molecules of thought

I have this large overwhelming urge to do or create something that matters. It can only be described as a longing to exist as more than myself. Humans lives are the creation of million upon millions of synapses. They are formed by electric currents that are dictated only by the smallest imaginable particles. When you dissect what it means to be human all you get is positively charged ions and the laws that require them to transverse boundaries for uninhabited space. This is the only tool to reconcile my yearning for significance and there remain infinite moments to conceive such things. So why, every time I try, do those tiny particles bring me back to you?

I fear that one day I will bump into you on the street or inside a restaurant then my world will zero in on you and I will feel the same way as I did that day I had to let you go. I’m scared that years from now, when we have seemingly moved on with our own lives and living it with different people, we’ll still be each other’s greatest what-if.
—  Why La la land fucked me up / deepthoughtsofanobody