what she says: I’m fine 

what she means: I don’t understand why they can’t professionally record broadway shows and release them to the public, there would be no need for bootlegs, broadway fans FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD could watch, it would help expand the theatre community and preserves something that is so beautiful and special to so many people.

Hey, reblog/like if anyone out there has watched a boot but is still dying to see the show live, it just doesn’t work out financially, geographically, or timewise (it’s already off Broadway/tour). I’m trying to make a fucking point.

10

show curtains

legally blonde // lion king // hello, dolly // sweeney todd // matilda // wicked // something rotten // sunset boulevard // book of mormon // gentelman’s guide

Different names for musicals

Dear Evan Hansen: lies
Hamilton: political screaming children
Heathers: death by slushy
Be More Chill: don’t take that chill pill
Shrek: it’s not easy being green
Newsies: newsboys slay the day
Rent: broke and dying
Book Of Mormon: offensive
Wicked: it’s not easy being green 2
Waitress: pergenat??
Something Rotten: tap dancing eggs
Come From Away: smol beans with accents
Tuck Everlasting: whoops hamilton

things some of my favourite musicals have taught me

-how to make an omelette
-a basic understanding of the history of america
-a basic understanding of the history of america from a mormon’s perspective
-in order to be successful, you don’t need to have brains or knowledge, just popular
-Spanish
-how to kill someone and make it look like a suicide
-how many minutes there are in a year
-how to tell if someone is gay or European
-it’s really easy to fake emails
-don’t sell drugs kids, even if you have the hots for the person you’re selling them to
-always be aware of autocorrect
-how to break in a glove
-nice is different than good
-everyone’s a little bit racist sometimes
-it’s too late to screw at 4am
-revolutions likely end in death
-almost all bankers, bums and barbers know how to read
-‘pop’ is a suitable synonym for the verb ‘chew’
-how many people resided in newfoundland before 9/11
-how many people were redirected to newfoundland after 9/11

(might add more as time goes on)

Terrible Lessons You Learned from Musical Theatre
  • Hamilton: Don't fuck up. Ever. You will die.
  • Waitress: You know what's great? Adultery.
  • Chicago: Easiest way to fame and fortune? Murder.
  • Wicked: Only pretty people can overthrow the government.
  • Rent: Don't ever compromise in the slightest, especially if you're poor and dying.
  • Hunchback of Notre Dame: Nothing good will ever happen to you if you're physically disabled. But you'll sound great.
  • Heathers: The popular kids were right, you really should avoid the weirdos in high school.
  • Aladdin: Lie your way to a good relationship. Especially if she's rich. She'll get over it.
  • Book of Mormon: Blasphemy and fan-fiction are great for stabilizing war-torn parts of Africa.
  • School of Rock: Lie your way to a great career. Especially if your boss is hot. She'll get over it.
  • Something Rotten: Originality is dead, but that's hilarious.
  • Phantom of the Opera: Love never dies, and neither will this show.
  • Lion King: Julie Taymor did something right.
Sorting Musicals into Hogwarts Houses
  • Gryffindor: Bare: A Pop Opera,
  • RENT, Book of Mormon, Les Miserables, Groundhog Day,
  • Waitress
  • Hufflepuff: Dear Evan Hansen, Come From Away, In the Heights, School of Rock, Fun Home, Wicked
  • Slytherin: Falsettos, Avenue Q, Dr. Horrible, Chicago, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Legally Blonde
  • Ravenclaw: Great Comet, Hamilton, Something Rotten, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, Matilda, Heathers
Things my friends have said as musicals:

Les Misérables ~ “COME ON GUYS LETS TAKE DOWN THE GOVERNMENT!!”

Phantom of the opera ~ “but would it be okay to kidnap someone if I love them? I would look after them.”

Hamilton ~ “You know what, I freaking love history like bitches of the past!”

Great comet ~ “Maybe we can run away together and have lots of babies!”

Rent ~ “When I’m older I’m not going to pay my rent, I refuse to because people are dying and they should help them instead.”
Me: Okay???

The Book of Mormon ~ “RELIGION IS SEXY!!!!!”

Falsettos ~ “I was robbed, they took it away when it was mine!” (I’m sorry but they deserved the tony)

Wicked ~ “My sexuality is pink, wait no… green! Yeah green!”

Dear Evan Hansen ~ “I am not noticed by anyone, but when I die I will become a natural phenomenon!”

Be more chill ~ “Is joining the play being gay, I’m not gay but is that gay?”

Come from away ~ “let’s move to Canada, it’s so nice there, I love Canada.”

Waitress ~ “ADULTERY IS FUN! Just kidding don’t be a dick.”

Newsies ~ “Okay but seriously I’m sexually attracted to newspapers! HELP ME!”

Something rotten ~ “Why does everyone hate me? I’m amazing!”

i love season one dean with his too-big leather jacket and his ripped worn out jeans and his bracelets and ring and necklace and his freckles and long eyelashes and perfect jawline and cheeky grin

and his wide desperate eyes and his frustration because all he wants to have his family all in one place and sam and dad just can’t SEE that like he does and i love how he leans into every touch he gets because he’s so starved for it and i love the shadows under his eyes because he’s only 26 but he feels like he’s been living forever and wow oh wow i just love season one dean

You lied to me. I was a kid. You promised you’d keep me safe. And then you make a deal with Azazel. Yeah, it saved Dad’s life, but I’ll tell you something else that happened. Because on November 2, 1983, old Yellow Eyes came waltzing in to Sammy’s room because of your deal. You left us. Alone.‘Cause Dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect Mom, the perfect family… was gone. And I…I had to be…more than just a brother. I had to be a father and I had to be a mother, to keep him safe. And that wasn’t fair.

MUSICALS ASKS

Since I’m deep in my musical phase right now, leave a musical in my ask and I’ll reply with:

Favourite Character:

Least Favourite Character:

Favourite OBC Cast Member:

Favourite Current Cast Member (If Applicable):

Favourite Song:

Least Favourite Song:

Favourite Act (If Applicable):

Favourite Ship:

Least Favourite Ship:

If There is Something I Would Change about The Musical:

Ratings: ?/10

Broadway Shows As Theatre Kids

Hamilton: really talented, woke af, want to hate them but can’t and never will

Lion King: senior, guaranteed a lead every time, universally adored

Matilda: The kid your director brings up from the middle school to play the child parts

Finding Neverland: says they like theatre, but really they only know disney, talks a lot about how messed up the original disney stories are

Something Rotten: actually really good, but always talks about how bad they did

Jersey Boys: the guy who wants to”give theatre a try”, the whole football team comes to see the show bc of him, the soccer team might show up too

Waitress: show mom, always has food, will fight anyone who was mean to her kids

School of Rock: watches the movie versions of the show the director picked and thinks that’s what the show is gonna be, doesn’t pay attention in rehearsal

Fun Home: gets all the female leads and all the guys want her, hella gay, her girlfriend is always at rehearsal

Beautiful: writes their own songs and posts them on youtube, check her out on bandcamp!

Les Miserables: shy kid with the amazing vibrato that no one expects (secretly a rebel)

An American in Paris: took dance since age of 3, not a huge fan of theatre, takes any chance to dance

Fiddler on The Roof: total dad, constant dad jokes, will crush you with a hug

Wicked: gets cast for her voice but can NOT act for the life of her