I was running downhill and I saw this beautiful black boy waiting for the bus, he looked like a pharaoh with his goatee and high cheek bones. So I got over confident and to impress him I started running faster and because I was thinking of pharaoh I steeped on a rock, twisted my foot and landed on it. I kept running to show strength to this boy.
When he was no longer in view I wrenched in pain and started to limp as if I had just gotten it up the butt by pharaoh.
I kept limping and I was cat called twice by the straights with windows rolled down because they cars ugly with no air conditioner. Like my truck.

Who You Should Fight: Incomplete Tales Player Character Edition
  • Cress:Fight Cress. Plot twist: do it with puns. I'll spot you one. "I wanted to be a dentist but I couldn't bear the thought of always looking down in the mouth."
  • Mint:Don't fight Mint. Why would you. Go bake something.
  • Chester:Fight Chester but only before he gets the chance to level up.
  • Claus:Fight Claus. Old bookworm is toast.
  • Arche:She can rain fire and lightning down from her flying broom. No part of this is a good idea. Don't fight Arche.
  • Suzu:If you're okay with the fact that she's a wee moppet, fight Suzu. Otherwise don't bother, she would sense your weakness.
  • Stahn:Fight Stahn first thing in the morning. Easy win.
  • Rutee:Engaging has only one inevitable outcome: she will rob you blind. Win, lose, draw, your wallet's ending up in her pocket somehow. Avoid.
  • Mary:DO NOT FIGHT MARY.
  • Garr:You might be able to beat Garr, but the guy is so gracious and nice you'd feel like a complete turd for it. Your call.
  • Chelsea:Fight Chelsea. If you refused she would just get pissed and pester you into it anyway. Might as well cut out the middleman.
  • Philia:Dude, don't fight Philia. She makes explosives as a hobby. Even if you did somehow win, she's a tiny priestess with glasses bigger than her head. There's no good outcome here.
  • Leon:Don't fight Leon. Befriend Leon. Then fight Leon. He will be easier to defeat if you confuse him with feelings first.
  • Bruiser:Fight Bruiser. Not because you could win, but because he would want you to fight him. You'll pretty definitely lose, actually. But then he would be your bro.
  • Karyl:I mean, I guess if you really hate music? Seems like a hollow victory though, beating up a band nerd.
  • Lilith:Do not fight Lilith. She has spent her life kicking her brother around. She will destroy you with cookware. Befriend Lilith and maybe she will make you pancakes instead.
  • Reid:Lbr, you would have a hell of a time provoking him into it. Just take a nap and get lunch with him later.
  • Farah:Do not fight Farah. She will murder you and not feel sorry about it.
  • Keele:You could take Keele. You probably wouldn't feel that good about it though.
  • Meredy:Don't fight Meredy. I don't have any solid reasoning here, it just seems like a bad idea and mean besides.
  • Max:Fight Max. This is easier said than done as the guy is a monster. But he would respect you and talk about cute animals with you if you survive.
  • Chat:Fight Chat. You definitely won't feel good about this, but it's the only way to avoid getting press-ganged into her service.
  • Lloyd:It can't be done. He has already made friends with you in the time it took to read that sentence.
  • Colette:Don't fight Colette, what the hell is wrong with you? Fuck. Go pet some dogs and rethink your life.
  • Genis:You could slam dunk this punk-ass nerd, but it would be sweeter to beat him in a contest of brains. Crack those books!
  • Raine:Nothing to gain here. Don't fight Raine. Use her to help you destroy Genis.
  • Kratos:Fight Kratos. Just fucking go to town on his ass. Then send him to some fucking parenting classes.
  • Sheena:Fight Sheena. She'll be offended if you don't and beat you up anyway.
  • Zelos:Zelos fights dirty. There's not really much to be gained by physical confrontation. Take a leaf from Lloyd's book and destroy him with the power of friendship. Pulverize him with trust. Slaughter him with your good heart.
  • Presea:You couldn't win, and if you did, you would have just beaten up a twelve-year-old with pigtails. Don't fight Presea.
