It is as though we, as a society, have become addicted to fame, and hate the subject and substance of our addiction. We hate the famous for demanding our attention, even if they haven’t. We are angry that they made us drive a thousand miles to request an autograph, even when they didn’t. We are always growling, ‘How dare they treat us like that?’ even if they haven’t. And if any of this – the absurd attention itself, or the disdain it arouses within us – somehow that hurts or inconveniences the famous, what the hell? They have all the money and all the fame and they shine in the dark and feel good all the time, and they wanted this anyway.
I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts. Its easy to talk oneself into a decision that has no permanence – easier sometimes than to wait patiently.
a minority has its own kind of aggression. do you think it makes people nasty to be loved? you know it doesn’t! then why should it make them nice to be loathed? while you’re being prosecuted, you hate what’s happening to you, you hate the people who are making it happen; you’re in a world of hate.
I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.
Change is messy & unruly. Two steps forward/five somersaults back. Like speaking a foreign language when all you want is to blurt everything out in your native tongue. We’ll get to the other shore, I think, but this right here is a note from the middle, the messy middle. If you’re in the messy middle, too, you’re not alone.
“I am the ground zero ex-friend you ordered Disguised as a hero to get past your borders I know when I’m wanted, I’ll leave when you ask me to Mind my own business and speak when I’m spoken to I am the tower around which you orbited I am not proud, I am just taking orders I fall to the ground within hours of impact… …My place may be taken but make no mistake From a little black box I can say without shame That you’ve lost, that you’ve lost Do you know what you’ve lost?”