okay for those of you who need context top gun is the most homoerotic movie ever made, notably for its volleyball scene (which always sunny recreated, if you’ll recall), and the heterosexual romance in top gun is widely regarded as like… incredibly forced and unconvincing, to the point of rendering the whole movie an unparalleled exercise in gayness.

so in the dennis system, when dennis is regaling all his friends with the story of how he’s devised a bulletproof system to land any girl he wants, he, uh… recreates the straight sex scene from top gun, shot for shot, using the same song that was used in the movie. this is not an accident. the dennis system is meant to establish dennis as a gay man bullshitting about his sex life. wow.

anonymous asked:

Heyyyyyy I saw that u had bmc headcannons? Could u like share some? Boyf riends ofc <3

boyf riends hcs are what i have dreams about

⁃ lots! of! shot gunning! (this isn’t an original hc but it’s my favorite)
⁃ jeremy picking up photography after the squip thing
⁃ it helps calm his anxiety, bc he can pause a moment forever in a photo (im projecting onto him)
⁃ him using a whole sd card taking pictures of michael when he isn’t paying attention
⁃ michael finds them, and loves them but jeremy is bright red
⁃ in return michael makes him a bunch of old school mix tapes for when he goes out to photograph
⁃ jeremy not being able to drive so michael drives him to random places at 3 am so that jeremy can practice different lighting
⁃ them stopping to get coffee, jeremy’s is black, michaels is sugar and cream with a splash of coffee
⁃ jeremy makes fun of him for this but secretly finds it adorable
⁃ arcade dates???? i think yes
⁃ michael saving up money for weeks, and buying a shit ton of coins for them to play all night long
⁃ christine taking jeremy to all of her favorite plays and musicals, even getting him to go into new york with her to see some on/off broadway
⁃ michael being tricked into going (mostly to drive them) but actually enjoying them
⁃ michael wearing!! a dark red suit!! to prom!!
⁃ jeremy’s is dark blue obviously, and they each get little flowers that are the color of the others suit to put on their jackets
⁃ hanging out by the wall for a part of the night, both wanting to dance but too scared to ask the other
⁃ omg! michael secretly got dance lessons from christine! but jeremy secretly got them too!
⁃ they finally get their nerdy asses out there for a slow song and dance
⁃ they skip soon after, drive to a nice empty parking lot somewhere nearby, and lay on the hood of michaels car getting high
⁃ michael making “sex on prom night” jokes, making jeremy bright red of course
⁃ they don’t have sex but they do make out and lose a couple lays in the backseat after they finish their joint
⁃ i’m the worst at this but i enjoy making these for u guys!!! keep asking for them!!!
⁃ ask me for ships/situations and i’ll write stuff for them!!! it’s good practice!!

Winter's Night Ch1

“Again!” Madame B shouted in my ear.
I didn’t even bat an eyelid. The Red Room were ruthless and thorough in their training. Assets were to be killing machines. No fears, no emotions, no pain. I held two guns in my hands. I flawlessly swapped the cartridges and held them up to the target. I fired five shots from each gun before throwing them in the air, swapping hands before emptying the bullets into the target.
There was only one hole. In between the eyes.
“Excellent.” She whispered in my ear. “You’ll be a perfect match for him.”
I retained a shudder at her voice and who she was referring to. Everyone here and probably anywhere had heard of the Winter Soldier. Russia’s prized assassin. The current programme was to find a female partner for him. They said dual sex partnerships worked best.
No one questioned them; those who did never returned.
Madame B walked slowly, her heels clacking sharply against the wooden floor. She stood silently before me and watched me. I maintained eye contact the whole time.
Looking away was a sign of weakness.
A voice spoke from behind me in Russian. “Is she the one?”
Madame B scrutinised me looking for the slightly imperfection in my appearance and posture. “She is.” She replied in our native tongue.
“They will acquaint themselves tomorrow.” The man walked forward and stood next to her but my eyes remained locked with hers. “They must be compatible. Until then, kill the others.”
I saw a flicker of emotion in Madame’s eyes before I realised something. She had grown a slither of feeling towards the other assets. Internally I frowned. Emotion caused weakness which led to being compromised. You were to avoid being compromised at all costs. There is no such thing as failure at the Red Room.
“Already done, sir.” She walked out and I remained facing ahead.
“Look at me, asset!”
My head snapped towards him.
“What is your birth name?” The man asked. He had slicked back black hair, clearly dyed, and sharp grey eyes.
“Arianna Katyna, sir.” My voice was crystal clear, only a slight Russian twinge was there. Assets had any idiosyncrasies or accents beaten out of them when they start training. Assets had to be untraceable.
“Bury it. Never utter it, breathe it, or even think it because if you do, you’ll be begging for death.”
“Understood, sir.”
I wasn’t expecting the slap that hit my right cheek. I barely felt the pain before I compartmentalised away in my head.
“I did not ask you to understand it! I told you to bury it! Assets do not speak unless spoken to!” The man got up in my face. I remained stoic, not even blinking until he took a step back.
“You are the asset. You now go by Nightshade unless told other wise.” I nodded once. “You are to come here in your uniform at 0500. Don’t be late.” He walked out the room. I waited until his footsteps receded before letting out the slightest of sighs.
Time to prepare.


