THATS NOT EVEN HER LAST NAME i think YOU PIECE OF SHIT

anonymous asked:

Hi! Can we get the RFA trying to comfort an MC who feels inadequate joining the RFA because everyone's so accomplished in there (either rich, a genius, or talented tbh) and she was just kind of thrown in because of Unknown? I'm sorry if that's oddly specific, but I just had that thought earlier and I love your scenarios/imagines. Thanks~!!!

i’m such a huge piece of shit for taking this long. i have over 60 requests. i suck ass. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry but like i have other stuff i need to do and inspiration just doesn’t come and it would turn out really shitty otherwise. oH, and thank you so much! and also, it was kind of easy to write this since i can kind of relate. i’ve been feeling like that lately.


Two days ago, the entire RFA attended an interview since the association started getting more and more attention with each passing day. Your actions not going unnoticed by the world, so it was only natural for the world to want to know more about all of you.

You were ecstatic about the interview.

They started with Jumin, CEO of C&R International, who was followed by Zen, renowned and incredibly talented actor, then Jaehee, (was/is) head assistant at C&R International and an incredibly hard working woman. After her, they started interviewing Yoosung, who was now an incredible student at one of the most prestigious universities in Korea and who had an extremely bright future. 

Seven decided not to take part in the interview for security reasons, but he was a genius and the brains behind the app and security of the organization. But everyone knew he was essential to the RFA. 

Finally, it was your turn to be interviewed. You had the possible answers for the interview well-rehearsed thanks to Zen. Everyone had done an amazing job which only made you strive for perfection.

How did you join the RFA?”

“What do you do for the organization?”

“Is it true that you took the last Coordinator’s place?”

“Do you think you’re living up to the last Coordinator’s prestigious reputation?”

You noticed that the questions started getting harsher and harsher, and it wasn’t until some technical difficulties with the lights and sound, that the interview came to an end.

You were sure Seven had something to do with it. 

Your friends and lover weren’t dumb, they noticed the anxiety that soon started suffocating you thanks to your body language. Zen was the first one to notice, so when the interviewer asked if they could continue the interview elsewhere, he intervened and told her in his ever-charming way that they were unable to stay any longer. 

It didn’t surprise you when the interviewer and the producers decided to call it a day.

You were finally home. Everyone was gone because they all had work to do and you conveniently had a day off.

Sitting on the couch, you started going over the interview and it suddenly hit you.

You weren’t worthy of being in the RFA.

There was a sudden tightness around your throat as the fact that the only reason you joined was because you had to. That the only reason you were part of this amazing organization was because you had been dumb enough to listen to a stranger and go deliver a phone that wasn’t even yours. The only thing you did was put yourself and the entire organization at risk.

You were not special.

You were nothing.

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The Painter’s Muse

OMG ANON THANK YOU! I always love getting requests, they’re so fun. I hope you like it anon! Tbh, I never considered writing a Minghao imagine, but I like how it ended up(:

Originally posted by mountean

Pairing: Minghao/Reader

Genre: Soulmate!AU

Summary: You’ve sworn you seen the girl in the painting, staring contently at you, you just don’t remember ever posing for the picture centuries before. 

Author’s note: I never really thought of writing a soulmate AU, but I decided that a reincarnation one was the only one that makes sense. I read soulmate AU’s a lot, and I love them, it’s just sometimes things don’t add up. Thats why Minghao’s names are different in his past life times, because I feel like that makes the most sense, also I just FINISHED GOBLIN. Which plays with the same idea and I will forever be obsessed with the grim reaper and sunny. THEY WERE SO DAMN CUTE. Someone hold me, I’m still recovering from the drama. 

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It’s not what it looks like. // SHAWN MENDES

Overview: Y/n goes to the bakery to pick up muffins for Shawn but she sees him there with another woman on a date- she confronts the issue

Requested: no


My heart thudded in my chest, my hands trembling, as I watched them walk into the little bakery on main street that made Shawn’s favorite muffins. I was supposed to be at work but I left earlier than usual to go to that same bakery to buy some muffins for Shawn. What I did not expect however, was to see him in the store at the same time as me. Nor was I expecting him to have a girl on his arm.

I felt sick as I neared the small, cozy, bakery, peeking into the windows. I watched them walk up to counter, Shawn’s arm around her shoulders the whole time. She was beautiful. Long, blonde hair that fell in waves down her back and she had an amazing smile. Bitterness flowed through me as I watched that smile appear from something Shawn whispered in her ear.

He kissed her forehead gently, just like he did to me this morning when he told me he was going to be at work all day until 7. He points to the muffins, his favorite blueberry ones, as he orders and then they both go take a seat in the corner, her back to me and Shawn facing me however he never once notices me standing near the window. 

I felt like I was being torn in two as I observed the way he looked at her. His eyes were filled with admiration and an emotion so strong it wouldn’t in inaccurate to call it love. I wanted to scream. To storm in there and ask him what the heck he thought he was doing. A 2 year relationship to end like this just because he couldn’t man up and break up with me.

A waitress walks over and sets one muffin and two drinks on the table, Shawn immediately splitting the muffin between them. I had the urge to hit someone when I saw Shawn feed her a piece of muffin. He laughs at something, leaning in and kissing her.

“Do you want to come in deary?” A voice tears me away from my current boyfriend lip locking with another women. I look over my shoulder to see an older lady about to walk into the bakery with her arms carrying bags of food. 

“Oh sorry, yeah, I’m craving one of those blueberry muffins,” I say, my eyes watering slightly and my bottom lip trembles.

Her eyes slide past me to where Shawn still sits with his lady friend. She has seen us enough times from when we used to eat here, to know that something was wrong.

“Come on, the muffin is on the house,” she says gently, moving the bags to one arm and wrapping her right arm around me, rubbing my back.

The bell dings when we walk inside and my hands shake uncontrollably from nerves. The smell of coffee and baked goods engulfs us and I let out a sign, never once looking in their direction.

“I’ll get you that muffin, sweetie- give me a minute. Jenny can you please put one blueberry muffing in the microwave to heat up while I put the bags away?” she asks the younger girl behind the counter.

I finally loose patience and look over to where they sit to see if they’ve noticed the unexpected company. They still look as engaged as each other as before, maybe even more. The blonde holds Shawn’s hand, stroking his thumb softly and he nods at something she’s saying, taking a sip of his coffee. His eyes drift off and lay on me. Shit, I see him mumble and he abruptly stands up.

“Here, sweetie,” The lady hands me a bag holding the warm muffin.

“Thank you so much for this,” I try to say strongly but my voice wavers. 

Her eyes flick to Shawn who I can faintly hear him whispering to her. “He’s not worth it,” she pats my hand and I try to smile when inside I’m barely holding on. 

“Thanks,” I whisper, rushing out the bakery, planning to go straight home.

I’m halfway down the street when I finally hear him calling my name. 

“Y/n wait, please,” Shawn calls and I turn to face him.

“Oh Shawn! Hey, didn’t think you were going to come see me. You know, your girlfriend. Oh wait. Thats not me anymore is it?” I say sarcastically, anger coming off me in waves.

“I swear, it’s not what it looks like,” Shawn says, trying to salvage what ever this relationship was anymore.

“Oh bullshit Shawn! You’ve known it and I- well I defiantly know it now, but our relationship is over. I expect your bags packed and you out of my house by tomorrow morning. Whatever’s left I’m giving to charity or the trash,” I roll my eyes at the hurt look on his face. Oh sure, cheat on me and act like you’re the victim.

“Y/n, please can we try to work this-” Shawn pleads.

“Just stop Shawn,” I cut him off, speaking as calmly as I could. “You’re embarrassing yourself now. Go be with whoever that lady was. I’m letting you go,” I shrug my shoulders, trying my best to keep the tears in.

“But I don’t want you to let me go, I love you!” He begs, grabbing my hand. 

I laugh, “Please. I hope she was worth it,” with that I rip my hand out of his, the hand that held me in his arms just last night and just minutes ago was holding another’s. I turn away, leaving Shawn who desperately calls my name as if that would make me come back. I never once looked back.

Originally posted by thugshawn

Bts reaction to you thinking you were talking to your friend

A/N: Sorry for not posting for a very long time and really  I don’t have excuses. Sooo yeaah… I blame my laziness. Thank you all for waiting for me though. I really like you all. You’re so cute. I hope you enjoy this one.


Scene: here is the thing. When you’re talkikg to a friend and suddenly your friends stops walking because he or she sees something but you don’t notice and keep talking. We all had this once right? :p

Seokjin:
“No thats not it. Yeah the strawberry one was good but I really think we should take the carrot cake. So please let’s get the carrot cake” you begged and laid your head on her shoulder for extra persuading. But once your head didn’t reach her shoulder and you were sure she didn’t wear men perfume, you jumped away and lifted your eyes. You’ve got to be kidding me! You mentally facepalmed yourself. Kim Seokjin? Really? Of all the people, him? “I’m so sorry! I thought you were my friend. This looks so weird. I’m sorry.” You apologized over and over. “ It’s okay. I Figured.” Jin laughed and patted you on your shoulder. “I think you’re right though” you looked at him weirdly. “Right about what?” You responded. “The cake ofcourse. Carrot is the best. Please enjoy it! And eat a piece for me too.” You both laughed at this and you stuck your thump up. “Seokjin Fighting!” Was the last thing you said and ran over to your friend.

Originally posted by jjilljj

Yoongi

“Uhm. What are you doing?” You heard a deep voice next to you. “Woaaa f/n! How do you do that??” “I’m not f/n?” You heard it again. Okay maybe you should see what is going on? “Oh my. You’re not my friend!” You said and held your hands infront of your mouth, shock written all over your face “well this is embarassing” you laughed and bowed in apology. “I’m sorry” “aaah it’s okay. You made waiting a little less boring’’ he smiled. You blushed at the sight. “’Didn’t you mistake a person once for your friend?’’ you asked him, hoping your cheeks would regain their color. ‘’No I have not’’ he immediatly answered, looking at you with a straight face. Taken aback with his quick answer, you clasped your hands together and stood up. “I.. I think.. I should go look for my friend. Stay healthy!’‘ ‘’I was just joking. Who did not mistake a stranger for their friend? People who tell you that are lying.’’ He laughed. ‘’I know exactly how you feel so don’t be embarrased and as I said earlier, you made waiting less boring.’’ You couldn’t help but blush again and smiled at the ground. ‘’Well I really think I should look for my friend. I will cheer you guys on and stay happy and healthy yeah? Bye bye!’’ you waved at him and before you turned around you caught a glimpse of his heartmelting smile. 

Originally posted by parkjiminer

Hoseok:

‘’You know I hate that. I mean if people are looking at you I automatically say hi, but what pisses me off is that they turn their heads without a smile or something. Come on! you were looking at me first, just a slight smile is enough. You don’t have to greet me back if you don’t feel comfortable but a smile can, right?’’ You were ranting towards your friend about the frustration you felt at the subway this morning. ‘’Yeah I know I am not Korean but why stare? If you don’t want me to notice you staring, you actually should greet me first to make it seem like you weren’t staring.’’ You sighed. ‘’I totally, 100 % agree with you.’’ A man’s voice answered you back. Whippig your head to your side in confusing you made the discovery you have been ranting to a total stranger. You were already horrified, but once you recognized his features your eyes widened and a groan left your mouth. You faced the ceiling and literally facepalmed yourself. ‘’Aahaaa haha I am so sorry. I’m sorry you had to hear me rant about, you know. ‘’ You awkwardly laughed and apologized as you kept bowing in apology. ‘’No it’s okay. It was actually fun.’’ you looked at him confused. ‘’Fun?’’ you questioned. ‘’Aah I mean, it was refreshing, Most of the time the conversations are about me If I meet people but it was nice to hear a stranger rant.’’ He laughed while he had grabbed your hand and motioned for you to sit down. ‘’Well keep on going. I have to wait another fifteen minutes, so you can rant all you want until then.’’

Originally posted by hoseokxx

Namjoon:

‘’When you think about it, it is actually weird. In english you call a mandarin a mandarin and I mean the fruit. But Mandarin is also a language in China. Also here in Korea you have a lot of people with the last name Kim right. But where I come from Kim is not a last name but someone is actually called Kim. So I have been thinking what if a Kim is going to marry a Korean with the last name Kim? Would her full name be Kim Kim?’ That would be pretty funny.’’ you laughed, slapping your friend on her arm several times but you instantly stopped once you heard her laughing. well her would not be the right term. It would be a him. Looking up towards the source where the laugh was coming from, the wheels in your head started working when you realized you slapped Kim Namjoon’s arm. Several times might you add. Now since he seems strong you were sure it did not hurt him, heck you weren’t even hitting hard but still. If people had been filming this, this will be on the internet and people will assume you were hitting Namjoon for the wrong reasons. ‘’Well shit’’ you spoke loudly. Before you could apologize, he was already talking. ‘’Don’t you dare to apologize. I already figured it out you thought you were talking to someone else.’’ He chuckled  ‘’Why didn’t you say anything when you heard me talking.’’ You whined. He could have saved you the  embarrassment. ‘’At first I was going to tell you but once you started on the mandarin story I actually was thinking about it too and when you started with ‘Kim’ I couldn’t help but laugh to. I think it would be better if people first call her ladiesname and then her husbands.’’ He smiled. ‘’Yeah, thats a solution. eventhough it’s a bit funny, if you really love him you wouldn’t really care right?’’ You smiled aswell. Namjoon made you feel at ease and he laughed your embarrassment away.  ‘’It was nice meeting you. But I really think I should go. you know looking for my friend before she is going to report me as a missing person. Keep up the good work but don’t forget to take breaks. Army’s rather see you healty and happy and a bit less than seeing you guys everyday on tv, tired and injured.’’

