the song and never fails to put a smile on my face. Oh! Congrats on your son.

To Zacky V: I’m ambidextrous because I have to be from the hand issues, and I so rarely see left-handed musicians that every time I watch you play, it gives me hope. I’m not musically inclined at all, but knowing a lefty is out there brightens my day. You have such an awesome style and your skill with the guitar is out of this world. I hope we can get more solos from you.

To Synyster: dude, you are one of the best guitarists I’ve heard, excluding Santana. I could pick your style out so easily. The work you’ve done with A7X and Pinkly Smooth just blow me away. I can’t believe someone can have talent and skill like that. You are a guitar god, Mr. Haner.

To Shadows: as a writer, I most easily connect with words. Your lyrics speak to me on a spiritual level (which is probably why I have so many tatted on me). You have a way with words. And your voice is so unique and every time I hear “Dear God,” I remember why this band became my favorite. Just, thank you for doing what you do.

To the women of A7X (Val, Michelle, Lacey, Megan, etc.): thank you guys for being you. I hope you know how much love the Deathbat nation has for you. Without your support, the band probably wouldn’t be where they are (no offense guys).

To the fans: thank you guys! I have met so many amazing people through this band. Y’all have helped me through a lot, and I’ve met some good friends through it. Sevenfold has cultivated a fan base unlike any other, and I’d like to thank every Deathbat for who they are and for being so caring and for taking care of me.

So, I just want to say thank you from a fan who’s been through a lot and has made it through thanks, in part, to your music and the most supportive mother ever. The only thing I have to add is that my dream is to one day meet y’all and thank y’all in person. And this final part is going to sound so fucking cheesy, but I hope y’all sign my Deathbat and that the writer side of me gets to write your extended (not brief) biography.

Thanks again for all you have done.

Sincerely,

Carmen

Trish’s Photography

Trish and I got together in our senior year. We were young and dumb and found comfort in each other’s awkwardness. What started as the typical teen infatuation quickly grew into a strong, solid bond and suddenly being on the fringe of high school society wasn’t so bad. We rode out that last year together, planning for a shared future in some distant college where we could start over, make new friends, and shed the nerdy outcast label that had haunted us for too long.

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The First Date

You, Jesse and Hanzo go on your first date! Fic is PG-13. 

Link for AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10464945/chapters/23570373

Hanzo and Jesse have left it up to you to decide where you’d be going on your first date. Being a person who is no good at making decisions, this was more pressure than actually being asked out on the date itself. You are currently sitting at home in your own apartment watching your phone as the notifications go off one after the other. Being in a group chat with the two of them is a trip:


———————————-

Jesse: where

Jesse: do

Jesse: u

Jesse: wnana

Jesse: go!

Hanzo: Stop spamming.

Hanzo: Let her think, smh.

Jesse: im right here if u wanna fight me

You: IDK

You: I’m really down for whatever!

Hanzo: Where do you like to go during your free time?

You: My room?

Hanzo: -_-

Jesse: im calling u

————————————–

And he does, less than a couple of seconds after you had received that text. You stare at the screen with a shit-eating grin while it’s ringing, and let it go to voice mail.

—————————————

Jesse: answer ya damn phone plz

Hanzo: Don’t cuss at her.

Jesse: answer ya darn* phone plz

Jesse: also fuck u han

Hanzo: Hmmm. Interesting for a person who just asked me to make dinner.

You: Somebodys bout to starve!

You: Also sorry! I had lost my phone very suddenly :/  

——————————————

Your phone starts to ring again, and you wait until the last possible moment to answer it. You don’t even have to say a thing; Jesse just starts going off in your ear, “Hey, now listen! I’ma count teh’ three, and when I count teh’ three your’ gonna say the first place that comes to mind alright?”

You let out a long, dramatic, heavy sigh, making sure to blow air into the phone as much as possible.  

Jesse laughs, “Alright here we go! One! Two! Three-“

“Zoo.”

“Ah shit, Han! We goin’ to the zoo!”

“No, no, no wait! Let’s try that again!”

Jesse hangs up the phone.

———————————-

Jesse: no take backs  

Hanzo: I am excited! I’ve never been to the zoo!

You: We shouldn’t go to the zoo that was stupid

Jesse: nu uh! we going!

Hanzo: Why is it stupid? Now I really want to go!

Jesse: pick u up on friday!!! wear zoo clothes!!!!

You: WTF are zoo clothes

Hanzo: What she said.

Jesse: clothes u wear to the zoo???

Hanzo: Hmmm true.

You: Whatever! Fine! I guess we’re going to the zoo

Jesse: u bet ur ass

Jesse: shit

Jesse: butt*  

Hanzo: We’ll pick you up around 9am. Is that okay with you?

You: Pfff yeah.

Jesse: see ya friday!

—————  

Friday rolls around, and you guys go to the zoo. It’s the perfect day for it; the sun is out, and it’s partially cloudy. There’s a light cool breeze that feels amazing on the skin. After thinking about it, you’ve actually come around to the spontaneous idea that Jesse had to coax out of you. You guys take your time at each exhibit. The zoo isn’t very crowded at all, and nobody cares that you guys take nearly thirty minutes at each. Hanzo does dramatic readings of the facts on each of the placards, putting on what he likes to call his “tour guide voice”.

When you guys get to the Red Fox enclosure you and Jesse listen while Hanzo reads. At the end, Jesse raises his hand, “Um excuse me, Mr. Shimada? May I ask a question.”