  • Regal:This one is almost too easy. Make him feel guilty about something first and he won't even try to fight back. All yours.
  • Senel:Dude is stone cold. Unless you're Shirley, don't. If you are Shirley, absolutely do.
  • Shirley:Definitely don't fight Shirley. There are only three ways this fight could go: you would be fighting a destructive immortal primal force, you would be fighting a pissed off Senel, or you would be fighting Shirley. None of these is the key to a good life.
  • Will:Fight Will. Fight Will the same way you would play with a dog: throw him a bone. While he's distracted geeking out over Australopuffenstuff, he should go down with relative ease, despite his size.
  • Chloe:Fight Chloe. She has so much honor a dirty trick or two would bring her down without much trouble.
  • Moses:Go ahead and fight Moses. A single purple nurple would destroy him.
  • Norma:Whether or not you should fight Norma depends entirely on who else is around that she might try to put between herself and you.
  • Jay:It is impossible to fight dirtier than Jay. No matter how low you think you're sinking, he will sink lower. Don't fight Jay. You can't win.
  • Grune:Dude, why would you fight Grune? Do you hate happiness and joy that much? Don't fight Grune you emo nihilist fuck.
  • Luke:Fight Luke. There's not really much behind this choice, only I think he would appreciate the chance to spar. What? IT'S OKAY TO BE NICE SOMETIMES.
  • Tear:Don't fight Tear. She can knock you out cold in half a dozen notes. Not a smart or lucrative move on your part.
  • Guy:There's nothing wrong with choosing to fight Guy, but why would you? He's so friendly and chill. Hang out with Guy instead.
  • Anise:Don't fight Anise. Hunt for a rich husband with Anise. Or be her rich husband, I guess, if that's a viable option.
  • Jade:Do you have a death wish don't fight Jade he may not kill you on the spot but you will never feel secure sleeping with both eyes closed again.
  • Natalia:Fighting Natalia means invoking the wrath of an entire country. In a world where there are only two countries. I wouldn't advise it.
  • Asch:Hasn't the guy been through enough, shit
  • Yuri:Fight Yuri. Absolutely fight Yuri. I will pay you to fight Yuri. Just punch him in the face as hard as you fucking can.
  • Estelle:Fight Estelle if you can do it without being a dick about it. She'll thank you for the privilege, then patch you right up.
  • Repede:The fuck would you fight a dog for are you a sociopath are you on the road to becoming a serial killer
  • Karol:He's twelve and once stood his ground against a giant fish monster. Don't fight Karol. Don't be that guy.
  • Rita:Bro, what part of this sounds like a good idea? She wouldn't even feel bad about flaying you.
  • Raven:Fight Raven if you have boobs at all and are willing to use them to your advantage. If not, you could probably still take him but it's going to take a bit more effort.
  • Judith:Do I even need to say it? She will destroy you. Do you want to be destroyed? Don't fight Judith.
  • Flynn:Fight Flynn. Dude will only play by the rules and can't even do fatal strikes. Take his ass down. Then fight Yuri again.
  • Asbel:Don't fight Sophie.
  • Sophie:Don't fight Sophie.
  • Hubert:Don't fight Sophie.
  • Cheria:Don't fight Sophie.
  • Malik:Don't fight Sophie.
  • Pascal:Don't fight Sophie.
  • Richard:Don't fight Sophie.
  • Jude:Why would you fight a tiny puppy? A tiny puppy med student. Why would you do this were you not hugged enough as a child.
  • Milla:Go for it. You probably won't win, depending on your timing, but I mean. Both of you would probably find it an entertaining learning experience if you don't die.
  • Alvin:Absolutely fight Alvin. Fight him right now. Fucking go. If you fight one person on this list, fight Kratos. But if you fight two also fight Alvin.
  • Elize:Wh
  • Rowen:Either you're dead or you just beat up an old man whose only crime was trying to serve you tea. Do you feel good about yourself? Do you??
  • Leia:Don't fight Leia. She is a genki red oni who was never taught the meaning of mercy. Team up with Leia to fight Alvin again.
youtube

Tales of Berseria First Trailer is up! >>

This is the same trailer they released during Tales of Festival 2015.