My dad really loves using su to create new Dad Jokes TM and his latest phase is Padparadscha.

For instance, he’ll look outside at the rain and say in this high-pitched voice, “I predict it’s going to rain!”

My personal favorite is when my mom disagrees with him about something and he says a moment later, in his Padparadscha voice, “I’ve just had a vision: your mother will disagree with me!”

For some reason she laughs at this. Every. Single. Time.

This has been happening all day.

Cripple Punk Gothic
  • “You are too young to be disabled,” they say. You age. “You are too young to be disabled,” they say. You age. “You are too young to be disabled,” they say. You have changed. They have not.
  • You see a flight of stairs. Your friend insists there are only a few. You don’t see an end. You are tired. There are too many stairs. You don’t see an end.
  • The door has an accessible entrance sticker. It is not accessible. You tell them so. They insist it is. You try to explain. They point to the sticker wordlessly.
  • You tell people there is no cute for your disability. They whisper. Soon everyone is whispering. You do not know what they are saying but you hear the word ‘yoga’.
  • You need an ice pack. You get one. You immediately need another. This has been happening all day. Or was it all year? You try to remember and you cannot think of a time you did not need an ice pack.
  • You stand up from your wheelchair. People gasp. Your disability has magically disappeared. You sit back down. Your disability returns.
  • You never notice people using canes. You get a cane. Suddenly you notice them. They’re everywhere. The number of canes grows. You chalk it up to your imagination, but you wonder if it really is growing. Soon, everyone will use canes.
  • You do not see yourself in magazines. You do not see yourself in movies. You do not see yourself on tv. You do not see yourself in books. You start to fear that you do not exist.
  • A person asks you what your disability is. “I don’t know,” you whisper, “no one knows.” They stare at you confused. You have never known.
  • You sleep. You are more tired. You don’t sleep. You are more tired. You go out. You are more tired. You stay in. You are more tired. The moon waxes. You are more tired. The moon wanes. You are more tired. You think about whether these things are related. You are more tired.

[disclaimer: you don’t have to identify with all of these in order to reblog (in fact I don’t expect most people will) but please do identify with the cripple punk movement as a whole! or if you’re reblogging for a friend tag that you are and you’re able bodied. Also please tag for unreality and depersonalization if you can! Feel free to add on]

Momma Rosita Pt. 2

This is based on @igottab-bbc idea of Johnny calling Rosita Mom, but with my own spin on it. Enjoy!


He’d been staying with Rosita and her family for at least a month now since his dad went to jail and Rosita had decided to have Johnny stay with her and the rest of her family, and they have been nothing, but nice and accepting. It wasn’t as bad as one would seem, when Johnny first moved in he was woken up by at least ten of the piglets, Rosita had scolded them and apologized, but Johnny said it was fine and now it’s part of his morning routine. The kids would usually with call him Johnny, or big brother, or a combination of the two, it warmed his heart and made him smile. Norman greeted him with a smile and a pat on the back, at First he was worried that Norman didn’t like him, but Rosita explained that he’s never been the most vocal animal, that did calm his nerves. Rosita’s the same at rehearsals as she as at home, she makes sure everyone’s doing ok and is taking care of them. She reminds Johnny when to go to bed, eating, and made sure he checked in with her before he goes out and tells her where he’s going exactly, just in case. Johnny’s never felt more at home before.

That day Johnny had been planning on going out to hang out with Meena, she was going to show him how to make muffins, he asked her if she could help him make them so he could give them to Rosita and the family to show his appreciation. After the wake up call from the piglets, he got ready in the bathroom real quick, got changed and headed downstairs, a few of the kids were already downstairs eating their cereal sleepily, but happily waiting for the others to come down, as he passed by he said good morning, in response the kids hummed, their mouths filled with their breakfast. Johnny smiles and reaches for an apple and taking a big bite out of it, he chewed happily as he leaned against the counter, waiting for Rosita to come down, so he could tell her his plans for later that evening. She doesn’t usually come downstairs until all the kids are, that’s to make sure everyone’s done getting ready before breakfast. Johnny watches as the kids start to come down the stairs in single file, signaling Rositas appearance after the last piglet, walking right behind the last one, and Norman trailing behind her.

“Good morning my darlings.” Rosita greets as she reaches the last step.

“Morning mommy!” They all tell back, then go back to laughing and talking to each other.

Rosita smiles and Norman kisses her cheek as he heads off I the other direction to gather his things for work.