I walked silently into the training room as the clock strikes five. Punctuality was the first thing that was drilled in us. There was only the candlelit chandelier in the middle of the room casting light and even then it wasn’t a lot. In the corner of the room a man sat silently watched my every movement. He stood up fluidly, the metal of his left arm catching the light. The Red star was prominent on his shoulder as he wore his uniform. I stood to attention and watched his every movement.
“Zimniy Soldat.” I greeted formally.
“Paslen.” He responded.
“You two are to work together. To shape the future. From now one you are one and the same. You have one hour before your initiation mission. Get to know the other’s techniques. You are now a single machine.” The man from yesterday walked in and stood to my left. “I am Volskov. First name irrelevant. I am your SO and CO rolled into one. You disobey and you both know the consequences.”
“Da, ser.” We replied in sync. We looked at each other for a moment before looking at Volskov.
“Begin.” He said before leaving.
The Winter Solder slowly removed the facial equipment he was wearing and removed his weapons. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe he had removed all of them. He methodically laid them on the floor and motioned at me to do the same. I looked at him as I removed the short sword from my back followed by my tactical belt and guns. I removed the holster and sheath of knives from my shoulders.
“We shall spar for 15 minutes, shoot for 15, abilities for 10, mission preparation for 20. Objections?”
“Net.” I shook my head
He took first swing.
We were re-attaching our equipment after cleaning them when Volskov walked in. “I have observed your dynamics as a pair. You work efficiently together. You need to get better. The only people you trust are each other.” We both looked at the other before looking away. “You need to communicate more. Put these comms in. You are to use them. The only time you take them out is to wash. You’re mission is to wipe out this cartel. They think they are strong enough to over throw us. You prove them wrong.”
I looked at Volskov asking a silent question.
“Confirmed success in eighteen hours. You are going incognito. Safe house with further instructions is at these co-ordinates. There is a helicopter outside.” Volskov finished before abruptly leaving. He paused before he reached the door. “Soldier, do Nightshade’s hair the way you were told.”
I was confused. Why would they need to do my hair? It was in a high ponytail, the way it had been since my first hour at the Red Room. We were told ponytails were practical and efficient. An asset should not spend more time then absolutely essential on her appearance.
The Winter Soldier pushed my shoulder with his metal hand and I walked forward towards the helicopter that was waiting outside.
The Soldier walked in and immediately started to flip switches and press buttons as I slid the door closed and locked it. After ten minutes of silent flight he pressed a series of buttons before unbuckling himself and walking towards me like a predator stalking its prey. It struck me that he could kill me so many ways before I could put up much of a fight, despite my multiple years of training. He quietly unbuckled me before he spoke.
“Kneel here.” I complied and kneeled where he had pointed. My hands twitching to the knives attached to my boots.
“Relax.” I felt him kneel down behind me and remove my sword. He placed it to our right purposely so I could see it. I felt his hands go to my hair and remove the band. I tensed as I felt my hair fall against my back in its chocolate brown waves. The sensation was foreign, my hair being down. The longest it was ever down was the five minutes we were allowed to shower at the Red Room.
“Relax.” A quiet voice said from behind me and I relaxed slightly but remained on guard. I felt the Soldier put his hand in my hair and pull them through with a gentleness that shocked me.
The Winter Soldier was doing my hair. We were always told that The Winter Soldier was ruthless, efficient and silent. That we had to idolise the soldat. That he never did anything unnecessarily, which we should do. That he never made mistakes. Yet here that man was doing my hair. I knew that shock would be evident on my face and suddenly was glad that the Soldier was behind me. This famous world-known assassin was currently doing my hair and was completely in control of the situation. That fact made me stop. I felt his hand go to the top of the back of my head and separate the hair he pulled on it gently and began. He kept picking up different pieces of my hair and adding them into whatever he was doing. It wasn’t until he was doing the length of my hair did I realise that he was braiding it. When he finished he stood up and walked around in front of me, assessing his work. He seemed to hesitate before extending his hand down to pull me up. I then hesitated before accepting his hand as he pulled me to my feet. I flew slightly as he put a bit to much force into the pull before letting go of my hand. He silently walked to the cockpit and pressed a sequence of buttons before taking the wheel again. I silently stalked forward and sat in the co-pilot seat.
“Spasibo.” I said quietly, thanking the person next to me.
The Soldier nodded.
There was one thing that the trainers did get right. The Winter Soldier was an asset of mystery.
We landed shortly later, in a clearing next to the safe house. We hadn’t said anything to each other since he did my hair and I had a feeling that that was how it was going to stay for a time. There was a black inconspicuous car in the driveway for us to use no doubt to get to the mission later.
The safe house was more of a safe cabin but something about it made me feel at peace and told me not to underestimate it. The Soldier walked forward and pushed something by the door and pulled keys out of the section that had opened up. I quickly followed and stepped over the threshold. I looked around and saw a table with a couple of chairs to one side with a map of Europe hung above it.
The Soldier quietly spoke next to me. “Volskov said that there was a package on your cot for you. He said it was for the mission.” He walked off to the kitchenette and began looking in all the cupboards. On the table there was a Manila folder which I quickly picked up.

