Since-You-Asked-so-Nicely

Innocence [M]

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Pairing: Jimin x Female Reader

Genre: Roommate AU!Smut, You have been warned; this fiction is full of smut.

Words Count : Almost 2,1k

Warnings : [M] for Mature Content, this fiction is pure smut.

Author’s Note: Hi guys admin Sunshine is here, so I’ve asked you guys about smut fiction ideas and then I mixed them up a bit, I hope y’all can enjoy this long sinful fiction


“S-i-x fucking months” You said out loud.

That was true actually. It’s been already six-months since you had sex, you were already horny and your roommate’s existence didn’t help at all. You were like a cat in heat, you wanted to have sex but you didn’t trust anyone about sex, they didn’t know your body—they were not good enough for you. You took a deep sigh, your roommate was at the next room and he was sleeping although it wasn’t that late. You were getting hornier and you couldn’t hold yourself any longer; you started to play with yourself. At first you thought this could be the only solution for your little-horny-problem but you forgot how thin the house’s walls were. 

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anonymous asked:

Ah! All right then. Usually I leave a few choices and let the artist choose what they'd like to draw. I hope you don't mind that. Uh- (1) something Egg Casserole related, (2) Something Alien!Edith related (3) Melvin trying to befriend (?) George and Harold. Go wild!

I decided to go with two of them together! ^U^

Captain would be cool with Edith since he’s an alien. 

Bonus Krupp reaction to Edith revealing she’s an alien…

anonymous asked:

I haven't seen any other skin conditions other than vitiligo for The Sims 4. Do you perhaps know anyone who would be interested in making other skin conditions for our sims? Such as psoriasis, etc? If you wouldn't mind posting this for possible cc creators to see, I would appreciate it! Thank you!

All hands on deck

request: Hey love, can I request StevexReaderxBucky? All early 20s. Reader works with law/business. She was close with Bucky or Steve(you choose) growing up/in high school. But they just lost touch. Reader meets Steve/Bucky for the first time & they live in the same building. Reader finds out either one/both Steve & Bucky are strippers. Maybe readers inexperienced but flirty (sleeps w/people she likes). Nat & Reader are sisters- they’re both gorgeous & close.

pairing: steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes

word count: 6017

warnings: smut, threesome, oral (male receiving), fingering, breath play, praise kink, stripping, small amounts of dry humping

a/n: 9 pages and five hours later! also changed a few aspects of the request so the fic worked well.

Originally posted by dailyteamcap

The moment you walked through the entrance of your apartment complex, you knew something was different despite not knowing what it was. You tried to push the feeling away as you made your way to the elevator smiling at your neighbours as you did, you may have been tired after a day of hard work but nothing stopped you from being polite to those around you.

As soon as the elevator doors opened with a ding you quickly scurried your back against the cool metal wall and your head leaning back as you let out a long sigh. You were beyond tired as well as beyond annoyed, your boss made you stay at work two hours later than usual and you were exhausted. All you wanted to do was go to your apartment and crawl into your bed and sleep until you woke up the next morning for work.

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Curvy Hips and Pretty Lips - Bucky

Curvy Hips and Pretty Lips Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 551

Warnings: smut. NSFW gif.

A/N: Let me know if you want to be tagged HERE or HERE. Here you go @sugardaddytonystark…the first of them :)

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Let Us Know (PolyHamilsquad x reader)

A/N: Hello, my lovely wonderfuls! Here is my first (of many) polyhamilsquad story! I just realized I never put what character I’m writing about in the title (whoops). I apologize, I know I appreciate that when other (more talented) writers do that, so I’ll try keep that up. Anyways, I had lots of fun writing this and I really hope you all enjoy it! As always thank you, thank you, thank you for reading! And I hope you all have a day as wonderful and lovely as you are! Oh! And the song used in this fic is Back At One By Brian McKnight :)

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You loved Sunday mornings. They were your favorite day of the week. Mostly because it was all your boys day off and you all got to sleep late. You loved waking up wrapped up with all your boys. It never failed to make you smile and fill you with joy.

This particular Sunday morning you were woken up by Johns soft lips pressing gentle kisses to your neck. You smile with your eyes still closed and run your fingers through his hair.

He looks up at you a smile gracing his sweet freckled face.

“Good morning lover girl, you’re looking beautiful as always,” he says nuzzling your neck and giving you more kisses.

You giggle and shake your head.

“I don’t think I look beautiful at all, but thank you,” you pull his face to yours and place a soft kiss of your own on his lips.

Lafayette starts stir beside you, “I want morning kisses too, ma petit colombe.”
You smile and turn to him.

“Well, Johnny here decided to steal his morning kisses from me.”

John nods pecking your cheek as you smile. Laf looks serious in thought, before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you towards him.