“Good morning Johnny.” Rosita smiles at him and turns to the sink and turns on the radio so the only noise she hears isn’t just the kids and their chaos.

“Mornin’ Mum.” Johnny’s about to take the last bite of his apple, but stops hearing the words he just said, his eyes widen.

Rosita stops short, wondering if she’s heard him right, a confused look on her face she turns to look at him, and he looks just as shocked as she is.

“I’m sorry.” He says immediately under Rositas stare, he quickly throws his Apple away. “It was an accident.”

“No, sweetie, I don’t mi-” Rosita begins quickly as to ease his nerves, but Johnny is already speed walking out of the house.

“Won’t ‘appen again!” He yells as he gets to the the door.

“It’s,” Johnny slams the door shut, “okay.” Rosita finishes to herself staring at the door with a blank face

Norman comes walking into the room with his briefcase in hand. “Did I just hear the door slam?” He asks

“Yeah,” Rosita says still looking at the door, “Johnny just left.”

“Oh,” Norman looks at the door than at Rosita, reading her blank expression, “what happened?” He asks another question.

This time Rosita slowly turns her head towards her husband, the faintest smile on her lips. “He called me mom.”

“Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.” Johnny berated himself as he hit the wheel multiple times as he drove towards Meena’s house desperately needing to leave.
He’s hoping that she wouldn’t mind him coming in earlier than expected, he parks on the otherside of the street and walks across to her house. He knocks three times and waits, he hears different voices conversing as they get closer to the door. The door swings open.

“I told you I’ll get the door, you worry too much!” The elephant says to the rest of the household behind him and turns around. Johnny freezes up, Meena’s grandfather, according to Meena, has always been kind of a hard head and pushy, so the nervousness of seeing the oldest elephant whenever he comes over is through the roof. When he turns around he looks down and see’s Johnny standing there, his face becomes bored and annoyed. “Oh, it’s you. Meena,” he starts to walk away, “it’s the Gorilla.” He calls out.

“Grandpa, be nice.” Meena scolds as he walks past her, when he’s out of sight Johnny relaxes, Meena turns towards Johnny and smiles. “Hey Johnny, I didn’t think you were coming over until later?” Meena asks.

“I, I um have to talk to you about something that happened.” He says nervously, looking up at Meena.

“Oh yeah, of course.” She says letting him in and closes the door behind him.

Meena had offered talking in her room, but feeling her grandfather burn holes into the back of his head after the question was asked, Johnny decided it was safer to just stay in the downstairs area instead. He followed Meena to the kitchen and watched as she began to bring out different mixing bowls and mixers, along with the ingredients needed for blueberry muffins.

“So,” Meena starts as she turns around to look at Johnny, who seems to be slumping a bit on the counter, “what did you want to talk about.”

“Well,” Johnny brings his hand to his neck, “I kind of called Rosita ‘Mum’ today.”

“Oh,” Meena stops, “and, what did she say.”

“I didn’t catch her response, I just got out of ‘here as fast as I could, I was so embarrassed.” Johnny groans out and covered his face with his hands.

“So you left, and you didn’t tell her where you were going?” Meena asks a little shocked.

“Oh, shit,” Johnny whispers to himself, “I didn’t.”

Meena looks at Johnny with a bit of disappointment, but looks back at everything in front of her and decides that he’s had a confusing enough day, that he didn’t need her scolding today.

“Come here and help.” She says over her shoulder to the gorilla, he looks at her for a moment before walking over, happy for the distraction.

Rosita has been mulling over what happened all day as she did her usual routine, although nothing was much of a distraction. Mom, a name she had gotten so used to, yet it still confused her to hear it. Maybe it was because it came from someone else’s mouth rather than her kids. She had a blank face on for most of the day while taking care of chores, except for the times for when she’d look at the clock and see what time it was, wondering and worrying even Johnny would be back. Soon the kids came home from school, they had dinner, then Norman came home, and it was getting late.

Meena sat on her bed watching Johnny pace around her room, Meena had finally convinced him that talking up stairs was a better idea due to her family wanting to be in her business all the time, but as Johnny followed her up he did happen to catch her grandfather’s death glare, which did not settle his nerves.

“Why don’t you just go talk to her? I think that’s the easiest solution.” Meena suggests, her eyes following Johnny.

“I don’t know, I just feel so awkward about it, why did i ‘ave to call ‘er mum in the first place.” Johnny sits down I. Meena’s desk chair and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

“Well, maybe because you think of her like that.” Johnny looks up confused, Meena continues. “Rositas been taking care of you and has been doing her ‘mom’ duty. This may sound personal, but did you know your mom?” Meena winces a bit at her question.