“All questions are welcome, Mr. McCree.”

Jesse points to the cage, “Why are they called Red Foxes?”

You can see Hanzo try and suppress a laugh, and you try to suppress yours as well. Feigning like you, too, would like to know why Red Foxes are named Red Foxes. Hanzo is trying to remain in character, “Mr. McCree, if you can do me a favor and look at the animal?”

“Mhmm, yes.”  

“The fox has red fur.”

Jesse places his hand on his chin and nods his head up and down, “Uh huh.”

“So it is called the Red Fox because well; it has red fur.”

You can’t keep up the act anymore. Hanzo says that last line with such conviction and a matter of fact tone that you are doubled over, and clutching your stomach laughing. Jesse refuses to give up the act. He looks down at you, his cowboy hat casting a shadow over his face.

“Darlin’, what’s so funny? I don’t understand.”

Hanzo keeps it up as well, “Sir? The Red fox. Red is a color. The color of the foxes fur is red. Therefore, Red Fox.”  

You’re still doubled over wheezing. A small crowd has actually started to stare, thinking that Hanzo is an actual expert and tour guide. They believe that Hanzo, a man who is wearing unbelievably tight joggers and a navy blue tee shirt that says, “Choose Cremation. You Urned it,” is a god damn professional, articulately explaining to a cowboy why a Red Fox is called a Red fox. Jesse sees the curious onlookers and decides that maybe it’s time to end the charade, “Ah, I get it now, and ya’ know what? That’s a pretty dumb fuckin’ fact.”

Jesse throws an arm around your still shaking shoulders, tosses his other one around Hanzo’s, and you guys all walk away from the confused onlookers. Eventually, after marveling at the big cats for nearly an hour, you guys make it into the reptile house. Here is where you figure out that Jesse really doesn’t like spiders and that Hanzo couldn’t care less. You do care a little bit, but the thick plexiglass between you and the arachnids is enough to keep you from being irrational like Jesse is being.

“Can y’all stop puttin’ your faces so damn close to the glass?”

You smile coyly and rest your cheek against the glass, Hanzo follows suit and places his cheek against the glass as well, “Take a picture, Jesse.”

Jesse crosses his arms and pouts, “Y’all think your’ funny huh?”

You grab your phone out of your pocket and turn on the camera, “Guess we’ll just have to take a selfie.”

The spider that is in the little glass case is clinging to the other side, showing off its belly and legs. Perfect for the photo op. You and Hanzo point to it and smile nice and big for the camera, while you hold your phone in your other and snap a photo.

Hanzo says, “Make sure to send that to me in the group chat.”

Jesse is glaring at Hanzo, when you notice one of the workers is trying to get any of the customer to listen to what she has to say about whatever it is she is presenting, but she’s getting no takers. You walk towards her and look into the large, deep, open plexiglass tub that she is standing next to. Your eyes widen and you start to cackle. Oh, this is gonna be good!

“Hey Han! Jesse! Come here!”

You watch closely has they look into the glass enclosure. Hanzo now has the biggest smile, and Jesse takes one glance and literally runs off about twelve feet.

The workers face lights up, “Hello! Would you guys like to hear about this tarantula?”

The look that Hanzo gives her almost looks like he might abandon the two of you and take her out on a date; he is so happy.  

“I would absolutely love to hear about this tarantula!”

The woman practically dances, because she is delighted to finally have people who want to listen to her. She clasps her hands together and starts to spew off all of the knowledge she’s got on the spider. Hanzo listens and has questions for her, and she is able to answer everything. Meanwhile, Jesse is in the background huffing and making off-handed comments like, “Interesting” and “Wow, real fascinatin’.” When the spider starts to stretch its legs and move around, you lean in farther to get a better look.

“Hey! Sugar? Maybe don’t do that! That thing is gonna get your face.”

The tarantula handler finally turns her attention to Jesse, “Oh no! Honduran Curly Hairs are docile tarantulas. Also! Tarantulas can’t jump that far. A fall from where her face is at to the bottom would actually seriously hurt the curly.”

Jesse does his best at being polite, “Thanks for the knowledge ma’am.”

At this point, Hanzo is practically inside of the enclosure, and you’ve reached your limit. Any closer, and you’d be pushing your comfort zone. The woman clasps her hands together, “I am so sorry! I haven’t asked for your names yet!”

You both introduce yourselves and take turns shaking her hand, “Hanzo! Seeing as you seem to be the most interested, would you like to hold her?”  

Jesse claps his hands together, “Han! You put that spider in your hands, and we are breakin’ up!”  

Hanzo puts his hands together, palms up and lowers them into the enclosure; “It’s been nice knowing you, Jesse.”

Jesse is still squirming, but it seems this is something he just has to see. He gets just close enough to be able to look in. He’s standing right behind you, looking over your shoulder, and he’s got two nervous handfuls of the back of your shirt. You reach back and pat his thigh, “There, there. It’ll be alright!”

The woman first coaxes the tarantula into her open palm using what looks to be a soft bristled paint brush. It’s funny watching her gently nudge the brush against the creatures big furry butt. It slowly crawls into her hand, and you can physically feel Jesse tremble. You look back at him, “Jesse, just one of your hands are at least two times bigger than this tarantula is. This tarantula can’t do shit to you.”

“Darlin, I ain’t tryna say you’re not right, but that doesn’t keep the little critter from being real creepy.”

