Shit-white-people-say

Shit white people say to asians

1. Are you Chinese, Filipino, or Vietnamese?
2. Do you eat dogs?
3. Its okay to call you yellow because that’s what your skin color is, right?
4. Do you speak Chinese?
5. Can you make me egg rolls?
6. Do you speak English?
7. Are you good at math?
8. You don’t look Asian, your eyes aren’t squinted.
9. If you’re Asian, why are you white?
10. When you’re talking to each other in your language are you talking about me?
11. Do you speak another language?
12. Do you eat weird things?
13. Do you always eat rice?
14. Do you have problems with your L’s and R’s when you talk?
15. You speak English well, how long have you been speaking it?
16. Of course you’re smart, you’re Asian!
17. Can you recommend a good Asian restaurant?
18. Do you eat cats??
19. What country are you from?
20. Is it true Asian guys have small dicks?

If you think of any more add em

anonymous asked:

What if, for PR, the JLA let their sidekicks have social media? Like, Just imagine all them like that. constant flow of shitposts of them singing things that are so out, trying to throw and catch popcorn in each other mouths, sliding down the stairs of the titan tower on their matters. their ratings would immediately go up.

Batman glared around the table. “As you all know six months ago the League voted to set up official social media accounts for Young Adult heroes connected with us. A decision I was strongly against at the time, and I feel my worst fears have been realized”

“Superman” He said turning an icy look at Clark “Superboy has recorded nearly 40 hours of bottle flips, including one’s on the moon and while fighting an alien invasion. Meanwhile Kon el has been featured in a very popular viral video called ‘Superboy’s greatest dabs’” 

“Wonder Woman, world leaders are asking questions about Cassie’s mid-superbattle selfies. The national teachers union is putting out a strongly worded statement this afternoon about it” 

“Ted Flash, Blue Beetle and Kid Flash’s ‘shit white people say’ Podcast is very popular but also has made the kids a major target on right wing news, they have enough to worry about without getting pipe bombs from Fox viewers. Also Impulse and Blue Beetle’s cooking show, it would be nice if they could make it through one 15 minute youtube video without blowing up or burning down a kitchen and many parents are worried about the number of rude jokes and ass slapping”

“To the room at large, there have been complaints about the number of in underwear bathroom mirror selfies Beast Boy takes, 8 in one day not that long ago. Starfire’s make up tutorials are, eccentric to say the least. Many parents are worried that Raven is teaching children the dark arts on Instagram. And finally Aquaman, Aqualad’s Instagram is creating death treats from anti-gay groups around the world.” 

Hal Jordan leaned back in his seat “All in favor of doing nothing about this and letting the kids do what they like?” a roar of “AYE!” came from every corner Batman scowled. 

Cliché Shit White People Say In Regards To Race Relations

-I don’t see color
-All lives matter
-Why does everything always have to be about race?
-I don’t see a White Entertainment Television or a White History Month
-How dare you call me privileged, I’ve been poor all my life!
-Well maybe if black people would stop resisting arrest they wouldn’t get shot by police so often
-It was an isolated incident
-I think that YOU are the racist ones!
-We have a black president, obviously racism has come to an end
-The media only talks about injustices toward black people, what about injustices toward us?
-I cannot understand the motive behind this senseless tragedy
-You guys are always whining and complaining about something
-Oh sure, play the race card again

What would you do?

Sorry it’s a long story lol. Yesterday when I was at work (I work at stop and shop) this old white guy was flirting with me. I ignored him and was being polite and still spoke to him. Then he brought the conversation to politics🙄. Of course he had to bring up Obama🤦🏽‍♀️. So he says “you’re a beautiful woman but Obama never did anything for this country😒”.In my head I’m like “how does that even make sense”? I continued on working and he says “yeah he didn’t do anything for me”. 🙄I’m like this man is really trying to get me to be rude to him. My response was “oh really? I’m sorry you feel that way”. I just continued ignoring him and scanning his stuff. He then says “but this guy trump he scares me a little bit. I voted for him and he’s making me look bad. Great guy but he can’t tell me he doesn’t see what he’s doing. He’s acting like a complete jackass”. I think was expecting me to say something so he can have an argument with me and tell me how great his president is. But just wrote it off as him being old. He switched back to a different topic and told me “I have a girlfriend and my wife doesn’t like that, but she doesn’t realize she’s old”. I didn’t know what to say that so I just told him to pay, and he told me I’m very beautiful and he loved talking to me. I just smiled and told him have a nice day. What I really wanted to say was “go fuck yourself and you deserve to be alone🤷🏾‍♀️”. I promise I didn’t make this up 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

Me: this smells amazing, I just need my gf to grab the Chinese 5 spice and Chinese rice wine.

