Say No to the “Strong Struggle”
I feel like when people say “struggling makes you stronger” to black women, it’s bullshit. You shouldn’t have to suffer to grow. Growth can be achieved without pain or poverty or hurt. It can be achieved without going through dysfunction or without basic things you need like familial love and friendship. It’s possible. I don’t know why people insist black women should shoulder needless pain and struggle to become ‘stronger’ when no one else has to. Or at least, no one else is constantly told to!!
Black women are allowed to go without being strong. They are allowed to be fragile and protected and sheltered. They can cry and hold grudges and be salty about the unfairness of other people and society. We DON’T need to be martyrs or Jesus with the stake in his hand, pillars of perfect suffering to show the resiliency of the human spirit. We are people, just like everyone else.
Let yourself cry, be mad, whatever. Sit in the hurt for once or you will never heal, like your mother and her mother. Stop painting over your pain with the tired, old excuse of “it will make you stronger”.
Maybe it will. But I was not born to suffer for some messed up idea of gaining strength! I can grow as a person without absorbing any and all pain.