“I guess, I’ll have to steal mine too,” he says placing kisses all over your face.

“Gil,” you giggle.

He smiles down at you, and places a long, toe curling kiss on your lips. He pulls away when John clears his throat. Laf looks at John.

“You want on too, ma douce?”

John nods and Laf gives him kiss just like yours. They pull apart and you can see the love in their eyes and it makes your heart swell.

“Don’t mind me boys, I’m just going to move out of the way,” you say jokingly, trying to scoot out from between them. Before you can really get anywhere, Lafs hands are on your hips again, holding you still.

“Non, mon ange, we’re not done with you yet.”

You look from him to John and see their matching smirks and purse your lips.

“Are you sure you don’t want to wake up the other boys?” you ask, thinking the suggestion might distract them.

“We will, in just a few minutes,” Laf says as he starts kissing your neck and John kisses that ticklish spot on your ribs.

You start to squirm, trying to move. When you hear Alex begin to stir.

“Alex, honey, good morning. Look, boys Alex is awake,” you say and they both cease for a moment and chuckle.

“Are you bothering our dear (Y/N) already?”

“Non, mon amour, we’re stealing morning kisses,” Laf says while wiggling his eyebrows at Alex.

“Well, in that case,” and without warning Alex jumps over John and is on top of you within seconds.

“Alex,” you say in a warning tone.

“Yes, my love?” he asks a smirk at his lips as he leans over you.

“Don’t you think I should go make breakfast?”

“Of course, right after I steal my morning kisses,” and with that his lips are on yours.

He places a passionate kiss on your lips and then a gentle kiss, before moving down to your collar bone. Meanwhile, John and Laf had taken to kissing your hands and wrists. Leaving you no way of escape.

“Boys I think you’ve stolen more than enough,” you say breathlessly.

“Are you sure, mon ange?”

“I disagree baby girl.”

“Nope, not nearly enough, my love.”

You sigh, your only hope was Hercules. You start trying to tap him with your foot. You do so a few times and he starts to stir.

“Herc, my darling, would you mind helping me?”

He lifts his head to see your predicament and chuckles before sitting up.

“Alright, my loves, leave the cupcake alone.”

They all give a slight pout, as Herc helps you out of their hold, holding you to his chest. You smile up at him.

“Now, what’s going on?”

“We were stealing morning kisses,” John says wrapping his arms around Alex, while he reaches for Laf.

Herc laughs, “stealing morning kisses huh?”

He looks at you and you nod seriously. “Don’t you know you’re supposed to ask a lady for a kiss? Watch and learn.”

Herc turns his attention back to you and clears his throat.

“My darling, beautiful lady, may I have the pleasure of receiving a morning kiss?” You giggle before responding.

“Of course my darling,” you giggle, placing a hand to his cheek as you kiss him slowly and sweetly, silently thanking him for his rescue.

You both pull apart smiling, and look at the rest of your boys when you hear a throat clear. You see all three of them on one knee on the bed, with their right hands over their hearts and their left out towards you.

“My darling, beautiful lady, may I have the pleasure of receiving a morning kiss?” they all recite in together. You laugh and look at Herc, signaling him to let you down.

“Since you all asked so nicely,” you approach each of them giving them quick kisses on the lips barely slipping out of Alexander’s grasp.

They all give you pout, while you stand behind Herc.

“Darling, will you keep them distracted while I go make breakfast?

“Anything for you cupcake,” you kiss Hercs cheek and make your way to the kitchen. You hear a few sad groans before a burst of laughter from the bedroom.

You smile as you begin breakfast, this was really your favorite day. You loved spending time with your boys, and this was actually somewhat rare.

Your boys worked so hard, it was difficult to have this type of quality time all together. But, you usually had at least one of them around, so it didn’t bother you too much. You always reveled in these days though, these perfect blissful days.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Soon your favorite days were gone. At first it wasn’t that bad, but within a month it was like they all got twice as busy as before. Even your Sundays were no longer waking up late and spending the day together.

Now there was always one of them gone and you hated it, but you rationalized with yourself. It was their work, it was just because they had to work that was all.

Their usual attentiveness had dwindled. In the morning you woke up with your boys and made them breakfast, and lunches (they had a tendency to forget to eat). Instead of sweet, sometimes lingering kisses, you got a quick peck on the cheek or forehead as they made their way out the door.

Again, you told yourself that they were just consumed with work. They weren’t purposely putting you on the back burner. You reassured yourself daily, you knew they loved you. They had told you and shown you countless times. They loved you, they did.

Two months went by and it was still much of the same. You would tell yourself everyday, it’s just because of work. They had time consuming jobs.

