For Example: “Get out, Michael. I swear to God, get out before I try to kill you. I wasted two years of my life on your pathetic cheating ass. Get out!” Tara yelled angrily.
Adverbs are, more often than not, useless additions to your writing. Looking to the example above, adding “angrily” to the end of the line tells the reader nothing new. The reader knew Tara was angry, because Tara is clearly yelling at Michael. The dialogue alone is enough to portray this, and I’m sure with the full scene, the reader doesn’t need any extra help. Adverbs clutter up your writing and weaken your writing. Trust the reader to catch on without the adverb.
(2) “As if” Phrases
For Example: Mrs. Winters lingered over Bryan, her stern face glaring down at him, as if daring him to speak out again.
You don’t need to explain why characters are doing what they do. “As if” phrases are explanations we don’t need. Your writing needs to be strong enough to portray that Mrs. Winters wants Bryan to shut up.
(3) Exposition in Dialogue
For Example: “Hello, Bridget, my ex-girlfriend who cheated on me with Brad”.
I wrote a whole post on this last week, because exposition in dialogue is absolutely terrible, but I will say it again. Using dialogue to explain things is usually just lazy writing. Dialogue needs to sound the way that people actually talk. Keep in mind that the characters know more than they say, and rarely need to explain it.
For Example: The curtains opened and Jared lifted the wand. With a wave, he instructed the winds start playing. The hall filled with the melody of flutes, clarinets and trumpets.
To the untrained eye, Jared is a decent conductor, and is doing a fine job leading the orchestra. To a musician, this scene would come off as weird. The stick a conductor uses is a baton, not a wand. Trumpets are not wind instruments. These details aren’t enough to completely ruin a story, but if you have a character interested, you need to do research. Know what you’re talking about. Using the right words, terms that are only used within the community (for this example, words like staccato or laccato tell musicians how to play a note). If you have a character who is a musician, learn about music. If you have a character who does ballet, learn what a pliée is, and what an arabesque is. Don’t assume your readers won’t notice if you mess up on small details. The small details matter.
No matter how minor a character is, it is your job to make them matter. Every character should have some sort of story. It might go untold, but characters need to be people in the universe you created, not plot devices there to guide your main character to what they need to do. This is especially true when writing women. Many female characters are written with the purpose of being a love interest to your main character, and they deserve more than that.
We’ve all been so focused on making sure that Stan and Mike get the love that they deserve that we freaking forgot to acknowledge this sweet baby BEN HANSCOM/JEREMY RAY TAYLOR IS A GIFT FROM GOD TO THIS CRUEL WORLD AND WE DO NOT DESERVE HIM
Klay Thompson: He is known for being very shy in quiet, but in between those sheets that man is a damn animal. He loves to tease you until your on the verge of tears and then finally gives you what you want, he can last for hours and mark every inch of your skin.
Devin Booker: It’s no secret that this man is a freaking sex god. Hair-pulling, biting on your skin, and toes curling is a bonus. And if you don’t call him “Papi” then punishment is surely involved.
Stephen Curry: At times he can be really rough, leaving occasional bruises on your hips here and there. But other times, he can be really gentle wanting nothing but to show how much he loves you.
D'angelo Russel: He likes to be dominated here and there, letting you decide and take control. But if it’s one of those days where he wants be dominant then he will succeed in blowing not only your mind but your back out as well.
Twelve years of so many feelings. Everything from just geeky love when Old Wounds was released in Star Wars Visionaries and renewing a love of Darth Maul that I first had when Episode I was released, to pure fan geeking when Clone Wars brought him back inspired by that, to the absolute jittering anticipation of a new, canon version of Old Wounds being brought to life as Twin Suns.
Never, even in my most vivid personal imaginings of this confrontation back before Clone Wars or even during Rebels was I expecting being so overwhelmed with excitement by just the performance teases of Sam Witwer and Stephen Stanton.
This episode means SO MUCH because Old Wounds originally pushed Obi-Wan to the brink and he NEARLY embraced the Dark Side to kill him out of vengeance… and I wholly expect to see something similar here that explains why Obi-Wan is so passive when confronting Vader in A New Hope.
Additionally, it’s my personal hope that Maul learns that Qui Gon didn’t perish at his hand, but became one with the Force to be, as Obi-Wan later puts it, “more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” and gains a renewed obsession to seek out THAT power to cheat death in a whole new way.
Either way, whatever this episode DOES bring, it will be the definitive moment that brings twelve years of my personal Star Wars anticipation to life, and I cannot overstate my overwhelming excitement right now.
Also, if Duel of the Fates plays in any form, I will be reduced even further into a glowing, weeping, wreck of pure excitement.