Originally posted by baebsaes

Jimin:

You really really really wanted this book and since your friend needed a book for her essay she tacked along but once you stepped inside the store, you wanted to turn around and leave but unfortanutely for you, your friend stopped you and dragged you further inside. ‘’Can you let go please I’m bumping into a lot of people and they’re shooting me really really dark looks.’’ You complained as you once again winced when the girl you bumped into shot you a dirty look. ‘’I’m sorry but I really need this book for my essay and if we leave right now and come back in a couple of hours who knows if that book is still there. I am really sorry, I know you hate crowds, but I won’t leave your side, I will grab the book, pay for it and we will leave immediately after okay?’’She explained. ‘’’Fine but please hurry, I am already not feeling well.’’ you closed your eyes to try to calm down but when you felt your friends her hand leave yours, your eyes shot open, desperately looking for her again. ‘’Okay I am outta here.’’ turning around you tried to get to the entrance in the sea of people. Well a sea of women. ‘’I’m sorry can I get through?’’ you asked the girl who did not move an inch when you tried to get past her. ‘’No! You will have to wait till its your turn.’’ she snapped. ‘’My turn? No no no, I just want to get out of here. Get out of this freaking store?’’ You were already panicked and felt suffocated, but once this girl was just right out refusing to let you get past, plus that she was cursing at you under her breath, ticked you off. You really really wanted to get out of this store, because you already felt how your breathing became harder and people seemed to get closer and closer to you. Before you could scream, a hand circled your wrist and led you through the crowd. ‘’Seriously f/n.. You told me you wouldn’t let go of my hand.’’ you angrily spoke, letting your friend drag you out of the store since your vision was blurry from the tears. ‘’Sometimes I really don’t like you.’’ you confessed when the fresh air of outside hit your face. ‘’You don’t?’’ An unfamiliar voice asked. Your eyes traveled upwards and when they landed on his face everything seemed to click. Pointing a finger at him in understanding you said ‘’No shit this store was filled with people. Because you were there. Aaaah now I get it.’’ ‘’I’m sorry.’’ Jimin spoke softly. ‘’Sorry? No need to be sorry it’s not like you want people to follow you everywhere. it’s not your fault. Besides it’s my friends fault’’ you laughed. ‘’I just get like this in busy crowds. I just need a lot of space around me to feel comfortable.’’ You smiled at him and he gave you one in return. ‘’It’s okay, thank you for saving me.’’ you grinned while giving him a playful shove on his shoulder. 

Originally posted by morekpopmore

Taehyung:

‘’Aah love? You know I never have been in love right so I really can’t describe it to you but I think that if you look at that person and you can feel your heart melting, I think it feels like nice warm water sliding down your heart. I think thats when you know you’re in love. I mean I feel like this when I look at my dog. He is so cute I just… ughh!’’ You giggled. ‘’Yeah I know I know what you’re going to say loving your dog is different than loving a person but is it really? You would want your dog to be happy right? All you want to do is cuddle the fluffball and kiss it on the nose.  You would want your dog to be happy and comfortable eventhough you’re not comfortable as long as he is comfortable. You just can’t imagine leaving your dog behind without breaking your heart. Love is love.’’ Once you were done talking about love or well your dog, you did not expect this kind of reaction. Why was your friend clapping? Did she agree? That was not possible, she is always telling you that love for your pet is different than love for a man. So you looked at your friend to see your friend turned into a male. A cute male though. You kept looking at him, you could not look away for two reasons. reason 1: you told a stranger about your love for your dog. Fine maybe just a slight obession for your dog and reason number two was that he was very handsome and that you figured it out why he seemed familiar. ‘’Hi?’’ You greeted him hesitantly. ‘’Hello!’’ He greeted you back cheerfully, shaking your hand fast. ‘’I am Taehyung.’’ He smiled and let go of your hand. ‘’I think you are right. You want your dog to be happy and comfortable around you, you want to cuddle him allday long if you could. Shouldn’t that be with your favorite person too? Wanting her to be happy and comfortable around you. To kiss and cuddle her every chance you get? It makes sense. Totally makes sense.’’  

‘’Right? Right? That’s what I am telling her but she just doesn’t believe me. But I am happy I found someone who also thinks like that.’’ you smiled and laughed out of joy. ‘’Thank you Taehyung-shi. Thank you. You made my day.’’ This time he gave you his famous smile and patted your shoulder. ‘’ I should thank you. Now I know when I’m in love and thank you for keeping me company while I am waiting for my friend.’’ ‘’ I am waiting too. Do you want to see my cute dog?’’ You asked him, fishing your phone out of your pocket. ‘’Really? Can I? wait. you should see my cutie too.’’

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Jeongguk:

‘’No I tell you oversized shirts are the best. Skinny jeans and a oversized shirt on top are the best. And you can finish it very cooly with a leather jacket. You know I love to eat and If I were a tigh shirt and I know I am going to eat lots there is a chance that your tummy will stick out a bit if you ate to much. That’s not comfortable at all. So oversized shirts are the best. If I am wearin a tight shirt I really don’t feel comfortable and you know that. The first thing I do when I get home is get out of that shirt and slip on those comfortable loose fitting shirts. It feels nice and trendy at the same time so please stop convincing me. I know what I like. And know let’s go home we have been for over 2 hours already. I am getting tired and hungry. I know it’s weird that I don’t like shopping but I am more of a person who grabs what she needs, pays for it and leaves.’’ Just when you were about to link your arms together you felt her flinch and you hears a gasp. ‘’You don’t have to be angry just because I like oversized shirts.’’ 

‘’I agree with the oversized shirts but I don’t think I know you well enough to eat with you.’’  A soft male voice left her mouth. You raised one eyebrow in confusion so you turned your head to meet eyes with Jeon Jeongguk. ‘’I’m pretty sure I was walking next to my friend couple of minutes ago.’’ You told him, actually you told yourself that. He just smiled at you. ‘’I’m sorry I bored you with my story.’’ you laughed when the situation sunk in. ‘’And I’m sorry for disturbing your shopping. I really thought I was talking to my friend.’’ ‘’It’s fine. It happened to all of us once.’’ this time he chuckled and grinned at you. ‘’I should go back to my friend. Once again I am sorry. Enjoy your free time.’’ bowing at him, you turned around and made your way towards the store you passed by while talking to your ‘friend’. She must have been distracted by the pink shirt she saw in the window of the shop. ‘’Keep wearing oversized shirts!’’ Jungkook’s voice made you stop in your steps, turning around you saw him holding his thump up. you could not help but laugh as you held yours up too.

Originally posted by classybts

Birthday Boy

Birthday Boy

Sebastian Stan

Sorry about the shitty quality and possible abundant amount of spelling mistakes, I’m on mobile and I cannot stand it. But happy birthday to my baby❤️❤️

warnings; unprotected sex, oral sex, use of toys, Sebastian (need I say more)

It was one of THOSE days.

The type of day where he could jerk himself ten times in a row and still be left with a throbbing erection between his legs. The type of day where nothing could satisfy his insatiable need to bury his cock in a warm, wet place.

Sebastian thinks that it’s most likely due to the excitement thats pulsating throughout his entire body. That excitement was produced from the ability, after six whole months, to see his girl.

The little break from filming for his birthday had Seb’s mind mulling over how many different ways Y/N would let him ruin her this year. And shit, he’s not sure how she’ll outdo herself from last year because Sebastian swears he never recovered.

She was addictive, so much in fact that nearly every other sentence that fell from his mouth had something to do with her. Y/N was his entire world, the one piece that kept everything in order.

Sebastian never knew that a girl could run his life this much, but then he met Y/N and found that he was completely, entirely wrong. 

It seemed as though everything this girl did either brought a smile to Seb’s face or a rush of blood to his cock (but honestly, usually both happened). Sometimes he’s shocked that after three years together she could still have this affect on him.

So yes, it was one of those days.. but Sebastian was going to see his girl and that was all that mattered. He could ignore his pulsing cock as long as he kept his thoughts trained on anything but her, which ended up being the hardest to do.

He spent his entire flight home thinking about her with his legs crossed enough to cover his hardened cock. He thought about her body and how many ways she could bend her legs. About how good she tasted when he would go down on her. About how fucking amazing those little whimpers she made were.

Fuck, she was amazing.

Sebastian swore his cock pulsed when he pressed the house key into the lock. He though back to the day they bought the house - how she sucked him off in the bathroom as the agent was downstairs waiting for them to sign papers.

Yeah, his girl was pretty great.

Unlocking the door, he pushes it open with his shoulder. Dropping his bags on the floor, Sebastian peers around the seemingly empty house.

She has to be home..right? She knew he was coming home today, she obviously remembered his birthday from the racy pictures she sent him this morning..so where was she?

Sebastian can’t tell if he’s more upset that she wasn’t greeting him at the door or that she hadn’t planned some ‘welcome home’ blowjob for him.

He knew what he was getting himself into when he took his latest role, he knew how long he’d be away but, that didn’t excuse the fact that he’s been away six months and his girlfriend’s pussy is no where in sight.

It wasn’t a dry spell per say, more of a forced one. Six months without so much as touching his girls skin was more than enough to drive Sebastian absolutely crazy.

6 months since he’s seen her in person. 6 months since he’s seen her tits or her glistening pussy in front of him. 6 months since he’s absolutely devoured her heat while his fingers dug deep inside of her as she elicited sweet sighs and honeyed moans. 6 months since she’s screamed his name with his cock deep inside of her. 6 months of torture and she wasn’t even there to greet him at the fucking door.

He knows it’s because of his career, it drives them apart whenever he’s forced to go away to film. He knows it’s unfair to her when he leaves. But shit, he thinks it’s quite unfair for her to not be at that fucking door.

And because she wasn’t at the door, Sebastian can’t help but feel his ego deflate a bit. He’s faced with the glaring realization that she isn’t greedy for his cock at the moment, that she might not even want his dick near her.

While Sebastian knew she was a busy little bumblebee these days, what with her continuous job promotions and increasing social life, he couldn’t help but feel almost forgotten.

Maybe Y/N had gone out with her new friends and simply forgot that Sebastian would be home today?

His thoughts are cut off by the small pitter-patter of feet upstairs. “Seb!” Her succulent voice squeals as she rushes down the stairs.

He’s so absolutely ecstatic to see her that he almost forgets about the bags in his arms. He drops them, opening his arms wide to catch his speedy little girlfriend.

He’s never seen her run so fast in her entire life, so by the time she clashes into his chest it’s more of a sharp push than a thud. Sebastian doesn’t mind though, seeing as she has her legs around his waist and her face in his neck.

“Hey baby.” He hums, pressing his hands to her lower back to pull her flush into his chest. She mumbles a hello into his skin, pressing her lips down.

His hands run down her back and - wait..silk?

Sebastian moves his head out a bit so he can look down at her attire. It’s a lacy little number that (barely) covers her breasts and does absolutely nothing to cover her plump ass.

He’s so focused on her tight nipples that push through the thin silk, that he doesn’t even realize her lips have traveled to his jawline until he feels her nip at him.

“Happy birthday.” She smirks, pulling away to look at him. She brushes her fingers across his light stubble, giving him an approving look.

She always did like some scruff.

“Did you get all dressed up for me?” He grins, scrunching her hip between his fingers.

Y/N rolls her eyes, shrugging. “More for my suitor upstairs but I guess I’ll let you think it’s all for you.” She teases.

Sebastian nods, hiking her body up his hips more. “Well clearly your suitors doing a horrible job considering this little things still intact.” He plays with her Babydoll, looking at her plump lips.

“You’re the only guy id ever allow to rip this, Seb.” She sighs, running her fingers through his shorter hair. “I missed you, so fucking much.” She mumbles into his neck, burrowing into his skin.

“I missed you more doll.” He grins, wrapping a hand around her waist as his other arm reaches down to grab one of his bags.

Sebastian moves up the stairs, but not before he eyes the kitchen table. They hadn’t had hot table sex in a long time - maybe tonight?

“How’s that Alexa girl, or whatever her damn name is?” Y/N snickers from his shoulder, a certain anger in her voice that sends a smile to Seb’s face.

“Her names Alessia,” He chuckles, squeezing her to him. “And she’s good. She wanted me to tell you she says hello.”

Y/N huffs. “Yeah, I bet she did.”

“I don’t see why you’re so jealous of her.”

“Maybe because she gets to see you everyday while you film and kiss you and do whatever the fuck the director wants.”

Sebastian sighs, kicking the bedroom slow open. “It was one kiss for a single scene. I don’t have to kiss her ever again.” He says, finding her jealousy funny.

“Wow, I bet that broke her heart. Huh?” Y/N shifts closer to Seb, circling her arms tighter around his shoulders. “I don’t want to talk about her anymore.”

“You’re the one who brought her up.” Sebastian chuckles, brushing some of his hair from his face.

Nodding, Y/N pulls back. “Yeah but now I want to fuck you. So do you want to keep talking about her or do you want to have your cock in my mouth?”

“Well obviously I want the second option.” Sebastian grins, pressing a kiss to her lips. Of course Sebastian likes to prod her on her jealousy. It’s a natural occurrence in their multi-year relationship.

He drops her onto the bed, falling on top of her smaller frame. She doesn’t remove herself from being wrapped around him, her ankles crossing behind his back.

His arms reach around to the small of her back and pulls her hips closer. He pokes his tongue out and presses it to the line of hers, requesting for her to open her mouth.

They haven’t kissed in forever and in all honesty, Sebastian was really feeling it before he came home.

He’s rapidly stiffening in his pants and he knows she can feel his cock on her lower belly. They continue to lick into each other’s mouths while their hands roam everywhere: Sebastian’s slide under her Babydoll to brush her skin; hers knit into his hair and pull.

He grips the side of her neck and pulls her closer, lips scrunching and teeth knocking together in an almost sickly kiss. Sebastian follows her down onto the bed, loving the way her body falls slack against his.

“I love you.” He mutters into her mouth, breathing hot air. “So fucking much. Missed you, fuck.”

They break apart and press their foreheads together. “I love you more.” She replies.

Enough sweet talk, Sebastian thinks. He wants to get right down to business after this six month long hell he’s lived.

She rolls her hips up into his, greedy for some type of friction. It was downright sexy, a carnal throb pulses in his pants at the slight brush.

“S'been too long since I had my cock in you.” Sebastian slurs, the need for pleasure taking over his body. “Gonna take care of you baby.”

She nods up at him, silently pleading for him to just ravish her in any way he liked. His birthday was always one of experimentation.

“So baby,” He draws, lacing his fingers around her thighs. “What have you been using to get off since I’ve been gone? Your fingers?”