Lafayette was a heart surgeon, Alex and John were lawyers, and Herc was a clothing designer. Laf was called into work at random times, of course you could understand how tired he was. Alex and John were both top lawyers at their firm, of course they want to stay there, you could understand their stress.

Herc was one of the best designers in New York, not to mention the country, and he had to travel to make sure things were done properly. Of course you understood, he made beautiful clothing, they were his own masterpieces, he wanted them done right.

All of this you understood and took into consideration. Everytime you got a peck instead of a kiss, a wave instead of an embrace, a quick ‘sure’ instead of an ‘of course, my love’. Everytime you got a brush off quickly because they had more important things to do.

You reminded yourself that they had hard jobs and that they worked hard. You didn’t need to take anything personally. But, it was getting harder and harder to do. You were a nurse at a pediatricians office and maybe your work wasn’t as hard as theirs, but you still made time for them.

You always made sure they ate during the day, sometimes forgetting to eat yourself. You always tried to make sure they got enough sleep, especially Alexander. You made sure they knew how much you loved them. Was it so bad to want that in return?

Your patience and understanding was starting to wear thin. You had had a really shitty day. The office had been busier than normal and full of sick children. Several of which had puked and or peed on you. There was constant screaming, and even some unfortunate hair pulling.

You had a pulsing headache, your feet were killing you, and you smelt unpleasant. All you wanted was a long shower, food, and sleep.

When you arrived home, you could see all of your boys were home. On your way into your home, you could hear Alex yelling at someone over the phone. John seemed to be looking over some files and Laf and Herc seemed to be talking in the kitchen.

You stood their for a few minutes waiting for a ‘welcome home’ or some type of acknowledgement. Much to your dismay there came none. You made your way to the bedroom, but before you were all the way there, Laf finally noticed you were home.

“There she is! We’ve been waiting for you,” he says smiling. “We’re going out in celebration of our Hercules being home. Go get ready so we can go.”

The thought of going out right now made you want cringe. You were so tired, physically and emotionally. You felt almost empty with all you’ve given these past months.

“I’m sorry boys, I just don’t feel up to it, but you guys go and have fun.”

They all look disappointed, including Alex, who had finally gotten off the phone.

“Come on (Y/N), it’ll be fun. Just get ready real quick,” Alex says looking at you like you were being slightly ridiculous.

“Please, we haven’t spent quality time together in a while, go get ready and we’ll wait,” John says in a sweet tone that makes you want to cry and yell at the same time. Where have you been??

“No, boys really I’m sorry, I’ve had a long day and just want to shower and go to sleep.”

“How about you shower and then we can go, I know you’ve had a long day, but don’t you want to spend time with us,” Alex tells you somewhat accusingly. The other boys looking at you for an answer.

And it’s the final straw, you had been patient, and sweet and understanding for two months. And now they were turning this on you? As if you’re the one neglecting them, as if you hadn’t waited up for them and then woken up with them to make sure they got to work and home okay. As if you hadn’t been taking the bare minimum of affection from them for two months!

“You know what, I know we haven’t spent time together. You want to know how I know? For the past two months, I’ve made sure all of you were okay, and eating, and cared about, whether you were here or at work or traveling.” You look at all them pointedly, trying to keep your tears at bay.

“I have waited up and gotten up for all of you everyday, made sure you had everything you needed,” you close your eyes and take a breath. “You know what I’ve gotten these past two months?” you look at each of them, they all look somewhat shocked at your outburst. “I’ve gotten quick pecks and half assed acknowledgments.”

“I know you all work hard and you’re all amazing at what you do. Usually you do make time for me and I appreciate the time I do get, but these past two months,” you take a breath as the tears starts to spill over your cheeks. “It’s just, it would be nice not to feel so empty once in awhile. I love you all so much but lately I feel like I’m just giving, and giving, and giving, and I’m left with nothing! I’ve tried to be understanding and patient, but I can’t do it anymore. And you know what I shouldn’t have to!”

They all stare at you guilt and sorrow on their faces, they look so distraught. And you feel instantly guilty.

“Baby girl…”

“My love…”

“Mon ange..”

“Cupcake…”

They have tears brimming in their eyes and you hate that you caused it. No matter how upset you were with them, you didn’t want them to hurt.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’s not your fault. I know it’s not, you’re all so good at what you do and I know you love your work. I’m just tired, that’s all.” They start to approach you, but you step back. “I’m fine, I promise. I’m just gonna go for a drive for a bit. You guys go out and have a nice dinner, okay?” You turn and walk out the door without waiting for a reply.

The boys try to stop you, but by the time they get to the door, you’re already gone. They go back inside and decide to wait for your return.

After two hours had passed they grew worried.

“She’ll come back, right?” John asks his other lovers.