Hanzo isn’t paying any attention to the two of you. He is concentrating on the spider that is now crawling into his welcoming hands. It stays there, cradled, its two front legs feeling along the tips of his fingers. Hanzo is still smiling, “Thank you for letting me hold her.”

The woman continues to light up, “Are you kidding me? You are very welcome. I’m so happy you guys took time out of your day to hang out with me and listen to me ramble about this. Tarantulas are my passion.”

After a couple more tarantula facts, Hanzo places the creature back down into its habitat, and you guys make Jesse very happy by deciding it’s time to move on. The three of you continue to stay close to each other as you visit the rest of the exhibits. When you’ve officially seen them all, you guys go back to gawk at each of your favorites. When hunger strikes, you guys stop at a little cart that specializes in soft tacos. You watch in amazement as Hanzo orders six and downs them all. You guys don’t leave the zoo until you are forced to, because it’s closing time. The three of you leave feeling the good kind of tired, all having found a new favorite place to be.

Pictures of You (Luke Hemmings)

warning: this imagine contains a photo of fetus luke. continue at your own risk :)

~

You were walking around the park with your camera when you heard music coming from your right. You looked over and nothing was there – just a hill – so you decided to investigate. Once you reached the top, you looked around and finally found what you were hearing – a blonde boy with a guitar in his lap, singing softly for the people who took the time to stop and pay him any attention. You snapped a couple shots from the hill before venturing closer to get a better listen yourself.

As he was playing and you were shooting, you couldn’t help but notice the small grin on his face as he sang. It wasn’t because he was being photographed – he hadn’t even looked up to know you were there – he was just smiling because he was doing something he enjoyed.

It suddenly dawned on you that you’d seen this boy before – Luke, if you remembered his name correctly – and this was always a look he had on his face when you saw him playing. He usually had three of his friends with him, but today – for some reason – he was performing alone. You’d gradually gotten closer as the afternoon wore on, but people would keep walking and standing in front of you – either not noticing your camera or not caring – but you were truthfully starting to get ticked off, so you just shut your camera off and moved over to sit on the grass and listen to him play.

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The Contest-Part 10

To celebrate Supernatural’s 15th season, the producers have decided to hold a contest to cast an unknown in a recurring role as Sam’s rumored love interest. They are doing open casting calls all over the country. Your best friend Nikki wants to go and she drags you along.

A/N:  My inspiration for Nikki is the one and only Red, @oriona75

Characters: Reader, Best friend Nikki (OC), Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Mark Sheppard, Cliff, Emily (OC) other Supernatural cast and crew

Part 1 (all parts are linked)

Jared walked over to the bar and poured another drink, which he downed in one swallow.

“Where is this coming from, Jared?” I asked.   “It was just a song I like. Why are you reading so much into it?” I sat down on the couch and waited for an answer.

When he sat down he didn’t look at me.  “Gen is getting remarried.” He said suddenly.

“Is that what this is about?  Do you still have feelings for her?” I suddenly was afraid of his answer.

He finally looked at me.  “I’m in love with you. You are the only one I want to be with.” He said firmly. “I’m happy for Gen, but that’s it.”

“Then what are you so upset about?” I demanded. “I don’t understand!”

“Gen’s getting her second chance, and I want mine!” He said angrily.   “We wasted so much time and soon the season will be over.  I don’t want you to leave!  Don’t go back.   I want you to stay with me.”

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[ENG] Sechskies Allure Interview (2/2)

[Kim Jae Duck]

You got a lot of new parts in the . What’s your favorite part?

I like the rap part in “Couple”. Tablo wrote the rap, and I think it’s pretty and it suits me well. There’s a part where we all draw a rainbow on stage, and that was Jiwon hyung’s idea.

Are you finally over the deprivation of MVs?
To be honest, I never had that much feelings against our MVs. Old MVs have some cons, of course, since they were filmed at our office or were a mashup of other videos. But I think they turned out pretty well. This time, I tried harder because I wanted to keep showing better sides.

How was the filming?
What I liked the most about it was the fact that I went to Japan with the members. It was disappointing that we didn’t really get to spend much time together except for when we were eating because of tight schedule. We had to wake up at 3~4 AM, get ready, film, and we couldn’t even stay out for long because it was cold. I wanted to watch other members awkwardly filming the couple scenes, but I couldn’t. I watched the indoors ones, but they all did well when they started shooting.

Any memorable episode?
Snowflakes were as big as the \500 coins, so we watched it snowing. Jaejin, Suwon, and I finished first, so we went to Sapporo’s beer factory to get a drink. We also went to a park together, and Jaejin made chimpanzee noises there, which was really funny.

Is the team activity different from before?
I think individual personalities and styles are the same as before. But everyone did get more mature. We all have a lot more responsibilities now. We did what was asked without thinking much back then, but now, we all try to participate voluntarily.

Do you feel that there are a lot of new fans?
When I read fan letters or go to filming sites, I see a few young fans. I think it’s cool. I want to tell them, “You’re sad that you’ve come to know us so late too, right? Since you’re late, please like us more, and let’s be together for a long long time”.

Do you feel the difference between 20th century fan culture and 21st century fan culture?
The most obvious one is camera. Back then, there was no camera even on cellphones, but now, they bring huge cameras to take pictures of me. Not only are they good at taking pictures, but they’re also good at editing them, so sometimes I get surprised looking through my SNS. Also, back then, fans crowded around us when they saw us, but now, they don’t approach us. They just take pictures from far away. But one thing that hasn’t changed is their eyes. Regardless of age, everyone still looks like a young girl because of their innocent eyes full of excitement.  

