Recently I went to a sisters gathering and I met a handful of sisters who have been divorced many many times. I talking about 3-5 divorces and having a few children. Some of these marriages, lasting a day. Wallah.
Alhamdulillah they’re all currently married happily & their husbands love them without bringing up their pasts….
My point, just because you have been married, once or twice, or more than that and have a few children from previous relationships, don’t feel like there is no hope and that no one will want you &&& your status has lowered.
Always trust Allah azza wa jal & remember that He is the best of planners, someone is written for you In'shA Allah, just a little Sabr 💚💚
Remember, just because you have been divorced it doesn’t mean your status has lowered 💚💚
❝She Is Not A Lowly Object To Be Handled By The Hands And Gazed Upon By The Eyes (of the people). Rather, She Is A Preserved Pearl; Safeguarded For The Husband Who Allaah Has Made Permissible For Her And Made Her Permissible For Him. THIS IS THE WOMEN WITHIN AL-ISLAM.❞
-Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzān حفظه الله
The status of Women in Islam (pg.21)
I am so fucking done with reading and listening to the same bullshit over and over again.
And now, after the attack on Paris, everyone seems to have found a new excuse to attack the Islamic religion.
First of all, I’d like to point put that I’m Atheist, I don’t believe in God or Allah or pretty much anything, so my point of view is quite objective, but having lived in an Islamic country for 14 years of my life this stuff still bothers me.
Everytime an attack like this happens, there are those who, without knowing shit, like to say that Islam is a terrorist religion, that it encourages massacres, violence, war and bloodshed, and this is so not true - I studied the Quran as a child and I know for a fact that there is nothing in there that encourages killing people. It is a very tollerant religion, it promotes peace, acceptance and justice. The people behind these attacks have nothing to do with religion - they only use it as an excuse or as a way to manipulate weak people into supporting them. In fact many Islamic countries at war with these extremist groups (the most remarkable example is Tunisia).
Another thing I keep hearing and really bothers me is that mosques are not to be built in non-Islamic countries. Sweety, it’s called being open-minded towards other cultures and no - it’s not absolutely true that there are no churches in Islamic countries. In Tunisia there are two churches, which is not much, but Tunisia is a relatively small State. In Syria there are 18 churches, 18 in Iraq too, 14 in Egypt, 4 in Algeria, 5 in Jordan… there are churches in nearly all the Islamic contries, except for some extremist countries of the Middle East, like Saudi Arabia, Oman, Qatar.
Another thing that really pisses me off, perhaps more than anything else, is the idea that many have of the relationship betweem Islam and the Status of Women. Everyone seems convinced that Islam discredit women and puts men above them. NO. NO. NO. AND THEN AGAIN NO. In the Quran, there is an entire Surah dedicated to women, to equality between men and women and to how women should be treated. So no, I have to say that Islam does not condemn women in any way. It’s true in many Islamic countries, women have less rights than men, but that’s not religion, that’s mentality. In fact women, in developed Islamic countries, have almost the same rights as Western women. For instance, in Maghreb women are treated pretty well and disrespecting a woman in Tunisia can cost you a few months in prison.
And yet some people still think that in Tunisia or in Morocco women can’t go out without asking every male member of their family permission. Once I have even been asked is person whether my mom goes out on her own. No, she doesn’t. First she has to ask permission to my dad, his dad, his grandad, his uncles and his cousins. The same person also asked me whether my dad lets my sister go out. No, he doesn’t, he keeps her locked in the dungeons and only lets her out when she has to eat.
DON’T LIKE STRETCH MARKS ON YOUR WIFE AFTER PREGNANCY???
Do you know what men are guilty of? They don’t realize that the stretch marks on the belly of the woman, those are actually signs of contributing to the Ummah of Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam. Wallahi, they are signs of jihad. They are signs of a huge sacrifice. May Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala grant us the ability to understand that those marks are actually the marks that might take the woman to Jannah. May Allah take them to Jannah In sha Allah!