She shakes her head and Sebastian cocks an eyebrow. “Something else..” She mumbles, leaning up to kiss him again.

“Well get on with it then, what is it?” Sebastian pries, nudging his cock along her lace covered heat.

Y/N sits for a moment, drumming her fingers on his back. “Bought a vibrator. A good investment honestly.”

Sebastian’s shocked at her confession. In all the years he’d known Y/N she had never once discussed any type of sex toy unless she was joking around.

And here she is, his sweet little Y/N — who blushes at the fact his balls have been in her mouth one more than one occasion — admitting that she bought a vibrator to get herself off.

“Did it get you off as well as I can?” Sebastian hums, hoping to inflate his ego further.

She shakes her head, tugging at his shirt. “Nothing gets me off as good as you. But it did get the job done.”

“How about we break it out, huh?”

Y/N nods and pulls harder at Sebastian’s shirt, trying to get him to take it off. He pulls away from her and tugs his shirt over his head, tossing it somewhere in the corner of the room.

“It’s in the nightstand.” She says, dragging a hand through his dark locks. “You know, I miss the long hair.”

Sebastian leans over her to the nightstand, pulling open the first drawer. “And whys that?”

“Gave me something to pull on whenever you went down on me. Plus Winter Soldier Seb was my all time favorite.” She gives a harsh tug on his hair. “See? Doesn’t quite work as well.”

He bites back a moan at her action, digging around her drawer until he finds a bullet shaped, silver rod. “I’ll have to grow it out again after this movie I guess.”

“I’d like that very much.”

His fingers flip along the little bullet, inspecting it. “Let’s get you out of this, yeah?” He asks, pulling on the strap of the Babydoll.

She nods, giving him a devious smirk. Placing both hands at the top of the neckline, Sebastian pulls apart the material.

It rips in half, leaving just her lace panties to cover her modesty. “I’m waiting for the day when you don’t rip apart my clothes.” She muses.

“I’m waiting for the day when you just stop wearing clothes all together.” He cracks back, marveling at her bare chest.

He runs his hands down the swell of her breasts, chewing his lip at being able to just touch her.

With a fluid motion he rips off her thin panties. She gasps, giving him a stern look as he chuckles. He wants to hear her yell his name, scream into a void as she crashes from her orgasm.

He scoots down, jaw slack, till he’s level with her glistening pink. It’s been far too long since he’s tasted Y/N and he’s not about to be robbed of that privilege by some metal sex toy. He moves his hands to spread her legs, giving him more access to her dampened core. He spreads her folds, tongue poking out to wet his lips as he’s graced with the presence of her sopping clit.

She bucks upwards, wanting him to just get on with it. “Hey, Little Miss Bucky. Hips down.” He grins up at her.

“Don’t give me a name after your character.” She groans above him, pouring out that plump bottom lip of hers.

“And here I thought you liked the Winter Soldier.” Seb laughs, his breath riffing against her heat.

“Yeah, I do like Bucky. But that doesn’t mean I want to be named after him.” Y/N bucks her hips up again.

“Keep your hips down.” Sebastian growls, pinning her body to the mattress by throwing a strong arm over her torso.

Sebastian’s too horny to keep teasing her and he can feel his cock nearly bursting through his jeans. Diving right into her heat, he licks along her clit and savors the taste.

He eyes her, watching her mouth drop as he nibbles against her clit. He probes it with the tip of his tongue, rolling his tongue along it. He all but forgot how intoxicating her pussy was, so small licks were definitely not enough for him.

His moves grow aggressive, almost as if he wants to ruin her before even getting his cock inside of her.

He fingers along her opening, tongue flattening at the base of her clit and licks with a broad swipe upwards.

“Seb..” She moans out and Christ, Sebastian knows now that he’s never crave a sound as much as that of his girl begging for him.

Y/N starts squirming, pulsing on his tongue — her sweet juices flowing down his chin. He needs more of that, more of the taste, more of her moans, more of her hand tugging at his hair. She’s a drug to him and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get his fix.

“More.” She hums, pushing his face closer to her sex by his hair, growing greedier by the second. Her small moans grow louder as he ravishes her clit, throwing in a nibble or two.

He gets lost in her all together - lost in her constant pulling at his hair which absolutely drives him up a wall.

He sucks her clit into his mouth and rolls it with his tongue. She sputters along the mattress, pressing her face into the pillow below her head.

It’s been months since Y/Ns been eaten out and Sebastian assumes she won’t last as long as normal. Hell, he won’t last long when he finally gets his cock inside of her.

She tugs on his roots, forcing him to look up at her. “Seb, I love your mouth - I really fucking do. But shit, you can’t just hold the vibrator and not use it on me.” She says, reminding Sebastian that he indeed has the little silver bullet in his fist across her stomach. Pure torture, he supposes.

“Sorry baby.” He purrs into her slick, giving her two more languid licks before flipping the vibrator along his fingers. “Wanna cum, don’t you?”

“No fucking shit, Seb. Just cause it’s your birthday doesn’t mean you can tease me.” She grumbles, massaging her fingers into his hair.

He smirks hotly, twisting the little bottom on the toy. It purrs in his hand as he knocks it another notch. “Wow.” He muses, feeling the strong pulsations through his hand. “Picked a good one, didn’t you?”

“Sebastian..” She moans, pouting down at him. “C'mon baby.”

He nods, flipping it another notch. His eyes widen at the pure power in the small bullet. He leans down and pecks her clit, swiping his tongue over it to add to her copious amount of slick.

Every touch he presses to her hot skin pulls a reaction throughout her entire body. Sebastian knows everything about her body, he’s learned from the numerous years they spent together, exploring one another’s body. He knows she loses control when he fingers her while she knows his cock floods heavy and thick whenever she tugs on his hair.

God did he miss her. Missed the sounds she makes when he has his tongue running across her clit; missed her bucking hips against his chin; missed the pure feel of her skin pressed against his. And fuck did he miss being able to slurp up her flowing juices after she cums all over his mouth.

He brings the toy down to her slit, watching her body jolt from the bed as the vibrations work through her core.

Sebastian smirks, bringing the vibrating tool up along her clit. Y/N squeals delightfully, a content smile across her features as she rolls in his hands.

She cries and arches off the bed, pulling harshly at his locks. Sebastian wraps an arm around her stomach to hold her down as she squirms about.

“That’s it baby,” He coos. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” He presses the vibrator harder down on her clit, pinning her into place. She jerks and rolls her hips, coiled in pleasure.

He watches his girl, completely in awe of the complete wreck her body was. He rubs the vibrator in circles on her clit, completely drawn to her moans.

Her eyes are pinched shut and her hips are rutting up before Sebastian snaps out of his trance. He brings his fingers to her pert hole, drawing his fingers inside of her. He wants to stretch her out nice and good for him.

He drives his fingers into her, curling along the upper wall. Her toes curl behind his back when he presses against her sweet spot. The vibrator is around the size of his finger and an idea clicks in his mind. He’s always wanted to do this to her. He pulls the vibrator down her slit before removing his fingers and watching her eyebrow cork up in confusions. Her face relaxes when he fits the tip of the toy to her hole. He’s never done this before, never got to see her from this angle.

He can observe her, watch her hole. Sebastian pushes the vibrator into her, his cock twitching when he sees her walls stretch and ripple around it. He uses a fast pace to pump it into her, her walls lurching and clamping down on the metal.

His free hand reaches down along the sheets to give himself a generous squeeze through his jeans. The vibrator is halfway in her cunt and he thinks he might have let out a loud moan. Y/N pulls at the hair on his head, wiggling her head into the pillows beneath her. Sebastian just really wants to fuck her, but fucking her with the vibrator is doing a damn good job. He licks around his lips and notices her taste is still lingering along there. He can only imagine how he’d look had she cum all over his mouth.

“Fuck, fuck! Sebastian!” She moans. If that isn’t the hottest thing Sebastian has ever heard..

He never realized just how tight Y/N actually is. Sure he’s felt her clench and stretch around his dick when he’s filled her to the brim, but watching it makes the whole thing seem even more amazing. Shit, he will never get enough of her. And yeah it’s probably her smell that’s lingering in the air but.. He knows he’s going to need her for the rest of his life.

And then.. There she goes. She’s cumming all over his hands as she thrashes on the bed, chiding his name.

“Sebastian,” she moans, pulling at him. “Fuck me, please..” She commands and Sebastian smiles, wanting nothing more than to wreck her. He pulls the vibrator from her, watching her slick slide across the cool metal. He groans, tossing it to the other side of the bed.

Sebastian sits up, crawling up her body to pepper kisses to her chest. She pulls at his belt, pouting up at him. He knows she wants to suck him off just from the look in her eyes. “Suck me off all you want later, okay? Baby, I need to fuck you.” He groans, watching the way she nods eagerly.

“Happy birthday, babe. Now, if you don’t mind, completely fucking wreck me.” Y/N smirks and Sebastian feels a gush of blood rush to his cock. He throbs against his jeans.

He nods quickly, pulling his zipper down and kicking his pants to the end of the bed. Y/N reaches down and cups his cock through his boxers. “Flip over, babygirl.” Sebastian requests and helps turn her onto her tummy. She raises her bum, wiggling it in the air as she waits for him. He shoves his boxers down, stroking his cock a few times. He slaps his cock on her ass a few times, in the name of fun of course.

He grasps himself at the base and scoots closer to her ass, placing the tip at her entrance. Sebastian drops his head as he inches into her, eyes closed tightly. He bottoms out, placing a hand at the top of her ass.

She clenches around him. “Fuck — stop.” He groans, pushing her hip to make her stop. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum right here if you keep that up.”

A low groan escapes his throat as he rocks into her, thinking about how shitty it was to go six whole months without feeling her around his cock. Never again, he’ll fly home for a few hours just to fuck her if he has to.

“Feel good baby? Better than that vibrator.” Sebastian says, diving into her with such force that her body knocks up the bed. He teases her with a smack on the cheek, just hard enough to earn a glare from her.

“So good, so much better.” She breathes, relief growing from the sensation of his dick inside of her. Sebastian leans down and puts his weight on his upper body so he can bite her neck.

His hair falls forward and plasters along his forehead, sticking to his skin with his sweat. He squeezes her sides as the tightness in his stomach bunches and tingles through his entire body.

“Fuck.” She groans, digging her face down into the pillow as her squirming begins. He kisses the top of her shoulder while she squeals in his arms. So sweet, so fucking gorgeous.

“Just like that, fuck.” He says into her hair, gasping at her cunt squeezing his cock harder than ever. He picks up his pace, watching her brows furrow in pleasure.

She bites the pillow below, a scream coming out muffled. She drops to the mattress, her ass still high in the air. Her pussy clenches and releases on a rhythm, juices gushing down her thighs. “Sebastian!” She screams.

Sebastian’s thrusts become sloppy in her fluttering core. He comes hard..Christ it felt amazing. He shoots some good spurts inside of her, low-bellied grunts come from his mouth. He doesn’t want the feeling to end when he continues softly thrusting, pulling his limp cock from her core.

He flips her back over, curling her to settle on top of his chest. There’s a small silence between them for a moment before Sebastian absolutely ruins it. “So because it’s my birthday does that mean I can cum on your face later?”

Allison and Neil BFF AU

(Is this technically an AU because they’re low key bffs in canon tbh???) 
Sorry this will be an exceedingly long post and I’m on mobile and I can’t do a read more/ I don’t know how??? So I apologize in advance but this HAD to be posted

• so imagine Neil ends up in Phoenix instead of Millport 


• and Allison lives in a much too big house by herself because fuck her parents she doesn’t WANT what they are giving her, so she leaves 


•and they’re both in high school, because what’s a canon timeline, and Allison is about to be a senior and Neil is a little sophomore with a lot of trust issues.

• he doesn’t plan on staying but it’s not like he even knows where to go after this, his mom is dead and he’s on his own so he just doesn’t really KNOW what to do with himself

• and he plays exy because it’s the only thing that makes him feel real

• and that’s how he meets Allison

• She has a thing for strays and sad looking boys with too many scars and she’s super fond of Neil even though he wants nothing to do with her

• and she just keeps bothering him because he’s small and sad looking and she wants to cut his hair because it’s horrible and clean his face because, seriously have you EVER taken care of yourself

• Neil finally gives in and hangs out with her because she’s pushy and maybe she will leave him alone after

• they eat Chinese food and watch a movie in her too big house and Neil can’t help but be anxious and angsty

• it continues where Allison is basically bullying little Neil to hang out with her because tough love™

• after a couple of months he just accepts it, he’s not going to stay anyway why does it matter?