Do you read all the comments on your SNS?
Yes. Fans leave comments that can encourage me and make me laugh. There are touching ones. By reading those comments, I try to fix my mistakes. I think it’s good that I can always show improvements through those feedback.

Fans call you ‘Duck-Chael’ (Jaeduck+Michael). Isn’t the angel image sometimes burdensome?
It was Michael that came after my name? (laughs). But everyone likes nice people. It’s good that people view me in that way. But did I really seem that nice? I have weaknesses too, but I guess fans see more of my strengths.

What was your favorite move when you were in charge of choreographing?
It was mostly Jaejin who made the choreography, and I just helped on the side. It’s already 20 years ago, so I don’t even remember which choreographs I participated in. I think “Road fighter” was really cool, and “Pom Saeng Pom Sa” was very upbeat. But the recent choreos are more fun. The new “Com’ Back” and “Chivalry” choreos have completely different styles from before.

How did it change?
Before, we almost always danced right on the beat, but nowadays, you split the beat a lot. It gets awkward sometimes because my body’s not used to it. The dance itself did get harder, but it’s also that my brain can’t follow as quickly as it could before.

What was the most exciting moment since the reunion?
I think the most memorable ones are of course guerrilla concert on and our recent concert. At Yellow Note concert, they played a video of our fans singing to “Couple” and that almost made me cry.

Your style changed the most since the reunion. Do you like it?
At first, it was hard to accept. It’s not easy when everything suddenly changes at once. But I just trusted the stylists, and I’ve heard that I look good in the style, which boosts me up. Depending on the style of my clothes, my attitude and facial expressions also change. I like such changes.

Have you gotten used to doing photo shoots?
It’s still awkward. But there’s always an excitement at photo shoot sites. You get to meet new people at a new environment. It’s new, but it’s exciting.  

I’ve heard that you filmed in Busan with the memebers. How did that go?
At first, it was a bit awkwrad because I wasn’t used to such setting, but as time went on, I got to have a lot of fun. I think I would’ve had more fun if it wasn’t being filmed. I try not to be conscious of the camera, but sometimes it doesn’t work. I do think it could’ve been better without the cameras.

Do you have any plan of travelling with the members, apart from filming?
We’ve talked about it, but as of right now, carrying out our schedules is the most important.

Do you have any member that you want to form an unit with?
I think I’ll be able to show stronger sides with the black kies members, Jiwon hyung and Jaejin. We’ve been on stage together just as three, and I liked it. I think it’ll be fun.

[Jang Su Won]

You were the second most active member, after Eun Ji Won.
It might seem like I did a lot because of the robot acting, but it’s only been 2 years since I started doing individual activities. I try to be honest and accept everyone’s opinions on variety shows, and I think people like that side.

Robot acting could’ve created a bad reputation, but it was an opportunity for you.
At first, people did criticize me. Then people started laughing, and it became my charm. My personality and attitude changed a lot because of it. If I kept being criticized like I did in the beginning, I would’ve lost all my confidence, but I was lucky. If this happened in the past, I could’ve been forced to leave the industry for a while. Luckily, it became an opportunity for me.

I’ve heard that you played a big role in the reunion.
As time passed, I started to miss the times we were together more. I was a Sechskies member for only 2 years and a half, but back then, it really felt like I was just having fun with hyungs and friends that I liked. I always thought that if there’s a second chance, I want to have more fun with it.

Nowadays, there’s a lot of idol groups that work together but aren’t close.
I think some friends nowadays want get more attention than other members in the group. There’s no one in Sechskies that wants all the attention in variety shows, or wants to do individual activities like acting or going solo. I think that’s why we never felt like we were in a business relationship.

You were the only person that kept in contact with all the members even after the break up.
I keep relationships a broad group of people I don’t really cut anyone off just because that person is different from me. Unless there was a fight or some harm done, I keep in contact.

Such quality must’ve been helpful in your business.
Yes. I finally understand why adults say connection is more important than money.

Isn’t it hard to both own a business and do Sechskies activities?
I’ve been thinking that recently. I can go to my restaurant once a week at most, and recently, I could only once or twice a month. If the CEO isn’t there, management gets neglected even if there’s a manager. I didn’t know things would get this big in terms of scale, so I had opened up two restaurants. I did it just in case I don’t get work, but it’s now worrisome because we’re getting more work as Sechskies.

You said in that drinking with Eun Ji Won is uncomfortable. Is he more careful after that?
Not at all. That person is never careful to his dongsaengs. He’s only weak to people who are older or stronger than him. (laughs)

You’re the maknae in the team, but don’t you have desire to lead people?
Now I like taking care of people and taking them to places, but when I was young, I liked being with hyungs even if it’s a little uncomfortable. But as I’ve aged, I don’t like it if it’s uncomfortable no matter where hyung takes me. I don’t mind being the one to pay if I’m eating with dongasaengs that I like.

You called a person who nags while drinking a fogey.
Even people who are normally quiet tend to nag after drinking, calling themselves life sunbaes. If I keep repeating myself and nagging a lot, then I’ve become a fogey. I try not to nag or make it uncomfortable for dongsaengs. Even if I do, I only do it once.