So you probably think Islam is an evil religion, that muslims are supposed to kill non muslims. Oppress women, force marriage your daughters at 2, You know, all that blahblahblah…
Well.. I bet you didn’t know that
1) We are NOT allowed to kill or harm ANYONE unless they Harm us first and try to take Possession of Our Land.
- The Quran Tells us that If we kill anyone it is as if we have killed the whole of humanity, if we save someone, it is as if we have saved the whole of humanity. -
-“ … If anyone slew a person unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land it would be as if he slew the whole humanity: and if anyone saved a life it would be as if he saved the life of the whole humanity.” (Al-Qur'an 5:32)-
2) We have rules for War. We are prohibited to Harm Children, Women, the Elderly AND the plants.
Where are your moral conducts for war?
-Abu Bakr As-Siddique ® is reported to have commanded Usama ibne Zaid ®:
“I command you to do ten things: you must not kill a woman or a child, or an elderly person; do not cut down trees, or vandalize homes, or wound a sheep or camel except if you must eat it; do not drown a palm tree, or burn it, do not be treacherous; do not be cowardly; and you will pass by people who have devoted themselves to monastery life: leave them alone with their devotions.” (Tarikh At-Tabari, V.3, p.210)-
3) A REAL MUSLIM CAN NEVER BE A TERRORIST!
- The Prophet ﷺ Said that whoever is cruel and hard on a Non Muslim minority, or curtails their rights, or burdens them with more than they can bear, or takes anything from them against their free will The Prophet ﷺ will complain against that person on the day of judgment - (recorded by Abu Dawud)
4) Islam DOES not allow Forced marriages
Firstly, the girl Has to have hit Puberty before being able to get married
And MOST IMPORTANTLY the Girl NEEDS to AGREE to the marriage or else that marriage is not valid and the parents would have committed a very big sin in marrying a girl without her Consent and agreement
5) Islam Does NOT OPPRESS Women
- if everyone knew the status of Women in Islam, even the men would want to be a woman.
- Paradise lies Under your mothers feet
-Therefore it is a major sin to disrespect your mother
- your mother, your mother, your mother AND THEN your father
- A husband is supposed to treat his wife with kindness and gentleness
- Islam does not promote domestic violence, infact, you’re not allowed to hit your wife, but ONLY tap her with 2 fingers
- HIJAB isn’t only Islam. Christians, Amish, Buddhists, every Orthodox religion you can think of, Jews, Sikhs Hindus, and every other religion says a Lady needs to cover her hair.
I mean, Mary (as) wore a hijab.
- hijab is for modesty.
- hijab demands respect from people, instead of being a sex object to every tom Dick and Harry
6) I bet you didn’t know that As muslims it’s obligatory to give 2.5% of your income as Charity?
7) I bet you didn’t know that as a Muslim, you need to feed, care for and protect your neighbours
When She is a DAUGHTER, She opens a Door of Jannah for her Father, When she is WIFE she completes half of DEEN for her Husband, When she is MOTHER Jannah lies under her feet.
That is the Status of Women in Islam
It’s not that people cannot criticize Islam–criticism of ideologies, factors of lifestyle etc etc, should always remain an open ground for criticism–it’s that people must be specific in their criticism.
They cannot say “Islam is a terroristic religion” and merely disregard the overwhelming majority of adherents to Islam who do not mirror that statement. They cannot say “Sharia is oppressive” and disregard the fact that a variety of different interpretations of Sharia and Sharia standards exist, and that different schools of Islamic jurisprudence exist. They cannot say “Islam is oppressive towards women” and disregard the entirety of the historical and social status of women through an “Islamic” point of view–furthermore, they cannot disregard the hundreds of millions of women that find liberation and peace and comfort in religion that they do not feel oppressed by. If you are going to criticize an entire platform of religion, lifestyle, and culture it is YOUR responsibility to be specific in your criticism.