“Of course she will, she loves us remember,” Herc tells him hugging him to his chest. Although the same fear was growing in the pit of his stomach

Alex looks less sure as he paces, hoping that you’re not crying on the road and his heart aching to be near you.

Lafayette is sitting on the couch, his knee bouncing, thinking of all the places you might go. And it hits him, the Schuylers! They were your best friends.

“I’m going to call Angelica and see if she’s heard from her,” the other boys nod their heads frantically.

“Angie, please tell me mon ange is with you….”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You drove around for thirty minutes before stopping at the Schuylers. You hated coming over unannounced, but you weren’t ready to go home and you were so tired.

You knocked on the door and tried to make yourself look presentable.

Peggy opened the door, took one look at you, pulled you in and called her sisters.
Eliza and Angelica came into the living room and immediately embraced you.

“(Y/N), what happened?” Angelica asks, brushing hair out of your face.

You try to hold back your tears, but they break free and fall down your cheeks. Eliza hugs you close and lets you cry on her shoulder until you’ve calmed.

After a few minutes, Peggy hands you some tissues and you thank her. You take a few deep breaths and tell them all what happened. How the past two months that the boys were so busy and you felt so lonely, how you tried to power through it, and how when you finally had all of them together you had an outburst that just ended up making everyone feel bad, including yourself.

“Okay, while we can all understand that they have time consuming jobs, that doesn’t mean they stop making time for you.”

“But Angie”-

“No, she’s right (Y/N). You shouldn’t feel any remorse about the way you feel in your heart. That’s not something you can control,” Eliza tells you holding your gaze.

Peggy nods in agreement before adding on.

“And you shouldn’t keep all of your emotions bottled up, if they’re doing something that hurts your feelings or makes you angry you need to say so.”

You nod knowing all of them are right, but the guilt still doesn’t dissipate.

“I need to get back home and talk to them,” you say getting up, but Angelica pulls you back down.

“You definitely need to talk to them, but it can wait until tomorrow.”

When you try protest both Eliza and Peggy shake their heads at you.

“You’re tired and emotionally drained, you need some time to refresh yourself.”

“And it’s okay to let them sweat a little bit, you do a lot for them,” Peggy says giving you a wink.

You laugh and shake your head.

“I need to tell them where I am, I don’t want them to freak out.”

“We’ll take care of it,” Angie says taking your phone from you. You knew better than to argue with her.

“Please be nice, I know I was upset, but I didn’t speak up either and they never meant to hurt me,” you look at her with pleading eyes, while she sighs and rolls her eyes at you.

“I guess, Eliza can call them then.”

The four of break out in laughter, once you all settle they send you to shower and told you to get some sleep.

Just as you leave, Angelica’s phone starts ringing and she sees it’s Lafayette. Right on time, she thinks.

“Angie, please tell me mon ange is with you..”

“Yes, she’s here and she’s spending the night, so don’t expect her home.”

She can hear the rest of the boys in the background, with relieved murmurs. She puts the phone on speaker, so her sisters can hear.

“Non, we can come get her.”

“You will do no such thing Laf. She needs some space, she is completely physically and emotionally drained.”

The boys pause at Eliza’s stern tone, but start up again.

“We need to talk to her, and comfort her, so she knows we love her,” John says his voice pleading.

“You can tell her all that tomorrow,” Peggy says.

The boys know that they won’t get past the Schuylers so they concede.

“Can you at least tell her that we love her and we’re sorry,” Alexander asks, sounding a little exasperated.

“We’ll relay the ‘we love you’, but you can all apologize yourselves tomorrow,” Angelica states.

“Try and get some sleep boys,” Eliza says in a more sympathetic tone this time.

Before they hang up, they hear a scoff and then, ‘yeah, like that’s gonna happen.’ They giggle and make their way to bed themselves.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next day, the boys are knocking at the Schuylers door, bright and early. More accurately, Alex is knocking incessantly while the others are asking him to pause for a second.

Minutes later, the door swings open to reveal a very irritated Angelica.

“It’s eight in the morning on a Saturday,” she nearly growls while glaring at them.

“I brought some croissants, for you all, mon ami,” Laf offers with a pleading smile.

She just raises an eyebrow, before opening the door wider and standing aside so they could enter.

“I’ll wake the angel, you wait here,” she says walking away.

They all wait in the living room, Alexander is cracking his knuckles, Johns leg is bouncing, Lafayette has his hands resting on his thighs and tapping his fingers on them, and Herc has his elbows resting on his knees with his hands clasped in front of him sitting completely still.

As soon as you entered the room they all stood and resisted the urge to run to you. John just couldn’t help himself.

Before you can say a word he rushes to you and wraps his arms around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“We’re sorry, we’re so sorry please don’t be upset anymore, we love you. Please don’t leave us.”