How do you want to age?
I want to age fine, instead of trying too hard to look young. I want to look my age, but still have some charm. Just looking young as a “frozen man” isn’t as important. I don’t want to dye my hair pink and pretend like I’m young, like someone.

Are you targeting a specific member?
No, it was just an example, hahahaha.

Were you always blunt like this?
I never showed this side on TV, but I always was in waiting rooms. When filming for a show, I had to wait until other members talk first. Sometimes, I just stood there without coming up with any answer in my head because I felt like my turn wasn’t going to come. Back then, I only sang and other members did the talking.

Weren’t you disappointed that you didn’t have as many opportunities to show your talents?
No. I’m introverted and I don’t think I have that much talent. It was only recently that I started talking on variety shows, because I had a lot of things that I had to do on my own. Even when I talk on shows, I have to first think “What if I say this?” I don’t think I have talent in speaking well.

You’re good at dancing and singing, but sometimes those get covered up by the robot character.
Performances that I had mistakes in on were rehearsals. But I think they just aired the rehearsal instead since it’s not a music program. The robot image does get in the way sometimes, but it’s an image that I’ve created, so I have to bear with it. It’s not easy, but I try not to be stressed about it.

There are a lot of edited videos of your past performances and recent performances. It shows that Jang Su Won is constantly improving.
I don’t really watch either of them. The old ones are too bad and embarrassing. I’m not the type to monitor performances and analyze. I just try my best day to day.

In what aspect are you going to improve more?
Jekki is my one and only goal right now. It’s only been half a year since we made a come back, and we only have one new song. We still have a lot of time left. I want to make better songs, and I want jekki to be more global. Wouldn’t it be possible since YG has a lot of resources? I want to focus on jekki activites without thinking about anything else.

Were you always this ambitious?
Catch me on variety shows saying some nonsense, if this all fails.

[Lee Jae Jin]

Is there a reason you got rid of your SNS account?
Because there’s a Sechskies official website now. I wanted the fans to all gather there instead of being spread out on various platforms. I want other members to get rid of their personal accounts too.

Your hair is blue today.
I just got it done today. To be honest, the members have been suggesting that I dye my hair blue again, in a mocking way. I think they thought that I wouldn’t do it. I had pushed it off until now, but I finally did it.

You’re the only one who did V-live regularly.
I told everyone that I’ll do it every week since other members weren’t interested. I said I’ll do it whenever I go to my art studio, which I go to at least once a week. If you watch the first episode, I literally just draw. Since I can’t really read the fans’ comments while drawing, my professor at the studio chooses a couple of them to ask, and then I answer.

The way you were so focused on drawing in a sleevless shirt showing arms, was like a scene from a movie.
V-app is a live broadcast and I don’t even have a script, so there isn’t really anything to do. It was just my most natural state. In the summer ones, I had to wear sleveless because I get hot really easily. I didn’t really think ‘oh since I draw with my right hand, my right biceps are going to look nice’.

Did you focus on art after the military dischargement?
It hasn’t been that long since I started drawing. In 2010, I had a chance to join YG’s design team. Ten of my pieces made it into Big Bang’s album. And in 2014, when my nephews were older, the company’s director suggested that I should study art. But I really just like going to theme parks and Jeju Island with my nephews. I don’t really spend that much, anyways.

Fans told you not to marry, and you responded with “Then we’ll just cohabit”. Both are taboos in idol culture.
Why does all that matter at this age? I think living together is better than getting married. I don’t have to legally change my address.

You’re good at “fan training”, like deleting your picture on SNS 10 seconds after posting it. You should be good at that stuff, even in relationships.
Not really. You know how people always check up on eachother when in a relationship? I answer if the other person asks, but I never ask first. It’s not like I’m going to run to the place anyways. It was out of respect, but they thought I was uninterested in them.

Contrary to your carefree personality, you ran away when Sechskies was about to disband and hid. It was unexpected of you.
I came to Seoul from Busan when I was in second year in high school. I thought when we disband, my life in Seoul ends. Everything that was right in front of my eyes was about to disappear and I didn’t even know which was going to disappear first, so I was anxious and frustrated. And it took me especially long to become close with the members. Looking back, the members were so precious to me. So I disagreed to dreaking up, but some released their solo album in less than a year, and everyone was living well. (laughs)

You released three solo albums too?
I personally really don’t like those albums. I was just going to enlist after disbanding, but my mom kept saying “why don’t you release an album too?” after seeing other members doing so. I had to release it because of her.

Are you satisfied with the remake album?
Things that reflect an era get old, eventually. So the remade versions are better than the old ones, of course.

You had a yellow badge on you on .
I was working out when the Sewol tragedy happened. I was watching it live on TV, and I was frustrated. I clearly remember thinking “Why don’t they save the kids?” I was really heartbroken. I put the ribbon on to remember the deaths of the young students.

You’re known as the ‘4D, alien’ one, but do you have a member that you think is weirder than you?
Hm. I’m not interested. I don’t really care if there is or not.

Then are you only interested in your nephews?
No! I’m the most important to me. Of course, I blend in well without thinking I need to be the most noticeable, when I’m with my members.

You were in . Have you read some bad comments?
Yes, I read them because I’m curious. Sometimes, I stare at them blankly. I ask myself, “Why do these people put an effort of logging in, just to comment some hateful comments, and dislike the article? Do they really hate me enough to slap me when they meet me in real life?”