Other white friend: what are those white things.

Me: well the recipe called for crushed garlic but I didn’t have any whole cloves so I just used minced garlic from a jar.

Other white friend: won’t that make it spicy.

Me:…..the white people memes are true.

Dear white people,

Educate your daughters.
Today my white female coworker came up to me, surprised look on her face, saying, “I didn’t know you talked to a white guy!!” as if it’s just unheard of and she was just so happy for me.
Okay, yeah, little white girl is shocked by mixed couple in Alabama, I’ll let it slide.
So I nod and bluntly say, “Yeah.”
I guess she caught my wtf vibe because she felt the need to say “it’s just so rare!”
I corrected her, “Actually my ex is white.”
“Really?!” she decided to put me under her microscope when she asked “Do you only like white guys?”
“Um. No. I don’t have a color preference. They just happened to be white.” I was trying to let that be the end of this conversation because I knew she was about to say something that was going to piss me off.
But no. THIS GIRL decides to say, “Oooh, well yeah you’re pretty enough!”
Pretty enough.
Me, being a black girl, was pretty enough to be graced by a white boy’s presence.
I was so shocked that she said that that I didn’t know how to respond. So I didn’t. I was so taken back by how she didn’t realize how offensive what she had just said was. She literally just sat there and smiled, thinking she was giving me a damn compliment.
I could’ve gone off on the little white girl, but I didn’t. But part of me thinks I should have called her out on her ignorance.
I’m done with my rant now.

Why do white people always say this shit? Tyreese better keep his damn mouth shut, I know that. #SnitchesGetStitches 

Real talk, when someone says a black person isn’t “really black” what they actually mean is that you are not at all like the fiend they see portrayed in the media. When someone says this to me, all I hear is “Wow, you’re not the ignorant, uncivilized ape-like beast that I’ve been afraid of and entertained by my entire life. Thanks for assimilating to white society by giving up your culture in order to make me feel more comfortable with your presence. Oh, and thanks  for turning the other cheek to my onslaught of micro aggressive, racist remarks. Good for you, black person. Good for you.”

Natural Hair, Black Girl Problems...

I was at work, working with a student, talking about college and shit when a latino male teacher walks into the room, ugly as hell.  "Okay i have to ask you, how long did all of that take?!,“ making a circular motion with his hand, obviously referring to my braids.  Fuck.

 "A long time, i don’t even know.” I said, and even if i did bother counting the hours it took for me to do my hair, i am not about to tell you.  The student that I was working with, also a latino male, starts to make a joke because he could obviously sense my disgust at the teacher for asking me this.  "I did her hair, it took a while,“ he said and we laugh.  I shake my head, oh god.  

"oh really,” the teacher says, “well if you did her hair then what type of hair did you use for her micro braids?” I just stare at this man, because these aren’t even fucking micro braids.  He continues, “because i know there are four types of hair that you can use.” Oh my god.  Is he fucking serious? My student says he doesn’t know.  So the teacher continues, “it’s indian hair." 

You sound dumb as hell! That’s what I wanted to say but couldn’t because I was at work obviously. "No actually, it is not.  It’s from Senegal.” I should have said something to really make him feel like an idiot. “Isn’t that in India?,” the teacher asks.  Clearly he really is an idiot though. “No, Senegal is in Africa." 

I think at this point he could sense the disgust in my stale face.  Embarrassed, he apologizes and walks out of the room.

Moral of the story is this, if you choose to be ignorant about black culture do not project your ignorant ass, demeaning ass questions upon me while I am at work.  I do not mind educating people on black culture (or natural hair, braids and the like) speaking from my own experiences and education, but don’t think you know shit and try to belittle me in the process.  I have no problem with making you feel stupid.  

Sad part is, this isn’t even the worst shit.  Imagine the type of shit that white women say…