“My very first kiss was lonely, cold and meaningless. I was young and he made me feel wanted, I guess at the time that’s exactly what I needed. He meant nothing to me. The taste of him burned in my mouth for days, he tasted like loneliness and shame. He took advantage of me; and I let him
My second kiss was with my very first boyfriend. I was nervous, and the kiss was sloppy. He dumped me three days later for another girl. I gave him another chance because I thought that he could change. But the sad reality is people don’t change. We broke up a week later.
My third kiss was with you. It was sweet, gentle and unlike anything I had ever experienced. You kissed me after telling me that I deserved better than my ex. You were older than me, you shouldn’t have kissed me. It was wrong, but oh god it felt so right. You lit something inside me that day and I’m not sure it’ll ever go out.
My fourth kiss was later that year. I was drunk and I don’t even remember his name, all I remember is the taste of cheap vodka and desperation.
My fifth kiss was a hookup at a party. He tasted like beer and weed. It was sloppy but it made me feel something during a time I thought I would never feel anything again. We dated for 4 months, and I may not have loved him but oh god did it hurt when he left. He broke me, and he never even cared.
My sixth kiss was to get over my fifth. I just kissed him to feel wanted, being with him made me feel a bit less lonely. He wasn’t good at it, and he could’ve never fixed me like you could’ve.
Me seventh kiss was with you again. We were drunk and we swore we’d never do it again.
My eighth kiss was a hookup. He had a girlfriend and it felt wrong. He told me he’d call. He never did.
My ninth kiss was also with you. We had sworn we would never do it again but being together had always felt right. That night was the night I realized that you’re the one I’ve always truly wanted. The moment you pressed your lips to mine I knew it was you. I wanted you and only you. I accepted that you are going to break my heart, there’s no turning back now, and somehow I think I’m okay with that.”
— Darling, you’re the only one who’s ever mattered.
submitted by: blackisgoodforthesoul