As the initial shock wears off you realize what John just said and look at the boys wide eyed. They all look away, and your heart aches.

You embrace John and step back a bit so you can look him in the eyes.

“I’m not leaving you guys, I love you,” your eyes meet each of the boys. “I may have been upset, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to quit on our relationship, you’re all my everything.”

The rest of the boys, rush to you and John. You’re completely surrounded by them, and you exhale a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You finally felt at peace, the boys were your home.

“We’re so sorry, cupcake.”

“Oui, we don’t deserve you mon ange.”

“You’re our everything, love, we all need you more than you realize. You could probably do without us, but we cannot do without you.”

You look at each of them, tears springing to your eyes and your heart swelling. John turns you to face him and brushes a tear from your cheek.

“It’s true baby girl, and we came up with a little something to prove it.”

You look at him confused.

“A little something?”

You look to the other boys, and they all just smile at you. Herc takes your hand and leads you to the couch.

“We’re going to need you to sit here, cupcake,” he winks at you.

Your confusion only grows as they all line up in front of you.

“You got the disc, babe,” Herc says to John, who happily nods and places a cd in the stereo.

We’re they going to perform for you? And they all got into the same pose. They all stand their hands clasped together in front of them and their heads down.

It’s undeniable that we should be together, it’s unbelievable that used to say that I’d fall never…

Herc was the first to step forward lip-syncing the song and then followed John, Laf, and Alex.

The basis is need to know, if you don’t know just how I feel

Then let me show you now that I’m for real

If all things in time, time will reveal
Yeah

As one said a line the others danced behind him. Until they got to the chorus, which they all did together, acting out nearly every word.

One, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That your the only one for me

Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I start Back at One
Yeah (yeah)

You couldn’t help but smile at your boys, they were so ridiculously sweet, it made your heart soar.

It’s so incredible the way things work themselves out

And all emotional, once you know what it’s all about babe

And undesirable for us to be apart
Never would of made it very far

Cause you know that you’ve got the keys to my heart

Peggy, Angie, and Eliza had come to the living room because they heard music and held back their giggles at the boys sweet gesture.

Cause,
One, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That your the only one for me

Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I start Back at One

As you watched them, you couldn’t help but think how lucky you were to have your own personal boy band. You loved them all so much.

Say farewell to the dark of night I see the coming of the sun

I feel like a little child
Whose life has just begun

You came and breathed new life
Into this lonely heart of mine

You threw out the life line just in the Nick of Time

As the song continued, the more dramatic they got and you couldn’t contain your giggles. And seeing your face lit up with joy made the boys hearts race.

One, you’re like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it’s plain to see
That your the only one for me

Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I start Back at One

When they finished the last line, you jumped up and clapped, while the girls followed suit. They bowed and you went to them, giving each of them a kiss.

“So, you liked it?” Alex asked nervously.

“Are you kidding, I loved it! If I hadn’t already forgiven all of you, that would have convinced me,” you said smiling big at them.

“Can we go home now, cupcake?” Herc asks his arms around your waist and his forehead against yours.

“Of course,” you say smiling and kiss nose.

“Bien, because we didn’t get a lot of sleep, and we missed you last night,” Laf says nuzzling your neck behind you, making you giggle.

“I call sitting with (Y/N) in the back,” Alex says while pulling you into his arms, and resting his head on yours, as you rest yours on his chest.

“Oh! Me too!” John exclaims wrapping his arms around you and Alex from behind you.

“I guess that means we get to cuddle with our darling girl when we get home then,” Herc says to Laf.

Both Alex and John gasp, and you giggle.

“Okay, boys you can take turns, let’s go home.” You gather your things and say goodbye and Thank you to the sisters, before heading out with your boys.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When you all arrived home and made your way to the bedroom, Lafayette stopped you.

“What is it Gil?”

“Mon ange, before we take our nap, I just want you to know that if you ever feel that way again, you can tell us.”

“Yeah, baby girl, we hated seeing you so upset.”

“Darling, we love you and you come before our work, always.”

“Love, if we ever fail to give you what you need, please, let us know.”

You look at each of them and nod.

“I promise, I will from now on. I’m sorry for not saying anything.”

Alex shakes his head at you.

“You don’t need to apologize my love.”
They all ask for a ‘good nap kiss’ and you giggle and give them each a sweet kiss, before you all settle into bed. You’re cuddled between Herc and Laf, as your eyes drift closed.

And an hour later the boys switch, Alex claiming he sleeps better next to you, while Laf and Herc roll their eyes, but comply to his request.

And this time as you drifted off to sleep, you couldn’t help the warmth that spread in your heart, finally feeling complete.

