Sorry Pisces

cute things about the signs
  • aries:their laugh
  • taurus:the way their face lights up when they smile
  • gemini:their small little smirks when they're right
  • cancer:the way they cover their face when they laugh
  • leo:the crinkles around their eyes when they smile and laugh
  • virgo:how they blush when embarrassed
  • libra:the way they giggle quietly
  • scorpio:their smolder
  • sagittarius:their look of glee
  • capricorn:their face when they tell a really good joke
  • aquarius:i don't know an aquarius i'm sorry
  • pisces:the way they look while daydreaming
The signs as Sims Fails

Fire signs: (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius)

Caption: Husband: Look, honey; I can dislocate my shoulders! 

Wife *Sobing into hands*: Why must you put our family through this!?

Earth signs: (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn)

Caption: He sat at the computer to work overtime and then disappeared… and so did the rest of his computer…

Air signs: (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius)

Caption: anyway here’s wonderwall

Water signs: (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)

Caption: I loaded up my game today and this happened. They don’t even own that computer.


The Signs as Fruit Trees (i had to im sorry)

Aries: Apple Tree

Taurus: Pear Tree

Gemini: Cherry tree

Cancer: Coconut tree

Leo: Mango Tree

Virgo: Almond Tree

Libra: Grapefruit Tree

Scorpio: Pomegranate Tree

Sagittarius: Fig tree

Capricorn: Tamarillo tree

Aquarius: Plum tree

Pisces: Peach tree

Things the signs say most often

Aries - I’m fine.
Taurus - Yes.
Gemini - What?
Cancer - Seriously?
Leo - I can’t.
Virgo - Get me some coffee.
Libra - Help.
Scorpio - I’m tired.
Sagittarius - I want Starbucks.
Capricorn - Yaaaaaas.
Aquarius - AHHGG.
Pisces - Sorry.

cinnamon roll vs. sinnamon roll zodiac squads
  • I look like a cinnamon roll but i could probably kill you:Taurus,Capricorn,Aquarius
  • I look like i could kill you but i am actually a cinnamon roll:Scorpio,Leo,Gemini
  • I look like a cinnamon roll and i really am a cinnamon roll:Cancer,Pisces,Virgo,Libra
  • I look like i could kill you and i'm really gonna kill you:Aries,Sagittarius
Things that remind me of the signs
  • Aries:bold makeup, moshpits, running from security, sex in a car, talking about heartbreak, movie theaters
  • Taurus:fistfights, drunk sex, gold jewelry, Adidas, public speaking, festivals, holding hands when it's cold
  • Gemini:library books, high school crushes, cheesy movies, gossip, blizzards, numb fingers, playing with hair
  • Cancer:black tattoos, 3 a.m. talks about existence, running til your lungs hurt, false promises, freckles
  • Leo:pumpkin spice coffee, warm hugs, cosplay, beautiful make up, crying in bathrooms, scarves, thigh highs
  • Virgo:doodles, drunken kisses, old TV shows, flirty texts, forgotten tea, cheesy puns
  • Libra:I don't know a single fuckin Libra this is an outrage
  • Scorpio:holding hands, spicy food, talking for hours, being protected, scary movies, incense, thrift shops
  • Sagittarius:smoking weed, flirty conversation, cigarette smoke, cheap perfume, running make up, sarcastic humor
  • Capricorn:throwing knives, bloodied fists, binge eating, hearts beating fast, dry humor, angry emails
  • Aquarius:pick up lines, blended coffees, road trips with loud music, cuddles, insecurity, beanies
  • Pisces:slow texts back, redbull, thin hoodies, bruises, emotional fights, spooning til you fall asleep
When the signs are hinting for you to stop talking
  • ARIES:short responses and limited eye contact, maybe even reduced to a grunt or animalistic sound
  • TAURUS:looking around maybe not even responding, most likely to just ignore them until they fade away
  • GEMINI:trying to change the subject and wishing for someone more entertaining to come along
  • CANCER:probably the most blatant, can literally just cut you off and not care
  • LEO:if you've been talking about yourself for too long, they're not going to keep listening, you should know
  • VIRGO:maybe the nicest about it, they'll try and listen for as long as they wish to torture themselves, but don't count on them to look entertained
  • LIBRA:tries to wait for a small pause and then changes the subject or sees a new person and calls them, v smooth, v sneaky
  • SCORPIO:cannot even contain the sarcasm and disinterest in their eyes
  • SAGITTARIUS:they're usually actually interested in what everyone has to say, but they will respond with complete honesty of their opinion so watch out
  • CAPRICORN:will listen and maybe make faces, but can't wait to tell someone what dumb thing you just said
  • AQUARIUS:they know who they don't like to hear speak, they might just pretend you're not even there, real cold
  • PISCES:will try v hard to look interested but can't help but looking interested in absolutely anything else going on, if you're not getting full attention, you're barely getting any
musicians/singers/rappers born under each sign

