Side-Effects-Of-You

Hey uh anyone who has been on medication (any medication but specifically anything to manage anxiety and/or depression), if you’re comfortable could you PM me about what it was like starting it? like did you get super bad side effects or anything? how were you feeling mentally and emotionally? I know everyone reacts differently but idk

Nothing has ever made me sadder then Sarah Urie getting hate

The face you make when you wake up in Jamaica!!! #SideEffectsOfJamaica

See you at Emancipation Park tonight for Blues on the Green!

WOAH!!! THE GREASERTALE PDF IS OUT!!!

A 228 pages long comic about Undertale, with an angry Frisk who fights monsters, and an amnesiac Chara who smiles way too much. They both manage a pacifist run but not without some CRAZY ADVENTURES

get it for free on GUMROAD and ITCH.IO !!!

WHEN YOU FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF: THE SIDE EFFECTS OF HAVING A GENEROUS HEART 

You cut off your hands and say,
Here, this is for you.
I am giving you everything I have.
You cut off your hands
and they don’t thank you.
Instead they ask for
your ribs,
your gut
and all her feelings.
And you’re about to ask,
What about me?
What will be left of me?
But you don’t because they
tell you this is love.

So you give it all to them.
And what’s left for you?
I’m too afraid to say Nothing.
Instead I will make a list of everything you still have:
your skin and all the blood you carry,
your lungs,
your spine,
your tongue.

Draw a line.
When they ask for your heart,
curl your tongue into a No.
When they ask for your heart,
crack your spine back into place.
When they ask for your heart,
add smoke to the fire with only your breath.

Take back what’s yours. This is
holding yourself in your own arms. 
This is giving yourself back 
everything you gave away. 
This is the journey home.
This is learning that love
with other people
is a two-way street.

A.Y.

How is The Frogman?

I’m not terrible!

I’m also not great. But not terrible is something I haven’t been in a while. 

You see I started seeing a psychiatrist again. My depression had been crushing me pretty bad. I would get super low and it was not fun. I had already been on antidepressants. I’ve been on them for over a decade. But they weren’t doing the trick anymore and I decided I needed some help. 

In comes the doctor. It turns out there is this new thing that tests your genes and can tell you which antidepressants will work best for you. It’s pretty amazing. So I Q-tip’d the inside of my cheek, sent in an envelope, and a week later the results were in. There were three columns. Red was bad. These are pills you should never take due to nasty side effects. Yellow is meh. You can take these pills, but nothing will probably happen. And then there is green. The green column is filled with medications that are most likely to work with your genes. It’s not a guarantee, but it cuts down on the trial and error quite a bit. 

There ended up being 8 medications in the green column and so we started at the top of the list with Wellbutrin. It’s been several weeks and I can tell a difference. Not a huge, world changing difference, but a small step in a positive direction. Encouraged by this, my doctor decided to double my dosage and hit this depression with all he had. In 4 weeks or so, we’ll know if this is the medication for me. I feel like I’m not so weighed down anymore. I feel like this might help me. 

So I’m not terrible. It’s not much, but right now I’ll take it. 

In other news, I’ve been working hard at my photography business. I have 2 gigs coming up soon. I’m also going to try a bit of advertising on facebook. Things are very tight right now, but I’m hopeful they will pick up soon. Here are some photos I’ve taken recently. 

I feel like I finally get what I’m doing. If you are in the St. Louis area and need photography, OR if you make a product and need pictures of it, please contact me through my website. frogmanphotography.com

One other thing I’d like to mention is that I have been working on an Amazon wishlist. It has things from socks and nasal spray to gadgets and doodads for my photography business. I tried to put some low cost things on there that I really need and some higher priced stuff that I will probably just save up and get myself eventually. 

And, of course, there is Otis. He’s doing very well. Since I have been feeling a little better I promise to try and take a few more pictures of him. He just got a squeaky fuzzy duck and he is super happy about it. 

And lastly, I want to reach out to those who feel like they may have depression. I want you to go and get help if you need it. If you are struggling with medicaiton, maybe even try the test I took. More info at GeneSight. Just know that I’m in the boat with you and we gotta row together. Don’t give up. Keep going and see where this leads. 

If you want to keep tabs on me and my depression journey, follow my personal blog. And if you have questions about depression or this gene test or you just want to tell me your story, feel free to send me an ask over there. I can’t get to every message, but I will do my best.  

I feel like people who don’t have ADD don’t realise how much it fucks us over in literally every aspect of our lives?

Like the fact that I can’t concentrate in lecture or zone out during work is the least of my worries, I’m more worried about how I zone out while driving or networking or while working a service job

Im worried about how I find simple repetitive tasks like photocopying on par with torture, because that basically negates my ability to stand out or excel in an entry level job or internship, even though I know I’ll more than succeed in a job higher up the chain

I’m worried about how hard it is to balance work and school, because the side effects of ADD medication basically mean you’re studying during the day or pulling an all nighter (then risking falling asleep or making sleep deprived mistakes at work). We can’t just sit down and study in between work and class, or finish a quick assignment after our late shift unless we want to be up all night.

I’m worried about how my sensory overload makes being in certain environments impossible and how this is something that even the most empathetic neurotypical person will think I’m exaggerating or making up

I’m worried about how my impaired executive function/absent mindedness will make me seem lazy and incompetent to others, when in reality I work so hard and literally don’t realise the every day things I’m fuckjng up