THIS-IS-MY-HEADCANON

can you imagine if dianite in the void box is like ‘yo anyone wanna play uno’ and everyone’s like sure sure why not

and the entire time mot and tom are just yelling at each other because

HERE TOM YOU HAVE TO TAKE +4 CARDS CAUSE YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY CHEATING’ 

‘YOU PIECE OF SHIT MOT I’M NOT CHEATING YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S OBVIOUSLY CHEATING’ 

eventually dianite and tucker have to break the two up before they get into a fist fight and as dianite stands up, like 7 wild cards fall out of his sleeve and everyone stares at him before jordan in the background just sorta goes ‘…..i have uno’

sonja at this point is trying to stop from laughing and martha and wag are just shaking their heads and smiling

andor and gaines are kinda relieved that jordan is probably gonna win because oh my god who would’ve thought that uno would be so problematic???

• jily get paired up to raise one of those lil fake babies (and of course there are more boys to girls in the class and remus and sirius get paired up (and their baby probably ends up dead or dying by the time eight weeks are over))

• james and lily who aren’t really friends but are far from enemies. they kind of just exist, with small acknowledgements of each other but nothing much

• james hangs out with the rest of the marauders and lily sticks to mary and marlene and frank and alice although the latter two seem to be gone most of the time

• so they’re in health class one day and the teacher assigns them as partners and james is pretty happy (i mean I would be too if i were working with lily evans for an entire eight weeks)

• turns out that there are uneven numbers in the class and remus and sirius end up being paired up (their baby dies within a week because sirius leaves it on top of the urinal and forgets it)

• they decide that lily has it during the day and james has it at night, and they swap every week

• james and lily spend a lot of time together because of the baby (there’s a lot of midnight phone calls, mostly because they’re both v spiteful and in a ‘if I’m not getting a good night’s sleep, I will make sure that you’re not either even if we only live two doors down from each other’ kind of mindset)

• so there’s lots of afternoons in the dog park where they do their homework with the baby (which james christened ‘elvendork’ after james realised that the baby had no genitals.

• “you can’t just say that the baby is a girl or a boy, so to be safe lets name it elevndork because its a highly commendable name and also–unisex

• (the only thing the baby really had were unnervingly green eyes))

• “kind of like you, evans”

• they they go the the dog park with elvendork straight after school a lot and they’re in uniform and they get more than one dirty look from a member of the public who doesn’t realise that the baby isn’t real

• they’re kind of relaxed about it, james goes to lily’s house and they kind of just toss the baby at each other while eating and chatting

• james insists that he show lily that he is very capable of doing push ups with elvendork on his back. shirtless, of course

• lily just rolls her eyes

• they don’t go to james’s house (despite mrs potter doting on james, lily, and elvendork) because sirius lives with james and like hell they’re going to let sirius in a house with two of these things, like ffs who let him have one in the first place

• remus doesn’t really care for his baby either. he’s kind of ‘eh’ about the whole situation and he ends up rigging it so that it screams whenever elvendork comes within two metres of it (james is not impressed)

• (there’s probably one point in which james and lily almost kiss but elvendork starts crying and ruins the mood) (they don’t talk about this certain moment again)

• eventually eight weeks is up and they hand in their baby and get a surprisingly good mark

• remus and sirius hand theirs in but remus has fiddled with it again so all it does is swear in german

• james realises that he likes lily and catches up with her before the day ends

• “hey evans, even though elvendork is gone I thought that you might want to go to the dog park after school to do some homework?”

• and naturally, lily says yes

okay so I wrote a post about the Lightwood’s having certain disorders and I really wanted to write some headcanons about it, actually I really wanted to write headcanons about the Lightwood’s helping each other out:

  • Jace has a form of OCD
  • its not a very serious form, but it does effect is life
  • Sometimes dealing with it angers Jace to the core
  • Once after a hunt he was cleaning his blade, which has to be cleaned with 45 wipes, he ended up losing count
  • Jace ended up breaking down because of it
  • “Its not right! i can’t re-do it but its not right!” he yelled knocking over a rack of weapons, “It’s not right!”
  • and while he paced, cursed and shook with frustration about it Isabelle came over and took his blade
  • without a word she started swinging it against a dummy until it was covered in stuffing
  • “There,” she said smiling at Jace, “looks like it could use another cleaning”
  • He has a certain booth and Taki’s that he has to sit at or he wont stay 
  • When people are sitting in his booth Isabelle or Alec has to go over and persuade the occupants to move 
  • When Clary comes into the picture both Isabelle and Alec pull her aside to explain whats going on
  • Clary ends up getting really informed about the disorder
  • She buys books and talks a lot with Isabelle and Alec, finding out what things Jace likes and dislikes. For example, how his sandwiches have to be made
  • Isabelle gets panic attacks
  • At first she only got them occasionally, usually when her parents left for days at a time 
  • but after Max died she started getting them a lot more
  • Once, she ended up having one while she was with Simon
  • She started hyperventilating, trembling, and sobbing
  • Simon tried to ask her what was wrong but nothing was working, he had never felt so useless
  •  So he did what he thought was best, he got Alec and Jace
  • It took the two of them only a few minutes to get Isabelle to the point were she wasn’t sobbing so much 
  • Both of the held her and talked to her
  • Alec ended up sending Simon home quickly after, and for the first time he wasn’t sharp or short with Simon
  • He promised to explain everything to Simon the next day
  • And he did
  • Simon then started doing more research about it and going to clinics, he even put Isabelle’s number on the loudest tone in his phone in case she gets one when he’s asleep
  • Isabelle went a long time after that not having an attack. The last one she got was the night after Simon lost his memories
  • Alec has anxiety’
  • It gets bad when he’s in a new place, on the spot in front of a lot of people, or in a room full of people he doesn’t know
  • his hands tremble, his heart races,  and sometimes he ends up falling into an anxiety attack
  • But Jace and Isabelle both know this even though Alec hides it very well
  • if Alec has to speak at a Clave meeting and he starts to show signs of an attack, Isabelle or Jace will stand up with him or answer for him
  • Jace is really good at talking Alec’s anxiety down when it hits  
  • Jace has an alarm on his phone every night, because he knows Alec gets anxiety attacks at night which are the worst
  • If it happens Jace will just sit with Alec and just talk, doing his best to keep Alec’s mind off of the anxiety
  • Once Magnus ended up getting into a fight with Alec because of it
  • to be fair Magnus didn’t know and all he wanted was Alec to come to one of his parties
  • Isabelle ended up walking in on the conversation and started getting really defensive for Alec
  • “He’s not some accessory, you can’t make him go if he doesn’t want to”
  • Instead of staying and arguing Isabelle just pulled Ale away because she knew it wasn’t helping his anxiety
  • Later,Isabelle came back to speak to Magnus and apologize
  • She ends up explaining why she snapped and why Magnus shouldn’t pressure Alec into being in a crowd
  • This conversation doesn’t make Magnus feel very good about himself
  • Isabelle explains how Magnus can help if Alec ever has an anxiety attack
  • Magnus starts to pay extra close attention to Alec so he can pin point when he’s feeling anxious  
  • Magus also starts learning breathing techniques and tries to get Alec to do yoga to help 
  • That doesn’t really go over well but when Isabelle and Jace start doing it Alec is felt defenseless and caves into Sunday yoga

I leave you with a little headcanon: 

The asymmetry in Will’s face is actually down to the fact that he got his nose busted and his jaw broken (so it moves wonky; had some serious dentistry done as a kid) and that one eyelid droops a little because he got punched in the eye by a school bully and had to wear a patch over it for a long time (which is where he picked up the trick of avoiding eye-contact and awkward stares by wearing glasses) and as all this was happening during the years he was first forming his self-image, and he’s so used to seeing his face as a slightly fucked-up version of what it was supposed to be, he has literally no concept of himself as a beautiful man. 

That is until he starts seducing Hannibal and gets deep enough into his mindset that he suddenly catches sight of himself in the mirror one day and thinks oh! I’m actually not-bad looking…

Okay but imagine this: 

At some point Tony gets turned into a Vampire

Nobody notices. 

Since he rarely emerges out of his workshop or the tower premises during the day, if not encased in the Iron Man armor, the first time he goes outside he is like “Ew, epic sunburn. See how the light of the day is evil, Pep? See?”

Since nobody in the Tower is a practicing Catholic there are no crucifixes around. And the Hulk doesn’t like the smell of garlic, even when he is in his Bruce form, so no garlic allowed in the Avengers Tower unless they want to have a green emergency on their hands. 

The whole building is also Tony’s, so it’s not like he requires explicit permission to go in anywhere. 

Steve says one day “you feel cold to the touch, are you okay?” Tony thinks about it… “yes, keep me warm?” and Steve is so happy about the blanket permission to cuddle he lets it go. 

They also have developed a tradition some months prior: Steve trims Tony’s goatee and cuts his hair, and Tony chooses Steve’s clothing. So he doesn’t usually need to use the mirror after he’s had at least two cups of coffee in him. 

As he starts getting weird cravings; he just drinks more coffee. Steve disproves, but he smells nice, so Tony lets him stand there and pout, or distracts him with some really aggressive cuddling. 

He stops appearing in tabloids and paparazzi shots unless he’s in the armor. But then again; it’s not like he is a social butterfly anymore. 

Jarvis says he is getting weird heat signature readings and Tony is not appearing on security cameras properly. All the other sensors are working though, and Tony makes a mental note to take a look at it some day when he is less busy. If only supervillains stopped attacking his building and wrecking his equipment… 

And so on.