Which aspects of Islam are terroristic? Which factor of Sharia do you deem unacceptable and why? How and in which instances are the application of Islamic values oppressive towards women? These are the questions you are obligated to answer instead of aiming misdirected hatred towards people who do not deserve it.
When a woman is a daughter, she opens a door of paradise for her father. When she is a wife, she completes half of the deen of her husband. Allah has raised women’s status to so high that when she is a mother, Paradise lies under her feet. If everyone knew the true status of women in Islam, even the men would want to be women.
why do u keep trying to side with girls on things? who u trying to impress fam?
This is like one of the most common questions I get and I genuinely don’t understand it. Why do whoever you are sending these messages think that basic human empathy and mutual respect means I want something? Or I’m trying to impress someone? I used to think I’m cynical man…
Also, I was brought up in this way. My younger sister, whenever we split food or something, she would give me the bigger piece/the better thing. My mum always tells me to give to her wholeheartedly. The world’s not a very nice and fair place. And when she gets married and moves out with a new family, there’s no guarantee how much she would have to compromise so we need to make sure she has everything and more now. And you see, this is a great thing but just this mentality that she might have it hard, so instead of tackling this issue in the community, we try to make up for the bad things (problem number 1).
Guys are stupid. I’m not even talking about things you say. I say REALLY stupid and ignorant stuff sometimes in the heat of the moment. Maybe you guys are better than me which is great. Good on you. From personal experience, guys can be real dicks. To other people (not even just girls).
And girls have it hard you know? Like ignore ALL the dumb social things that come with culture and irrational behaviour. Menstruation is a natural process that enables them to have babies and babies are important to create for obvious reasons. Have you seen the prices of all these hygiene products that they NEED. It’s not even, hey I wanna pamper myself for a week. Like they need this stuff and my brain hurts looking at the prices. Guys have it easy. We don’t always appreciate it or see it but we do. Some idiots gonna say “oh but shaving huehuehue”. Look at the prices and compare my friend. Please just look. It’s actually crazy.
On top of this I feel the need to bring up Islam. If you’re Muslim and you think of yourself as a practising one… You’re doing it so wrong if you don’t have respect for them. You don’t understand how high the status of women are in Islam. It’s said so many times that men are protecters of women. If they want to be independent about it, great. Let them do their thing. But it doesn’t mean you stop sticking up for them when they need. It’s your job to protect women, not command them. So do your protecting.
Homie the only way a woman is weak is physically. Allah made women mothers for a reason. Do you think a weak person can give birth? can having a something growing in her body for nine months then spend hours pushing that out of her? You need to educate yourself on the status of women in islam. Women were made from the rib to stand by your side. You pick you up when you fall. To be your partner in this life. Not something that is lower than you.
Is Islam a male dominated religion? Are men and women equal in Islam? And is the veil a form of oppression?
Much has been said about the status of women within Islam, and many claims have been made that the Islamic legislation restricts, or even oppresses women. However, to what extent are these claims true? And are they based upon facts or distortions by those who wish to destroy the religion?
Islam, a male dominated religion?
Unrightfully so Islam is portrayed as a male-dominated religion, in which women appear to have no rights. But the contrary is true. For instance, Allaah says:
“And the women have the same rights as those that are over them from what is reasonable.” [2:228]
Umm Salamah as-Salafiyyah, in her book Supporting the Rights of Believing Women, states that Al-Haafidh Ibn Katheer explained this verse and said: ‘’It means that they have rights over the men similar to the rights that the men have over them. So giving each other their mutual rights is obligatory from what is reasonable…’’
Additionally, Wakee’ said on the authority Basheer ibn Sulaymaan, on the authority of ‘Ikramah, on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas who said: “Verily I love to beautify myself for my wife just as I love my wife to beautify themselves for me because Allaah says: “And the women have the same rights as those that are over them from what is reasonable.” [2:228]
Therefore, the spouses must speak to one another politely, with decent manners, and refraining from saying that which is not befitting and refraining from hitting one another. And just as men expect their wife to be beautiful looking and pleasant smelling, the same is expected from the man for the woman. In short, they both must live in kindness at all times and speak with warm speech, apply good manners and fulfil their obligations.They must cooperate upon the good and strive to have a wholesome marital life with one another and a lack of arguing and oppression.