Mission Briefing for The Winter Soldier and Nightshade

Target: Kilianov Ausikya
Gender: Male
Nationality: Russian
Age: 37
Mission Perimeters: Ausikya will be at a ball to discuss a business transaction. The ball is to celebrate said transaction. Assets are to stop this transaction and neutralise the threat. Assets are to attend backroom meeting between the three and then neutralise, neutralisation must not have any witnesses. No collateral damage allowed.
Aliases: Winter Soldier is to be known as Viktor Sherinov, businessman
Nightshade is to be known as Anastasiya Sherinov, professional dancer
The Sherinovs have been married for three years after meeting in Venice on business. They are high up in the oil trade and ‘need’ to land the secondary deal that is to be discussed.

I put down the folder. I would almost put money on the fact that the reason we were being a married couple was an attempt at getting us to ‘bond’. I looked at the Soldier who was looking through his arsenal. This was going to be awkward. Picking up the folder again, I slowly walked over to him and placed the folder on the table.
“We have our orders.” I spoke quietly, not wanting to break the quiet atmosphere.
He nodded once before returning to what he was doing. “I’m going to get ready.” I told him before quickly walking away.

It wasn’t hard to figure out which room was mine due to only one of us wore dresses. A dress that looked way to expensive for an asset like me to wear had been carefully hung on a hook next to the bed. The dress was a Greek style, all white apart from a silver shoulder detail. On the floor next to it was a box with delicate silver heels on top and a small jewellery box. On the bed was a note.
These items are to come back in the condition they are now or else remember my previous threat.
Love Volskov x

I felt an uncomfortable bubble rise in before I forcefully shoved it away. I was Nightshade, the assassin trained in the Red Room. I did not have emotions. I slipped out of my combat uniform and carefully placed my thigh sheath on the bed for me to put on. I checked the back of the dress to see how to put it on and saw an invisible zip. I quickly slipped the sheath on and tightened it appropriately. I tested my leg to make sure I could still move it normally before taking the dress. I changed my mind at the last minute and put the shoes on first, not wants to crease the beautiful dress. Carefully I slipped into the dress and slid my shoulder into it. I pulled up the zip. And looked in the mirror.
My chocolate coloured hair was still in the braid that the Soldier had put it in and my deep blue eyes were framed by long dark lashes. My lips were a rosy pink and skin had a very light golden tone to it. The dress accented my curves and my complexion well.
Remembering the jewellery box I quickly bent down and snatched it up, and upon opening it I saw diamond earrings. I quickly slipped them in, for once grateful to the Red Room’s painful methods of making us look normal to the extent of ear piercings.
I caught my reflection in the mirror and silently stared as I spun myself in the mirror looking at different angles. This never would have happened in the Red Room. Clearly these people have a lot of money. An almost silent knock brought me out of my reverie.
“Come in.” I replied. My breath caught in my throat as I saw the feared Winter Soldier in a tuxedo. That was something I thought I’d never see.
“We need to leave or we’ll be late.” He said stiffly but I didn’t miss the way his eyes flitted down my body before he turned and left the room.