I heard you researched where the fans lived and chose the intermediate area as where your birthday party was going to be hosted.
Thanks to that, I found out that Daejeon is the best place for fans from all over the country to gather. I know which pubs are good, too.

Until when do you plan to do Sechskies activities?
I think we would have to see how things go in 2017. I’ve asked the members, “Do you think we’ll do this until we completely lose popularity, or until someone makes a big mistake?” But since we’re old, Sechskies won’t disband again because of individual activities. I am pretty sad that I don’t have enough time to draw for my exhbition, but right now, Jekki is my everything.


————————Thank you for reading! Feel free to share the link, as always

Translated by: sechskies0415.tumblr.com

gif cr: 볼펜

Why am I am I not studying?

Hi socially awkward teenage girl here. And like any other socially awkward teen this is a teen looking for some friends maybe. I feel like conversation die when you start talking to a new person in like a matter of days, I guess it depends on whether you click with them right? Anyways, I’m looking for a friend, another human, who shares my distaste of other humans that surround me (mostly people at school), and is just a relaxed, kinda weird, sarcastic, funny, meme lover stranger as that is a perfect representation of me. I’m pretty amazed at how this whole idea of internet friends has given so many people a chance to get to know amazing people all over the world. I’m a 16 year old girl currently preparing (procrastinating) for exams she’s bound to fail but hopes not to. I’m in sixth form/grade 11 and doing A levels/ highers. I’m from a small town called Stirling, Scotland, I would normally say there’s not much here and it’s frankly quite boring but I feel like everyone says that. But there are things to do here I’m just not gonna describe it and what they are because I’m lazy and because there’s this fascinating thing the teenagers these days are calling: the internet. It’s how we hopefully meet. Cool huh? I’m a wannabe indie kid, with split personalities to match my music tastes. I’m a bohemian millennial child, who naturally gives of the whole hippie vibe because I literally seem like the calmest person ever when actually I’m a wreck mate. Also, one minute I’m the definition of positivity, like yay puppies and think I’d better be off as a mermaid and the next I’m planning to send tapes to whoever decides exams were necessary as they will be the reason I die, and I legit complain about EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. It’s annoying so I’m sorry in advance. Anywho, I play the ukulele and electric guitar, I enjoy taking photos of friends, pretty flowers, and also pretty ugly pictures of myself too. I’m a coffee lover, tea hater kinda gal. I love films, my favorites are fight club, the breakfast club, 100 days of summer, rings, IT (basically I have a stack of horror movies that take up two shelves) and I love all Marvel. I also love yellow but feel blue at the fact that summer is so close but I still have a month of exams and then another month of hell to overcome. I love bands like the 1975, the blossoms, red hot chili peppers, the smiths, Led Zeppelin, circra waves, bad suns, fall out boy, David Bowie, prince, parachute, the vaccines, Florence and the machines, Lana del ray, sundara karma, of monsters and men and ed sheeran and many more. I like to swim, run and take forest walks. I paint and draw, even tho I probably suck.

So anyways enough of boring old me, what I’m basically looking for: the person, whomever you may be, must be 16+, the person should be able to handle sarcasm, memes, long deep emails every once or twice a week, rants, weird texts about the strangest topics, handle my love for music, and be able to understand I am the most sarcastic person ever, like for example if I simply answer a question in class I come off as being sarcastic. I’m that bad. I’m sorry. I’d like to be able to get to know your fears, your dreams, your thoughts and not make you feel like you have no one to talk to. The person should be race, gender, religion,LGBT+ friendly, as I don’t care about any of that as long as your friendly, be able to speak fluent English as I don’t sadly speak anything other then English despite the fact I’ve been learning French for five years and Spanish for three 😅and be able to understand my random uses of caps to highlight my excitement or just pure rant mode. Basically, I need a human around my age who is FRIENDLY, you don’t even need to have the same interests as me because frankly if you didn’t I wouldn’t care because that just means I get to fall in love with new things, and maybe make you fall in love with my things. Someone who respects me, and I can respect them, someone who is open minded, passionate about something, and just themselves. Not asking for much (I hope). I’d like to be able to text someone daily but then again send the occasional long email that’s most likely to be very deep.

So hit me up 🤙🏻:
Instagram (preferred method as it is the only way for instant reply): @nayabxshah_
Snapchat: will give out once I’m comfortable with you and we’ve lasted longer then at least two weeks

Also, if you could say you found me on here that would be greatly appreciated, and just tell me your name, age, where you’re from and your hobbies. So we have something to start from and much appreciated if we completely forget this thing we call awkwardness exists and talk like we’re the best of friends and have known each other for years!

P.s. I have this thing the teens call crippling anxiety

anonymous asked:

hi love! im a sucker for 'harry falling for a fan' and hes all filled with fluffy thoughts with some lust. can you please write that? x

It’s such a cute concept, cause don’t we all swoon about it? I’m not sure it delivered… it started one way, but then…. So, I sat on it for a bit, but it didn’t really present any other way to attack it. In any case, I hope you enjoy! x.

Gentle reminder: requests are closed! I’m working on putting up ones I’ve had partially drafted and trying to clear through them. We can, however, always TALK about Harry, if you want. ;) 

040. A Harry Girl

The ironic thing of it all is that he’s not even your favorite one. Niall is your favorite, and the first time he meets you, he’s with the Irishman, and you flush your whole way through the night while dropping off pint upon pint for them.

