V long, for Ash, ok to read but u don’t gotta ;o
We met at the IMA that cool spring day. I was with 2 of my partners at the time (yikes) and you were with your best friend. We were all together, but i’d never met you, or talked to you other than thirst following you on instagram.
It was Francis’ birthday. I gave them deer teeth I’d got off of etsy. Francis and I talked about how we both had a crush on you. I asked if I could hold your hand while it was raining as we walked to meet my mom to pick me up. And holy fuck am I glad I did, because that was the most safe and real I’d felt in months.
You started dating Francis and I was devastated because I thought that you didn’t like me like that. I thought you were another unattainable boy, another one I’d lust after, sob after, but never be able to hold.
I told you I liked you and you thought I was joking. I was sad because you didn’t say it back. But a few days later you asked me out, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. YOU are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Skype calls making fun of everyone in our life for the first month. Shit talking exes and even partners, talking about life and people who hurt us. You promised you’d never hurt me purposely, and it was the first time I’d ever believed someone when they said that.
Now here comes one month, and our first ‘real’ date. My mom was being a cunt, as always. I decided I would run away. In my manic impulsive state, you trying to calm me down, and me having no idea where to go, I got an uber over to your house.
I remember our first kiss so well. How could I forget it? I hugged you and you kissed me and it was the best I’d felt in so long. Nothing else mattered, just you and I. Your lips on mine. We went into your room and cuddled. Then we went to CVS and bought hair dye and a disposable camera. We took pictures of each other kissing and your dog, and everything felt right.
We took a lot of polaroids, it was around mother’s day and I had bought a rose. You gave me your sweater and I wore it to work the next morning.
2 months was great, everything was amazing, you were and always would be, my baby. We got engaged and everything was lovely. No one thought we were going to last, thought you were just a fling, a fascination. I hope you know you are much more than that.
3 months we hit some issues. Emerson happened. I was always drunk or high. You said you missed the old me. But you were there for me every second of that. Through all the shit, you believed me, you comforted me, you were there.
You were the first person I told what happened to. And as always, you were there. When I had my seizure we cuddled in the hospital bed and you were there for every moment of it. You helped me and called 911. My mom liked you then, because she knew you were a good one.
Summer 16 was fucking horrible. I broke up with you more than once and I was always high on something, my new fascination was pills. I fucked Lukas and Stevie and then called you crying, still high on a lot of xanax. I could go on, but honestly, it still hurts that I did that.
I didn’t realize that I had all I needed right in front of me. I had the light of my life right there.
A bit before month four you took me back, and holy shit am I glad you did. We saw that movie on our 4 months and your dad found out we were dating that night. I couldn’t sleep over anymore, but we made it work. No matter what, we’ve always made it work.
When Emerson tried to contact me you held me and told me you’d fucking fight him. You sent him a mean message and he hasn’t talked to me since. You have sharp fangs, but for me they go soft. You said you’d always protect me, and to this day that’s true.
5 months together and one month sober. You helped me through all of my breakdowns and wanting to use. Baby I don’t need pills when I have someone as lovely as you. Drugs can’t hold me. Fuck that ‘drugs are my lover’ bullshit I used to pull. Baby you are the only drug I need, my fucking world.
6 months today and you’re the first person to ever actually make me cum, The love of my life. My longest lover and the only one I want ever again. Forever and always, Ashton. Til death do us part. Forever and ever, here’s to being 1 month closer to getting out of this shitty town and starting our new life together, baby. My universe, the demon doggo to my angel mouse. Whenever you hold me I forget what I was so upset about.