Sick Of Being Alone

it always pisses me off when ppl say i’m a cold hearted bitch when i say i don’t want kids like chill out ?!?! idk how to hold them or deal with them and i got 0 patience and i’m probs gon be broke and unstable my whole life and my plans dont include kids and i just dont know how to be sensitive around them or find the right words i just dont kno what to do with kids and they annoy me but that doesn’t mean i will be mean to them or do anything to harm them ?!!? isn’t it better to just not have kids than to be an awful parent like what the heck 

AIME

Murdie Nampijinpa Morris is from the Tanami Desert of Central Australia. She was born in the 1930s at Rabbit Flat, a tiny settlement in the middle of the harsh Tanami Desert. 30 years ago she moved to Yuendumu, to care for the elderly. When asked what she did there, she says “helping them when they are sick, and being with them when they are alone or when they are frighten during storms”.

Murdie began painting in 2012. She paints her father’s jukurrpa, Maliki Jukurrpa (Domestic Dog Dreaming) and Malikijarra Jukurrpa (Two Dog Dreaming) at the Warlukurlangu Artists’ Aboriginal Corporation.

Her work is currently being hung in the gallery at the Museum and Art Gallery of the Northern Territory along with other finalists for the National Indigenous Art Award.

Telstra Art Award (National Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander Art Award)

I’m sick of doing nothing but having small bonfires and drinking our faces off. I’m sick of being alone. I’m sick of having highs and lows. I’m sick of being in one place. I’m sick of not knowing where I’m going. I’m sick of all this instability.

I don't need a heart anymore

Rip my fucking heart out and throw it on the floor tear my fucking eyes out I don’t wanna see no more the most painful thing in the world is still being in love with you still wanted to be able to cry on your chest about how much you’ve hurt me how you scared me so much and I figured you’d never come back and you can wrap your arms around me and stroke my hair and convince me you’re better than that I’m sick of shitty emo poems and I’m sick of feeling bad about being all alone I’m sick of feeling sick and sorry for eating and for breathing chop my fucking head off hang it on your door I don’t wanna be here no more this isn’t happening not to me I’m not here this is a catastrophe I’m somewhere else floating on cloud nine I’m not going to cry I’m not going to cry not over a stupid boy don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry leave me alone I don’t want this either no more I’ve forgotten about everything I’ve been fighting for; you’re not worth it apparently. But I still want you to hold my head in your chest and tell me it’s all gonna be okay with your arms wrapped around me. You. Not just anybody. All bad boys are wild and free not tied to a lamp post or carving “forever” into a tree. Motorcycle blues. Skateboard symphonies. I’d kind of rather you had just fucking killed me. Rebel rhapsody, don’t do as your told. I can beg for you back but that doesn’t fit the mold. I get it; I have to play a character too. I meant nothing I was just for show. I don’t like people seeing me happy so this is good for me anyways problem is worst case scenario is them seeing me in pain. I am emotionless, with maybe the exception of rage. If I am not heartless I have misbehaved. Give the people what they want put up a guard so they don’t fuck with you. Well you broke my walls down and picked up the bricks to build more around you. And there’s nothing I can think of that could get me through to you, and I wouldn’t want to, I’ve got a job to do. Break my fucking walls down and I’ll be going off the walls ripping my fucking hair out being with you has become like a chore; but I won’t give up, I want to chill you to the core. You’ll see. You’ll see that I don’t want any part of you anymore. They warned me you were free, free of all commitment, well they didn’t warn you that I’m a heartless bitch. Don’t act like you’re fucking sorry when you get upset seeing me do well. You get off on my pain and your ego sky rockets when you see me grieve over you. Well I am going to fucking thrive and say the fuck with you. Im going to do the impossible and take over this world and there’s nothing you can fucking do. I am going to bury you. This will be the end of you. This is the end of you. Rip my fucking heart out and throw it on the floor ? Well that’s just fine; I don’t want it anymore.

in all honesty

i’m completely SICK of being alone. 

I just want to love someone.

And I just want someone to love me.

To cuddle, hold hands, go on dates, kiss, look at stars. 

Just BE together.

I honestly think if I had someone by my side I would be much happier.

Dear ‘Prince Charming’ as people call it, come find me soon, i’ve been looking for you and just can’t seem to find you.