TAKE THESE FEELINGS AWAY FROM ME

I like being alone. I like to stay in one corner with my headphones, listening to music and at that moment i am in my own world. I just want to sit there and don’t mind the people around me. I’d rather be with myself than to be with someone especially when i am sad or not in the mood. It’s my own escape to the real world. I can’t run and leave everything behind. I can’t disappear in just a snap of finger. That’s why i like being alone, away from everyone, away from reality. I just want to be with myself for a moment.

I find peace when i am alone. No one can bother me. No one can hurt me. It feels like i’m safe and no one can harm me. It gives me time to think and set my mind free. But i don’t like being alone for a long time. The sad thoughts might take over and i can’t escape anymore. Maybe i just like being alone but i hate being lonely.

roj0bandit0 asked:

Lately I've been having trouble getting the shots I want/need. I've always agreed with the notion that you could take 100 pictures in a day and only have that one that really blows you away, but for some reason I'm not even getting that *one* anymore. It's really weighing down my confidence as an artist altogether! Do you know of any ways to revamp your artistic eye, or techniques to get your mojo back?

This happens to me all the time, as does it happen to many artists. When I lose creative mind to produce new work I enjoy, I stop trying. I don’t force myself to create photographs when I’m not feeling creatively and passionately motivated. 

It will probably just come back randomly, it aways does. It often happens when I’m in a museum, romantic paintings from the 19th century always inspire me.

Sometimes when I go through a really uninspired period of photograph taking, it often comes down to a few mistakes I make that I don’t normally do. Photographing at the wrong time of day is my number one problem of late. 

harry and louis as songs - love on top by beyoncé

i can feel the sun whenever you’re near
every time you touch me i just melt away

everybody asks me why I’m smiling out from ear to ear (they say love hurts)
but i know (it’s gonna take a little work)
nothing’s perfect, but it’s worth it
after fighting through my tears

baby, you’re the one i love
baby, you’re all i need
you’re the only one i see

10

I came into this world on November 11, 1994. I was born Desiree. I was assigned female at birth. They were wrong. My name is Desmund and I am male. Every day I look in the mirror and recognize myself more and more. My dysphoria consumed me from the age of 2 on and I felt so helpless. I didn’t think I would ever be able to start testosterone. I didn’t think I would even have the courage to come out. Eventually my depression and dysphoria started taking everything I loved and enjoyed away from me. I figured I had nothing to lose and everything to gain and I was right. If I would have taken my own life I never would have gotten to experience gender euphoria. The feeling of loving myself and being the person I am on the inside. So no matter how hopeless you feel, never give up. It will get better, you just have to stick around long enough.

This shit is so fucking hard I honestly don’t believe I can do this. It’s hard to walk away from so much time dedication commitment and work. With nothing but memories of the good times. I honestly believe there is no other. But there has to be one that will never let you down one that will never let anyone take them away from you someone who knows the importance of another’s feelings and love. Someone who can say no to the temptation without hesitation. I need that love I thought I had. but one that truly exist instead of words created to keep me by their side or to keep me in a bliss. Love that truly knows the meaning of love instead a of words created as just a a saying before your goodbyes. But I must persist through this feeling I must strive for better I must let go of the past to move towards The future. Just know I will not find another like you.
—  The soul of broken heart.

Two steps forward, one step back.

I think that’s gunna be my motto this week. I tried to take a shower today - my after care guide warned to take it slow, and that my body might react weird to the change in pressure and it was right. Two minutes with the vest off and I was an inch away from passed out on the bathroom floor, trying not to barf, with my mom scrambling to figure out how to Velcro me back in. That little fiasco pretty much wiped me of all my energy so I feel like today won’t be as good as yesterday >.

Since last night tho, I have gotten more of my appetite back and have held down food without needing nausea pills. So there’s a win.

props to me 4 not getting stoned since uh monday i think, even though life’s been treating me not so well recently and it’d be just so easy to run away. for years i’ve been consuming daily, used it as an anti-depressant (good) and escape from reality (not that good). maybe sober-me is better at figuring out how to deal with a system that’s crushing me. all i know is that being sober takes fucking effort, a week of sleeplessness and bad dreams, sweating, so much sweating, and strength. which i don’t have, but somehow i’m doing this. 

rn i feel a bit lonely because yeah it’s friday evening and everyone around me seems to do fun stuff, partying, enjoying themselves and then there’s me being miserable and worrying about how i’m going to pay rent. 

i dunno, somebody at least be proud of me for not smoking when that’d be the easiest way out. 

essentialcas asked:

"i really just wanna hug the shit out of castiel #and fucking take him away from the asshole winchesters#at least he gave dean some attitude in the preview#yas cas stand up to that dickhead" YESSSSSSS I FEEL THIS. I FEEL THIS SO HARD. i used to just wanna keep him safe from the villains and tptb but like now it's like OKAY EVERYONE NEEDS TO STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY CHILD BECAUSE NO ONE HAS SHOWN THEMSELVES WORTHY OF HIS PRESENCE even the fuckin winchesters at this point. -_-

