Sick

A Hiatus

I haven’t been having the best health lately. Growing up that was also the case and for one reason or another I’ve always ended up putting myself last. After twenty-three years it has finally caught up wit last December I had a major health problem return suddenly. Long story short things went down hill fast: I got fired from my job, I pretty much lost all motivation. What had made me happy creating art and writing fiction, no longer felt the same. Overall I really broke down and am suffering  subsequent depression.

All summer I have been wrestling with the idea to take a break from this blog. Yes I see where I have blinded myself and I admit where I screwed but I have really confronted everything yet. Plus it’s taking longer to recover. I just need time to heal.

That being said even though I am taking a break I do not want to delete this blog  or my NW Singers blog. I won’t do that. I am also open to inviting admins to this blog. 

The reason I’m writing this is that I hope my followers will understand. I adore each and every one of you. If anyone of you have any questions you can ask me. I would be more than happy to explain. I’m also going tag a few people, especially my major followers so hey know what is going on. I love you all so much. Thank you.

–Sarah

@222daysoflight, @flooridity, @hauntedwhispers, @ivykarmacode, @fallen-karmacode, @floor-jansen-goddess, @x-daughters-of-darkness-x, @thenightwishsingers, @fuckyestuomasholopainen, @stargazerastrology

//Mun is sick - the sort of sick that means I keep passing out to sleep, and I can’t breathe for coughing. I’m working on replies, but they’ll be really slow, and if I don’t reply immediately in IM it’s because I’ve drifted off again, but I will once I get the chance <3 

Thanks for the patience today. Healer Muse is glaring at me cuz he can’t help XDDD

~Sahlin-mun <3

don’t fall in love with me
your heart is locked, but before you know it I’ll own the key
I’ll figure out how you think, I bring danger but you’ll want to protect me
being with me will be as easy as breathing, I will make you feel free

they say the best love always does
I would know I’ve learned from the best
I’ve gone through them all, the athlete, the drug dealer, poor kids and the well dressed
all just trying to get my undressed
treat me like shit, oppressed

got myself out of all those
I left the relationships but kept the tricks so now I’m a pro
I’ll have at the first hello

I’ll make you feel alive
I’ll be the fresh air you’ve been craving
a new journey everyday
tell you you’re beautiful, who cares what you weigh
you’ll feel safe

then I’ll start to pull away
talking less everyday
I’ll be busy, won’t answer your calls
I’ll have you crying, confused, what did you do? punching walls, throwing your brothers baseball’s
outside at midnight
I won’t text you goodnight

then I’ll leave
you’ll need at least 6 months to grieve
I’ll do it when I know I am your whole world, your life revolves around our relationship
you’ll abuse drugs, and alcohol, so drunk you call me from your spaceship

you’ll ask me what went wrong
I’ll apologize, tell you to stay strong
you’ll play our song
every night before bed
thinking about every word I ever said
all the things you want to tell me, all the secrets and opinions and words unsaid

I won’t feel awful
it won’t hurt, the break up wasn’t painful

I’m sorry in advance
don’t give me a chance
don’t look at me, pretend not to notice my glance
I’m not looking for romance

I want a short love story
ill convince myself you’re the one
you won’t want anyone else, you’re off the market, done

after a few months I’ll get bored
I know I promised
I was the sweetest
now you’re the craziest

my love become your drug of choice
you’ll call a few times a day just to hear my voice
you’ll think about me always
driving on the highway
when you’re stuck at work on a friday

but I’ll leave abruptly
I’ll tell you it’s over and to never talk to me again, bluntly

the withdraw
will just get worse, keep going downhill
I’ll block you on everything and delete your number
you’ll cry to your mother

in a few weeks I’ll be at it again
and I’ll unblock you and let you see
the new girl I pick
you’ll question my words, if I had loved you how could I move on so quick

you will eventually move on but you’ll never forget
the smell of my cigarettes
the sheets on my bed
you’ll say it’s just another regret

but we’ll both know
a text from me, a simple hello
will make your heart dance
you’ll think about giving me a second chance
but listen to me when I tell you, don’t.

—  the warning you didn’t want to see

I never thought id be one to have to do this. Last night our 11 month old ferret Diablo was taken into the er. (Thats him in the picture, he hasnt sat still long enough for a photo since he came home.) He had vomited and was lethargic and unwilling to do much more than lift his head. After some xrays and ultrasounds it looks like he has something clogging up his tummy, making it balloon up and cause him distress. Both his dad and i are devastated. He and his brother are fed all raw diets, have a great big cage with nothing small that could be ingested and are closely supervised when out for playtime. The only option right now is surgery, and the estimate we were given was close to $5000USD. Both his dad and i work low paying jobs, and my seasonal employment is up soon as im planning to go back to school soon. Without surgery the only option is to put him down and it’s heartbreaking.

Please please please if you can consider donating. I’ll be putting the surgery on care credit but if the amount isnt raised within a few months the interest on the card goes up to 26% which would effectively make me have to file for bankruptcy.

Ill follow every blog that reblogs this post please spread this. gofundme.com/2guwmuk