Okay so I was in the school cafeteria watching Cartoon Network on one of the TVs and they played The Return, that Steven Universe episode where all the shit goes down: The homeworld gems invade, Beach City is forced to evacuate, Garnet is friggin torn in half, all the gems are taken hostage on the homeworld gems’ ship, and Steven is knocked unconscious!

So I decide to stick around and watch Jailbreak, because CN said there was another Steven Universe episode next and you can’t just stop watching after that.

But then they start playing The Test, an episode from earlier in the season! What the Hell man! That ain’t right! If you’re gonna air The Return then you have to air Jailbreak right after!

Jeez… Just imagine being a little kid watching this for the first time. All this shit goes down and it looks like Garnet has been destroyed in front of your very eyes, and Steven has been beaten by the big scary bad guy, and it looks like all hope is lost and then…

The next episode starts with Steven and the gems playing a board game.





Did you hear a sonic boom in the sky? In honor of our new episode tonight, the Steven Crewniverse shared…


I can’t wait for it to crash into the hill next to the temple. And by “the hill next to the temple” I mean “my mouth”!

Thanks for watching everybody! Come back tomorrow for “Full Disclosure”!

(food preparation: the amazing Christy Cohen!!!!)

OH MY GOD/ “Defective Pearl” thought

OKAY so, Jailbreak was AMAZING/ again SO MUCH happened in that episode that is worth discussing. BUT, something in particular caught my attention and had me wondering. 

Jasper says the following insults upon arriving in Beach City:

“Some lost, defective pearl”

“A puny, overcooked runt,” 

NOW. Amethyst has a possible explanation for Jasper’s insult, which can be found here.

But what about Pearl?

‘Defective’ is pretty harsh. But if we assume the reasoning behind Jasper’s words at Amethyst are correct, then Jasper is probably hinting at something…And the potential answer smacked me in the face when I was reading up on pearls and other gemstones.

I found the following (courtesy of wikipedia of course)

“The ideal pearl is perfectly round and smooth, but many other shapes (baroque pearls) occur. The finest quality natural pearls have been highly valued as gemstones and objects of beauty for many centuries.” 


“The ideal pearl is perfectly round and smooth,”

Okay…so a ‘perfect’ pearl looks like this/ should look like the following to be given that classification: 

….Perfectly round and smooth. Cool, it looks pretty sweet-…but wait, Pearl’s gemstone doesn’t look like this


many other shapes (baroque pearls) occur

And Additionally:

Pearl’s particular shape (though stylized for cartoon purposes I totally understand) isn’t even on this chart. If I had to call it, I’d say her gemstone most resembles a baroque pearl… 

But what is the definition of a baroque pearl? 

Baroque pearls are pearls with an irregular non-spherical shape. Shapes can range from minor aberrations to distinctly ovoid, curved, pinch, or lumpy shapes.”

So…those pearls aren’t considered to be as nice, or valuable as a perfect, more rounded pearl is…

“The finest quality natural pearls have been highly valued as gemstones and objects of beauty

And Jasper called her defective….

PLUS when you apply this possibility to her character, it makes sense?? 

She insists on things being symmetrical and everything being organised in the most efficient manner possible, she LOVES being right or in the right, and in Coach Steven we see one of her greatest insecurities is not being strong enough…not being good enough.

….Oh Pearl…;A;

(I could TOTALLY be wrong on this of course, but food for thought??)