What’s more is that it is even a obligation upon both spouses to live with one another in kindness. Allaah says:
“And live with them in kindness.” [4:19]
Sheikh ‘Abdul ‘Azeez ibn Baaz says, when discussing this verse, that ‘’it is incumbent upon the husband to live with his wife in kindness and vice-versa. Both of them must live together in kindness. The husband must strive in doing this as well as the wife.’’
Furthermore, women have not been created to serve men or be bossed around by them. On the contrary, they are equals and we see in the example of the Prophet (peace be upon him), he would busy himself with his family, clean his own garments, serve himself, patch his shoes, and do work around the house. Islam encourages all kinds of other excellent behaviour towards one’s wife. For instance, it is encouraged to give gifts and be easy upon ones wife as Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “A man should be like a child with his wife, happy and easy going, but when he sits with men, he should act as they do.”
So we see in all of this that Islam teaches that men should have great respect for women and treat them with utmost kindness, respect, and love. Furthermore, men have a great responsibility when it comes to women, and they are responsible in front of Allaah for their protection and maintenance, as Allaah has said:
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women. (An-Nisa 4:34)
Unfortunately this verse has been misinterpreted by some people, thinking that it gives men the right to curse and humiliate women, because they are their ‘’maintainers’’. However, this is in opposition to the legislation of Allaah.
Mistreatment of women and dealing cruelly with them are major errors, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who are best to their families and I am the best of you to my family”. Rather, justice, benevolence, and polite speech are all desired from the Muslim. Allaah the Most High says:
“And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Satan verily, sows disagreements among them. Surely, Satan is to man a plain enemy.” [17:53]
And likewise, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that men should not ‘’vilify their wives nor hit them in the face.’’ Rather, what is correct is that their speech should be free of obscenities, be polite, and understandable. Also, hitting women mercilessly whether that be for a reason or not is great injustice. And this matter [of beating the wife] needs some further explanation as many people have misunderstood it greatly. Allaah says:
‘’….As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.’’ [4:34]
Allaah has permitted hitting the women (lightly), only after abandoning/boycotting and admonishing them has had no effect, and this boycotting and admonishing can last for days, weeks or months, it is not a 2 min. thing after which the man gets up and beats his wife.
So firstly, it is not permissible to abandon the wife in bed before admonishing her first. Then, if the admonishment is without success and there is no positive response from the wife, then the husband is entitled to abandon the wife in bed. What this basically means is that he abandons sleeping with her in the same bed, without actually leaving the house.
In this way he abandons the wife by not remaining with her in the same place and some scholars say that he should stay out of the home, yet most of the scholars say that the abandoning actually takes place within the home, by abandoning sleeping within the same bed without having to actually leave the house.
Now, if this is also unsuccessful, the husband has the right to strike his wife as a last result, however this striking cannot be in the face or to cause any bodily injury. And this striking is not the type of striking in which a man insults his wife and beats her senselessly or hurts her, this is not what Islaam wants or is pleased with. Rather, it can be compared with a parent [lightly] beating his child after which the child will realise that it should not do any wrong. So after admonishing and abandoning the wife without success, the man now tries to steer the woman into the right direction with this method of last resort.
And because the beating is so lightly, some of the Salaf (pious predecessors) said that any beating should be done with a siwaak, which is a small stick that is used for cleaning the teeth and it is similar to a twig in size and weight.
