Warnings: PLEASE READ
talk of anxiety and panic attacks. This fic is designed to be a comfort to
people with anxiety, HOWEVER if you are not able to read things about
uncontrolled anxiety and panic attacks DO NOT READ THIS
***SIGNAL BOOST THIS
IF YOU KNOW PEOPLE IT CAN HELP***
Request: Anon: I have dealt with my anxiety alone for a long
time because my family doesn’t really understand it and I was wondering if you
could do some fluff about something similar to that but with dean helping
A/N: Anon if you are reading this I hope you like it. I also
sincerely hope that you reach out if you ever need something. This goes for all
of my readers whether you follow me or not. I am not a mental health professional
but I am a listening ear and someone who can and will help you seek out help.
My inbox is always open. Always Keep Fighting. Know that you are loved. Know
that You Are Not Alone.
Oh god. Not again.
Fuck. Okay Y/N, just breathe. You’re fine. Don’t freak out. Come on. Just
No matter how many times you went through that cycle in your
head the anxiety still hit you like a truck. You were nauseous, jittery,
irritable, just overall uncomfortable. The only thing harder than the anxiety itself
was hiding it.
You had been hunting with the boys off and on for years now.
Chalking it all up to nerves was almost too easy and the boys never really
wanted to pry. You sure as hell weren’t going to tell them, you hadn’t even
told your family.
Am I making this up?
Maybe this isn’t really anxiety. Maybe something else is wrong.
You could try and convince yourself otherwise all you wanted
but you always came back to the same conclusion. Anxiety was a part of your
life, and for the foreseeable future it wasn’t going away.
I’ve struggled with a lot of pain, anxiety, depression, and self harm in my lifetime. I’ve left scars on my body I cannot remove. This pose was very intimate and very special to me. I’ve never been more happy with a photo than I am with this one…OKAY SO!! I’m standing in line for my photos op and I’m coolin’. I’m calm and collected the entire time and than I’m next in line. And my HEART DROOPED. I started feeling lightheaded and watery eyed and I tried to save myself but it was too late, Jensen turned to me with his arms open wide, he smile. I nervously walk up to him and he can totally tell I’m struggling so he makes conversation.
Jensen: hey! How are you? Is this your first convention?
Jensen: are you enjoying yourself?
Me: ahhh yyyyeessss
Jensen: *laughs* I’m glad! Is there a pose you wanna do?
Me: ahhhhh yyyyeessss
So we do the pose and as soon as I break away I lock eyes with him and just lose it. I break down crying in front of EVERYONE and I’m SO EMBARRASSED. Jensen just throws his arms around me and pulls me into his chest. So I’m sobbing into Jensen’s shirt and then I realize “oh shit, people need their photos!” So I start pulling away and Jensen just pulls me tighter. I’m like “OKAY GOOD I CAN STAY HERE IM GOOD WITH THAT” I’m in his arms for about a good 45 seconds. I pull away again and wipe my face a little, trying to collect myself. Jensen smiles at me ever so sweetly and wraps his arm around me once more, he says “I’m so proud of you, you’re so important and you’re gonna be alright. I love you.” I said “I love you so much. Thank you.” He smiled SO WARMLY, and before I walked away he rubbed my back a little and it made me melt… I’m finally walking out of the photo op and immediately volunteers are like “are you okay? Do you wanna sit down?!” I’m saying “no, no I’m okay!” One girl wraps their arm around me, another hands me a bottle of water, (😂) as soon as I’m about to leave I hear someone say l “hey! Wait up!” I turn around to see an individual who stood about 2 people behind me in the photo op line running up to me, they hug me tight and say “I know what it’s like to be alone, and it’s okay…would you like to hang out with us for a while?” And with that I made two new friends! I come to found out from them that in the middle of me breaking down in Jensen’s arms, the security and staff was trying to move me along to hurry up the line and Jensen shoved them off. He WAVED THEM AWAY SO HE COULD HUG ME, and that is something I will never fucking forget. That is the reason I hold Jensen so close to my heart. I couldn’t ask for a better first convention.
Thank you Supernatural family, truly
P.S. Jensen smelt like Irish Spring male body wash and musk, of course. #blamethemusk