This morning you woke up at 6.30am to go to the gym, as usual.
At 6.31am you reset your alarm to 7.00am and went back to sleep. As usual.
You are a worthless puddle of DNA.
I also know you’re thinking… “things are busy at Sorted, there’s food everywhere and by the time I get home I’m too busy/tired to exercise.” Grow a pair. You spend about 4 hours a week watching 24. Jack Bauer isn’t too tired to save Los Angeles and Kim Bauer wouldn’t look twice at you with that gut.
It’s counterproductive for me to keep going on about what a procrastinating little tit you are so I’m going to tell how to sort your life out…
Get up at 6.30am tomorrow morning and walk to the gym. Don’t go in. Turn around and come home. Do that 3 days in a row. That’s all. After that you’ll feel like it’s a waste of time just turning up and you’ll go.
Stop eating f****g fried chicken. You know how to cook. Roast some chicken and vegetables. You love that and it takes 20 mins. Make a plan of the stuff you’re going to make for the week and buy it tonight.
Go for a 1 mile run. Then next time make it 2 miles and so on. You know it’s an easy place to start and it won’t kill you. And you do have time, you spend Saturday watching stuff you’ve already seen. The next time you go to watch This is the End or Friends, slap yourself in the face and put your trainers on.
Write back on this blog one month from today with what improvements you’ve made. If it’s not good enough you’re going to look like a right tool and you’ll deserve it. If you’ve done something worthwhile, you may inspire someone. Don’t flake out. Man up.
SORT IT OUT.
I actually hate you right now but I’m doing this because you’re better than this,
So I’ve been watching a lot of SORTED Food’s videos recently, and I have to say, Ben has an obsession with putting mint on pretty much every single dessert. The “inevitable sprig of mint” quote comes from this video, by the way.
Let's put an end to these rumours... by Ben Ebbrell
TYRONE Ebbrell, Red Shorts, Quiche and Super Geek… I have to blame Mike for all of these. I’m not going to say there isn’t a little truth to some of them (Tyrone being the exception to this rule) but I feel like they’ve been somewhat accentuated by Mr Huttlestone’s editing control in FridgeCam. Not sure what I’m talking about? Take at look…
IS now a good time to put the record straight? I’ve been nagged and nagged to create some ‘Made Personal’ episodes from my place and I reckon we ought to make a start! I wasn’t convinced you guys would be interested in me cooking up some of my personal recipes from my kitchen… I’ve always been more of a fan of creating stuff for other people… I guess that stems from my background in hospitality… “service before self”!
NOT that you’ll believe me… but it’ll give me a chance to finally squash the rumours that:-
- … and that, if given the choice I’d happily live off nothing but freshly baked quiche. I mean who doesn’t love a tasty slice of Quiche Lorraine… but come on guys, not even Delia (the original Goddess of cooking) would sacrifice the worldly pleasures and variety of food to limit herself to just one egg-baked item. Oh, and whilst we’re on the topic… I am a fan of Delia… but no I don’t have her posters and calendars all over my bedroom wall!
A serious challenge though… after writing and developing almost 1000 recipes for Sorted (with the help of James and Gaby of course) how do I pick a couple that are most personal to represent me. Impossible, surely?
REAL rant over… what I’d actually love to highlight and celebrate is how united we all are though as a community. The fact that we have so many “in jokes” is uniquely brilliant. It’s the genuine result of us sharing such an awesome journey for the past few months and years on YouTube. What started as us mucking about with food in our kitchens has exploded online. It’s no longer just a pub table surrounded by a few close mates… but a global table with hundreds of thousands of you sat at it… chatting and throwing banter around. Even if I do get the brunt of that abuse! Ha.
PERSON to person and face to face would always be the best way to share recipes, cooking tips and in jokes… but let’s be practical here… we span over 150 countries together so that’s simply not possible. But Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and Instagram allow us to do that… and it’s the buzz that you guys stir up that spurs us on to create more. Talking of more… we have something pretty cool up our sleeves to share with you shortly that we genuinely believe will bring us even closer together. And we can’t wait!