• turns out it does matter because Allison won’t let him leave even if he WANTED TO

• he tries one night after the last game of the year but she won’t let him, in fact she won’t leave him alone at all

• she keeps following him all night and he doesn’t find it as annoying as he should
• he decides it wouldn’t really be too bad to stay for another couple of months so he does.
• the summer would have been boring if it wasn’t for Allison dragging him across Arizona
• they go sight seeing and stay in way too expensive hotels, because she LOVES wasting her parents money
• and one night when they’re near the border of California Neil finally opens up a little bit
• nothing in grave detail because they’re not on that level but he trusts her enough that he tells her his mom is dead and his dad is looking for him
• he tells her he might leave and she looks so MAD
• because screw you neil josten you’re staying here with ME and there is nothing you can do about it
• when they finally make it back to Phoenix she tells him he can stay with her whenever he wants
• it becomes a normal thing, Allison will leave the back door unlocked so he can come in whenever he wants and she has the second bedroom done so he can sleep there comfortably
•. She even puts a lock on his door because she KNOWS him and he’s low key happy about it
• they cook together and sometimes they go on trips to other places
• Neil doesn’t want to ever step foot in California, so Allison takes him to other places like Utah, Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico
• she wanted to go to Mexico for a week one summer but she was low key worried about taking Neil out of the country
• what if he doesn’t come back??? Was her biggest fear
• he does leave one night and Allison tries not to worry because he does this sometimes
• he will disappear after practice and not come home until the wee hours of the morning
• so she’s TRYING not to worry but this is Neil commitment issues Josten™
• plus something just doesn’t feel right
• so she waits up all night and when he doesn’t come home she goes to look for him
• she finds him at a bus station with his duffel bag, looking defeated
• and she doesn’t mean to cry but she does
• and Neil’s just as much a mess, he doesn’t know why he couldn’t just LEAVE
• he’s afraid she’ll get hurt if he stays but she’s the closest thing to a family he will ever have
• he doesn’t try to leave again after that
• Allison doesn’t make Neil a key because she knows him better than anyone, maybe more than he knows himself, and she knows that if he has one he will freak out and leave again
• because keys mean he has a place that he can call home and keys are permanent and real
• so she just keeps the doors unlocked when she’s home and if she isn’t she leaves a window unlatched
• because god forbid she accidentally leaves everything locked and he has to break a window to get in, she would KILL HIM
• during her senior year Allison starts vlogging
• soon she’s too popular for her own good and it scares Neil because what if the world sees him??! What if his Dad’s people catch sight of him????
• Allison knows better than to let him get caught so she never says his real name or shows his face on camera
• but boy do people love stories about her nameless roommate
• “he’s an idiot. The other day he tripped on nothing and told me the world was ending when he hit his knee on the banister. But the one time he got hit by a car and was bleeding out he was ‘fine’ he is the most dramatic piece of shit”
• everyone knows she loves him anyway
• when Allison graduated Neil expects her to leave but she doesn’t.
• she stays in the house with him and he doesn’t ask her why because he low key finds it nice
• he keeps playing exy until his senior year and Allison is like a proud mom
• when wymack, Andrew, and Kevin show up to recruit him he thinks he might throw up
• Allison comes into the locker room and has this LOOK on her face and Neil might kill her
• Wymack had tried to recruit her when she was a senior but there was NO WAY she would leave Neil alone in Phoenix with out her
• so she told him to come back in 2 years because he could have a two for one and it would definitely be worth it
• wymack sees what she meant after he watched Neil play
• Allison just crosses her arms and watches with amusement as they try to convince Neil to sign with the foxes
• he looks at her like a deer caught in headlights because, he can’t school his face around her, he needs her help, he can’t just LEAVE her here????
• and Allison just says “it’s okay I’m coming too.”
• and that’s how they both end up on the foxes court the next year (and for the next 5 years)

Hostage

Pairing: FakeAH!Michael x Reader

Word Count: 1244

Warnings: Violence, swearing

Chapter Two (One)


You weren’t sure how much time had passed, it could’ve been days, or maybe only a few hours. Only one other person had come in since the medic left, and all he did was inject something into your upper arm, with little resistance due to your bound limbs. You’d been fading in and out of consciousness since then, barely able to process the thirst and hunger paining you as you fought to keep your eyes open. By the time the commotion started outside, you were barely able to process any of it.

Keep reading

Old Friend! Cal

Pairing: Y/N and Calum

Warning: Smut, Swearing and Spanking

Word count: 3K

Summery: Y/N is a surfer who bumps in to her old friend and they catch up ;) Also i’ve written before, not on tumblr though so first one! I’m excited af!!

Originally posted by mheartworld

I placed my surfboard in the sand and looked at the sea, todays been the longest day and its only really just begun, I had to work the late shift at work again last night and my boss is a pain in the ass, always wanting something from me, do this, do that. Like what do I look like a piece of shit you can walk on? No, at least I have the weekends off, which gives me two day to relax and enjoy the view of the sea and of course, go for a surf. I’ve been surfing since I can remember my dad used to take me out every Saturday morning, since his death I’ve still gone although his replacement is a pain in my ass i still love her for coming out with me, id rather be with Y/F/N then be alone. 

“What did you want? I have a ham sandwich or cheese before we hit the waves”
I looked over Y/F/N as she leant over the picnic basket, Y/F/N was tall, blonde and blue eyes, you would of thought she actually knew how to surf but she doesn’t, but she’s getting better every time I take her out. She got out the sandwiches and looked up at me.

“Y/N" 

"Mm cheese please”

“Are you sure?”

“You want the cheese don’t you?” I giggled, she tossed me the ham sandwich and sat on the tartan picnic blanket.

“Do you ever get tiered of surfing?” she asked

“How do you get tiered of something you love?”

“Didn’t Derrick get tiered of you?”

I took a bite out of my sandwich at the name of my Ex of nearly 6 months, We’d been together 2 years It was puppy love we’d met in high school he was the new beautiful American boy in a foreign land and he was the classic popular boy with all the girls swooning at him, after about 3 months he asked me out and me being shocked as why he asked me I said yes, turns out that the relationship was a bet which earned him $20 and that for 5 months he’d been cheating on me with his soon to be step-sister, which is disgusting 1. because you don’t cheat on somebody and 2. its practically insets. But after people found out his mum never did marry that guy and he moved far away from here.

“He didn’t really love me though”

“He was a asshole and a pig and he didn’t deserve someone like you sorry for bringing it up”

“Thanks" 

"Hurry up and eat the rest of that and we can go surfing" 

I ate the last piece of my sandwich and stood up wiping off the sand that had already managed to get on my ass. As I looked over the beach it was quite empty apart from a tanned boy reading a book and a elderly couple sitting on deckchairs. As I looked more at the tanned boy the more I recognise him, I’m not sure where from though.

"Y/N c'mon”

I grabbed my surfboard and followed Y/F/N down to the sea


I shook off the water from my hair and undid my wetsuit revealing my blue poka-dot bikini. Nothing attractive really it just something comfortable, and something that if I take of my wetsuit I won’t be stripping down to my birthday suit. I folded my towel around my wetsuit so my bag won’t get soaked and put it in my bag whilst getting out my shorts and t-shirt and putting them over my bikini. Y/F/N was also doing the same. 

“Are you entering the surf competition this year?” She asked

“No I don’t think I should”

“And why not?”

“Because of last year” Last year, the year was awful it was the year i fell off the surfboard and whacked my face against the board whilst doing a trick, after the competition I came 4th and had to get stitches in my nose. 

“But that won’t happen again, history doesn’t repeat itself”

“I’ll think about it”

“Ok well I’m going to go to Dans and I’ll see you tonight at the camp fire”

“Do I have to go” I wined

“Yes and if not I’m going to drag you by your hair”

“How about no”

“Bye Y/N” she giggled

I waved goodbye to Y/F/N as she walked across the road to her boyfriend Dans house, he’s really nice and takes care of Y/F/N, he’s holding the campfire party tonight as he practically lives on the beach, which I wish I could do, unfortunately I live 10 minutes away from the beach and have a small flat in the middle of town, which is the busiest part of any place. 

I grasped hold of my bag and surfboard and walked over to my car. A shitty blue box basically, but thats all I can afford, due to the fact that all I do is surf and theres not really a degree in that. I opened the passenger door to put my bag in but the wind made it slam against the car next to it.

Shit” I said whilst dropping my surfboard and bag to the ground.

I pulled my door away from the other car, hoping that no one had saw as there was a little bit of my blue paint on there red car, I licked my thumb and rubbed it against the blue paint but it seemed to make it worse and it smudged a little and revealed a silver scratch down it. I looked back up and saw no one, I shouldn’t leave it but theres nothing I can do, I turned around going to pick up my bag but I fell into someone’s arms.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry”

“No worries” the man said, I stood back up on my own two feet and looked up at the man, although, these eyes I recognised all too well, the tanned boy on the beach was in fact the boy who went to my high school and was one of my good friends until I started dating Derrick, His name was Calum and boy did puberty hit him hard.

“Calum?”

“Hey Y/N”

“H-How are you, its been so long?”

“Good, apart from I now have a blue scratch on my car”

“This is your car? I’m so so so sorry” I said turning around and closing my car door and leaning against it with my head in my hands.

“I really didn’t mean too it was the wind but I was just putting my bag in the-”

“Y/N! it’s ok I’m getting a new car next week and this is going to the scrap”

“Oh well thats a relief” I sighed

I stood there looking at him, he’s changed a lot since the last time I saw him. His full fringe now turned into the semi quiff. His muscles now defined and tattoos over his arm and chest, which is practically screaming at me as he’s not wearing a shirt.  His brown eyes still warm, a beautiful dark brown colour and more noticeable now he’s not wearing his geeky glasses. He’s also such a beautiful colour and has beautiful golden skin. In a way I missed him and when he used to come round and tutor me, well when I say tutor me I mean we used to make pillow forts even know though we were 15 and supposed to be learning Shakespeare. But it all went, the fun, the laughs and the happiness when Derrick asked me out and Cal used to ignore me, he never wanted to hang out. I tried for months every time i asked him to go somewhere he’d shove it to the side, in the end Derrick told me to stop trying with someone who didn’t care for me anymore.

“Do you need help with your surfboard?" 

"Oh no I’m ok really”

"Ok well I’m going to go, it was nice seeing you”

“C-cal”

“Yeah”

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing, why?”

“Did you want to come to the camp fire party? It on this beach at 7?”

“You want me to come?”

“More than anything" 

"Ok”

I grabbed my surfboard and went round to the back of my car whilst Calum pulled out his car, all i heard was the remains of All time low Backseat serenade as he drove off.

I put my surfboard in the boot and my bag in there too. I got in my car, the green air freshener Y/F/N made me buy after I had eaten a McDonalds filled my nose with a mint flavour, one of them smells that you can actually taste, I’ve been meaning to get read of it but its in the shape of a surfboard and looks pretty cool. I turned the radio on and drove home.


“So that’s why we broke up” I finished explain mine and Derricks break up to Calum

“Well if you’re asking me he’s a dick for doing that to you”

“Yeah”

I looked around the beach and everyone was in there pacts and chatting away, Y/F/N was practically eating her boyfriends face off.  There was a group of girls on the beach dancing to the overly played pop music. However I was sat toasting marshmallows with Calum who arrived in a black button up shirt and black jeans which made him look more attractive then ever, it was hard to take my eyes off him.

”What happened to us?”

“He told me to stay away from you”

“What really?!” I gasped and turned toward Calum. 

“Yeah, after you got together he told me to stay away, so I did”

“Why did you listen to that ass?" 

"Because..h-he told me he’d hurt you if I didn’t, not as in violence but he’d tell you things, that wouldn’t be true not ever, but you seemed so happy with him”

"You shouldn’t have listened”

“I know.. But I was young and stupid”

I looked at the fire in front of us and back at Calum

“Wanna go to my house and build a pillow fort?” Calum laughed and grabbed the packet of marshmallows we were eating

“Let’s go”

The whole journey to my flat I couldn’t keep my eyes of Calum and his jawline mostly, man that could cut a bitch. 

We got to the door and I unlocked it, I went straight to my room and got all the duvets and pillow and ran back into the living room

“I went through you cupboards and found chocolate, cola and ice cream, along with the marshmallows we stole" 

"Great here we go”

We spent a hour building the fort, trying to keep pillows on top of other pillows but failed most of the time so our fort is a few pillows on the floor with the duvet lying across two sofas above us. We managed to eat the rest of the marshmallows and the ice cream had melted by the time we got to it, after the cokes I went and got something a bit stronger.

“I can’t believe I haven’t seen you in three years” I said whilst opening the bottle of beer and passing it to Calum

“I missed you”

”Ive missed you too” I whispered, looking down at the beer

“How’s you love life, anyway? I told you about Derrick what about you?”

“I’m not with anyone”

“Really a guy like you?” I said whilst Calum sat up on his elbow looking over me

“Yeah a guy like me, there’s only one girl that I can’t live without”

“Really who?”

“Selena Gomez” I laughed at him and I smacked his shoulder

“No but really, ever since day one it’s always been her”

“Ever since she went on Disney channel?”

“No I’m not talking about Selena I’m talking about you”

“Me?”

“Yeah you” he mumbled 

I looked up at him and his eyes seem to look genuine, I never thought that he would like me, I didn’t even know I could like him. But the feeling in my stomach tells me otherwise. He lent down and gave me a Eskimo kiss which made me laugh and as did he.

“God you’re a idiot”

I rolled on top of him and leant down 

"I know Cal, I know” I pressed my lips to his, I’ve never felt fireworks, never ever but if this is what fireworks feel like I want more, I swiped my tongue over his lips and he taste like minty-cola. I stopped kissing him and tugged on his bottom lip, smirking at him which made him moan and made me laugh. I moved to his neck, he smelled delicious and I sucked a hickey. His hand grabbed hold of my waist as he tried to grind up into me, which made me moan into his neck.

“Y/N-N please”

“What do you want?" 

“You” I sit up straight and rest my hands on his chest slowly scratching down as I grind on him. 

“As much as I love this” He gets hold of my shirt and pulls it over me and flips us over. 

”I’m Incharge, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted this”

I grabbed hold of erection and slowly palmed him

“I think I have a rough idea”

He leant down and kissed me again as I leant up and unclipped my bra. He started to kiss down my neck sucking hickeys as he went, he got down to my boobs and sucked onto my left nipple whilst his hand massaged my left. 

“F-fuck Calum” I whined 

He moaned which vibrated around my nipple, he took the other nipple into his mouth I was in pure bliss, my hand went into Calums hair and the other too Calums button on his jeans he sat up and took off his jeans and then undid mine. 

“I’ve been waiting for this so long I don’t think I’ll last…”

“It okay I just need you and only you”

He took of my panties and his boxers and reached over to his jeans as he was doing that I leant forward and kitten licked his dick

“Y/N Jesus” I looked up at him and he had his head tilted back and his hand moved into my hair 

“Y/N” he whined as I took him into my mouth, he let out a few curse words before tugging me off him

“I-I w-wanna fuck you”

I leant back “then do it” I giggled whilst rolling onto all fours and wiggling my ass in the air. I heard a small ‘fuck’, after he rolled on the condom his hand came down and slapped my ass. Which I was not expecting to feel so good, so I wiggled my ass again and he laughed whilst palming my ass and spanking it again. I felt his tip at my entrance and he stayed there circling it around my entrance. “Calum” I whined, “What?” he smirked, I pushed myself backwards onto him. We moaned in unison as he pounded into me, he kept smacking my ass and I could feel him hitting my g-spot which made me muffle my face in the pillow below as I clutched the sheets.

“Nu-uh pretty girl” Calum moaned and grabbed my hair and pulled me into his chest hitting me at a better angle. I reached around and grabbed hold of his ass and leant my head on his shoulder. He sucked on my neck licking over the hickeys he previously made. Which made me whimper over and over again. 