ARIES: Al Green, Aretha Franklin, Big Sean, Billie Holiday, Brendon Urie, Damon Albarn, Diana Ross, Dusty Springfield, Elton John, Eric Clapton, Ezra Koenig, Fergie, Gerard Way, Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Marvin Gaye, Matt Healy, Norah Jones, Patrick Carney, Pharrell Williams, Steven Tyler, Win Butler

TAURUS: Adele, Billy Joel, Bob Seger, Bono, Cher, Dan Auerbach, David Byrne, Enrique Iglesias, Iggy Pop, James Brown, Janet Jackson, Joey Ramone, Josh Homme, Justin Young, Kelly Clarkson, Kim Gordon, Krist Novoselic, Mac DeMarco, Meek Mill, Patrick Stump, Paul Banks, Pete Townshend, Ritchie Valens, Robert Smith, Roy Orbison, Sam Smith, Sid Vicious, Stevie Wonder, Willie Nelson

GEMINI: André 3000, Bob Dylan, Brandon Flowers, Brian Wilson, Devendra Banhart, Gotye, Ice Cube, John Bonham, Kanye West, Kylie Minogue, Lana Del Rey, Lenny Kravitz, Macklemore, Matt Bellamy, Matt Hitt, Morrissey, Nancy Sinatra, Nathan Williams, Notorious B.I.G., Paul McCartney, Pete Wentz, Prince, Rivers Cuomo, Stevie Nicks, Tupac, Victoria Legrand

CANCER: 50 Cent, Andrew Bird, Ariana Grande, Ariel Pink, Beck, Carlos Santana, Courtney Love, Cyndi Lauper, Debbie Harry, Don Henley, Duffy, Ian Curtis, Isaac Brock, Jack White, Jason Mraz, Kate Nash, M.I.A., Missy Elliott, Nicole Scherzinger, Ringo Starr, Selena Gomez, Sky Ferreira, Sufjan Stevens

LEO: Bobby Shmurda, Charli XCX, Chief Keef, Demi Lovato, Elliott Smith, Freddie Cowan, James Hetfield, Jesse Rutherford, Joe Jonas, Madonna, MCA, Mick Jagger, Robert Plant, Serj Tankian, Soulja Boy, Whitney Houston

VIRGO: 2 Chainz, Amy Winehouse, Beyoncé, Buddy Holly, Dee Dee Ramone, Eazy-E, Elvis Costello, Faris Badwan, Fiona Apple, Florence Welch, Freddie Mercury, Hank Williams, Jarvis Cocker, Jason Derulo, Julian Casablancas, Keith Moon, Lacey Mosley, Liam Payne, Ludacris, Michael Bublé, Michael Jackson, Nas, Niall Horan, Nick Cave, Nick Jonas, Patsy Cline, P!nk, Ryan Ross, Van Morrison, Wiz Khalifa

LIBRA: Alex Trimble, A$AP Rocky, Ashanti, Avril Lavigne, Ben E. King, Bruce Springsteen, Childish Gambino, Chuck Berry, Eminem, Gwen Stefani, Halsey, John Lennon, John Mayer, Lil Wayne, Marina Diamandis, Matt Shultz, Nico, Paul Simon, PJ Harvey, Ray Charles, Snoop Dogg, Sting, St. Vincent, Thom Yorke, T.I., Tom Petty, Usher

SCORPIO: Ad-Rock, Anthony Kiedis, Art Garfunkel, Bethany Cosentino, Björk, Chad Kroeger, Chelsea Wolfe, Chris Baio, Ciara, Courtney Barnett, Drake, Frank Ocean, Grace Slick, Jeff Buckley, Joni Mitchell, Karen O, Katy Perry, Kevin Jonas, Lorde, Neil Young, P. Diddy, Schoolboy Q, Thomas Mars, Travis Barker, Vanilla Ice