The next week’s that passed by were filled with long lingering kisses, nearly constant cuddles, and ‘I love you’s. Your boys making sure that you felt completely loved and taken care of. And although this all made you feel immense joy, your favorite part was that you got your blissful Sundays back.

undead0relived  asked:

more pta sans please, its to die for, thank you and have a nice day~

Well, since you asked so nicely…
~~~

Sans: *sits there, tears rolling down his skull*

Toriel: Sans… Sans please. You don’t have to do this.

Sans: no…. I have to. It has to be done. *looks up to the ceiling* dad…? i love you. more than anything…. and i’d hate to do this but… *begins to cry* there’s just no other option!

*the rest of the PTA watch from a distance, not believing their eyes*

Sans: *tears a hole into time and space to access the Void* i’m sorry dad! i’m so sorry! *throw’s Helen’s lemon squares into the Void*

Gaster: *recoils in horror* Son! How could you do this to me! I thought you loved me!

Sans: father! i do! i still do, but the universe just can’t take it!

Gaster: NOOOOOO! *slowly begins to melt away into nothingness*

Sans: *sobbing hard*

Helen: OKAY OKAY WE GET IT YOU DON’T LIKE MY LEMON SQUARES JESUS CHRIST!

~~~

Linda: *notices that Sans is strangely absent from the PTA meeting and that it’s just Toriel* *sighs in relief*

Toriel: *smiles politely* So, where shall we start?

Linda: Well, I was thinking, for the upcoming sports season, we should separate the boys and the girls, as well as separating the monsters and humans.

Toriel: But that is so costly, as well as unnecessary.

Linda: Well it will have to do, Toriel. We can’t go around forcefully mixing these two races! It’s just not fair to the humans.

Toriel: Now Sans and I think that-

Linda: Sans isn’t here right now, so it doesn’t matter what he thinks! He’s the idiot who doesn’t believe in mandatory gluten free lunches! And thank god he decided to miss out on-

Toriel: Ah ah, not so fast. *pulls Sans out of her inventory*

Sans: heard you were talkin’ shit, bitch.