“I’m going to cum pretty girl”

“S-same”

“Cum then beautiful” he whispered in my ear, which sent me over the edge as I fell onto the pillows, I series of swears and relating Calums name came out my mouth as I saw stars. I got up just to turn my head around and watch Calum cum in me.

I rolled over and he collapsed on top of me so his head was resting on my chest. 

“You know I wasn’t joking, I’ve like you for a really long time when you went with Derrick I was so upset and I didn’t want to hurt you so I let you to be with someone you loved”

“I never really loved him, I always thought of you, ya know, I thought of you more than him, you were always on my mind”

He raised his head and kissed me 

“Be mine?”



6 weeks later it was the surf competition and I had made it into the final, there were me and two others Australia’s sweetheart and a girl who is a bitch so I’m not associating with her, it was the last race and we had to perform at least 5 tricks I was nervous as fuck. So far I haven’t smashed my face on any surfboards and I’m a lot more experienced this year and i’ve got an amazing boyfriend who’s been supporting me through this competition along with Y/F/N and Dan.

“You’re going to do great baby” Calum says whilst kissing my forehead

“Thank you”

“Yeah!! you’re gonna splash them outta the water” Y/F/N said excitedly whilst jumping up and down into Dan’s arms

“I love you” Calum whispered in my ear my breath hitched and I turned around to face him 

“You mean it?”

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t” he blushed

I grabbed hold of his face and kissed him “I love you too” I mumbled against his lips

We smiled into the kiss and let go by the sound of the speaker calling me over

“If you win I’ll give you the champion a small present” he spoke whilst winking

“Pretty sure it’s not small Cal” I shouted as I ran to the start line.

Mordecai's Love Life Abridged - The Thrilling Saga [UPDATED]
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: HOLY S HTI I C ANNOT BREA THE SHE SMOKIN HOT
  • Rigby: Go ask her out! She seems nice...
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: Go ask lady pecs out
  • Mordecai: You kiddin me, I ain't doin that shit
  • Rigby: UGHHHGHGHGHGGHGHGH
  • *five episodes later*
  • Mordecai: Alright, imma do it. I'm gonna do it
  • Margaret: Hey dude wassup?
  • Mordecai: Do you wanna... fuck.
  • Margaret: WHAT?!
  • Mordecai: Nevermind NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back to Rigby*
  • Rigby: Dude!
  • Mordecai: I tried man, I really did try
  • *he eventually makes up with Margaret and hangs around with her for four seasons not getting anywhere*
  • Mordecai: I'm gonna kiss that hot piece of shit
  • Rigby: Oh lord...
  • Mordecai: it'll be easy!
  • Rigby: DO IT OR YOU'LL HAVE TO WEAR A DIAPER
  • Mordecai: wtf
  • Rigby: DO IT FOR THE VINE
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • Margaret: What's this shit I'm hearing about a bet?
  • Mordecai: No.
  • Margaret: FUCK YOU MORDECAI. FUCK YOU. *runs off*
  • Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
  • Margaret: Oh you want me to save your sorry little ass from freezing to death? Tell me how you REALLY feel about me.
  • Mordecai: OKAY FINE I LIKE YOU, OKAY?
  • Margaret: *nearly kisses him*
  • Margaret: Fuck you you piece of shit
  • *a few episodes later*
  • Eileen: HORY SHIT GUYS A FUCKIN METEOR SHOWER IS GONNA HIT THIS TOWN WITH A BANG *inside her head* hello Rigby you rabie-filled hottie.
  • Mordecai: Cool! I'll be there.
  • Rigby: ACTUALLY DO IT THIS TIME YOU WUSS.
  • *meteor shower hits*
  • Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhh
  • Rigby: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Stahp im emotionally unstable
  • Old potato guy: Bruh
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhh. Yo Margaret you wanna kiss?
  • *makes out*
  • Margaret: That was a great meteor shower (what the fuck just happened)
  • *dates for awhile*
  • Mordecai: Yo Margaret
  • Margaret: Goin' to college! Fuck you.
  • *loud emotional crying from Mordecai*
  • CJ: Hey Mordecai, I'm a cool ass cloud that puts up with zero shit, have all the same interests as you, and I kill people. You wanna date?
  • Mordecai: gee, I don't know, you're pretty cool, but-
  • Rigby: DO NOT.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • CJ: sick
  • *hangs out for awhile*
  • Eileen: GO ON A FUCKIN DATE ALREADY
  • Mordecai and CJ: wut
  • Eileen: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Fine, u down fo dis CJ?
  • CJ: sure
  • *date than ends with drama and Mordecai and CJ becoming canon*
  • Mordecai: I luv this cloud
  • Rigby: STAHP
  • Mordecai: What?!
  • Rigby: SPEND MORE TIME WIT ME
  • Mordecai: ... bruh
  • Rigby: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: Surprise bitch
  • Mordecai: THE FUCK
  • Margaret: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
  • Mordecai: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • CJ: Hey Morde-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up
  • CJ: What?
  • Margaret: Hey CJ!
  • CJ: Hi, I'm Mordo's bitch now
  • Margaret: WAT
  • Mordecai: I, ummmm
  • Margaret: No, it's cool! You need to be happy!
  • Mordecai: thx
  • *hug*
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T LETTIN GO OF YOU
  • Margaret: ME EITHER
  • *makes out*
  • CJ: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
  • Mordecai: well shit
  • Margaret: oh...
  • *runs out crying*
  • Mordecai: NO PLZ FORGIVE ME
  • Eileen: Dis bitch is now my roommate. fuck you.
  • Margaret: you done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: ...
  • Mordecai: i fucked up. fuck
  • *the next day*
  • Mordecai: what up cj
  • CJ: why the did you invite me to this shithole of a coffee shop
  • Mordecai: idk what happened
  • CJ: Bitch plz
  • Mordecai: Here's a bunch of butt-shaped gifts
  • CJ: OH MY GOD I FORGIVE YOU I FUCKIN LOVE BUTTS
  • Margaret: IM GOIN TO CALL MORDY AT THE WRONG FUCKING TIME. YO MORDY
  • CJ: who the fuck is this bitch
  • Mordecai: The bitch I kissed
  • CJ: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
  • *more sad music*
  • Mordecai: fuck you margaret... fuck you...
  • Sad Sax Guy: IF YOU HAVIN GURL PROBLEMS I FELL BAD FO YOU SON I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AINT ONE
  • Mordecai: shut up and help me cj fuckin hates my guts
  • Sad Sax Guy: Get the bitch you kissed here
  • Mordecai: Fine
  • *at the park*
  • Mordecai: Wut up bitch
  • Margaret: I don't want to get involved even though I should have stopped you from kissing me but I went along with it anyway, so fuck you.
  • Mordecai: You're a good friend
  • *hugs*
  • CJ: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
  • Mordecai: goddammit...
  • Sad Sax Guy: Lol just put up a bunch of cheap-ass performances fo her
  • Mordecai: thanks lmao
  • CJ: is this a fuckin joke
  • Mordecai: Yo up Cee- *gets hit by bus*
  • CJ: JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU OKAY
  • Mordecai: Yeah, thing is.... are you?
  • CJ: Feelin' great *slaps him on head with board* bye asshole
  • Rigby: Are you insane?!
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: STAHP LISTENING TO A WEIRD SHIRTLESS GUY WHO PLAYS THE SAXOPHONE FOR SOME WEIRD REASON
  • Mordecai: Ugh.
  • Sad Sax Guy: Go to your older bitch's house
  • Mordecai: You mean my mom's?
  • Sad Sax Guy: ...
  • *goes to mom's house*
  • Mordecai's Mom: You done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: I KNOW. HELP ME.
  • Mordecai's Mom: Sway her in.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • *goes outside*
  • Mordecai: Rigby, tell dis bitch to look outside
  • Rigby: Look outside
  • CJ: Awwwwwww...
  • *at hospital*
  • CJ: Why the fuck did you kiss that bitch
  • Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR MARGARET AND SEEING HER BROUGHT DOS FEELZ BACK I'M SORRY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK IT WAS MY FAULT.
  • CJ: Fine.
  • *makes out*
  • Sad Sax Guy: Happy holidays, asshole.
  • *a month later*
  • Eileen: YOU GUYZ WANNA SEE SOME FUCKIN SEA TURTS
  • CJ, Mordecai, and Rigby: sure
  • Eileen: YO MARGARET YOU WANNA SEE
  • CJ: no
  • Eileen: wat
  • CJ: NO.
  • Eileen: Oh. Right.
  • *in the car*
  • CJ: you had to kiss dat bitch didnt u mordecai
  • Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR HER I'M SORRY FO DA LAST TIME.
  • *drama with spa shit happens*
  • CJ: Goddammit.
  • *calls Margaret*
  • Margaret: YOOOOOOO CHECK OUT THESE ASSHOLES USIN' TURTLES FO THEIR SPA SHIT, HOW DA FUCK DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ANIMAL CRUELTY?
  • *a bunch of shit goes down*
  • Eileen: THX MARGARET FO SAVING OUR ASS
  • CJ: I called her u know...
  • Eileen: CJ AWWWWWWWWWW
  • *group hug with margaret*
  • CJ: bitch what the fuck do u think you're doing
  • Margaret: #awkward
  • Eileen: SHUT UP AND HUG ME
  • CJ: i came to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now
  • *a month later*
  • Mordecai: HOLY SHIT A PARTY IS GOIN DOWN AT DAT OTHER BITCH'S HOUSE. YO C-
  • CJ: lol no i'd rather pick up garbage than do that
  • Rigby: Oh right, because-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up Rigby. Look, I'll get u some of dat cake cause u a bae.
  • CJ: THANK YOU MORDECAI *hugs*
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: NOPE *runs into bathroom*
  • Rigby: dude... what the fuck...
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T FUCKIN ANYTHING UP IN HERE
  • Rigby: bruh...
  • Mordecai: Fine...
  • Margaret's Dad: YO DIAPER BOY I GOT A SEAT IN THE HELI FO YA YOU WANNA RIDE WIT DA FAM?
  • Mordecai: shit
  • *goes onto helicopter*
  • Margaret: How's the park? :)
  • Mordecai: FUCK HER RIGHT IN DA PUSSY
  • Margaret: stahp acting weird oh my god...
  • Mordecai: I HAVE TO U DON'T UNDERSTAND
  • CJ: lol so some bitch got burned by a river and... what the fuck is my bitch doing with that bitch...
  • Mordecai: oh no. don't.
  • CJ: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MORDECAI I AM DONE TRUSTING YOU YOU PIECE OF GODDAMN BIRD SHIT YOU CAN GO SUCK ON MARGARET'S EGGS FOR ALL I CARE *rages*
  • Mordecai: NO STAHP I'VE BEEN TELLIN YOU A HUNDRED FUCKIN TIMES I AM NOT WIT THIS BITCH ANYMORE
  • CJ: LIAR
  • *almost kills Margaret's parents*
  • Margaret: MOMMMMMMMMMMMM DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
  • Margaret's parents: well fuck u wanna do a mannonball into the pool
  • *lands*
  • CJ: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR *knocks Margaret off helicopter*
  • Margaret: I HAVE A BAE LITERALLY CALM THE FUCK DOWN CJ
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Margaret's dad: lol wut
  • CJ: lol wut
  • Margaret's Boyfriend: lol hi guyz wut up
  • Margaret: SO SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN
  • Mordecai: thank god *lands helicopter*
  • CJ: *cries*
  • Mordecai: yo bitch i got u cake
  • CJ: you might as well take that cake and shove it up my ass mordecai
  • Mordecai: lol ok
  • CJ: IT's A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU MORON
  • Mordecai: oh
  • CJ: I FUCKED UP. I ALMOST KILLED DIS BITCH'S PARENTS-
  • Margaret: will u please stop referring to me as "bitch"
  • CJ: ANNNNNNYWAAAAYYYS I ALMOST KILLED THEM ALL OVER NOTHING
  • Mordecai: yeah u did that....
  • CJ: I HAVE TO LEAVE I'M HAVING FEELZ
  • *CJ runs off as "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi plays in the background*
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: zzzzzzzzz HOLY FUCK oh my god *shoves head on couch* EILEEN GET YOUR MOLE ASS IN HERE
  • Eileen: oh god not this shit again
  • Margaret: I don't actually have a bae! I made the whole thing up so CJ wouldn't kick my ass! WHAT DO I DO
  • Eileen: Tell the truth?
  • Margaret: bitch pls
  • *knocking on door*
  • Eileen: you know that bitch that almost killed your parents? well, she's here
  • Margaret: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE *opens the door*
  • CJ: Hey, Margaret! :3
  • Margaret: Hey, uh, CJ...
  • CJ: Look I'm sorry for pretty much the whole time that I've known you with killing your parents, destruction and all that other shit, but can we get to know each other a little bit? You can bring your bae if you want!
  • Margaret: KEWL
  • CJ: Awesome! *leaves*
  • Margaret: OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
  • Eileen: Get Del here
  • Margaret: YO DEL CAN YOU PRETEND TO BE MY SUGAR DADDY FOR THE DAY
  • Del: lol sure
  • Margaret: RIGBY COME UP WITH A SCRIPT
  • Rigby: k
  • Del: *literally fucks everything up*
  • CJ: he cool
  • Margaret: ikr
  • Del: how you guys doing (ohhhhh dis is da best ass ive felt all my life)
  • Margaret: good I guess (get your fucking meat sticks off my ass)
  • Margaret: YOU'RE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP
  • Del: i know
  • Margaret: RIGBY DEL IS-
  • Rigby: fuck u bitch *hangs up*
  • Mordecai: i like del. hes pretty cool
  • Margaret: lol yeah
  • Mordecai: :>
  • Margaret: (oh my god mordecai's adorable as shit) DEL IS NOT ACTUALLY-
  • Bar: LOL HERE COMES A FUCKIN KISS CAM TO LITERALLY FUCK EVERYTHING UP. AND NOW LET'S "COINCIDENTALLY" POINT IT TOWARDS MARGARET AND DEL TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL
  • Margaret: oh god i have to kiss this ass pincher
  • Del: come on gimme a kiss
  • Margaret: NO GO FUCK YOURSELF
  • Audience: shit
  • CJ: im sorry what the fuck did you just say
  • Margaret: HE'S NOT ACTUALLY MY BAE I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP SO YOU WOULDN'T KILL ME
  • CJ: lol that's fine except you fuckin lied to me u bitch.
  • Margaret: i know...
  • CJ: YOU HAVE FEELZ FOR MORDECAI DON'T YOU? YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME BUT I'M PUTTING YOU ON THE SPOT SO YOU KINDA HAVE TO
  • Margaret: OKAY FINE I DO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY
  • Mordecai: oh fuck no
  • CJ: fuck u bitch
  • *storms out*
  • Margaret: Morde-
  • Mordecai: NO WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME HERE IN THIS AWKWARD SITUATION
  • Margaret: fuck
  • *literally a day later*
  • Mordecai: aw shit muscle milk's wedding is today
  • Rigby: Don't you mean "Muscle Man"?
  • *phone rings*
  • Mordecai: not this bitch again *picks up phone* HEY CJ WHAT UP?!?!?!
  • CJ: Nothin much, you?
  • Mordecai: Meh
  • CJ:
  • Mordecai:
  • CJ: Byea
  • *hangs up*
  • Rigby: Ummmm
  • Mordecai: IT'S AWKWARD WHAT ELSE DID YOU EXPECT?!
  • Rigby: oh my fuckin godddddd mordecai just go shove ur fluffy dick up cj's ass and it will make everything a lot better for the rest of us
  • *wedding comes*
  • Margaret: Hi, Mordecai, can you usher me to my seat? :3
  • Mordecai: Nice shoes *shoves her in the doorway*
  • Rigby: *facepalms*
  • Mordecai: CJ HIIIIIIIIIII YOU LOOKIN FABULOUS
  • CJ: thanks u know i'm the hottest cloud around and if you disagree with me ur toast
  • Mordecai: Right haha
  • Muscle Man: AW SHIT WHERE'S MY LETTER
  • Mordecai and Rigby: ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • *finds letter*
  • Rigby: Oh yeah me and that mole bitch have been dating for months now
  • Mordecai: WA T TH E F UC K
  • Rigby: Too bad ur not livin the good life. If you want to, go wit your GUT
  • Mordecai: thank u u fatass raccoon
  • Muscle Man and Starla: *gets married*
  • Mordecai: BEFORE WE GET MARRIED LEMME SAY A FEW WORDS OF HONOR
  • Rigby: hoe don't do it
  • Mordecai: EVERYONE HAS A SOULMATE BUT WHY NOT ME? I FUCK UP EVERYONE'S LIVES FOR THE WORSE AND NOW I REALIZE THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE A SOULMATE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. CJ UR TRASH. UR FUCKIN TRASH.
  • Rigby: oh my god
  • CJ: heres your bracelet you little fuck
  • Mordecai: RIGBY YOU TOLD ME TO GO WITH MY GUT
  • Rigby: YOU WENT COMPLETELY INSANE MORDECAI
  • Mordecai: my gut sucks what did you expect
  • Rigby: *looks into the camera like he's in The Office*
why tog is shit

