The ominous whisper woke him from sleep. This was the fifth time this month. Eddie hissed in annoyance and turned on his side. Slipping his head quietly under the pillow. It only tuned out the outside world and it’s saturating pour it had on his nerves. Covering his head had only isolated the treacherous sound, making the words it spoke even more sinister.
Don’t ignore me Edster.
He hated that nickname but not as much as the voice. Ignoring it would only infuriate it and that would mean inevitable bloodshed. “What? What do you want?”
Regret catches him by the tail, sleeping tonight wasn’t happening. Not for the dear life of him.
You know what I want Eddie
“No.” he growled. Of course, he knew what the symbiote wanted. It’s vulgar and explicit thoughts were embedded deep within his brain. Bleeding into his own.
You crave Y/N just much as I do. You can have Y/N…We can have Y/N—
“I said no!”
Silence struck him hard but even though the presence was gone he still couldn’t sleep. The thought of you ever loving a man like him made questions, and thoughts rattle his brain like a maraca. Following the beat of his heart.
“Thank you. Come again.” You chirped with a smile towards the grumpy old man who had been upset he had to get Goya beans instead of Grace beans. “Next.”
Eddie placed his groceries down on the conveyer belt, before looking around, and pulling his hood further over his head. Your chewed nails caught his eye at first, as well as the calluses on your palms. It made him think; you don’t get calluses from being a cashier at a Key Food. “You know Eddy’s is my favorite.”
He nearly vomited his heart. How’d you know his name? Why would you say something like that? When he looked at you he saw the carton of ice cream in your hand. Eddy’s Mint Chocolate Chip. “Yea…mines too.” He mumbled but your smile grew wider.
“Mint chocolate chip is so underrated. You my friend have good taste in ice cream.”
Your eyes made him smile. Your smile made the blood in his lips run, a pleasant hum. He wanted nothing more but to grab the back of your neck and just kiss you. Cooling the aching sensitive sensation that lasted days after seeing you. The expression on your face was sympathetic, kind but he knew it was only a cover. For what? That’s what he wanted to find out. He sniffles and reaches for the cash in his pocket but your hands flew over the counter to his stoping him.
“I hope I’m not misreading this whole situation,” you breathe out. “You’ve been coming here for the last couple of weeks leaving with a carton of ice cream. Specifically my favorite ice cream.”
Maybe he had been a little bit obvious but he didn’t think you’d ever notice. Not him. Not like this. He scoffed out a chuckle. “Uh yeah, that obvious huh?”
Relief flushed across your cheeks and you smiled, this time showing the pearly whites. “I think it’s sweet, but I think the Sesame Chicken at Lung’s is sweeter.”
He smiled and it was genuine, but the black thread of the symbiote poked out from his palm threw the space of his index and thumb reaching for your skin. Fading quickly, his smile was beginning to fall and he lurched back away from you. Fear reflecting from his eyes. “I-”
Eddie looked at you and the confused and concerned expression on your face. What was he doing? He couldn’t drag you into this. He couldn’t let it hurt you. He couldn’t hurt you. Without a second glance he stormed off, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. Disappearing into the darkness of the night.
i was watching sad witcher edits, and i thought of something so now you suffer with me
yennefer and jaskier stumble upon each other during geralt’s year in prison and they develop a friendship of sorts.
because of his affiliation with Yennefer, Julian Alfred Pankratz becomes a wanted man.
so he fakes his own death, and takes on the guise of Dandelion, a renegade bearded emo bard, with a kill-count to rival that of the nilgaardian army, who travels with Tissaia and Yennefer.
at some point after geralt finds ciri, he stumbles upon a tavern where a bard is singing ‘her sweet kiss’, and he realises he fucked up, and he asks where he can find the bard who wrote it. Tissaia just so happens to be there, sees him and assumes he’s a Nilfgaardian soldier of some sort, who is hunting for Yennefer. So she ‘breaks the news’
“stone-cold i’m afraid. killed by some villagers in *insert town here*, guess they were none too fond of witchers.”
And Geralt just kind of breaks down, he becomes lifeless and depressed. He just realized that Jaskier loved him, and he was too late. Even worse, the last thing he ever said to him was that he was the cause of all the bad things in his life.
So he’s heartbroken basically.
he leaves Ciri with Vesemir at Kaer Morhen before venturing out to find a monster vicious enough to kill him. He eventually finds a contract in the village that Jaskier was ‘killed’ in. He decides he will kill the monsters, kill whatever creature he was given in the contract and hopefully get killed in the process so he’ll get to see Jaskier again.