I was out of my depth surrounded by all these people who were practically rolling in money and associates. I sipped my champagne and smiled politely at a lady who was looking at me from across the room; she smiled back. I turned to my husband next to me and sent an award-winning smile at the man he was talking to. There was a high pitched tapping and everyone hushed.
Kilianov Ausikya was stood on the stage and held a wired microphone in his hand. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to thank you all graciously for coming. As we all know tonight’s ball is held in honour of two critical business deals happening tonight. I would like to welcome Anna Valenkov to the stage!” The crowd cheered whilst myself and The Winter Soldier clapped politely, fake smiles plastered across our faces. Anna walked up onto the stage greeting Kilianov halfway. “I would also like to welcome Mr and Mrs Sherinov tonight but with a special request.”-Both of us tensed-“I heard about Anastasiya’s dancing background and couldn’t help wondering if you could treat us to a dance. Anastasiya and Viktor, would you mind?” He smiled at us when he saw us.
Shit. The target’s asking me to dance with some guy that could snap me in half that I met around fourteen hours ago. Fan-bloody-tastic. This seemed like something that would happen in those movies the Red Room would force us to watch so we would know how to act like a lady.
“It would be our honour, Kilianov.” The Soldier said politely. And he took my hand in his gloved metal one and pulled me towards the dance floor. Under his breath he whispered to me. “Do you know the Viennese Waltz?”
I was taken aback by his question but didn’t let it show. “The Red Room is extensive in its training.” I nodded to him as we faced each other in the middle of the floor.
Kilianov spoke once again. “Do you know what dance you’re going to do?”
I smiled brightly. “We were thinking of the Viennese Waltz, you know, since we met in Vienna.” I pretended to lean into the soldier’s chest lovingly.
“How romantic!” A lady squealed somewhere behind me and people laughed.
“I must agree with the beautiful lady; it’s a romantic choice. Band? Take it away.”
The band started to play and Winter placed his hands on me gently but firmly. I quickly replied in kind.
We swayed side to side before he spun me out and I twirled before going back into his arms. We span together and took the steps that had been seared into my memory. We tilted our arms left to right as we span in a circle. We swayed before Winter span me around him with one hand before pulling me in close. We repeated it all again, staring at each other the whole time. Suddenly he whispered in my ear as he pulled me close.
“Do you trust me?”
I paused before I replied. “Enough to stay alive tonight.”
“I’m going to lift you and you need to smile.” I looked at him in shock. “Relax. 1..2…3!” He whispered as true to his word he lifted me onto his shoulder and I smiled and pointed my finger and feet. The audience cheered as he brought me down and spun me again. I twirled angelically as he pulled me close. We picked up the pace whilst remaining in time with the music as we spun around the floor faster with the classical steps. The music drew to a close but he didn’t let go of me as he searched my face. Suddenly becoming aware of our environment again he pretended to loving kiss my forehead before we pulled apart.
Kilianov made yet another speech but neither of us were listening. We continued to mingle and receive compliments for our performance but we brushed them off as if they were nothing which they were. The dance was just part of the mission. Speaking of the mission, we pulled it off without a hitch; we slipped a toxin that caused cardiac arrest into Killianov’s drink just after he signed the deal with us meaning the other business transaction couldn’t happen.
We were driving back to the safe house in silence, Winter was at the wheel, in complete silence. My thoughts were running rampant through my head as we pulled up. Winter unlocked the door and we were greeted by Volskov.
“It seems like they got along just fine, sir.” He smirked.
“It seems so.” Another man stepped into the light and held out a hand. “Alexander Pierce, pleasure to meet you.”

…….. Message me to be in the tag list for this xx

Originally posted by dailybuckybarnes

You got knocked the f*ck out!

So, this is an imagine I wrote for my friends challenge!
@yellowtheremarvelfan celebrates 600 followers and I was happy to join!

Being said, there is not much information about this imagine, so enjoy it!

Words: 1321

Ever since the world went to shit, I had two constants in my life.
Shane and Daryl.
Since my brother apparently  didn’t survive his gun shot wound I only had them after THAT night.
The night, where the dead didn’t stay dead and became alive again.
Or something like that.

Anyways, Shane took care of me and my nephew Carl, as well as for his mom, Lori.
Shortly after that we met Carol and her family, as well as some other people.
Including Daryl and Merle Dixon.
Daryl Dixon.