bc apparently there are still ppl trying to defend this series, here’s a list of just a few reasons why tog sucks (( ps: i am not hating on sjm ok?? calm urself i have n o t h i n g against her,,, just the books ))

edit: THIS POST IS A MESS. i wasnt gonna post it bc 98% of it is probably unintelligible, but so im sorry if u wanted an actual solid argument and not me just hella salty. my intentions aren’t to offend or shame anyone into having a certain opinion, these r just my thoughts n feelings on certain distasteful aspects of the books. this list is very unorganized as i suck at putting my thoughts into words & i didnt think anyone was actually gonna read it. so keep that in mind. thanks!

Keep reading

"ferris bueller's day off" starters
  • "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
  • "If I get caught, I don't graduate."
  • "Well, we've had a bit of bad luck this morning as you may have heard."
  • "This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I'm probably going to have to barf up a lung, so I better make this one count."
  • "Twenty bucks says he's in his car right now debating on whether or not to go out."
  • "Excuse me. If whoever was in this house is still in the house, I'd like you to know that I've just called the police. I'd also like to add that I've got my father's gun and a SCORCHING case of herpes."
  • "What a little asshole."
  • "This is ridiculous making me wait around the house for you."
  • "Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off."
  • "I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it."
  • "I think I see my dad."
  • "How can I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this?"
  • "I meant, are you in here for drugs?"
  • "Um, he's/she's/they're sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw [name] pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."
  • "The city looks so peaceful from up here."
  • "The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a deadlock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms."
  • "Thank you, no. I'm straight."
  • "It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."
  • "Drugs?"
  • "You fellas have nothing to worry about. I'm a professional."
  • "Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet."
  • "So THAT'S how it is in their family..."
  • "You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here."
  • "[Name], you're my hero."
  • "Why can't you let me rot in peace?"
  • "It is his fault he didn't lock the garage."
  • "Les jeux sont faits. Translation; the game is up. Your ass is mine.
  • "Why'd you kick me?"
  • "A; You can never go too far. B; If I'm gonna get busted, it is NOT gonna be by a guy like that."
  • "I don't trust this kid any further than I can throw him."
  • "I don't remember him being sick nine times."
  • "You killed the car."
  • "There's someone you should talk to."
  • "We're going to get busted."
  • "[Name], this one's for you."
  • "Okay, [name], can we just let it go, please?"
  • "Go piss up a flagpole."
  • "I do have a test today, that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car."
  • "The question isn't 'what are we going to do,' the question is 'what AREN'T we going to do?'"
  • "Never had one lesson!"
  • "If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away?"
  • "A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile."
  • "Did you blow him away or somethin'?"
  • "Uh, what country do you think this is?"
  • "You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she's a whore."
  • "Why are you here?"
  • "He's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands."
  • "Who do you love? You love a car!"
  • "Sooner or later, everyone goes to the zoo."
  • "I can't drive when you're yelling at me!"
  • "Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive."
  • "He's gonna marry me."
  • "If you say '[name]', you lose a testicle."
  • "Be a man, take some Pepto-Bismol, get dressed and come on over here, I'm tired of this stuff."
  • "Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief."
  • "I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?"
  • "We'll drive home backwards."
  • "Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to."
  • "Pardon my French, but you're an asshole!"
  • "If you're not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend."
  • "Here's where [name] goes berserk."
  • "You just sounded like Dirty Harry just then."
  • "You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym?"
  • "I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life."
  • "I weep for the future."
  • "Now, I didn't hit you. I lightly slapped you."
  • "Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter."
  • "Pardon my French, but [name] is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his/her/their ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."
  • "Incredible, one of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second."
  • "Look, don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it."
  • "Where's your brain?"
  • "You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do."
  • "Don't worry about it, I don't even have a piece of shit. I have to envy yours."
  • "The man could squash my nuts into oblivion."
  • "If anyone needs a day off, it's [name]. He/She/They has/have a lot of things to sort out before he graduates. Can't be wound up this tight and go to college, his roommate will kill him/her/them."
  • "You're still here? It's over!"

whitewinterstar  asked:

Let me just say that your writing is fucking awesome first of all. And, if requests are open might I ask for the RFA trying to celebrate MC's bday? (Bonus points if they don't find out when it is till like three days before)

thank you so much!!

~requests r CLOSEDT rn thanks~

Yoosung

  • Yoosung is one of those kids who never knows what day it is
  • when he asks his classmate the date and they say september 16
  • wait….its the 16th…..?
  • oh god, MC’s birthday is in two days
  • he hAS DONE NOTHING TO PREPARE!!
  • panicked, Yoosung logs into the messenger
  • thank god Jaehee and Jumin were there
  • “JAEHEE! JUMIN!! MC’S BIRTHDAY IS IN TWO DAYS!” -Yoo
  • “yes, Yoosung. we’re aware” -Jumin
  • “well??? what are we going to do?? T_T” -Yoo
  • “maybe a small get-together?” -Jaehee
  • “oh!! i know! lets do a surprise party!!!” -Yoo
  • MC has entered the chatroom
  • Yoosung realizes his mistake
  • Yoosung has left the chatroom
  • yea, trying to plan a surprise party in a public messenger was not his best idea yet
  • but there is one way Yoosung can make a big deal out of MC’s birthday that requires minimal planning
  • Yoosung and MC are both awake when it’s midnight on the day of their bday cause lets face it do those two even know what sleep is?
  • he tackles MC with a hug, who was sitting on the couch
  • “happy birthday!!!”
  • they laugh
  • “thanks, Yoosung!”
  • “want your present now?”
  • Yoosung was like, shaking with excitement
  • MC wanted to wait till the morning but they thought if they said no Yoosung would explode
  • “sure?”
  • Yoosung reaches into the pocket of his hoodie and pulls out two pieces of paper
  • “are these…tickets?”
  • “yup! tickets to my favorite amusement park!”
  • so Yoosung and MC go to the park for their birthday
  • they even wear matching outfits, Yoosung buys them way too much cotton candy, and MC wears a big button that says “todays my birthday!”

Zen

  • Zen cant figure out why MC was been so weird around him lately???
  • whenever he talks about his upcoming show they get really quiet and almost sassy?
  • and he’s like? did i do something wrong?
  • yes, Zen, you did
  • finally, Zen figures out whats going on when he goes out to get the mail
  • theres a letter there from MC’s mother
  • he doesnt open the letter, but its been sealed closed with a little birthday cake sticker
  • wait wait woah woah hold on
  • is this….a birthday card?
  • WAIT YEA IT IS
  • CAUSE MC’S BIRTHDAY IS NEXT WEEK
  • shit
  • his show was on the same day…thats why MC got all weird whenever he talked about it
  • Zen, you dumby
  • instead of apologizing to MC right then, Zen devises a plan
  • for the next week he lets MC think he still doesnt know about their birthday
  • not until the very end of his show
  • MC of course came to support him even though they were highkey pissed
  • after all the bows, Zen takes the mic at the end of the show
  • “i’m so greatful to all of you for coming out to support this fantastic cast and crew standing beside me now”
  • Zen pushes his hair back and 100 girls scream
  • “but theres one person i want to give a very special thank you too”
  • Zen looks at MC, who was in the first row
  • they were always in the first row
  • “thank you so much for being my rock, baby. and happy birthday to the most wonderful partner i could ever dream of calling mine”
  • the audience joins in a resounding “AAAWWWWWWWWWWHHHH”
  • and Zen pulls MC up on stage and smooches them in front of hundreds of people

Jaehee

  • this was all stupid Mr. Hans fault!!!!
  • if he hadnt given Jaehee so much friggin work she never would have forgotten
  • Jaehee doesnt forget anything, ever
  • its literally her job to remember everything and be organized
  • but this whole month has been so busy and when Jaehee opened her planner to a new page for the week, she saw that she had circled wednesday and written “MC’S BIRTHDAY!” in big letters
  • todays monday
  • sh…shit…
  • she only has two days???
  • you cant plan a proper party in two days??????
  • how is she supposed to find a venue and a caterer and a DJ and decorations and fly MC’s entire family in and possible a guest speaker but definitely a celebrity appearance?????
  • UGH!!!
  • she logged into the messenger and instantly started giving everyone jobs
  • “woah woah Jaehee, slow your roll” -707
  • “we cant plan something that big in just two days T_T_T” -Yoo
  • “yea….lets just do something on a smaller scale….” -Zen
  • are you all kidding?
  • MC deserves the most extravagant, the most wonderful,
  • they need a fun party
  • realizing she the RFA wont help her, Jaehee takes matters into her own hands
  • on the day of MC’s birthday they got a surprise visit from Zen
  • “hey, cutie! what do you say we go shopping? my treat!”
  • MC was so happy! but why hasnt Jaehee said anything yet today?
  • did she forget? :(
  • when MC and Zen get back to their apartment, MC turns on the lights and is greeted by all of their closest friends
  • “surprise!!!
  • everyone was there, the room was decorated beautifully and there was even a big spread of food and a birthday cake
  • MC starts thanking everyone, their whole body flooding with a warm happiness
  • “dont thank us, thank Jaehee. she did literally all of this….we just kind of showed up” Yoosung says, already gravitating to the food
  • he was so hungry but every time he tried to touch it Jaehee would smack his hand away and tell him to wait for MC and Zen
  • MC tackles Jaehee in a big bear-hug
  • “i knew you’d never forget! i love you, Jaehee!”
  • Jaehee blushyy!
  • she giggles a bit and tells MC she loves them too
  • :3

Jumin

  • Jumin and MC were having dinner together when Jumin realized something
  • he doesnt know when MC’s birthday is! :o
  • “darling, i just thought of something. when is your birthday?”
  • MC finishes chewing their food before speaking
  • “april 4th!” they say with a bright smile
  • Jumin smiles back
  • “how wonderful”
  • …..wait
  • april 4th?
  • thats
  • THATS IN THREE DAYS
  • Jumin almost CHOKES on his food
  • “sweetheart, thats in three days”
  • “i know”
  • ???????
  • “why havent you said anything to me about it?”
  • “oh…i dont know. i never really did anything for my birthday”
  • Jumin tries to hide his shock
  • i mean he never really does anything for his birthday either
  • but this was MC
  • their existence needs to be celebrated
  • okay this is fine. everything is fine. Jumin has three days to plan the perfect birthday party. everything is fine i said its fine alright
  • he asks assistant Kang for help because he has no idea how to birthday party
  • finally, he’s got it: the perfect birthday plan
  • phase one: breakfast in bed
  • MC wakes up to the smell of bacon. when Jumin sees they’re awake he fetches a tray with bacon, strawberry pancakes, coffee, and fruit
  • he even used spray whipped cream to make a little cat-head shape
  • Jumin is lowkey proud of himself for preparing that
  • phase two: festival
  • the spring festival was going on so he takes MC out and the two explore all the booths and eat yummy foods and he buys them a few small gifts
  • phase three: dinner
  • dinner at MC’s favorite restaurant
  • this phase is also when Jumin gives MC their actually present, which was a big sweater they had been eyeing but never had the courage to buy
  • they love it
  • phase four: the park
  • the last activity is just walking in the park together, holding hands, looking at the stars, and talking about anything and everything
  • it was the most fun MC’s ever had on their birthday

