replied to your post “Does anyone else have a specific mental image in their head when they…”
“White cis man” summons a fedora’d neckbearded guy for me, which is an association I hate on so many levels (associating appearance with politics, all white men with vitriolic Nice Guys, etc.) I don’t like that this is my go-to image. Thanks SJ :(
Yeah. I’ve noticed that since SJ I find myself kind of… pausing with curiosity when a man says something clever or cool. Like there’s this moment of uncertainty in my mind where I have to make sure there is no second meaning to what he said because of his pronoun, or something. I hate that I do that. So much.
Relatedly, my image of “cis gay man” (when used in a particular sneery way) is Dan Savage.
Who I used to think was irreverent in a particular way and that was his schtick, and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t, but a schtick is a schtick so whatever.
And he’s where I first heard that being “GGG” was a possible virtue – that maybe me asking for weird kinky stuff wasn’t the end of the world, and maybe it would all be okay because maybe I wasn’t imposing that much.
And who, when he got a bit older and more responsible, tried to pay it forward by getting a huge critical mass of adult gay and trans people to say “For a lot of us, becoming more independent as we become adults saves our lives. We’re here, we’re waiting, and we love you.”
Where now, even though my actual opinion of him is pretty much the same (other than a couple “wow shit that really was bad, dude, no”s), my mental picture of him is as an eternally angry-browed meanie who is trying to deny the pain of queer youth because he thinks mean stuff is funny.
Ugh, thanks, SJ.