Tissaia casually mentions a white-haired soldier who asked about jaskier, and jaskier and yennefer immediately realize that geralt esaped cintra and nilfgaard. They track Geralt around the continent, hearing stories of how the once noble and kind, albeit stoic, witcher had turned into a heartless killing machine by his grief. Jaskier is hellbent on finding him, knowing that Geralt probably regrets what happened, and he doesn’t want geralt to get himself hurt. They hear about how Geralt was headed for the town where jaskier ‘died’ and realise what he’s going to do.
Geralt has just finished his contract and is now looking for whoever hurt his bard when some spiteful villager points him to the place where jaskier had been seen last. In reality, the lady accused had been helping the witches and given Yen, Jaskier, and Tissaia temporary sanctuary.
But of course, Geralt doesn’t know this, and he storms the house, he probably would’ve killed the whole family in his rage, fully prepared to end himself in the process.
Just as he was about to kill the poor humans, Jaskier and Yennefer get there. Geralt refuses to believe that Jaskier is real. first, he’s convinced that the villagers killed him, then he thinks some witch is playing a cruel trick on him.
He sobs, and laments how clearly humanity was all evil, and the only good human was long gone, and Jaskier just kind of holds him, trying to comfort him. He starts singing and only then does Geralt realize that this is 100% real, because a) no one could get Jaskier’s little mannerisms like this, the way he caressed his hair, the soft pats on the back, having being developed after 20 years of friendship and b) no one had ever heard this song before, jaskier wrote it and only played it for geralt, right before the dragon hunt
‘It can be our little thing, just for us, my dearest witchery witcher’
and geralt finally realises that he’s safe, it’s ok he has a second chance. He can apologise.
and he just cries and apologises over and over again, and jaskier just cries softly into his hair.
and then they all go to Kaer Morhen and live happily ever after the end
can you believe thomas loves newt so goddamn much. forget grand gestures like plucking the moon out of the sky if newt asked him to, which he would, but that’s beside the point. thomas would drive for hours to see newt. he’d literally stay up all night talking to him. he’d answer the phone at like 3am because newt went home for a while and forgot about the time difference. he’d spend a day in the garden, even though gardening by itself bores him to tears, because newt likes it, and being with newt is never boring. he likes to touch newt — hold his hand or pat him on the shoulder or brush his knuckles or kiss his forehead. (thomas also happens to like kissing newt. a lot. have you seen newt’s face? very kissable.) he’ll drape himself over newt’s back or side or lap and just kind of nap there while newt works or reads. come to think of it, he just really likes being WITH newt, around him, in his presence. it makes him feel better. there really is something reassuring about newt’s smiles — ALL his smiles, the happy ones, the amused ones, the mischievous ones, even the wry ones. laughs are even better. thomas’s life is always too quiet when newt’s not around.
My absolutely adorable Samus x Peach commission made by the wonderful @rif-art! my 2018 goal is to get more people to start shipping these two together with me..! I’ve been shipping them pretty much alone since smashbros Melee came out..so join me :)!
My name is Researcher Dib, paranormal investigator and discoverer of the truth about alien life visiting planet Earth. For over a decade I’ve been locked in a seemingly never-ending fight for this planet’s continued freedom with the alien menace Zim, an invader sent here by the Irken Empire to kickstart the Earth’s conquest. For years we’ve been at each other’s throats, besting each other at every turn, matched in every sense of the word.
Recently, however, things have taken a turn for the strange. A couple years ago, our battles changed; his plans became more bombastic and seemingly less meticulously planned out (most of them, anyways) and I have been able to best him every time so far. Understandably he’s become angrier and more frustrated over his repeated failures, yet the underhanded tactics he’s been using to get ahead of me make no sense whatsoever. Some of the strange tactics he’s partaken in include: bringing out his plans every week at the same day and time of the week, kidnapping me just to pump nutrients into my bloodstream, tidying up my living space while I’m away, and (presumably) taking me to his house some nights to sleep on his couch. This brings us to the reason I’ve created this document: To record the recent happenings regarding Zim’s daily lunchbox offerings.
After a few days of getting lunches from Zim, I’ve started cataloguing everything about them to try and figure out why he’s doing it. These are my findings so far:
The lunchboxes are left on my windowsill at around the same time every day, very quietly most of the time. They come wrapped up on big dish towels with either a heart or flower pattern on them. They contain a stainless steel box with the food already prepared and hot.
The food inside is carefully portioned out in at least four discernible categories: grains or pasta, meat, vegetable salad, and legumes or egg. Variations on this have included sandwiches (thrice) and a thermos flask with chicken and vegetable soup (twice). Most days it comes with sides, which include a portion of fruit (banana, apple, pear), two slices of white bread, and/or a small bottle with water.
All components of a lunch always pass clean through my poison and contaminants detectors, except for the water, which is always laced with vitamins.
