Siri

vine

I tried asking Siri that question…! #urbanlegend #howmanykidscanyouhave 〜 brianjesse

How many children can you have?

Only life forms are able to bear children. Currently - actually, you don’t even have a girlfriend so you can’t have kids either don’t be so cocky you -

Siri answering Pokémon go questions. Alternative answers from Siri:

  • “[Name]! Go!”
  • “PokéStop!”
  • “Oh, is that why everyone keeps asking what color a Geodude is?”
  • “I’ve been looking in the much for Muk.”
  • “Of course. That’s what it’s all about. Oh, wait, that’s the hoké Pokémon.”
  • “Just make sure to look both ways. And up and down, too.”
  • “I like pocket monsters. Pocket assistants, too.”

Source: thenextweb

There’s also the fact that all those hours of recording were spent speaking gibberish that was bland enough to be uninteresting, but unusual enough that you still had to pay close attention. “It was phrases like ‘militia oy hallucinate, bakra ocra ooze. Cathexis, sephetully, sexualese, stump.’ And then you’d be reading pages and pages of things like, 'Say the shrodding again. Say the shroading again. Say the shrouding again. Say the shriding again. Say the shredding again.’ So you can see, I’m glad to be done with it. I appreciate having done it, and I appreciate being the voice of Siri, but, you know, enough.”

It’s part of a process called concatenation, where vowels, consonants, syllables, diphthongs, and other aspects of speech are extracted and then reassembled by technicians to form whatever sentences they need. All of which is very fascinating but provides little comfort when you go home feeling like you’ve just recorded the audiobook for Dr. Seuss’ opium-induced fever dreams.

I Am Siri’s Voice: 4 Bizarre Realities