Until one night they are having some really enthusiastic, horny bunny sex (Tony’s stamina has been off the charts lately, must be his newfound sobriety kickin’ in) and Tony bites Steve’s neck, breaking skin and tasting blood. He keeps sucking and swallowing it with gusto. God it tastes good… Strangest thing? He doesn’t even react to his own actions, doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, just keeps going until he is satisfied and is licking the wound over when an emergency alarm goes off. Tony suddenly snaps out of it and it feels like his self awareness coming back online.

Steve is all glaze-eyed and breathing heavily, like he is in trance (or like he is getting fucked within an inch of his life). He doesn’t even notice the alarm blaring, just keeps softly pleading Tony for more. And fuck! Tony knows that look all too well, he’s seen it too many times in the last few months… Shit.

“Cupcake, I think we might have a problem.”

Nnngg…

Ink

a drabble inspired by gideongraystairs (so I sent an ask a while ago asking if I could write a thing because your drabble was so inspiring and incredibly well written that I couldn’t resist)


He was starting to get used to his boyfriend painting himself in swirling, inky runes. Sometimes when they were laying together, the flame of a candle caressing warm hands against even warmer skin, Magnus would notice a new rune. The insignias ribboned along Alec’s wrists, strength and fortitude repeating over and over again, like a broken cassette tape. They were both propped up on their sides, facing one another. Magnus walked his fingers along Alec’s chest, before gently tapping his nose, and then continuing along Alec’s arm. He left a blazing path in his wake, Alec’s skin lighting like fire at the touch, becoming more rigid as Magnus’s fingers came closer to the ink wrapping around his wrist like chains. 

Magnus pressed his thumb against the inside of Alec’s wrist, gently brushing along the ink. Alec fell still at the touch, his breath hitching violently, and Magnus softly drew his fingers back. “You know.” Magnus murmured lightheartedly. “I do own paper.”

Alec stayed silent, his fingers meticulously running along the blankets bunched between the two bodies. The fabric felt like a wall and Magnus suddenly felt like tearing it down.

“Alec.” Magnus’s eyelashes fluttered up, catching Alec’s gaze. Sorrow framed Alec’s irises, boundless and uncontainable and wholeheartedly destructive. “Talk to me.”

“They’re just drawings, Magnus.” Alec felt himself choking, the lie wrapping around this throat and squeezing tightly, as if he was hanging from a noose. He thought about how many times that thought drifted through his mind. The faded scars lingering along his wrists, covered by the dark hues of black, burned brightly. They never let Alec forget.

“Don’t lie, not to me. Never to me.”

Alec’s face broke out into a sad smile. Infinite planes of desolation wafted along his sapphire pools, the blue morphing into a deserted, arctic chill. His eyes blinked shut and he felt Magnus’s lips press against his eyelids. An apology. A promise. 

Magnus thought about the smooth lines that whirled together to form a perfect rune. Strength. Fortitude. Strength. Fortitude. Strength. He thought about Alec gracefully lifting the marker and skating it along his body. 

What Magnus wouldn’t see was when Alec felt so completely broken, shards of himself peeling away while he crumpled down onto the hardwood floor of his small bedroom. When despair shred through him like a knife, starting at his stomach, spilling out the food he ate, all the way to his mind, spilling out his dark thoughts. He wouldn’t see how Alec’s hands shook while he dragged the cool felt tip against his scarred skin. Black ink would fall from the marker and cascade along the milky canvas, as if desperation was clawing at the surface. Scars and burns ran along his arms and across his waist, crisscrossing along his back, because, for once, Alec wanted to create his own masterpiece. The silvery scars, jagged along his wrists, permanently glowed, as a reminder of a time when he would curl up into himself instead of into the arms of Magnus. 

farashasilver asked:

Yooooooo I can't wait for retired blacksmith!Thorin AU, I love Shire AUs they are my everything. PS mechanic!Thorin tho :D :D :D

MECHANIC!THORIN. WHY DID I NEVER THINK OF THIS BEFORE. 

Thorin in dirty blue overalls with a smudge of grease on one cheekbone and his sweaty hair tied back in a low ponytail. Bilbo gets his car towed to his shop when the transmission starts going and he’s all ready to haggle and make sure he doesn’t get screwed out of his money. then he sees Thorin and he’s just?? until Thorin opens his mouth of course lmao Thorin no

3

Mostly a reference post for myself as I continue to amass details for my inevitable cross-season Black Crystal headcanon. I still don’t know why the Black Crystal is responding to Naru like this, but there’s certainly no mistaking that it is.

Well I mean “IT’S LURVE” is why, but in a more specific sense. Including the hilarious fact that The Stars gave Nephrite this thing and it is just completely fucking him over.