Starred-Up

2

Here’s an explanation that none of you asked for: I really like the stars, so when I started this blooog(?) I wanted my banner to have stars in it. None of the photos captured exactly what I was looking for, and I was afraid that uploading a picture of stars might be a misrepresentation of who I am. You see the stars differently than I do. Nobody sees anything from the same exact perspective, so how could I expect the stars to mean the same thing to you that they mean to me? Plus, like default computer backgrounds are photos of the stars, and I didn’t want to seem basic.

After deciding against a photo, I started looking for a piece of art. I found one that I really liked, but I couldn’t find the name of the artist, and I didn’t know how I felt about representing myself with someone else’s art.

Well fuck, I thought. I’m too stubborn and uncreative to come up with an alternative for my banner. Then I realized that neither of the options that I considered actually capture the stars. A piece of art can give an individuals personal impression of the stars. A photo can give an accurate, objective impression of the stars. But a photograph of the stars, and an artistic rendering of the stars are still both just impressions. Photographs and paintings are humans best effort to capture the stars, but there’s nothing quite like actually looking up and seeing the stars scattered above you like a million tiny holes in a giant tarp letting little beams of sunlight shine through. So I grabbed a marker and a sketchbook and gave my own basic impression of the stars.

The words “starry sky” and a drawing of a starry sky, are functionally the same– they remind us of the night sky. We’re familiar with the stars, so whether we see a drawing of the stars or even the word “stars,” internally we think “oh yeah, I know what those are.” In that moment, I knew that I couldn’t actually capture a starry sky, so I decided that the words would have to do.

Anyway… that’s about all that I’ve got. Please excuse my pretension. I’m just trying to be myself.

I’m on episode 13 of my Rebels re-watch and Tarkin’s interviewing Aresko and Grint about the rebel activity on Lothal. Aresko’s talking about how the incident the night before had no casualties and I’m sitting here thinking… what about this guy 

Pretty sure getting shot in the chest in his unarmored uniform from less than 3 meters away and then his bike smashing into the wall and exploding would make him a “casualty”. Aresko is lying

And then Tarkin’s talking again, and he’s all "…No casualties. Your Rebel cell is more principled than most.“ and I’m also sitting here thinking… okay. Sure.

So. I did a count. In the previous 12 episodes there has been a conservative total of at least 63 Imperial casualties, and that’s only counting direct shots, tosses off precipices to obvious deaths, and on-screen known numbers such as the blowing up of an Imperial shuttle where there were at least 5 Imperials depicted as being on that shuttle in previous scenes. 

I understand this show wants to paint the Ghost’s crew in as many Heroic Good Guy colours as it can, and they have a lot of great qualities, but not killing people is not one of them. 

Backstage | c.t.h.

this is my first blurb so i’m not even sure if i did this right and it probably sucks but it’s 11:29 p.m. here and i’m about to fall asleep on this laptop. here’s my (very late) entry to @hemmoful and @happiestluke ‘s blurb night!! hope you enjoy xx

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I’m happy you’re here”


You never got used to the feeling, and you’re not sure you ever would. Seeing your best friends play music to thousands of people. You remember how it felt when they played an opening act at Wembley Stadium. And today, you were in Madison Square Garden for the biggest night of the boys’ career so far.


The boys were in their dressing room, due to be on stage in less than 20 minutes, and you were wandering around backstage. They were nervous enough already and you didn’t want to add to that, so you let them have some band time. You stopped to talk to Luke’s family and any crew you recognized. It was nice to know that even though the band’s surroundings constantly changed, the people around them wouldn’t.


Before you knew it, it was 5 minutes to showtime. You were planning on heading to your seat, but someone from the crew you didn’t recognize had stopped you. They wanted to see you, she said. Having known them for years, you knew they didn’t really get nervous at their own gigs, but the fact that this was their most important show yet, well, that had to make anyone a little anxious.


You quietly thanked her, and found your way backstage, the screams of the excited fans growing louder as you walked closer to your destination. Within seconds you had found who you were looking for.


“Hey.” All their heads snapped in your direction as you smiled gently, “Crazy, isn’t it?”