Linda: OH MY WORD-

Sans: fuck your word, your gluten free lunches, your racism, and you.

~~~

Helen: So yes, I do think vaccinations should not be mandatory.

Sans: well, come on. we have to keep our kids safe. vaccinations will prevent disease.

Helen: *pinches the bridge of her nose* Sans, you wouldn’t understand. You don’t have a child.

Sans: whoa whoa- excuse me?!

Helen: Frisk is human. You’re a monster. And besides, you don’t even have a position here. You’re just filling in for Toriel, who is a teacher

Sans: *opens his mouth*

Helen: If she wasn’t a teacher, we wouldn’t even have her at these meetings. I don’t see why we still continue to let her, though. She’s the only monster in this school, filling our children’s heads with nonsense. She needs to be fired.

Sans: *clamps his mouth shut, just gritting his teeth*

Helen: Anyways, back to what I was saying-

*1 week later*

Fiona: *head of the PTA* And I am sad to announce I will be retiring from my position as head if the PTA. However, we have been able to fill in positions that had been previously absent! Monsters, as well!

Helen:….. What?

Fiona: Allow me to introduce Undyne, the Athletics coach for both boys AND girls!

Undyne: *bursts in* Hell yeah! With me on board, we’re gonna win EVERY game!

Fiona: Mettaton as the drama teacher.

Mettaton: *comes in, posing* Truly there is no finer choice!

Fiona: Alphys, our new nurse!

Alphys: *politely sitting in a chair* H-hi…

Fiona: Gaster, our new physics teacher.

Gaster: *appears* My son built a machine to drag me out of the void just for this. Oho, I’m gonna vaccinate soooo many of your children.

Fiona: And Papyrus, our head booster mom.

Papyrus: I can’t wait to start our first fundraiser! We will sell ALL the cookie dough!

Helen: *gawks* *turns to Sans* You enlisted your entire family?!

Sans: *only chuckles*

Helen: Toriel put you up to this, didn’t she? I will speak to the head of the PTA about this!

Sans: *his chuckles turn into a low and deep laugh, before transforming into a horrifying cackle, slowly growing louder and louder as he laughed evilly* *the lights go out, his sockets go dark, vast pits and a maniacal grin is spread across is skull* *his next words are spoken in a empty, haunting tone* Toriel IS head of the PTA.

Have a nice day~
Sexy times in the bathroom.

Hello, Love bugs! 

Dan x Reader

Warnings - Smut. 

I asked you guys if a fic about yourself and Dan attempting to have sex in the shower but it turns out to be a fail would be something you would want to read. It was an overwelling yes so you know. I wrote it. Enjoy!

“I’m going to jump into the shower!” You had yelled to Dan to make sure he knew you hadn’t been kidnapped or anything. You didn’t hear a response but that could just be from his lack of response. You pulled your head back into the room as you unwrapped the towel from your body. The water had been running for a little bit so it was the perfect temperature. You normally would go head first and let the water wash completely over your head down to your toes. It was freezing in London and the fresh soft snow that flew through the sky didn’t help your temperature. Just as you were about to put the shampoo in your hair you heard a knock at the door.

“Who is it? Also, what’s the password?” You couldn’t help but ask in a sing-song voice.

“It’s me. Danisnotonfire. The password is probably something about branding. Can I come in? ” you laughed a little before telling him that he could come in. It was always weird for Dan to see you in the shower. It’s not like he hadn’t seen you naked before. Dan had in fact been one of the few people who had seen you in such a way. It just seemed to be a place for you to think and let go. You turned to see Dan standing near the shower eyeing you up.

“First I think you missed the memo that we changed the password to. Hello. My name is, Dan.” You raised your brows in a teasing I got you. This made Dan roll his eyes. “Second do you like what you see?” You were never one to be so blunt but you were in a teasing mood and wanted to see where this was going. Dan nodded as you smiled at him. “Well come on in the waters great!” Dan quickly got undressed as his clothes joined the little pile on the floor with yours. You decided to rinse your hair quickly as you didn’t really want soap in your eyes or kisses.

“Do you remember the last time I was in the shower with you? Because I distinctly remember that someone is a water hog.” You could only open your eyes a little so the last of the soap wouldn’t try and attack your pupils but you were determined to give your best girlfriend you’re in trouble eyes.

“I was a water hog because I was attempting to shower before work and Someone was being a pain in the ass.” You flipped your hair out of your face before being pulled close to Dan for a kiss. “What made you want to come and join me in the shower?” You could feel the smile on Dan’s lips as he went in for another peck.

“Well to be honest he decided more than I did.” Dan was looking down then looking back up to you hoping you got the message. Sedulity was never his best.

“I see. So you figured you would invite yourself in and join the shower party?” Dan had somehow flipped the both of you so he was now standing in the warm water and you were the one with the cold bum. “How do you do that?” Dan, of course, pulled his best-shocked face to try and convince you he had no idea of what you could possibly be talking about.

“Whatever do you mean pet?” Dan started to place little kisses all over your face to try and distract you. It wasn’t working.

“How do you so smoothly make it so I am in the cold while you have all of the warm water?”

“Well If I was knowingly doing it I would tell you. But since I don’t know what you’re talking about I am going with the answer that you moved me into the warmth because you figured I was cold. In that case you’re the best girlfriend.” Dan spun the two of your bodies so the water was now over the both of your fronts.

“Are we going to fuck in the shower? Because if we are I want to put in my conditioner now so it can sit in my hair for the quick five.”

“Quick five?” Dan says with almost a growl. “I would like to think I could make you cum even faster my love.” This made you giggle as his lips started to attack along your jaw and down your neck. You reached down to find Dan’s already hardened cock. Just as you started to stroke his member you paused quickly pulling away from him.”Do not tell me you’re really going to put conditioner in.” You couldn’t help the large smile on your face as you reached around dan to grab the bottle.

“Hey fucking you is near the top of my list. If we’re being honest with each other then I really want to take this opportunity to deep condition.” You placed a quick kiss to Dan’s pouty lip. Before quickly running the coconut smelling cream into your hair. Taking a pony tail from your wrist you quickly pulled the hair from your face into a little bun.

