Someone cares

Ok but think about a possible FitzSimmons proposal scene in the (near?) future and Jemma throwing her arms around Fitz’s neck and then she grasps his face and starts kissing him just like she did in the pod at the bottom of the ocean only this time they are joyful tears and she’s whispering yes over and over instead of no.

the parallel would kill me.

Dilema. Do I :

a) So out to the pub tonight for 4 hours with my old highschool friends who I’ve not seen in a while now. Transport provided.

b) stay in with my hot water bottle, chocolate and stomach cramps and watch Call The Midwife / read a book.

The introvert struggle is real. Thoughts?

Don’t kill yourself.

Don’t

Kill

Yourself

Please.


Instead let the old you fade away and reinvent yourself. Let the old you figuratively die. Recreate yourself and get the help you need, become the person you want to be.


 I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, it’s gonna be hard as hell. But don’t kill yourself, you’re wonderful, you’re beautiful, you’re important, you’re loved, there so many people that care. Let them help you, let them be there. You’re not alone in this, together we can help each other survive. Someday the world will understand, someday there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hold onto someone’s hand and never let go.



 It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to feel angry, it’s okay to let yourself feel hurt. Be honest with how bad you feel, let yourself express how badly it feels. Go punch a pillow, go scream and cry into the wind. Go stomp around and kick rocks. Do anything you can to let it all out. Just make sure you don’t hurt yourself or those around you while doing so.


Call a suicide hotline if you need to, text a good friend and talk to them, or tell a family member. Or write down how you feel and then rip it up and throw it away or burn it or crumple it up and throw it away.


Go get some food that you enjoy, you go get the tub of ice cream and you shovel as much as you want into your mouth. You deserve it. However and whatever you use to cope with the pain you feel everyday do it.


Don’t let anyone shame you, don’t put up with people’s bullshit when they tell you you’re overreacting. Or that you’re throwing a tantrum. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should react to something. Don’t let people abuse you or your feelings. Don’t let people get away with that shit anymore.


Go out and seize the day, make it yours. However know it’s okay if you cannot always do these things. You don’t need to prove your value with good grades, or from hard work. You deserve to be happy, healthy, safe and sound. Don’t let anyone tell you to stop talking about how unfair things are. Because life should be fair, no one should got without food, water, healthcare or anything that is needed to survive. 


We need you here with us, we need you to help us fight for this world’s future. It’s not okay, the world is very bad now. But we can make it better. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it and say things aren’t that bad. They are, it really is that bad. I know it’s scary, I know you feel helpless, I know you feel scared, alone and miserable.


 That’s okay, it’s okay to feel the way you do. Your feelings are important, your feelings are valid and real. You’re not lazy, you’re not broken, you’re not a burden, you’re not stupid or useless. You’re brave… every single day you live through proves it. 


Crying doesn’t make you weak, it shows you’ve been strong for far too long. Let yourself cry, cry as long as you need. Cry for weeks, cry for months, cry for years. Don’t let anyone tell you to get over it. That’s not how emotions work. You can’t just get over them, emotions aren’t a faucet you can turn on and off. Emotions are like flowing water, always changing, always moving, never stopping. 


If you need to lean on someone. Needing help isn’t shameful and seeking attention isn’t bad. Seeking out comfort is nothing you should feel guilty for or ashamed about. You need attention then seek it, tell someone you need comfort. Let someone know you’re hurting. 


Opening up is one of the hardest things to ever do. It took me years to open up to people about my depression. I know how scary, how painful and how exhausting it was to talk about. But you have to talk about it for the sake of your well being. Just try to tell someone, try your best. Your best is always enough. Don’t let others tell you that your best isn’t enough. If you’re giving all you can give then that’s okay. 


You’re okay, you’re enough, everything you accomplish in one day is enough. If you get up and finally take that shower you’ve been putting off for a few days then good for you and I mean it. Good job for taking care of yourself. If you finally go outside for the first time in months to talk a walk or to sit down under the sun then that’s awesome. If you get up and eat a meal then that’s great. 


