Sick Of Being Alone

in all honesty

i’m completely SICK of being alone. 

I just want to love someone.

And I just want someone to love me.

To cuddle, hold hands, go on dates, kiss, look at stars. 

Just BE together.

I honestly think if I had someone by my side I would be much happier.

Dear ‘Prince Charming’ as people call it, come find me soon, i’ve been looking for you and just can’t seem to find you.

tagged by heartonmysleeve7 & theseattlefour for the “20 beautiful people” thing. ilyyyy ♥♥♥

tagging xshamansbluesx burning-the-priest jiiizinmypants babyofthenineties jaymzcatfield davey-boy-mustaine fear-me-cause-i-am-death davecurlstaine possessed-by-janick kirkhammettz piertheveil he-as-hollow-as-i-alone we-are-the-sickness meow-tallica h-a-n-g-a-r-18 sweetamber we-wash-away-with-the-rain the-one-who-listens-to-punkrock enter-random-username-here the-lemon-yellow–sun-is-in-tune

Personal [dating]

It’s been officially a year since I left my ex. 

I gave myself time to get over him and I am 100% over that asshole.

I’ve dated and not one guy as made me feel 100% happy. I wont use their names just the first letter of them to explain why…

E- was the first one that I was starting to see after it all. He was sweet, metal head and cuddlish. Everything was going good till he made me feel so uncomfortable than I didn’t want to talk to him…He started to become very touchy even if I hinted that I didn’t want to be touched. He also started to be gross about somethings…which made me VERY COMFORTABLE. So I pushed him away.. he blocked me on facebook and I moved on.

V- We hit it off very quickly. He loved metal, sweetheart and treated me well…all until he triggered my depression and anxiety. He friend zone me because of it. Which was total bullshit and hurt me even more to the point where I didn’t want anything to do with him. Because if a man can’t seem to handle a mental illnesses I have they are not worth having in my life. Oh and he thought when I told him he was “part” of the cure to make me happy…He thought I told him He IS the cure…When I said Part. meaning he was making me happy and I wanted a future with him. 

M- Now I had hopes for him…But sadly we don’t click even though we have a few things in common. He’s a sweetheart and helped me out when V didn’t. We talk still but I can only see us as friends….He’s amazingly talented and very handsome but yeah

J- oh gosh his he “perfect” Loves metal, watches anime, into kinky things. We’ve been texting still but once I met him in person…It was a different story. It was like the made thing he wanted was sex and that was it. We did watch anime and play video games. But I felt so used already. I still talk to him but he’s another I can’t seem to click with. Plus when I was over he was always on his phone….so I didn’t feel that important to him…why waste my time you know…

So with these 4 guys…I had things in common with but it just seems I can’t find one guy…that is truly interested in me and my flaws. I always give it my all guys…but I feel like I should stop. I’m not having any luck….And I’m kinda jealous of me best friend because she was single for only a few months and she already is in a happy relationship with someone….Even if she forgets I’m alive.

I’m starting to think I’m cursed or maybe that it’s just no one wants me. I have to say that my life without love is meaningless…I’m a very loyal, loving and caring person…but I get used, abused and friend zone….because of my depression and anxiety. I’m tired of feeling so unwanted…I’ve been working on myself but holy shit and I really that horrible…