“I love when you pull your hair away from your face.” Dan was waiting pretty patiently as you continued to do your normal shower things as if he wasn’t standing in front of you with a hard cock.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you that patience is a virtue? I am now ready for the both of us to ravage each other’s bodies. If you would still want to.” The both of you couldn’t hide your smirks before carrying on from where you left off. This wasn’t the first time things got heated in the shower between the two of you. Usually, things continued back in Dan’s room as the shower isn’t the easiest place to fool around. You guys would be damned if you weren’t apparently going to try again this time.

“Hey I know you’re new here but at fight club one of the biggest rules is we don’t talk about our mothers during this time.” You gave Dan a quick shove before locking your lips with his in a mini battle for dominance. It didn’t take Dan long to win this little battle mostly because you let him. Just as you we’re becoming very consumed by kissing you down you let out a little gasp when you felt Dan’s hand find it’s way down to your clit. “Something wrong love?” Dan made you blush slightly from not only his sudden movements on your clit but also from still being a bit embarrassed at how much his touch or even presence affects you.

“If you’re trying to impress me with your masterful sex skills then I suppose I should tell you that it is working.” Just as you thought you had regained your composure you felt one of Dan’s long fingers slide into you. This, of course, made you release a little squeal from the surprise. You felt Dan’s other hand reach for your leg to help you rest it on the ledge to give him a better angle to play with you.

“Not so lippy now? Are we princess.” You couldn’t help but lean into Dan more as he inserted another finger into you as him thumb pressed into your clit with small slow circles. You we’re letting little whimpers out as he started to kiss your forehead being carful not to get any of the crap in your hair in his mouth.

“Please, Dan. If you don’t stop soon I’m not going to make it and I really want you to fuck me.” You we’re almost breathless as you begged for him. Who was Dan to deny a beautiful girl her deepest wishes.

“Only since you asked so nicely. Here can you put your leg a little more this way?” You couldn’t help but whine a little as Dan removed his fingers as he tried to move your leg in the direction he wanted it in.

“Can you turn the water up a little. It’s getting kinda cold.” Dan nodded as he reached around you, stretching to turn the tap a little more to the warm. The both of you waited a few seconds as the water started to reheat. Just when you both thought it was better it quickly became scolding hot. That’s what you get for trying to do this in the shower with the touchiest taps ever. Dan once again reached around you trying not to move you from your position as he dialled the water back to colder.

“I’m making a decision that this is the water temperature we are going to deal with.” You smiled and kissed him quick as you felt the coolish water splash your shoulders.

“Ready love?” You nodded silently as you prepared for Dan’s cock to fill you up. Dan skillfully filled you sending little shivers through your body. If you we’re being honest however the shivers were half him and half the cold water. “Hold on love. Something’s not quite right.” Dan tried to move your leg on the ledge for you again as you stood on your other leg like a flamingo. Just as Dan found a comfortable position and started to make little thrusts you felt the tell tale signs of a cramp in your calf. You tried to push the pain aside and focus on the amazing feeling of Dan now thrusting faster than before. You, however, couldn’t hold on anymore and had to try something different.

“Baby I need to move. My leg is cramping up.” Dan pulled out of you so the both of you could try something new.

“What about you bend over and I take you from behind so I can look at your ass.”

“Good idea.” You bent over before remembering that your head would be in the water and you still had product in it. “No, you on this side. I can’t be in the water.” Dan sighed as he rolled his eyes before shuffling past you to move to the other side.

“Fuck why didn’t you tell me this water is icicles.” Dan was now closer to the water to try and make it a bit better. You couldn’t help but take the opportunity to stretch a little. Dan saw this as he turned to tell you the water was better before laughing.” Getting ready for me?” You smiled as you turned to look at him and push his curly hair out of his face. Your fingers felt gross like raisins against his soft unwrinkled face. You made a face of disgust as you finished moving Dan’s hair.” You that exited to fuck?”

“I really do want to fuck you it’s just my gross fingers. I hate when you get all pruney in the shower.” Dan smiled as he pulled you into a hug.

‘I also hate it. Shall we?” Dan kissed the pads of your fingers before you turned around to face the opposite way. You bent over before feeling Dan tease your entrance with the tip of his cock. Just as Dan started to push further you attempted to put your hand on the wall for support before slipping a bit. “Are you fine love?” You nodded as he continued to start to thrust in and out. You could tell he was just finding a rhythm but you still couldn’t help it. This was not working.

“Dan?” He stopped as he knew that tone of voice.

“Not good?” You agreed before turning around to face him.

“Last idea. I lean against the wall and put my foot in the soap dish?” You know maybe we just aren’t meant to be shower sex people?” Dan looked offended like you just told him there was no more Yuri On Ice.

“Y/N how are we supposed to be parents one day and sneak sex in whenever possible because little Timmy is knocking on the door?” You smiled as you leaned into another kiss. It started out sweet but quickly the both of you we’ve filled again with lust and desire. Thankfully the both of your bodies reacted to each other. You both got in the new position where your foot was raised a lot more than the last time. You we’re standing near the curve in the tub as you felt that you were precariously perched. You, however, we’re not a quitter. Dan had you place both of your hands on his shoulders for support. One more for the old college try. The both of you worked together to line up and let the both of you find a somewhat comfortable position. Everything was going very well until you become a little too lost in the feeling as your foot slipped away from under you. Thankfully, Dan, had his arms stretched on the walls behind you as he was able to support you before pulling out.

“Oh fuck please tell me you are okay?” Dan was attempting to suppress his giggles as he helped you up from your little slip.

‘I’m fine. Really.” You couldn’t help but start to laugh at the whole situation. You only wished you could see the two of you bent over in the shower. Dan with his wet curly hair all over the place. You with your falling out bun leaning against the wall trying not to slip again.

“Look at us. We are so not sex in the shower people.So how about I wash this crap out of my hair and we try again in a non-slippery place. I’m thinking your bed.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me. I was really sick of feeling like a raisin.”