Sri-Lankan

10

This #unfairandlovely tag just has me feeling myself far too much. Thank you to all of the beautiful dark brown girls who remind me everyday that my skin color is a blessing.
Fuck the warped desi standards of beauty and colorism. We may not hear it from our families but we will hear it from each other:
Stay out in the sun for as long as you want.
Dress how you like.
Acknowledge and address your mental illness(es).
Acknowledge and embrace your sexuality.
Pursue the career you would find fulfillment in.
Falling in love is okay, and having your heart broken is okay, and you will survive and thrive and find a better love.
Confront victim-blamers.
I know some of the above stated encouragements will be hard to do, especially for those of us who live with our parents, but I hope that we can still find comfort in knowing our struggles are shared and we can lift each other up. Don’t let the patriarchal colorist heteronormative bullshit that so often permeates the desi community keep you from embracing the parts of your culture(s) that you love.Our diaspora is far-reaching and beautiful. We are desi and we are proud and we are the generation that will address these issues in our community.

youtube

I don’t think I’ve ever said I love you to my dad. He’s never said it either, but I know that it’s there. This has never bothered me though, because his way of saying “I love you” is more like “Drive home safe”, “Go get some sleep, you look tired”, or “Did you eat anything? I’ll go pickup some food”. I think that’s just a part of Indian culture, they don’t say these endearing words but they’d do anything in the world for us. They move to a different country and work hard just for their kids. Our parents are so self-sacrificing and so selfless. That’s what love is. I don’t need to hear it (although I’ll admit, it would make my day), but I know it’s there and that’s good enough for me :)

Next time an aunty asks if you can cook, ask them if their son’s an engineer, lawyer or a doctor.

If yes, then run.
—  Just kidding… wait for her to ask a question worth answering.