Everything is thoroughly cooked and lightly seasoned, made from scratch with quality ingredients , and the containers are seemingly thoroughly sterilized before they are filled with food.
The alien Zim delivers the lunchboxes himself, leaving them on my windowsill when I’m distracted and without making any noise. Most of the time I only see what he’s left behind; I’ve caught him in the act of placing the containers only a couple times. Each time he’s just stared at me, said something like “hi” or “lunch,” and quickly departed.
So far I’ve run a couple experiments regarding the lunches. Here’s a short recounting of them and the results:
EXPERIMENT: Refusing to eat one of the lunches. RESULTS: Lunchbox disappears while I’m distracted, new box appears on windowsill with new contents alike to meals that I’ve consumed before. NOTES: Throwing lunchbox away, or not touching lunchbox for most of the day, lends the same results.
EXPERIMENT: Eating just a portion of the food: in a lunch composed of grapes, carrots, rice and meatballs, I only consumed the rice and meatballs. RESULTS: Lunchbox got replaced later with a new one, half filled with rice and meatballs (the meatballs had shredded carrot inside this time) and a banana.
EXPERIMENT: Tossed the lunchbox away with a note inside: “I don’t want your food!” RESULTS: Different lunchbox with new content appears later, with a note inside that reads: “too bad” with a frowny face drawn on it.
EXPERIMENT: Leave the empty lunchbox on windowsill after eating. RESULT: Lunchbox gets taken, comes back next day with new contents.
EXPERIMENT: Wash and put lunchbox away on my cabinet after eating. RESULTS: New lunchbox comes in next day, with new food. NOTES: Unlike with the lunchboxes, the towels they come wrapped in are always replaced with new ones regardless if I choose to keep them or not.
My theories (the meaning behind all this food):
Zim himself has stated that he’s doing this because “I suck at taking care of myself” and “it’s no fun to fight me when I’m weak.” Considering what he is and what he knows about me, it’s sure to be just a diversion, a way to hide his real reasons by getting me to look deeper into his words and assign the meaning that I want them to have. I’ve tried not to take them into consideration, then, when weighing the possibilities of this new behaviour of his. So far these are my main theories, organized by most to least likely to be correct:
An attempt to poison me slowly, over time. My reasons for believing this come from the fact that, despite all food always passing as clean through my poison detectors, after a few days of eating them I’ve started developing symptoms like stomach cramps, muscle soreness, and drowsiness (especially right after eating!). If he’s sneaking something in, it’s small enough to go unnoticed by my detectors but also too tiny to do lasting hurt. None of these symptoms are too damaging, but if they continue on for a long time or build up to something more serious I will start refusing these lunches.
An attempt to sneak in a killer poison in the future by first getting me accustomed to accepting this food, always coming clean and around the same time of day. I make sure to check for poison every time before taking in a single bite, but the predictability of these lunches has caused me to begin expecting them every day, and my stomach starts growling in anticipation around that time already. My idea is that he’s hoping for me to come to trust him enough and crave this food enough to stop checking it every day, so he can go ahead and sneak in his poison.
A joke, basically. It is insulting that he knows the tight situation he puts me in, having to spend the little money I earn on tech I can use to fight him off all on my own and having next to none left for food. Maybe he gets a kind of sick pleasure out of watching me stoop so low as to eat his lunches.
His race is very food-driven from what I’ve seen, mostly craving sweets (his leaders often display frankly hedonistic behaviors around food), and they also put a lot of importance on rivalries with matching opponents of their same species. Zim and I certainly are matched in a lot of ways as enemies, so maybe offering food like this in such a pattern could have some kinda meaning between rivals? Could he be trying to take our relationship our rivalry to the next level, whatever that would be?
He’s attempting to win me over to his side. It’s not uncommon for him these days to talk about us teaming up and taking over the world together, and sometimes he even sounds serious about it. This could be his way of trying to bridge the gap between us, even though he probably knows his efforts are futile.
Something…else? Probably not.
Despite my suspicions and theories, the truth behind this remains a mystery. But I am nothing if not dedicated to uncovering the truth, and I will get to the bottom of this! It’s just a matter of time.
Researcher Dib, signing out.
Addendum: last minute experiment:
EXPERIMENT: Place a hidden camera outside the window on the wall. Leave lunchbox empty after eating, with a note inside saying “thank you.” RESULTS: Zim shows up shortly after while I’m using the bathroom, scales up the building walls with his PAK legs, grabs the lunchbox and opens it. Sees the note, grabs and reads it. His eyes fill with tears and a huge smile appears on his face. He hugs the note to his chest and leaves. NOTES: ….
Second follow up to thisfic, how blind can a man get?