Johnny thinks a moment. “No, I’ve never met her.”

“Then Rositas taking place for her in your head, because of everything she’s done for you, make sense.” Meena states looking at Johnny waiting for his response.

“Yeah,” Johnny thinks back to all Rositas kindness, “yeah it does.” He smiles, but then checks his watch and almost jumps out his seat at seeing the time. “Oh shit, I’m late.” Johnny begins to grab his jacket and containers of muffins. “I’ll see ya later.” Johnny rushes out her bedroom door, before she could respond.

“See you-” Meena’s caught of by Johnny running back in and kissing her on the cheek.

“Thanks for everything.” Johnny smiles then rushes back out.

Meena sits there wide eyed and touches her cheek. “No problem.” She says to herself as she hears the door to the outside close and Johnny drive off.

It’s 11 o’clock, and Rosita sits at the kitchen table in her pajamas with a cup of coffee, that has gone cold sometime ago, in between her hands, she stares at her reflection, does she always look this tired.
Norman had told her that she should go to sleep and get some rest, he was a kid after all, who knows how long he’d be gone. Rosita refused though, what if he came home but lost his Keys or was hurt, she couldn’t just sleep thinking of that. Rosita nearly jumps when she hears a car pull into the driveway, she gets up immediately checking out the window to see it’s Johnny’s car. Not sure on what to do she just stands in the entry way waiting for Johnny to enter. She hears the keys jingle and the door opens slowly and lightly, she supposed as to not wake up anyone. Johnnys head pops in with the rest of his body as he turns to close the door trying to make it as quiet as possible with one hand, the other holds two containers, Rosita watches not making a sound. When Johnny turns around he nearly yelps, but jumps a bit at seeing Rosita standing there.

“Uh, hi,” he whispers, Rosita doesn’t say anything her arms crossed, “I made you guys blueberry muffins.” Johnny smiles a bit extending the containers out, he pulls them back in when she doesn’t respond.

“What time is it Johnny.” Rosita states more than asks.

“It’s eleven-”

“Eleven o’clock,” Rosita interrupts, “and I did not once get a call from you, nor any information as to where you were.” Her tone becoming strict, Johnny gulps. “For all I know you could’ve been lying face down in a ditch somewhere!” She whisper yells flinging her hands up in frustration. “You didn’t bring your phone with you, so when I tried calling you, your laundry was ringing! I need to be able to reach you, what if you get stuck somewhere and you need my help. Oh, that’s it,”Rosita stops short. “You’re grounded.” She says with a final tone.

“Grounded?” Johnny asks confused.

“Oh yeah buddy, 2 weeks, no 3.” Rosita points. “And just don’t think because you brought muffins you’re off the hook, no, you’re only allowed to go to practice and home, that and,” she’s cut off.

Johnny got to his knees and hugs Rosita, she’s not quite sure what to do, surprised by the sudden hug, Rosita stands there.

“Thank you for everything, you’ve been the best and only mum I’ve ever ‘ad.” Johnny squeeze sea her tighter.

Rosita begins to tear a bit, she hugs him back just as tightly. “I’m just glad that you’re happy.” She says.

“Am I not grounded anymore?” He asks, Rosita laughs a little bit.

“Not a chance.” Rosita smiles.

“Thought so.” Johnny whispers

“No problem.” She whispers back.

anonymous asked:

For the alphabet thing! A (allergies) Y (yellow) U (unkempt)

“Kyo? Honey? Snff.” Tohru scrunches her itchy nose, tries to will away an oncoming sneeze. “C-cad you…cad you hold the ba…the baby, I…hhh…!” 

Kyo swoops in and grabs snatches the baby out of his wife’s arms. “Got him! Are you okay?” He stares at her, eyebrows raised. 

“Y-yeah, I’b fide, I’b just goid to–ahhh…CHIEW! Hek-KIEW! Ah-SHIEW!” Sniffling furiously, she clamps her hands over her nose to contain the mucus streaming from it. Kyo tries to work out the gymnastics required to get her a tissue while the baby is trying to pull remove Kyo’s lips from his face. 

Tohru sneezes four more times, her hands firmly curved around her nose. Her hair comes loose from her braids with the force of them. Finally, Kyo manages to situate the baby such that he can use one of his hands, and he hands Tohru a handful of tissues. 

“Th-thadk you–hek-KIEW!” She blows her nose–it sounds like running water. 