Grumpy. Silent. Big Heart and mostly, undeniable hot.
But that’s just it.
The two of us never really got a chance to get to know each other better and now, settled in at the prison, I don’t want to make things any more awkward.

That was then and now I am busy otherwise.

Keep reading

rosla-aculid-kitty  asked:

((FAK HERE IT GOES)) Nikki was walking along the street around 11pm holding a small bag. She was in a cute flannel and skinny jeans. She smiled and looked at the sky enjoying the view. She Hurd gun shots and her eyes went wide and looked to where she Hurd them "gun shot-"a bullet flew past her as she jumped and ran into the near by ally and hid. "The hell!?@

Reaper hung low and fired a few shells at the police and growled as the bullets went through him and he took cover again. 



Toi Mutsuo

In May 1938, 21-year-old Toi Mutsuo was severely depressed and suffered from tuberculosis, which at the time was an incurable and terminal illness. He lived in the small village of Kaio, on the outskirts of Okayama in Japan. Mutsuo’s parents died when he was very young, forcing him to be brought up by his grandmother. His depression began when local women started to reject his advances because of his suffering of tuberculosis. Before the massacre, Mutsuo wrote suicide notes that implied the reason for his actions was the pain of rejection by his peers.

In the early hours of May 21st, 1938, Mutsuo used an axe to kill his grandmother via decapitation. He then proceeded to cut the electricity line to the village and strapped two torches to his head, before systematically moving from house to house and killing anyone he found inside. He used a shotgun for most of the killings, though he also made use of the axe and a katana. Before the sun came up, he committed suicide by shooting himself in the chest with the shotgun, but not before he’d taken the lives of 30 innocent people. At this point in history, the massacre perpetrated by Mutsuo was the worst ever to be committed by an individual.

BTS as things I heard at the Highschool pt.2
  • <p> <b>Seokjin:</b> <p/><b></b> "-it was the only one left, and she ate it... and she was like 'sorry' and I was like 'okay', but really I was so mad like what the FUCK bitch that was the LAST ONE!"<p/><b>Yoongi:</b> <p/><b></b> "Did you have violin lessons?"<p/><b></b> "No! I went to go... see... my friends... dad...?"<p/><b>Hoseok:</b> <p/><b></b> "FUCK this is so cool! Best 25 cents I've ever spent"<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> <p/><b></b> "I've spent $200 on pizza slices and soda... and I don't even like pizza."<p/><b>Jimin:</b> <p/><b></b> "I remember one time I just shot a gun so I'd have company, but the cops didn't even show up."<p/><b>Taehyung:</b> <p/><b></b> "Oh hey you guys!"<p/><b></b> "Hey."<p/><b></b> "Hi!"<p/><b></b> "Um, hi..."<p/><b></b> "Okay bye!"<p/><b></b> "Bye?"<p/><b>Jungkook (ft Jimin):</b> <p/><b></b> "Please don't hit my butt"<p/><b></b> "I won't"<p/><b></b> "Thank you"<p/><b></b> *Smacks ass*<p/></p>
Gunshot (a sneak peek)

So… This was written way back in January (yikes), when I first started to write the mafia au fic 8 Days a Week and only @kawaiilo-ren and a couple other people have seen it. You might think you’ve seen it before, because Kait is a babe and she’s been drawing the amazing comic of this scene (and murdering me along the way). 

My plan was to keep this private until it was time to publish it on Ao3 but life is short and I actually like this. People will probably forget by the time it’s published there anyway, oops. 

Under the cut because it’s long. 

Hospital hall is looking cold and bleak under the fluorescent lights, like it did many hours ago. Yuri doesn’t remember how long it’s been since he left the building but coming back feels like returning from war, maybe. He doesn’t know what war feels like. It must be exhausting, if it resembles this even slightly. 

Ignoring his shaking hands is easy, as is turning a blind eye to his pulsating head ache. His body is crashing after riding through the adrenaline waves and he would kill for a nap; but that would make the list of things worth killing for longer and he isn’t sure if he is ready to deal with the paperwork. He isn’t ready to deal with anything yet, he just wants to return the weapon to its true owner and fall into a lifelong slumber.

Keep reading

Vices and Virtues

This sort of made itself tbh and I just went with it, I was going for a fuck off big conical glass for the bong, and you can’t tell me Rick wouldn’t own goofy alien boxers when he was younger.