You don’t have to do something great or something amazing. What you can do is enough and if people are mad at you for that then that’s their problem and not yours. You don’t live to please them. You’re not their little toy, you’re not their puppet to control. 


You don’t owe your mental, emotional and physical health to anyone. If you can’t do something that you could do before because of your depression then that’s just fine. It’s not your fault, none of it is your fault.


Take deep breaths, listen to some soothing music, try doing some exercise if you can, try taking a walk, try getting that shower you need, try finishing that book you started reading, try finishing that poem or that sentence in a fan fiction you were writing or that novel you want to publish. Just try and take your time, take as long as you need.


The world wouldn’t be the same without you. Don’t let the world take you, help yourself and help others. Survive with us to see the end of another year. Help us fight for a better future a future worth living in. A future that is all our own, a future in which you and everyone can finally be happy, healthy and safe. 

Friend: are you okay?

Me: yeah

Me internally: It is Zachary Steven Merrick’s 29th birthday, he is the bassist of the band All Time Low and he is loved very much while also unappreciated at times but i love him no matter what he is a human puppy and he is very funny and hot especially with his nose ring and he is a blessing to the earth the band would not be the same without him wow i just really love Zack Merrick

More extended banter with my Ryder (Erika)

Jaal: So Liam, I’m still confused about the nonspecific erogenous zones.

Ryder: Yikes! 

Liam: *coughing* Um, maybe now’s not the time?

Jaal: Why not? I have no shame about my relationship with Ryder.

Liam: Yes, but we consider that private…like…Oh! Like how Angara never ever talk publicly about being sick like the other day.

Jaal: Liam, conversation over.

Ryder: Wait, wait, you were sick? THAT’S why you said you couldn’t come over? Are you okay? Do I need to take you back to the ship? Should I talk to Sahuna get some medicine or something to help?

Jaal: I’m fine, there is no need.

Liam: Ah, forgot to mention, sickness in humans usually breeds worry and lots of care taking.

Ryder: I can take you back to the Tempest if you need, Lexi’s been talking to some Angaran doctors -

Jaal: I. Am. Fine.

Ryder: You do look a little flushed. Liam, take the wheel. 

Liam: RYDER.

Ryder: *leans back and touches Jaal’s forehead* You feel feverish. 

Jaal: Perhaps it is because we are on a hot planet. Please, darling one, I’m fine…though your concern is…touching.

Ryder: *unconvinced* Oookay, but if you start to feel bad just let me know, you can even give me one of those shocks if it’s uncomfortable to say it aloud. I don’t want you overdoing it. 

Liam: Look, this is really touching and everything but can you please take the wheel back.

positive affirmations for a lonely monday night:

• your friends love and cherish you so much. no other friends can replace you/ be better than you in their eyes. think about how much you value each of your friends equally and apply that love to yourself

• it’s an amazing feat that your body woke up from sleep today, your mind kept you alive, and your heart made someone smile whether you know it or not. be thankful for that. the fact that you existed today is incredible.

• you’re allowed to be happy for no reason. you’re allowed to be sad and tired for no reason. you’re allowed to be afraid, excited, apathetic for weeks on end. accept these feelings wholeheartedly and attempt to understand them instead of pushing them away

“Love, look at me.” Loki murmured firmly, his hands cupping your face as he pressed his forehead to yours. His breath was intoxicating, so close to your face. “They will tell themselves whatever lies and slander they need to to be happy with themselves.”
“But it’s wrong!” You shot back.
“I have no care for what lies they tell themselves about me, you know the truth and that’s all that matters. So long as you are by my side, no falsity can hurt me, understood?”
You tried to nod but Loki’s grip held you firmly in place, “I just want to protect you from what they say about you.”
Loki laughed weakly, pulling away and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “People have made up stories about me for centuries, another new one will not affect me. And as I said before, you are by my side and know the truth, none of it matters. You are all that matters to me.”
Slowly you smiled, the last of your tears drying, “alright. I love you too.”