SAGITTARIUS: Alison Mosshart, Billy Idol, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Frank Sinatra, Janelle Monae, Jay-Z, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Nelly Furtado, Nicki Minaj, Ozzy Osbourne, Rita Ora, Rostam Batmanglij, Sara Bareilles, Sia, Taylor Swift, Tina Turner, Tom Delonge, Trey Songz, Tyler Joseph, Vance Joy

CAPRICORN: Aaliyah, Alex Turner, Brooks Nielsen, Dave Grohl, David Bowie, Eddie Vedder, Ellie Goulding, Elvis Presley, FKA Twigs, Hayley Williams, Janis Joplin, Jimmy Page, Joan Baez, John Legend, John Paul Jones, Jordin Sparks, Lil Jon, LL Cool J, Louis Tomlinson, Mac Miller, Marilyn Manson, Pat Benatar, Patti Smith, Pitbull, Ricky Martin, Skrillex, Tom Meighan, Zayn Malik

AQUARIUS: Alicia Keys, Andrew VanWyngarden, Axl Rose, Billie Joe Armstrong, Bob Marley, Brandon Boyd, Cat Power, Danielle Haim, Dr. Dre, Ed Sheeran, Eddie Van Halen, Gucci Mane, Harry Styles, J. Cole, Justin Timberlake, Kevin Parker, Kid Cudi, Lupe Fiasco, Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, Riff Raff, Sam Cooke, Shakira, Steve Perry, The Weeknd

PISCES: Adam Levine, Alex Kapranos, Bert McCracken, Billy Corgan, Chester Bennington, Chris Martin, David Gilmour, Earl Sweatshirt, George Harrison, Hozier, Jake Bugg, Jhené Aiko, Johnny Cash, Jon Bon Jovi, Justin Bieber, Ke$ha, Kurt Cobain, Lou Reed, Luke Pritchard, Lykke Li, Mark Foster, Mark Hoppus, Miles Kane, Nate Reuss, Pete Doherty, Regina Spektor, Rihanna, Roger Daltrey, Tyler The Creator

What the signs are scared of...
  • Aries :losing control
  • Taurus :being used
  • Gemini :ruining a friendship/moving in the wrong direction/being broken up with
  • Cancer :death
  • Leo :never changing or growing
  • Virgo :not being right/being seen as unintelligent/being mistaken for disloyal
  • Libra :rejection/making the wrong decision
  • Scorpio :dying alone/hurting someone's feelings
  • Sagittarius :commitment/staying still for too long
  • Capricorn :never achieving anything/being belittled
  • Aquarius :being boring/unoriginal
  • Pisces :oblivion/the universe
What the Signs Want to Destroy
  • Aries:Minions
  • Taurus:MINIONS
  • Gemini:minions
  • Cancer:M I N I O N S
  • Leo:MiNIOnS
  • Virgo:snoinim
  • Libra:mInIons
  • Scorpio:MiNioNS
  • Sagittarius:mInIOnS
  • Capricorn:/ˈminyəns/
  • Aquarius:mInIoNs
  • Pisces:Everyone wants to destroy minions and you know it
the signs as dad jokes

aries: i’ll call you later. > don’t call me later, call me dad!

taurus: “did you hear about the kidnapping at school?? it’s okay, he woke up.”

gemini: what time is it? > “time for you to get a watch.”

cancer: dad, i’m cold. > “go stand in the corner, it’s 90 degrees.”

leo: “i stayed up all night wondering why the sun went down, then it dawned on me.”

virgo: “what do you call jay-z when he’s sleeping? jay-zzzzzzz.”

libra: “wouldn’t you say that whiteboards are quite… remarkable??”

scorpio: “why doesn’t dracula have any friends? because he’s a pain in the neck.”

sagittarius: tell me a dad joke > “you.”

capricorn: ”what do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsssssh.”

aquarius: dad, i’m hungry. > “hi hungry, i’m dad.”

pisces: “singing in the shower is fun until you get shampoo in your mouth – then it’s a soap opera.”