“What the hell is making you sneeze so much?” asks Kyo, gently removing the baby’s hand from his mouth. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’b fide. Snff. It’s just um…you kdow those flowers Ayabe brought over earlier–I’b…hh…hhhEHH…ehCHIEW! ah-CHIEW! Allergic. Snff.” 

Kyo glances at the bouquet of yellow daffodils that Ayame had dramatically presented Tohru with earlier. “Why didn’t you say so?” he asks. “They’ve been in the house all day! Has this been happening all day?!”

“Ndo…well, a little, but I took sobe medicide. I thi…I thidk it wore offhhAHHCHIEW!” Tohru snaps forward so far with that sneeze that it looks like she’s bowing. “I’b okay,” she insists, despite the fact that her eyes are dripping with allergic tears, and her voice is so horrendously  congested that Kyo can barely understand her. 

He strides over to the flowers, takes them out of the vase, and walks toward the door. “I’m throwing these out,” he says. “You go wash your face and take a nap or something. I’ll watch the baby.” 

“No, K-kyo-kun, Ayabe gave be those! I cad’t throw theb out, he’ll be upset if he fides out–hhek-SHIEW!” By this point, Tohru’s pink nose is running so profusely that the one tissue Kyo gave her can’t keep up.

“If Ayame is actually such an asshole that he’d want you sneezing yourself into a coma just so he could gloat about having spent 1500 yen on you, I will personally beat him to a pulp!” 

Kyo realizes that he’s yelling, softens his voice for the sake of both his baby and his wife. “It’s okay for you to take care of yourself, Tohru. Please let me throw the flowers out. Ayame won’t mind, I promise.” 

After blowing her nose into the second tissue that Kyo hands her, Tohru agrees.

Oh shit, I hope everyone's having a happy 4th (for those who are celebrating it)!!

I completely forgot it was fireworks day, which has been happening off an on all day. <D Tbh, I’m not that big of a fan of the 4th of July and I don’t really celebrate it but I hope everyone who does is having a good one!

Dally Imagine:

“y/n I told you she cheated on me again ok? enough questions.” Dallas grumbled leaning against the Curtis fence

“It seems like more than that, usually you’re mad and don’t really care, but you’re acting weird Dal.” You pushed nervously twirling a piece of your hair between your fingers. 

No one pushed Dallas Winston ever, but you had known him for years and have got very close, you knew he would never hurt you.

“Well maybe there is more to it, why does it matter? quit buggin me” He snapped glaring slightly

“Ok, Sorry Dal.” you said defeated, he was stubborn and you knew when to back off. 

He gave you a slight smirk and jerked his head to the left, you hopped off the porch and followed him. You both walked to the park, stopped around town to talk to some other greasers he knew and just hung out. You still noticed the shift in his mood from earlier, it wasn’t like Dally to look…defeated. By the end of the day the curiosity was too much or you, you were worried about Dallas. It seemed you were always worried though, but only because you cared more than you should. Every time he got hauled in or got in a fight it affected you in a very strong way. You shivered slightly as the cool wind blew through you cotton tee-shirt.

“I still don’t understand why you don’t wear you jacket ever.” Dally chuckled slipping his denim jacket over you.

“Because its ugly, and makes me look ugly.” You said scrunching your nose. You hated your worn leather jacket, it faded to a gross brown/blue colour and had holes and threads everywhere.

“Nothing could make you ugly, trust me y/n” he said grinning at you. You couldn’t help but blush and smile up at him. You furrowed your brow as his smile faded into a frown, this has been happening all day long.

“Dallas please tell me whats wrong, I know its not about Sylvia cheating so don’t even try it.” You said stopping in your tracks,

“Why do you want to know so bad? Man you don’t leave things do ya?” he said facing you

“Dally, I push cause I care ok?” You mumbled to the ground,

“You what?” He asked putting a hand gently on your forearm

“I care about you Dally, more than I should I know that, But I can’t help it.” You admitted feeling your cheeks burn as your stomach began creating knots.

“I broke up with Sylvia yes cause she cheated, but the main reason was because I really dig this other chick. I never thought she would dig me back, but you do y/n.” He said lightly tracing his fingers over your cheeks.

You finally got the courage to look into his eyes and you just smiled. He smiled back at you as he leaned in and placed his lips on yours. You had wanted to kiss Dally since you met him, but there was always that voice in your head telling you how dangerous The Dallas Winston was, but you weren’t kissing The Dallas Winston, you were kissing Dally, just Dally.