Storytime

I’ve had the MIB set of Super Long Hair Pick-a-Lily and Sunny Salsa in my collection for a whole year now and I have always headcanoned that they were lovers, I just didn’t have a good story for them. totally-grody helped me write their love story today in Skype. Pick-a-Lily is nonverbal autistic and she is terrible at showing her affection to Sunny Salsa the spunky Hispanic party girl, who she has been dating for a year now. Her special interest is flowers, especially lilies, so she began bringing her flowers every morning when she tends to her garden. 

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In my precalculus class today this cocky guy tried to justify his use of the word “funner” by looking it up in an online dictionary and proving that it was a word. I then said, “Just because it’s a word does not mean you used it correctly in this context,” and everyone just kind of muttered “oh snap” under their breath, but this one guy shouted out “YEAH LISTEN TO THAT GIRL.” My teacher then said to the class, “It seems like whenever someone looks something up on the Internet to prove their side of an argument it’s kind of like their saying ‘f you’ but now she just turned it around and said-” I cut him off and said “f you times two” and everyone started laughing and I just feel so clever. :3

Human Creation Myths - Tale of Oratea

A halfling folk tale has humanity born of older races in a much more literal way.

Oratea was a beautiful female halfling, and many of her own kind wooed her. Then she encountered a pair of travellers, a tall slender elf named Terian and a stout dwarf named Koemac. 

The travellers both loved her and demanded that she choose one of them as her mate. Oratea was greedy and insisted that she would wed both of them or no one at all. Finally, Terian and Koemac relented and were both married to Oratea. 

Months later, Oratea became pregnant. 

But the gods, looking down, frowned upon her for her arrogance and greed. 

They caused her two husbands to become jealous and to demand that she choose one of them and be done with the other. 

After much argument, the husbands declared that the baby would be the deciding factor. Whichever father it resembled would stay, and the other one would leave, never to return. 

But when Oratea gave birth, she became the mother of twins. 

When the fathers heard the news, they groaned, suspecting that one child would have elf heritage and the other would have dwarf blood. But it was not to be so simple. 

One baby belonged to Terian and other to Koemac, but the deities made both babies resemble both fathers, blending their features together.

 Terian and Koemac, recognizing this as a sign of the gods’ displeasure, fled. Oratea died of a broken heart, leaving her children to make their way in the world. 

The deities took pity on the babies and helped them to survive. 

Eventually the children grew to adulthood, married, and bore more children. Oratea’s grandchildren also had features that were a mixture of elf, dwarf, and halfling. 

These were the first humans.

I got to meet Bill Nye at my school last year, and he was super cool. He’s very bright, and he was very much about encouraging the kids to get interested, and talked a lot about the fact that girls should be actively encouraged by schools to participate in science classes and activities, and taught in ways more friendly to girls in general.

There was a little girl who got to ask him a question (a teacher had to pick her up to put her on the stage next to him) and she was too afraid to ask her question, and he was just so nice– “you’re holding a stuffed platypus. Would you like to know about how they live?” and she kind of nodded and he proceeded to tell the whole school all he knew about platypuses and treated her like she’d done all the asking and thinking. It was so cool.

there’s a really melodramatic, fairly large spider friend that lives on the kitchen window and spins a very ambitious web across it. this morning a very big false wasp fly blundered into his web and she was too big and strong for it, so she began to tear the web apart.

this was a big drama for spider friend. he waved his arms in the air, “oh no oH NO” and did an elaborate dance, shouting “Stop! Stop it! You’re ruining everything!!”

he runs up and tries to push her out, but the fly is so big that he retreats, tugging on his hair and occasionally flinging dramatic gestures at me (”do u see this. DO U SEE THIS RIGHT NOW. are you filming”)

finally he grabs up all of his courage, runs up to the fly and starts determinedly hacking her out of the web, cutting her loose.

The fly continued to fuck around as he did this and the spider shouted at her, “You’re fucking everything up! Get out! Get out of my web!”

When she was cut free and had wandered off, he sort of patted the torn edges of the hole, wondering whether to repair it. “Did you see that, Elodie? That was bullshit, that was. Look at this mess.”

Then a hornet flew straight into the web with a curious inevitability, like a drunk undergraduate in heels falling slowly down a flight of stairs.

The spider looked at the hornet, and then he looked at me, and he said “Fuck this shit, I’m out,” and went into the little piece of window edging that he lives inside and refused to come out for the rest of the day.

Listen, i’ve spent my entire life feeling alone because the media decided bisexuality isn’t a thing, so they pegged all of my favorite celebrities (who are out and proud bisexuals) as either “straight” or “gay”. I’ve spent my entire life feeling like an outcast because I’m not straight enough to be straight and not gay enough to be gay. But that ends now because I’m a human who identifies as bisexual and i’m here for every single one of you that feel like an outcast. Whether you are sexually active or not whatever sexuality you identify as is who you are and I refuse to live in a world where our identities will be erased. You belong in this world and if assholes won’t recognize us with the same respect they give others then let’s create our own world where everyone is excepted and beautiful and validated. Except bronies. Fuck bronies. -@wickedkhaleesi 

silvereye12 asked:

:> Iridescent

So here’s a world where humans–whether intentionally or not–pattern their courtship the way some birds of paradise do. Women dress in drab, modest clothes and men in shimmering, over-the-top getups.  There are probably bowers–enormous, fancy houses or perhaps just Really Amazing Gazebos on the family estate where the lads take their lady friends to impress them.  