The Signs As The Story So Far Lyrics
  • Aries:These days I tend to see red
  • 'Cause all the women swimming in my head
  • Are not the same ones laying in my bed
  • But I do my best to ignore it
  • Taurus:Give up and go home, alone, and suffer some more.
  • This head of stone let's no one in anymore.
  • Gemini:My walls are built up high forever bound to be steep
  • I've got a birds eye view of all the secrets you keep.
  • Cancer:You have no idea how unproductive it is to fall in and out of you as often as I do.
  • And lately I've been feeling grey but today,
  • I'm alright no thanks to you.
  • Leo:I know it's been a while
  • But I will not fake this stupid smile
  • ‘Cause you robbed me, fed me the line
  • Virgo:I sense your purpose
  • So tense inside yet not on the surface
  • And if this is worth it
  • Then why is there still small talk?
  • Libra:Stuck in your web, flailing my arms
  • Trying to break loose from your charm
  • Split up your mind, do you some harm...
  • No stranger to harm
  • Scorpio:I wish you'd stop running from your problems and run to me instead
  • Black and blue, eyes bloodshot red while she's passed out in her bed
  • Sagittarius:It cuts so much deeper
  • Why would I wanna see her?
  • Only had one beer
  • And I don’t wanna sleep here
  • Capricorn:Fuck an apology, I'm not sorry for anything
  • I've been holding back my apathy for far too long
  • You don't deserve what you haven't earned
  • And your place in my heart has just grown so small.
  • Aquarius:I’m not so open like the window you are
  • The glass just reflects the scar
  • Pisces:Damn it's hard to find sustenance when all I had was love for this and now you don't.
  • Now I just abuse substances to drown out your accomplishments, however few.
Problems the signs have

Aries: Always being angry

Taurus: Eating food and watching Netflix 24/7 and not leaving the house for 5 months straight

Gemini: Having troubles running Hell and being satan cause all the voters be voting for Scorpio instead

Cancer: Getting told “not today maybe tomorrow” and crying for the next 25 years

Leo: Never realizing that other people exist

Virgo: Being a smart ass way to often

Libra: Dumb blonde

Scorpio: Stressing out over what they gonna do if the voters vote for them and not Gemini for satan elections

Sagittarius: Being way to broke to travel

Capricorn: Stressing out cause they got 10 jobs and going back to school to get a new degree…. For fun?

Aquarius: Not being able to wear their multicoloured wig to work cause it’s “unprofessional”

Pisces: They wifi being down and not being able to watch anime

yo this is another description of the signs based on people i know

Aries: cute af. become jealous easily. care about people and want them to be happy. always tired. when they’re angry they’ll make sure others notice, in one way or another.

Taurus: somehow always end up with all responsibility. make quality jokes. disappointed in the world. quite edgy. their eyes are SO PRETTY

Gemini: take the best selfies. always occupied with something. they might look like they don’t like you but that’s just what their face look like when they’re thinking, and they’re ALWAYS thinking about something. have a lot of secrets. will do very, VERY weird things when drunk.

Cancer: they want to save the world and they probably will. not many get their jokes. somehow they always know how to help you with your specific problem. bitter about their past. radical.

Leo: dirty minded. if someone fucks with their friends they will fight them, no questions about it. complains a lot but will eventually fix the problem. when something is interesting, the rest of the world doesn’t exist. love being out in the sun.

Virgo: their headphones are their most important possession. love singing, talented or not. try to make everyone feel included. creative. will do almost anything for money.

Libra: think a lot about the purpose of their lifes. might come across as a bit prude. changes opinions and body language depending on who they’re with, but it’s not intentional. they have big hearts that are easy to break. crave success.

Scorpio: red lipstick looks great on them. their hugs are the best. forget to think before they speak. will probably break your heart tbh. they love expensive things.

Sagittarius: can’t handle alcohol, no matter what they say. huge nerds. won’t take shit. others don’t get it when they’re flirting. society makes them sad, or angry. Mostly both.

Capricorn: hurt to the core. want to fix everything, even when there’s nothing to fix. love to travel. talented bastards. mostly joke about themselves.

Aquarius: would rather tell the truth than keep the peace. love gossiping, but can be hard to get to know. know stuff about things that makes you wonder why the hell they know those things??? cry easily.

Pisces: to innocent for this world. their jokes aren’t funny but they don’t care. rebels. if you touch their phone, you’re dead. nice butts.