707

  • Seven has been prepping for MC’s birthday since he met them eight months ago
  • and its finally here
  • all this careful planning
  • its finally time for the execution of the plan
  • he gets up at like 4 AM, careful not to wake MC
  • fast forward four hours
  • MC is surprised when they wake up and Seven isnt next to them
  • they roll out of bed and stumble into the hall, rubbing sleep out of their eyes
  • when MC gets into the main room, the first thing that catches their eye is a giant cake
  • are…is this a dream?
  • MC rubs their eyes again
  • nope, theres definitely a big ass cake in my living room
  • “happy birthday, meow!”
  • MC looks down to see robot cat 
  • its was carrying a piece of paper in its tiny mouth
  • MC leans down and thanks the cat for wishing them a happy birthday, then takes the paper out of its mouth and unfolds it
  • they read aloud the phrase on the paper, which was written in sloppy hand writing
  • “say the name and he will appear…?”
  • MC rubs the bridge of their nose
  • “Saeyoung?”
  • silence
  • “Seven….?”
  • nothing
  • “Seven Zero Seven?”
  • more silence, more nothing
  • they let out a sigh
  • “Defender of Justice, are you here?”
  • Seven smashes through the top of the cake in a flurry of punching and kicking
  • “I AM HERE! THE DEFENDER OF JUSTICE HAS COME TO ENSURE THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD BIRTHDAY!”
  • he was wearing a blue morph suit and a red cape, with a 707 emblem poorly embroidered onto the chest
  • holy shit, Seven
  • its eight in the morning
  • can you have like, even a little chill PLEASE
  • “i want breakfast…” MC grumbles, hearing their stomach growl
  • Seven puts his hands on his hips triumphantly
  • “you wish is my command, fair citizen! TO THE KITCHEN!”
  • Seven points in the air and runs into the kitchen
  • he runs back out a second later
  • he grabs MC’s hands and says in a soft, sweet voice
  • “happy birthday, baby. you can go back to sleep and i’ll wake you when breakfast is ready”
  • with that, he gives them a gentle kiss of the forehead and sprints back into the kitchen

THANKS FOR READING :))))))))))

This is Where We Fell in Love (But Not the First Time)

Ichiruki. Reincarnation!AU. Angst. Part one of probably three? Maybe four. This part is just over 2k words. 

| One | Two


Oh sweetheart
I’d go lengths and lengths and lengths of love
Since we started this thing now 
-
Length of Love - Interpol


Rukia knows, instinctively, when she finds him again on a rainy night in Karakura Town, that this time, this time, they’re going to make it. She can feel the tightening of the red thread around her wrist; feel the way his soul calls out to hers and the way hers answers. He can see her (of course he can see her, he’s never not been able to see her, but it’s still a surprise because it’s been so long since she’s seen him and he’s right here, in front of her) and she can’t quite manage to keep her hands from reaching out. He takes it as a threat (because of course he would) and she barely dodges his clumsy attack.

She ignores his questions, and unfurls her senses, trying to find the Hollow - she doesn’t have time to explain now, she has to find this thing before it destroys him (before she has to watch him die again, because the thread around her wrist is starting to fray and she doesn’t know what it means). 

Keep reading

Blacking out on acid: "THE EXPERIENCE"

So last Saturday night, I took 2 hits acid after work. I did it with some new friends at a house I’d never been to. My friend Allison from work took some with me for her first time that night. The first 4 hours were amazing. We just chilled in the living room, staring at the ceiling and laughing while the others drank booze in the kitchen.


Mid-trip, my other friend informed me that some guys were going to come over. Which is not cool with me. Not when I’m tripping balls. They showed up, and I thought, “Whatever, big deal. I’ll just stay away from them.” And I did, but that didn’t stop my discomfort. Soon after they showed up is when I blacked out. I remember bits and pieces, but most of the night I only know because of what my friends told me. We were in the kitchen when I started screaming, “We gotta get out of here! We gotta get out of here!” which I faintly remember. Apparently there was a trashed white girl there who puked all over her chest and was trying to hug people. Fuck that. So I tried to get out of the house, furiously pushing people out of my way; including the angry mother who lived there. She threatened to kick my ass, so did her daughter. And then they kicked me out of the house, into the cold.


So I ran down the street screaming at the top of my lungs with no shoes or a jacket. I remember my throat hurting. I became panic. Keep in mind that I am 30 minutes away from my home and it is about 5 a.m. So, like drunk idiots, they had the guys at the party go find me. Guys that I do not even know the names of. Which I’m highly upset about because who knows what those guys did to me. But to my current knowledge, they found me and dropped me off on 9th Street like a stray cat. I fucking hate people. Then my friends came to find me. They searched for me for an hour before they found me in a back alley. I tried to run from them when they drove by. After they got me in the car, I was screaming and flailing my arms and hitting myself in the face. I was speaking gibberish and tried hitting people and taking my clothes off. No recollection of that. They had no choice but to take me to the hospital. Doctors strapped me down to a bed and took my clothes off to put me in a hospital gown. They stuck needles in me, too. I remember the doctors faces a little. I remember a heavy man with a beard asking “what’d you take?” I say, “Acid, heroin.” I didn’t take heroin. I think I wanted heroin so I could calm down, though I’ve never tried it. I remember repeating words like “red”, “blue,” “Allison,” “Matt,” “Eugene,” “heroin,” “tampon,” “Cody,” “Mike,” “eyebrows,” “Camy,” “needles,” “Alorica,” “purecell,” “Nikki Minaj,” “booty,” over and over and over. I kept saying, “What’s up?” and “I don’t have the time or the money.” I remember all of this pretty well.


Still tripping, I remember thinking that my life was a test. And that taking acid that night instead of going home to my boyfriend, Eugene, was a mistake that ended my life at 18. It was aliens that were God and the devil, though. I was their test subject, all humans were. My mother was the alien of death. She sat by my side at the hospital while Teen Titens Go played on tv. I hate that show. The clock on the wall was melting, indicating that my time was almost up. It felt as though I had been there for years. Familiar faces came to visit me, then soon never returned. I’d say calmly, “It’s my time to die. Let me die.” I turned old. I felt my cheeks, and my skin had become saggy and wrinkly. Very soon, nobody visited. Only the alien of death remained by my hospital bed. I looked at her and asked, “Where is Eugene?” And in a monotone voice, she answered, “He’s at work.” To my psychadelic mind, that meant that I had died and he lived on. Somewhere inside, I believed that he would have no recollection of me. Like a dying, old relative, I was to be easily forgotten. So I laid there and experienced death. Now in a slightly different hospital setting, a doctor came by and gave me three pills. He started talking to my mother about things I am insecure about. “Has she always had that lazy eye?” “Did you say she had bipolar disorder?” “What medicine does she take?” “Did she graduate high school?” The alien said, “She dropped out.” Doc said, “GED?” “She’s working on it.” Oh, thats right. I gave up on my GED. How embarrassing. I was ashamed. It was then that I realized that I had slipped into Hell. Hell was being tied down to a hospital bed with needles in my arms. Hell was them having discussions about all of my insecurities while I lay catatonic. Hell was never seeing the people I love again. Hell was knowing my life was a waste. Hell was realizing that my existence was no greater than that of a lab rat. All I wanted was to sleep, but I was unable to. They took that luxury away from me completely. I could only close my eyes. The alien of death came over to me, gave me a phone, and said, “It’s Eugene.” I listened to him talk to me, knowing it would be the last time I’d hear his voice. But from the sound of it, it was just a recording made to mock me. “Why didn’t I just go home to him?” Regret swallowed me whole. I turned my head away in a desperate attempt to sleep. This was it. This was now my life. Unable to die, unable to move, or sleep in the very depths of Hell. Hell isn’t fire and burning flesh. Hell is your biggest fears laughing in your face. It was eerie in such a real way. I “woke up” with my arms and legs strapped to the hospital bed. I was so confused as to why I couldn’t remember the rest of my awesome trip! Because at the time, I only had memory of the kelidascooe ceiling and the echoing laughter of me and Allison. At first, I wondered to myself if I had telaported to some sort of different demension. I thought, “Shit, that must have been crazy for Allison to see.” Man, this sucks! I gotta get to work on Tuesday! I’m gonna lose my job! Eugene is going to be so worried. Where is my phone? Where did my clothes go? I turned to see my mom. I smiled and said, “I just woke up here. This is a mistake.” Four doctors came in and circled me. I started cursing and yelling, “This is a mistake. I’m a teenage girl. I just woke up here. This is bullshit. I just woke up here. This is a mistake. I have an apartment to get to.” I was beyond confused. They told me I had taken some drugs and ended up in the hospital. I didn’t believe them. I did take acid, but how could that land me in the hospital? So here I am now, in some alternate demension that I feared I could never escape. How could I with restraints, an IV, and a catheter holding me hostage to this bed? I convinced myself that my mother was a clone and that I really was in Hell after all. She tried to talk to me, but I didn’t trust clones, so I stayed silent. Eugene eventually came to visit. He was also just a clone. I thought that the aliens did a wonderful job recreating him. He was a perfect image of my Eugene. I didn’t speak to him other than when he said, “I love you.” It was hard not saying it back. I knew that it was only a clone, so when he kissed me, it filled me with sadness. He left hours later. I was sure it would be the last I’d see of him.

So after some sleep, I got a feel of what might have happened. When I regained conciousnes, I at first thought that what little I did remember from that night was a weird acid dream. Was it real? Did that actually happen? It seemed bizarre. Did I totally blackout? I had never heard of any such thing happening to anyone. And that explains why I was so confused when I woke up. The guys at the party stole my phone and my bag. My bag has my social, drivers license, debit card, and Medicaid card. I am done with acid. Just the other day it was my favorite thing to do. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not gonna miss it. It was awesome. And I’m not going to advise people not to take it. It really is life changing. But you have to be careful. Instances like this are incredibly rare, as I can’t find too much about blacking out on the Internet. But it does happen. I dont know why, but it does. I never thought acid could truly hurt me, but it did. If my friend didn’t find me, I could have died in the cold. I could have ended up in jail. I could have ended up dead due to my heart rate. Doctors say I was so distraught that I almost had a heart attack. Be careful. Acid is unpredictable. Only do it in a definite safe environment. You never know what could happen.

anonymous asked:

Mavinseg "Falling for my target" assassin AU. Gavin is out to get Lindsay who's out to get Meg who's out to get Michael who's out to get Gavin.

HAHA!!!

gavin’s hacked into all the cctv cameras around the areas he knows lindsay frequents and justis like “yeah this’ll be easy.” and then ‘accidentally’ sends the next four days watching lindsay go about stalking meg and killing various other targets and after admirably watching her kill one small gang with nothing but garrote wire, a stiletto heel that is most definitely not hers -and gav doesn’t know where the fuck she got it from too she didn’t have it going in and the gang members are all guys-, and a pack of hubba bubba gavin realizes two things, 

1) he’s never chewing hubba bubba ever again as long as he lives and 

2) he can never tell burnie about this ever, he’ll just have to lie. “what burnie i do not remember standing right next to you as you told me in explicit detail about my target you must be on something you dont have video evidence of that meeting i deleted everything what do you mean”

and lindsay gets pictures of meg. is like, no, no it’ll be fine, and then stumbles across meg’s mimp shoots which still exist here fight me, and 

the gay truck comes outta nowhere and runs her ass the fuck over. 

but shes like “no its fine. ill just ignore it. her, and her gorgeous ass,. itll be fine.” but she corners meg once, ends up pinning her, knives out and ready to cut into shit,and just, Meg’s lithe body under her trying to squirm out of her hold and her hair is splayed out every which way and just, whiskey eyes staring lindsay square in the soul, and Meg’s not scared oh no Meg is like “hah this is lit.”
and then Meg smirks and yeah lindsay did not kill her that day lindsay got tossed on her ass and gavin saw the WHOLE thing and barring the fact that that bird she tried to kill is absolutely fit gavin still laughed his ass of so hard he fell out of his desk chair

meg is initially the best outta all of them i mean dollface gotta keep up appearances but DAMN that chick that tried to kill her was hot. but anyway, unfortunately her target is also hot. thankfully its like staring into a really sexy mirror, which is well, just a mirror actually. this dude, he’s a loud shouty asshole with a penchant for explosives i mean meg watched from her hiding perch as he cleaned ammu-nation out of sticky bombs and this literal loser actually started giggling as he dragged his bombs back to his adder and oh god are those dimples?? really? but after watching him blow up a warehouse full of coke for seemingly absolutely no reason other than to pick a fight, sit on the hood of his car playing the legend of zelda theme song while waiting for the irate gang to arrive and watch him kill them all and then blow up their corpses i mean, meg’s heart melts a little, and then a lot when he stops in the middle of a police chase to coo over this random strangers dog

and then michael, michael has the shittest time of his life trying to fucking FIND this bastard he’s supposed to be killing i mean god michael might not be the best tracker but this guy is just an asshole making michael’s life harder and christ michael was given a packet and a flash drive of info on this target of his, pictures, sound clips and he’s english?? thats fucking stupid whatever and his nose is the biggest thing michael has ever seen in his life, michael could camp under it it’s fucking ridiculous, and his eyes????? a stupid forest green color or the bay on a clear day and his laugh, he fucking sQUEAKS michael hates this dudes guts and then the cunt actually starts contacting michael, apparently he found the bugs michael laid out and he’s an asshole and hes a pompous annoying piece of shit who thinks he’s so clever and funny not that michael laughs at everything he says on the inside and he doesn’t even speak english!! he speaks made up words and he cant pronounce michaels goddamn name right, “mi-cool.” however adorable it might sound, is not his name!! and like the more he talks to this bastard the more he, and this free dude starts face-timing michael, this pompous jackass is so confident that michael wont find him that he actually facetimes him and hes REALLY FUCKING CUTE OH GODDDD 

and then they all meet up trying for one last “we’re competent killers gdi we can DO this,” and then they get there and then stare awkwardly at each other and gavin goes “so you wanna go get bevs?” and they all agree and then its gay poly history

Jaebum Scenario

Scenario

Tears were streaming down your face as you ran down the streets, trying hard to control yourself because you don’t want to gain attention from someone else.
Did he really do that? Did he really break up with you via text? ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY? This couldn’t be true! This should all be a bad nightmare and you wish you could wake up right now. But you were still there, almost running trough the streets, trying to hide your tears from all those curious glances.
You already knew that something was up because he started to act weird lately but you didn’t knew the reason. Unfortunately today was the day he told you the reason.
The first time you met him was a few months before his band had his debut. He was a trainee back then and he didn’t care if he’d become an Idol sooner or later. He always told you that his feeling wouldn’t change, no matter what.
But it seems like his mind changend and his pride became bigger. He wasn’t even able to break up with you face to face. He just send you a short text, telling you that he wouldn’t come to your date and that he thinks that its better for the both of you and his career to break up because he is an Idol and you are just a normal girl. You asked him why he changed his mind, whats the matter of all this and why all of the sudden? He told you that this wouldn’t work and that he fell for an actress he was working with in that new drama coming out.
This broke your heart in so many pieces that you knew that you’d never be able to quite fix it and that you’d have trust issues for the rest of your life.