With so much focus on earning the favor of a potential wife, I have to think we’re looking at a matriarchy here–find yourself a rich girl, show her your fabulous shiny floofy clothes and bower, best your rival for her affections in a dance-off, and you’re set!

As for a story, my first instinct is to look at someone who kind of goes against the grain of this society–a foreigner or just someone who’s Different.  With a premise like this, there’s a lot of room for exploring gender/sexuality, I think.  Possibly in a slightly silly way.

The best I’ve got is this: a woman from another country who falls in love with a woman from this one and is determined to compete with her male suitors in the Traditional Way.  Ah, but first she will need fancy clothes and an EVEN MORE FANCY GAZEBO.  A tale of dance-offs, lesbians, overcoming ingrained classism, and realizing that sometimes the things you thought were most important are actually just really superficial.

Want to send a prompt?  Check here first!

anonymous asked:

tell me your favorite bedtime story

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across.. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure.

And Death spoke to them. He was angry that he had been cheated out of three new victims, for travelers usually drowned in the river. But Death was cunning. He pretended to congratulate the three brothers upon their magic and said that each had earned a prize for having been clever enough to evade him.

So the oldest brother, who was a combative man, asked for a wand more powerful than any in existence: a wand that must always win duels for its owner, a wand worthy of a wizard who had conquered Death! So Death crossed to an elder tree on the banks of the river, fashioned a wand from a branch that hung there, and gave it to the oldest brother.

Then the second brother, who was an arrogant man, decided that he wanted to humiliate Death still further, and asked for the power to recall others from Death. So Death picked up a stone from the riverbank and gave it to the second brother, and told him that the stone would have the power to bring back the dead.

And then Death asked the third and youngest brother what he would like. The youngest brother was the humblest and also the wisest of the brothers, and he did not trust Death. So he asked for something that would enable him to go forth from that place without being followed by Death. And death, most unwillingly, handed over his own Cloak of Invisibility.

Then Death stood aside and allowed the three brothers to continue on their way, and they did so, talking with wonder of the adventure they had had, and admiring Death’s gifts. In due course the brothers separated, each for his own destination.

The first brother traveled on for a week or more, and reaching a distant village, sought out a fellow wizard with whom he had a quarrel. Naturally with the Elder Wand as his weapon, he could not fail to win the duel that followed. Leaving his enemy dead upon the floor, the oldest brother proceeded to an inn, where he boasted loudly of the powerful wand he had snatched from Death himself, and of how it made him invincible.

That very night, another wizard crept upon the oldest brother as he lay, wine-sodden, upon his bed. The theif took the wand and, for good measure, slit the oldest brother’s throat.

And so Death took the first brother for his own.

Meanwhile, the second brother journeyed to his own home, where he lived alone. Here he took out the stone that had the power to recall the dead, and turned it thrice in his hand. To his amazement and his delight, the figure of the girl he had once hoped to marry, before her untimely death, appeared at once before him.

Yet she was sad and cold, separated from him as by a veil. Though she had returned to the mortal world, she did not truly belong there and suffered. Finally the second brother, driven mad with hopeless longing, killed himself so as truly to join her.

And so Death took the second brother for his own.

But though Death searched for the third brother for many years, he was never able to find him. It was only when he had attained a great age that the youngest brother finally took off the Cloak of Invisibility and gave it to his son. And then he greeted Death as an old friend, and went with him gladly, and, equals, they departed this life.

not-an-iota asked:

0u0 - susurrus!

Okay, so there’s this kid, and for as long as they can remember they’ve been having what the doctors say has to be some form of tinnitus.  It’s a soft, buzzing, whispering noise that comes and goes, but always gets stronger when they’re around large groups of people.

Accordingly, they tend to stay at home alone when they can, and when they’re out in public they wear headphones almost constantly.  Middle school sucks; they’re a bit of a misfit, not necessarily bullied but friendless and awkward.  But they’ve just moved to a new state for high school and for once this turns out to be a good thing; they start making friends and going near people and taking their headphones off to talk.

But the more time they spend around this group, the more they realize that odd sound only appears when they’re with certain people, and the closer they come both physically and emotionally with those people, the more the sound starts to resemble voices.  Obviously they freak out, start thinking it’s some kind of mental issue, the usual.  But one day they actually make skin contact with one of the people in question, and the susurrus finally coalesces into an understandable voice, a kind of mental whisper.

And it’s a story about a person who can hear the voices of some other people’s past lives, speaking through their new incarnations in an effort to find someone who will help them conclude unfinished business.  This could be soulmate stuff, but it could also be grudges with another reincarnated soul!  An achievement they’ve been fighting for in every life!  Something that will fulfill both the old soul and the new!

The conflict could similarly be romantically focused (oh no, I’m supposed to set up the person I like with their lover of ten centuries ago), or it could be less boring and involve the closure of, say, a duel to the death that ends up being re-enacted as a really intense basketball match.  Bonus points if the MC discovers they can initiate a kind of Avatar State in their subjects.

EDIT: Whoops, just saw this!

this one can be for you too, I guess? @v@

Want to send a prompt?  Check here first!

My bud shared an image of these three with a pretty interesting backstory. Consider this: Lucius, Thranduil and Jareth are brothers who divided their lands into three kingdoms. One ruled over the elves, one over the goblins, and the third over wizards. Albeit there are plot holes up the wazoo with this theory, it’s still a pretty exciting one! Naturally I had to draw up these 3 handsome fellas. Props to @Deslea for the story