HONESTLY I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH EVERYONE TREATING HIM LIKE SHIT I AM READY TO FLY TO FUCKING CANADA AND BURN DOWN THE WRITER’S ROOM. HE IS MY SMALL BABY ANGEL AND DOES NOT DESERVE ANY OF THE SHIT THEY PUT HIM THROUGH. ESPECIALLY THE SHIT THEY MAKE THE WINCHESTERS PUT HIM THROUGH

anonymous asked:

if you really feel like you need to leave, i think you should log out for a few weeks and see how you continue to feel, then it's your decision to come back. I love your blog and you, I enjoy having your notifications on even when you're being "whiny" like you call it (there's nothing wrong to it) because I think you're the nicest and most interesting (to me) person on here, from the ones i've found. But I'll have (and want) to understand if you feel like leaving. I live you. :)

bless you i definitely couldn’t leave for weeks like i was probably just gonna take the weekend away whatever happens i’m gonna come back next friday after halsey but idk i feel like me wanting to go is just my pms talking lmao

anonymous asked:

Hi there! Your head-cannons are great, please don't stop making them ;w; You're an awesome Admin! :D So, uh, I have a question, what would happen if Reader helped a 2P out if they were sick? *shuffles away* I'm sorry if I bothered you-- *shuffles 10 feet away from Admin-Senpai*

((thank you-! and omg no, bby come back *pounces after you*))

You: *is taking care of a sick Second Player*

2P!America: *groans and buries head into pillow* ughhhh, why are you even here? You really wanna see me all fragile and shit? Fuck no… get out *hides face in blankets but doesn’t actually want you to leave*

2P!China: I’m so tired… But this doesn’t feel much worse than a hangover or that one time I nearly had an overdose… Wait, what did you just say? hELLZ YEAH I’M STILL DOWN FOR SEX?????!!!??

2P!England: *kitten sneeze* I’m so sorry poppet… You really don’t have to be here… I’m probably such a bother aND OH MY GOODNESS YOU MADE ME SOUP HOW SWEET OF YOU AWWWWH–

2P!France: *violent fit of coughing* ………. I’m fucking FINE,,

2P!Russia: I can take care of myself just fine… You really don’t need to be here… *weakly reaches for remote* ……okay but can you hand me that please

2P!Italy: gET. OUT. *cough* -nOWWW. *throws tissue box at the door as you flee* guhhh… *once you’re gone, he curls into a fetal position* no one is allowed to see me all weak like this… *angry grumbling* no one…

2P!Germany: yo, while we’re locked in my room like this, why don’t we watch four straight hours of porn together? ;DDDDDD *sounds like he’s totally kidding* … *is totally not kidding*

2P!Japan: *blushes when you place a wet cloth on his forehead* ……let’s just take a bath together.

2P!Canada: I’m not sick *coughs* I’m totally fine *sneezes* I don’t even have a fever *his skin is over 100 degrees* I can totally go to work tomorrow– *passes out from exhaustion*

2P!Romano: *whines* I feel so gross… And I was planing to re-dye my hair today *pouts* Anyway…~ toss me that new issue of Vogue, will you darling? *passes time by reading magazines with you*

2P!Austria: this king has fallen… *sniffles* just kidding!~ anyhoo, have you heard of World of Warcraft? *stares at you like an excited puppy* you should really…… try it,,,,,

2P!Prussia: I-I’m so sorry if I’m being a bother… I feel like a burden to you… I-I mean, you probably have so much better and more important things to do than take care of me, don’t you…?

I wonder if people defending the notion that Samus Aran is trans realize how much of a toxic message that sends to mostly-masculine ciswomen like me.

It’s taking away a character I liked precisely because she was a very masculine lady who was nonetheless still a lady, making me feel less alone in that matter. It’s sending the message that because I don’t perfectly fit my gender role, I can’t possibly be cis, I must be trans or a third gender. It’s an extremely rigid reinforcement of gender stereotypes from the very people who claim to oppose them.

Look, I understand that transpeople are hurting for representation. But the message you send to people who are cis but struggle with not fitting their gender roles, whenever you assume someone is too “sissy” or “tomboy” to possibly be cis, is toxic and harmful to folks like us.

And if you only care about people suffering from gender identity issues when they’re the “right” people, then that makes you as much of a jerk as the bigots you’re fighting.

Seventeen’s reaction when you walk in on them changing

🐳 ~ We make BTS, EXO, 2PM, SEVENTEEN and GOT7 reactions, scenarios and outfits so feel free to request. –> reactions & outfits//scenarios

S.Coups

“Jagiya, I know that I’m irresistible but this is a bit..”

Junghan

“Omo, remind me to lock the door next time.”

Joshua

at first he will be flustered but then he will probably give you a sixty minute long lecture about how much you need Jesus in your life and take to to church to pray and confess.

Jun

“well hello there, baobei.”

Hoshi

Wonwoo

“ahhhhh” *flies away from you creep*

Woozi

“oh, no no jagi. you shouldn’t do this.”

DK

“omo..”

Mingyu

“woah, when did my jagi get so sneeky?

The8

*judging you with Hanson*

Seungkwan

“i was just trying to change my clothes and i honestly feel so attacked right now.”

Vernon

“uhm.. ”

Dino

“wha-..OMO!”

**i don’t own the gifs*

o.m.~🐼