When you arrived at home your view stopped at the mirror. Your reflection was horrible. Your eyes were swollen and red from all the tears you had been crying and your hair looks like a mess from all the running.
Now everything made sense. It was totally understandable for you now. As you looked at your reflection you knew why he broke up with you. If you would’ve been him, you would’ve done the same. He definetly deserves someone better than you. You were just a normal girl, there was nothing special and beside him you must look like a dumb dog. The truth hit you and you asked yourself why you haven’t realized it earlier, that would’ve saved you from a lot of trouble.


~Jaebum’s View~

“Dude, did you seriously break up with her just because she isn’t famous? Please tell me that this is a joke!” Jackson hit my chest, waiting for an answer.
I clenched my teeth, trying hard to hold back the anger that wanted to come up.
“None of your buisness Jackson!”-
He sighed. “Okay, okay. I hope you didn’t make a huge mistake” he said as he held up his hands as if he gave up our agrument.

I admit that our relationship was beautiful and that I really loved her, but time went by and everything changed. I’m an Idol and on a longer term it wouldn’t have worked. I needed someone to move on in order to grow. Not only in my personality but also to grow in my career and all that’s been involved. A few months ago we started filming a drama and there I met this actress. At first I didn’t care about her but as I got to know her I really started to like her. She was like me. She knew all the struggles that an Idol had and she understood all my feelings because she had experienced them herself. That was the first time since I became an Idol that I met someone who felt the same way as me. I realized that we were soulmates and that we were meant to be.
Thats why I had to break her heart, to save mine and live my life completely as an Idol.


~One year later~

I was sitting with my Members in the crowd, listening to the speaker on the stage. He was talking about a succesful rookie group that already won a few awards. Everybody was listening carefully, as did I. I never heard about this group but it’s impressive how famous they already were.
“So now, please welcome the Leader of the Girlband, Y/N!” the speaker said and the audience started to applaude.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw my Ex girlfriend walking up the stairs trowards the stage. She looked absolutley stunning and if the speaker hadn’t said her name I would’ve never ever recognized her.
I felt someone shake my shoulder but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
“Isn’t this Y/N?” I heard Jackson say full of suprise. The others started to mumble and whisper but I was still too shocked.

“Thank you very much” her soft voice began to speak.
“It’s an honor to be here today and I want to thank everyone and especially our fans who supports us everyday!”
The last year I already realized a couple of times that it was a big mistake that I ended my relationship with Y/N and today was the proof.
After I ended filming the drama I wasn’t able to see the actress again and it seemed like she already had replaced me. That was when I started to miss Y/N and felt guilty for hurting her, but I also knew that I could never make it up to her. I treated her like shit and I was ashamed of myself. I wasn’t even able to apologize and I thought it would’ve been the best for her if I stayed away from her and her life so she could move on. But now when I see her standing there, looking totally stunning I’ve realized again that I messed up. I took a deep breath. Maybe I could apologize to her later, maybe I can work this out. If I don’t try I won’t know right? I decided at to least try it.

“And I also want to thank my beloved boyfriend, who helped me through this hard time. I wouldn’t be standing here if I wouldn’t have met you” she said. All my hopes fell down like nothing. I wasn’t even able to breathe normal. I felt Jacksons hands on my shoulder to encourage me. It was as if I travelled back in time and I could clearly imagine his voice saying “I hope you didn’t make a huge mistake”.
My heart clenched when I realized again that Jackson was right, I did the biggest mistake in my life and now it was too late.

~LadyTae

38. - I’ll Take Care of You all Through the Night.

I know I dream about her all day
I think about her with her clothes off
I’m ridin’ ‘round with my system pumpin’ LSD
I look for ways to say, “I love you”
But I ain’t into makin’ love songs
Baby, I’m just rappin’ to this LSD

Raheem:

Some weeks had passed and before I knew it Knoelle and I were waking up to our four month anniversary together. Letting out an inaudible yawn, I carefully stretched out my limbs before turning over and admiring the sight beside me.

In a baby blue cami and boy shorts, Knoelle slept soundly as she cuddled up to my side and her jet black hair wildly covered her pillow. Licking over my bottom lip, I carefully brushed the strands of hair away from her flawless face and tucked them neatly behind her ear.

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Everything Has Changed

i know places we can hide

i just wanna know you better now (part one)
i’ve never seen nobody shine the way you do (part two)
you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town (part three)

part four: jude has a birthday. connor’s parents have a meltdown.

WARNING: strong language and possibly upsetting argument between connor’s parents. also, depressing af.

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Say Something
A Great Big World
Say Something

Title: Say Something

Setting: Milkovich House and Bar (not The Alibi) A year and a half after Season 4 Finale.

POV: Ian and Mickey

Ian was dancing with Yev, swirling the giggling baby around the Milkovich living room. He held the sixteen-month-old under his armpits and spun him around and around to the music on the radio. 

Yev was shrieking with delight, “Fasta dadda Fasta”

Mickey came in the front door after a long day at work, to the giggling and squealing of his boys. He gave Ian a quick kiss on the cheek and dropped onto the couch,  in exhaustion. Mickey had started working at the construction site, it was hard fucking work, but it payed the bills…well most of them.

Mickey watched adoringly as Ian and Yev danced for a whole song. Then once the song was over he stood up. Mickey took Yev gently from Ian’s arms and set him on the couch. “Papa’s turn.”

He stepped close to Ian, holding his hand gently, and placed the other hand on his hip. He pulled Ian in close just as ‘Say Something’ by A Great Big World started playing on the radio. Mickey led Ian around the living room, more gracefully than Ian could ever imagine, while Yevy bounced up and down on the couch clapping his chubby little hands. 

They gazed lovingly at each other throughout the entire dance, unable to turn away. Their bodies moved to the music, swaying and spinning with each other in perfect harmony. 

When the song was done the two boys stepped apart breathing heavily.

“Ma turn! Ma turn!” Yevy cried out stretching his arms high in the air. Mickey grabbed one arm, while Ian held the other and the swung Yev up in the air.

“So, Ian…I have this fucking awards night or staff party shit for work tomorrow night…so I’ll be home a little late.”

“Oh?” Ian asked curiously, “are you getting an award.”

“Fuck No!” Mickey said.

“Fack no, Fack! Fack!” Yevy yelled giggling. Ian looked at Mickey, sighing.

Mickey shrugged, “What did you expect? he’s a Milkovich.” 

Ian smirked and kissed Yev on the head. “Fack Fack!” 

Mickey picked up Yev, carrying on his shoulders, “okay shithead, time for bed.” He said walking him to the bedroom. 

“Fack Shet Fack.” Mickey tucked him into his bed and kissed him gently on the head.

“At least we know, you are definitely my son.” He said rolling his eyes. Mickey walked back to the living room and sat next to Ian on the couch.

“He’s going to be a menace in kindergarten, I feel bad for his teachers already!” Ian said smiling.

“Yeah..No shit!” Mickey said, he could see it already…because it reminded him of himself in kindergarten. No teacher could stop the obscenities from leaving his mouth.

“So what should I wear to the awards night tomorrow?” Ian asked bumping shoulders with Mickey.

“Ugh, it’s just for employees and their fucking wives and shit. ..you don’t have to go…”

Ian pushed Mickey down on the couch until Mickey was lying on his back and he was straddling him, “and when has that stopped me.” Ian said smiling willfully, he looked at his boyfriend’s face and frowned. “Do you not want me to go, or something?”

No one at Mickey’s work knew about Ian. They all thought Mickey was just a straight white male like every other fucking person in the company. “Of course I want you to come…but someone needs to take care of Yev…”

“Oh” Ian said, staring down at Mickey suspiciously, “I see”

Mickey lay, still pinned by Ian and lifted his head up to kiss the redhead on the mouth. “Don’t worry tough guy, I’ll bring you next time."Ian smiled and sat up. Mickey sitting up too reached for Ian’s pants. They fucked for hours until they collapsed exhausted in each other’s arms. Sleeping together limbs wrapped around each other comfortably like two puzzle pieces fitting together in harmony.

The next day, Mickey walked straight from work to the bar, where the awards night was taking place. He walked in a couple minutes late and nodded in greeting to a few of his coworkers. He sat down at the bar and ordered a beer.

"Hey Milkovich!” Mickey turned to see his boss waving him over to his table.

Mickey walked over slowly, pint in hand, “Hey Tom,” He said sitting down, across from him.

“You’re late,” Tom said frowning, “You missed your award.” He said handing Mickey a framed certificate that had 'Most Improved Employee’ written on it.

“Thanks,” Mickey said rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I wanted to.give you 'Best Curser’ or.'Most Obscenities in a work day, but you know those home office fags.”

“Ahem.” The large woman with crazy clown makeup that sat beside Mickey’s boss coughed, elbowing Tom intentionally.

“This is my wife Janice.” Tom said, gesturing to the big haired, big breasted big headed woman beside him.

“Charmed, I’m sure.” She said her words slurring as If she had drunk too much already.

Mickey nodded politely, and Tom turned to him, “Where’s the Mrs?” He asked.

“Svetlana is uhh ..working tonight,” Mickey mumbled with a shrug. He had begun watching as microphones and speakers were set up on the stage.

“Karaoke?” he asked pointing, in disbelief, “You gottta be fucking kidding me.”

Tom shrugged, “The wives love it.” And as if he had summoned them, two women stood up and began searching through the karaoke song list.

Mickey was already groaning when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Ian smiling at him. “Sorry, I’m late. I got Fi to watch Yev.” He peered at Mickey’s certificate, “ Most Improved? Thats awesome! Congrats!”

Ian leaned in purposely going for a quick kiss, and Mickey stood up from his chair hurriedly and turned to the table grabbing Ian’s arm tightly. “Tom, Janice, this is my cousin, Ian.”

Ian looked at his boyfriend, pain, frustration and anger clear on his face. He nodded stiffly toward the couple, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Well any cousin of Mickey’s is a cousin of ours.” Tom said and Janice burst in a fit of laughter and snorting. Ian sat down beside Mickey carefully, as not to touch him or even look at him. Ian was fuming. He thought they were fucking over this! The lies, secrets and deceit, What the fuck!

Ian looked over at Mickey who was smiling that fake smile and laughing that fake laugh. He wore his straight mask, that Ian had thought he had thrown away long ago. It broke Ian’s heart to see his partner act like he didn’t exist. It hurt so much to know how hard they had worked to be together, and have it seem to be undone in a matter of minutes.

“Did either of you boys want to do karaoke?” Janice asked, “the sign up list is being passed around.” She waved a clipboard in the air.

Ian didn’t even think as he said the words “I will.” But he took a certain joy in seeing Mickey’s nervous face as he signed his name up.

He knew the song he was going to do, and he just felt so frustrated at Mickey…that he wasn’t thinking this through. All he knew was he was not going back in the fucking closet. 

So when it was his turn, he marched purposefully on the stage and tapped the mike. He looked down at the heteros, all of mickey’s coworkers and took a deep breath. Then he found Mickey’s face in the crowd and began to sing. “Say something, I’m giving up on you”

 Mickey could not tear his eyes from Ian. I’ll be the one, if you want me to. “Anywhere I would’ve followed you Say something, I’m giving up on you.” 

He recognized this as the song that they had danced to just last night, but he had never really listened to they lyrics. And I will stumble and fall. I’m still learning to love. Just starting to crawl.”

Who the fuck listens to lyrics anymore anyway. But he listened to every word his boyfriend sang and as Ian teared up at the chorus. Mickey’s heart began to break.“Say something, I’m giving up on you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you. Anywhere I would’ve followed you. Say something, I’m giving up on you.”

“Wow,” Janice whispered to her husband. “He must really love this girl.”

Tom scoffed, “Just sounds gay to me.”

Normally, Mickey might have said something or glared at him, or some shit…but he couldn’t look away from Ian.

Tears had begun to run down Ian’s face and he wiped them away furiously. “Say something…”

As Ian finished the song, wiping the tears away he saw Mickey standing close beside him, somehow without thinking about it Mickey had walked across the bar and climbed on stage beside Ian. Ian turned to see his partner staring concerned at him.

Ian looked sheepishly to the ground, wiping the last tear from his face. Mickey was just staring at him hands at his sides. “Say something. ” Ian said.

“Sorry”

Mickey pressed his face to Ian’s. They stood facing each other closely arms wrapped around each other, tongues in each other’s mouths, on stage while all of Mickey’s coworkers gawked.

In the back Janice stared wide eyed and horrified she turned to her husband, “But they’re cousins!!

Thought I would try something a little different doing the fanfiction with the audio, let me know what you think and I may do more. 

Please send requests any time. Thanks!!

Lucky

I heard this adorable little experience about what they had done to meet the love of their life. Naturally I needed to turn it into a Crisscolfer ficlet. Hope you like it :) ~1,715 words. 

“So are you going to the cast party tonight?” Darren asked, laying down on the couch, flipping through channels on Chris’ television set.

For someone who he’d only been dating for a few weeks, Chris loved how at ease Darren was in his house. He made it a home. He wouldn’t distance himself, especially when Chris wanted him nearby, and he loved that about the man currently lounging on his sofa.

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