Both he and Niall are gracious and do their best to put you at ease, and pictures are posed for with polite gratitude upon his offering, but that’s as far as it goes.

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Stunts Part 1 - Tom Holland Imagine

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: in this part, nothing much except for mentions of stunts and stress caused by school, but next part will have mentions of anxiety and fear

Summary: Ever since Haaz and Tom left to work on the Spiderman movies, you’ve been left alone to your studies. But, the cast had grown to love you much that they give you a surprise over Winter Break.

Word Count: 1592


It was nearing Winter Break, and your best friends were nowhere near you.

“Happy first day of break, (Y/n)!”

You laughed. “You’re not on break, Tom. And neither are you, Haz” You sighed. “I’m going to guess you’re not coming to visit.”

Tom shrugged. Harrison laughed. “You could’ve come.”

“My school won’t let me take months off like you, Haz.” The three of you stared at each other with knowing eyes. At the exact same moment, you all stuttered in your best Peter Parker impression, “I got… homework.” Haz, Tom, and you sputtered and laughed. You reached out to hold onto their hands, only to find they weren’t there.Your laugh died down and turned into a sad smile. That hole in your stomach grew.

Ever since Tom left for the movie, you relied on Haz to keep your sanity. Then, Tom offered you both jobs on set. Haz took it. You… didn’t. There were too many things in your life in your home that you couldn’t leave.

You were fine with it. You had to be.

You weren’t. You had to remind yourself that this friendship was not imaginary.

“Tom, did you tell her yet?!” someone shouted from off the camera. Laura appeared on the screen. “I guess not. Hey, (Y/n).”

You smiled a little. “Hi, Laura. Tell me about what exactly?”

Laura leaned over. “Well-”

“Hey, I said I’d tell her!” Haz argued.

Tom rolled his eyes. “(Y/n), if you want, we can… bring you over during winter break?” Tom’s lips pursed into a tense smile.

You blinked a few times. “Wait a minute. To the set?”

“Yeah!” Haz exclaimed. “We can show you around, not everywhere, but a lot of places.”

“Plus, everyone wants to meet you in person,” Laura added. She pointed at your two best friends. “These two will not stop talking about you.”

You nodded. “Ok, so I need a plane tick-”

“Not needed,” Laura sang out. “It’s paid for!”

You gasped. “What?! Are you serious?” Your jaw dropped as you jumped a little in your seat. ‘That’s crazy! I’m going to see all you guys?”

“Yeah!” the three answered with bright smiles.

You laughed. “That’s amazing!” You giggled a little. “Thanks so much you guys.”

“Anything for our best friend,” Tom beamed. His eyes shined.

You were going to see them. Tom, Haz, Laura, everyone. You’d get to see, talk, and laugh with them in person and not through some screen.

A speaker crackled. “Cast, please, come to Set 21. Cast to Set 21.”

Laura clicked her tongue. “Well, that’s our cue. See you later, (Y/n).”

“Yeah, can’t wait til you’re here,” Tom added.

You smiled. “I’ll see you guys soon.”

Laura pulled Tom right off the screen.

You bit your lip and sighed. On the other side of the camera, Haz was tapping the desk repeatedly. He groaned. “Are we going to address the elephant in the room?”

You shook your head. “Nuh-uh.”

Your best friend threw back his head. “(Y/n), you need to tell him.”

“I am not telling him. It’s not like anything will come out of me telling him.”

Haz started tapping his fingers again.

You gulped. “Plus, it’s been a year. I haven’t seen Tom in a year. I haven’t seen you in six months. You all changed while you were away.”

“So have you. Even with the changes, you and Tom… you still have it. (Y/n), he talks about you. A lot. Like, way too much to be normal for a best friend.”

You held your breath. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be. Tom like you? In that way? No. He was Tom Holland, up-and-coming rising star and the new face of Spiderman. And you? You inhaled shakily. “He just missed me is all.” You laughed a little, your heart cracking with each rumble of your chest. “I gotta finish studying.”

“See ya, (Y/n). Think about it?”

“Maybe.” You hung up.

On the other side of the screen, Haz turned around and smiled widely. “You convinced yet, Tom?”

Tom, who was still in the room but out of the camera’s view, was staring at the blank screen. His wrinkles were deeply set. His arms were crossed, and his eyes were hooded. Finally, Tom shrugged. “That could be about anything.”

Laura and Haz rolled their eyes.

“Guys, look at me. I can’t give her anything other than no privacy and stress and everything else that comes with being… an actor.” Tom sighed. “She’ll never… She doesn’t have any reason to.”

Then, you were on a plane. You had been bouncing your knee, tapping your fingers, and doing anything else that would calm down your excited stomach. Security was so skeptical of you. Another fangirl who stalked the cast. You already had your hand on your phone, ready to get photos of you and your two best friends.

“She’s with us.”

You looked up from your bag with a bright smile. “Haz!” You tackled him with a hug.

He laughed. “There’s the girl of the hour.” Haz tightened his grip on you. “I missed you so much.”

“I think I missed you more.” You laughed.

Your best friend inhaled through his teeth as he pulled you away. “I think someone else missed you more than anything.”

Your intimidating stare made Haz step back. He held up his hands in defense. “I’m just saying, (Y/n)! Either way, he is waiting.”

You shook your head. Haz grabbed your hand and sped past the buildings, tents, and people. Suddenly, you were at some trailers, and one was clearly labeled for the Tom Holland. “Do I knock?” you asked.