So to be clear here, the beating can only take place after admonishment and abandoning have not been successful, and any beating that takes place cannot cause pain or injury to the woman, which is not the point of the beating, but rather to steer her into the right direction after other means have failed.
To conclude this part, I wish to add that Islam does not encourage men beating their wife’s, rather, it was merely a summary of what Islam actually says upon such matters.
Men and women are equal, but not the same
The Qur’an speaks about women in general and specific terms. It does not associate womanhood with inferiority or deficiency of any sort, or any primordial sin, or any disposition to sin not also found in men, or any disposition to induce sin in others not also found in men. It does not regard women as an appendage of men, but as distinct beings, each called individually, just as are men.
Similarly, the Qur’an establishes for women a distinct legal individuality, through rights of property and inheritance, and marriage contracts. The men are required to provide for their families; the women are not. Their property, including the dowry, remains theirs through the marriage, though they may choose to spend on their husbands or their children, as free-will offering or charity.
So, if looked at it from this perspective, there is great inequality between men and women, as women are favored significantly within Islam. However, it is incorrect to state that Islam favors men over women, or women over men, rather, they are equal, but not identical, with each gender having his or her own rightful status.
Islam acknowledges the difference in behavior between men and women, and the difference in their thinking and social behavior. Therefore, even though men and women are considered equal, they are not considered identical, and giving them identical rights would go against the very nature of men and women.
Islam, during the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) managed to overcome the huge gap in society in which some men held womanhood in such contempt that they would bury their infant daughters alive. Islam elevated women, honored women, and put an end to their humiliation, exploitation, and abuse. Women carry men in their womb for 9 months, and bring them up with care, love, and tenderness, such great people should not be shoe shiners or dishwashers in restaurants, as is happening in non-Islamic societies.
Rather, Islam makes the woman the queen of her house, and her job is to raise up generations, take care of the children, educate them, cultivate their characters, and taking care of the household affairs. Islam does not ask of women to be dishwashers at home, housemaids, cooks, or cleaners, and whenever she does any of these acts, they are counted as acts of charity on her behalf. In fact, she does not even have to nurse her own babies if the husband is able to provide someone else.
The wife is not a servant, but the man’s life partner. Allaah says:
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. [30:21]
The female and male, both were created to comfort each other, the man to comfort his wife, and the wife to comfort her husband, in addition to each fulfilling their rights, which are not identical, but fair, just, and in accordance to their natural dispositions.
Is the veil oppression?
The observance of Hijab by women is a commandment of Allaah, as He says:
O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful. [33:59]
The Qur’an states that it is a means to identify and recognize the Muslim women. And as for what follows after that, ‘’so as not to be annoyed’’, then some people have mistakenly identified this as a protection against rape or molestation. However, rape and molestation have nothing to do with sexual attractiveness, they are an act of aggression and hate.
Rather, what is implied here is that their recognition as Muslim women acts as a protection for them, because it shows men that they are not some toy to be played around with and demand consideration and respect.
Furthermore, the Hijab marks publicly and emphatically gender differences; enabling women to project their being women without being sized up as objects of desire and screens women from the anxiety, at least when out in public, of being subject to and evaluated by the sexual gaze of men.
Moreover, in no way or form is the purpose of Hijab to make women invisible within society, rather, they are to be present and visible with the power of their bodies switched off. The Hijab is also not a barrier to the intellectual and social advancement of women, and the history books are filled with examples of great Muslim women who observed the Hijab and at the same time were well-versed in law, theology, and fine arts. They were teaching men, giving lectures, sermons, and were even active in the battlefield as nurses of the sick and wounded, some even took it a step further and were fighting side by side with the men. As a matter of fact, it was a Muslim woman, Fatima al-Fihri, who established the world’s very first university!
Insha’Allaah, in my next post I will write about the great Muslim women throughout history and give examples to show the great achievements of Muslim women whilst following the glorious laws laid down by their Creator.