“Sorry we called for you,” Calum apologized, stepping closer to you, “It’s just, I think we need one of your infamous pep talks right now.” To be honest, you were flattered that they wanted one right now. It proved that your love for them wasn’t one sided.


You stepped in the middle of the circle they had formed, “Do you guys remember the one I gave you at your first show back home in Sydney last year?”


Michael chuckled, remembering, “Yeah, what about it?”


You shrugged, “I’m gonna be honest, I used up all my good content that time.” They all groaned, but with the smiles on their faces, I knew they didn’t care, “But, I’ll try to whip something up,” You continued, biting your lip, “Just have fun out there. The fans are proud of you, your families are proud of you, and I’m proud of you. Gosh, the pride in my heart for you guys is endless. Just, go out there and have the time of your life. And if the nerves just almost threaten to swallow you up, just look for me in the front row. I’ll be there. I’ll always be there.”


“Damn. You’re good at this.” Luke commented after a couple seconds of awed silence.


Grinning, you turned to the person closest to you, which happened to be Ashton and crushed him into a hug. You remembered how welcome Ashton made you feel when Calum had dragged you to a band practice for the first time, how he was there to pull you hair back when you got drunk at your 18th birthday party, and how he was the first one to hug you at your high school graduation.


Next, Luke’s hug made you giggle as he lifted you off from the ground. You remembered how sweet he had been when he offered to buy your coffee after you had spilled it (typical you), how he was your shoulder to cry on at your teacher’s funeral, and how he had brought you home from a bar after a girl dumped a drink on your head, shooting dirty looks to anybody who was laughing.


You barely had stepped away from Luke when Michael’s familiar scent enveloped your nose. You remembered how much your stomach hurt from the things he said after a night where you thought you would never laugh again, you remember him bringing your favorite ice cream after you broke your leg, and you remember that when they left Australia in 2013 to tour around the world, he was the one who assured you that they would call you as often as possible.


And as you turned to the last member, tears had blurred your vision. But you still knew Calum was beautiful. You had always known.


It was quite unfortunate really, falling in love with your best friend, who was lucky to even get a month off at home. You weren’t quite sure when these feelings had started to form, probably growing stronger overtime. And at first, you brushed it off, convincing yourself that it was only because you didn’t see him every day anymore, but you were proven wrong, when he came back from tour. The feelings that you had kept at bay stumbled back as soon as you saw him at the airport. You remembered the day you had found out your boyfriend at the time cheated on you, and how his arms were around you that night. And how weeks later, after you had finally got the energy to go out to a party, you found him threatening your now ex. You remembered the day where he showed up at your door, soaked from the rainstorm, smile so big as he had just found out that they were going to headline their first world tour. And last but not least, you would remember how you felt in this moment, feeling as if your heart could burst with pride, happiness, and every emotion in between. And well of course, love.


With an audible sob, you pulled him into the tightest hug you could. He chuckled softly into your ear, which was such a nice sound compared to what had come out of you seconds before, “I’m happy you’re here.”


“There’s absolutely nowhere else in the world I would be right now.” You stated softly, but firmly, wanting him to know that every word of that sentence was the truth. You pulled away from the hug, no matter how much your brain was telling you not to. Because if you had kept hugging him, you knew there was a large chance he would never get on that stage, “I am so proud of you. I love you.”


He shot one last stunning grin, putting his earpiece in, “I love you too.” And you knew he meant it in a friendly way, but if that’s all you could get, you would gladly take it.


You gave them one last group hug, “Have fun. I’ll be right here when you get off.” And as you watched them go to the place they were most comfortable and heard the screams intensify, you knew.


You knew that these boys would always have your support. And you knew that the love of your life would not let you down.

Judas

“He can’t have you,” Poe whispered, too low for anyone but Ren to hear, the blood from his wound oozing down his arm and blending in with Ren’s dark robes as he pressed a possessive hand against Ren’s chest. “He can’t. I won’t let him.”

Wherein Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren come together, break apart, and struggle to reconcile and face their enemies as the galaxy shakes and reshapes itself around them.


Took me forever (sorry!), but chapter nine of Judas is now live on AO3.  Holy shit, I can’t believe this fic is almost at 50k.

LINK TO CHAPTER.