“See for yourself.”

Knowing Haz was up to something, you whipped around just in time to get swooped up into Tom’s big bear hug. “Hello to you!” he shouted in a the weirdest accent you ever heard.

You laughed. “Tom, I swear, put me down now or Peter Parker goes missing in the movie!”

Haz gasped. “Not the money-maker, (Y/n)!” As Tom put you down, Haz walked up behind him and pointed at Tom’s face. “I mean look at this. The world needs this.”

After a beat of silence, you three laughed.

Tom then said, “Hey, it’s nice to see you again.”

“You, too.”

Haz looked at you then Tom. He sputtered, “Well, don’t just stand there! Everyone’s been dying to meet you.”

“Really?” you gasped.

Tom laughed. “Plus, we have a great day planned.” He offered up his arm, which you take gratefully, and he led the way. Tom continued, “Visiting sets, costume department, props, and the stunts.”

“Stunts?” you asked.

Haz appeared at your other side and linked his arm with yours. “You know pixie dust? We have our own here. They’re called harnesses.”

You beamed. “I can’t wait to get started.”

“Is that (Y/n)?!”

You jumped a little.

Walking right towards you was Zendaya and Tony. You had seen them in so many video chats, but seeing them and knowing they were just a few steps away made you hop on your toes from giddiness. “Zendaya? Tony!” You let go of Tom and Haz and embraced the two actors. “It’s so nice to finally meet you in person!” You pulled away and gasped. “I mean, look at you!”

Zendaya laughed. “Look at you! You are way prettier in person.”

“Yeah, Tom made sure we knew of that,” Tony agreed.

Before you could question his statement, Tom popped out from behind you. “Guys, we have a schedule to keep.”

Zendaya scoffed. “Since when do you care about schedules?”

“When one of my best friends is here for the first time.”

You giggled. “So, what’s first?”

You met Jacob along the way to sets. He was looking for the donuts apparently. “They always get Krispy Kreme, and that’s my favorite, ok?”

You asked, “Did you find them?”

“Oh, I did.” He pulled out a small box of Krispy Kreme donuts. “You want some. According to Tom and Haz, you guys had a tradition with donuts.”

You gladly took a glazed one. “To celebrate winter break.”

The sets were larger than life or simpler than you ever could imagine. Sometimes, it was just a green screen. Next was the costume department. Many hats were tried on and reject clothing items were smashed together. Then, they were all carefully placed back in their original spots. More or less. Then, the stunts. There, Laura was waiting. She was helping the crew set up for the experience.

“(Y/n)!”

You sprinted to her. “Finally!” The two of you met with a hearty embrace. She laughed and beamed at you. “It’s s nice to finally see you in person. Now, I can know what those two are talking about.” Lauren rubbed your arms and pinched your cheeks.

You giggled. “Says the model-ready actress.”

A creaking sound was brought to everyone’s attention. A crane was descending and placing down another harness on the set floor. You smiled. “Is this what stunts mean?”

Haz nodded and pulled you to his side. “You need the full Spiderman experience! So, what better way to do that than have you swing through the streets of New York like Spiderman?”

You jumped with glee raising your cheeks.“Thank you!”

You, Tom, and Haz were strapped into harnesses of your own. You had one best friend on either side of you. The three of you were lifted up a few inches. You tugged on the wires. Everything seemed stable.

“Ready for lift off!” Tom yelled. “Let’s go!”


Hello, everyone! It’s been a while. Anyway, I know, bad ending, reallly bad, but I’ve got lots of math homework to do and I can’t seem to make it better….

Anyway, I don’t know when the next part will be… But, I will do some things inbetween this and the next part. That will be in the next announcement!

Anyway, long note… Wow. I miss you guys so much!!! Hopefully, I will write more in the near future. Hope you guys enjoy this part! Have a wonderful day!

EDIT: Part 2 is up!

fic: this is the golden age (of something good and right and real) 

summary: immortals!au in which they fall in love in 1961, fall apart in 1965, and fall again in 2015. 

word count: 10.1k

warnings: the usual swearing/sex, vague descriptions of PTSD, somewhat detailed descriptions of war violence, implied character death 

a/n: WHAT?!?!?!? CALISTA WROTE A ONE SHOT?!?! SAY IT AIN’T SO!! as always s/o to the other half of team sugar spice and everything nice, megan slimeboyhowell for cheering me on and letting me headcanon abt hot Marine phil at odd hours of the morning <33 i was gonna make a playlist for this but nobody ever listens to those, so i come bearing two wonderful songs for u to listen to that remind me of this fic: the song from the title, state of grace (acoustic) by taylor swift + forever and ever amen by the drums


They’re unabashedly in love in the biting New York frost of the winter of 1964, one month before Phil leaves for Vietnam.

Dan is twenty-three and already established as a photographer at The New York Post; Phil teaches English and Art History to thirteen and fourteen year olds at Astor Country Day on the Upper East Side. Their apartment (their, their, their, he loves reminding himself of the sharedness, even now) in the Village is cluttered with scattered mementos of their three years together, photographs framing bare skin, cheap photo booth strips, notes signed with hesitant x’s and drenched in cologne, brochures from the Van Gogh exhibition at the MoMA from the year before. It’s big enough for the two of them to hole themselves in from the tenacious hum of the city below, to hide them from eyes that linger too long on their clasped hands and twin smiles, to last on artist salaries.

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