About guilt...

… and outstanding acting skills….

Bae killed me in this episode. AGAIN. I just…

Look, my personal situation isn’t the very best atm. In fact, i’m literally kind of going through the worst time of my life. And maybe it’s because of this simple fact that I’m so goddamn vulnerable right now. But… you see… Bob Morley, ladies and gents… He already DID a great job this season. Again and again he’s already proven that he’s just one of, if not THE best actor of The 100 - in S4 and even before. I… dunno how to even START to describe what his acting in the latest episode made me feel. But I try, even if there already are dozens of metas about it and no-one’s gonna read this anyway. I just need to get this off me.

To see Bob Morley’s Bellamy sitting in that Rover, not being able to rescue these poor guys out in that storm of black rain, alone and forlorn, completely lost in his guilt and fear and pain, forced to listen to the goddamn screams of the daddy and his already dying son over the radio, the screams of people he swore to protect and to rescue… It’s just too much. Far too much. For him - and for myself too. Something broke inside of me today. And this time, other than the times before, my tears didn’t stop falling. I cried throughout the rest of the ep and simply wasn’t able to stop myself. Seeing and most and for all HEARING him cry, his voice so goddamn hoarse and broken, barely a whisper when he told Kane that he failed, that he thinks that he’s CONSTANTLY failing, that he can’t rescue anyone, not even his own blood… Guys… It hurts. Something deep inside of me hurts like hell. And I almost thought that I could FEEL his pain atm. I couldn’t BREATHE because of it. That was not a healthy kind of crying I did. That wasn’t relieving. That was ACHING. And i’m still aching all over.

And not to mention Bell’s last words echoing the ones of Kane. Did he speak of himself here? This is not just about Octavia right? Did he say that he himself doesn’t WANT to be saved? I hate to admit that but… I think that’s what his eyes were telling Kane (and us) atm. At that point… he already was beyond tears. He just… stood there and cited Kanes words from before in an almost… stone-cold voice… I fear for him. I’m afraid what he might do now, that he really don’t know any limits now anymore, that he’ll head right into the next big dangerous situation so that he could die. Yes I think that at the end of this episode his greatest wish is just to die. That he doesn’t deserve to live anymore (what is new, Anne, but…), whereas others, who HE FAILED TO SAVE, are dead and gone now. (The only reason that he had not left the rover to die in the toxic rain was probably the hope to see Clarke again (well, I hope, bc she told him so… Gosh where is she when she’s most needed…)  From HIS point of view it must feel like he killed those guys out there. New deaths, new guilt, new pain. New blood added to the blood already staining his hands…

And this broke me. This BREAKS me. Not just my heart. My everything. And Bob Morley, bless him, he’s just SO BRILLIANT in what he’s doing, that I just want to grab his Bellamy by the shoulders and shake him, I just want to scream at his face that he’s valuable, that he’s beautiful and brave and kind in all his constant TRYING and STRUGGLING and SELF-FINDING. Bob Morley easily convinces me again and again of the authenticity of a Bellamy Blake. He’s so tangible for me. So downright true and believable. I’m so thankful that Bob Morley is our Bellamy Blake. He’s a blessing for this show. I can’t repeat it enough.

And now that I finally finished my crying, I just want to say that I loved this episode. It may not be the most exciting or mindblowing one of this season so far. But in all it’s (subtle) pain and struggling (and I’d especially like to point out the great performances of Henry Ian Cusick, Paige Turco, Luisa D’Oliveira and Chelsey Reist here too!!!) it was some of the most gripping ones up until now for me. Wow… Thank you Bobby. And again: Give bae all the awards in the world, please. Dat guy is so goddamn talented… Jfc

aleksandrsmorozova  asked:

Oh my GOD I love that you changed his name to Malaria when you were reading R&R lmao. It's so very deserved, and I bet it made the book much, much more tolerable

IT DID lmao it really did and i tried to do the same for my friend who started reading s&b right after i finished r&r but she was like “nah i still know it’s him so that’s not helping” which i totally understand tbh 

  • Friend: Hey why do you like that character so much?
  • Me: Are you sure you're ready for this kind of conversation

Just because two people aren’t romantically involved doesn’t mean they can’t be super important to one another.

Just because two people are super important to one another doesn’t mean they have to be romantically involved.

It is okay to love people deeply without wanting to be with them romantically and people should not make your friendship uncomfortable by consistently nagging you to date.

Let’s appreciate and support friendships and stop demanding people to have feelings they don’t have.


2018 Netflix Original Series: Grounders

250 years after a Nuclear War managed to destroy all lands and leave behind only a small amount of survivors, a civilization was built. From the old world came knowledge to those living in the new. They have sets of laws, religions, and teachings. Their names have been passed down kin after kin since the war.

They know war harsher than most do as well, and a new one is set to come. There has been chaos since the last one while the current Commander, the one who everyone bows to, has been unable to control it. This puts the faith her people as well as fellow ambassadors have in her in jeapordy. With newer clans and armies forming, and very little time till Ascension Day, where a new Commander shall be tested based on their knowledge of each clans religions, laws and people to rule, war is almost inevitable.

Only thing is, this isn’t the war that they should be worried about. Bigger things will come into their lives that they will not be able to understand. Confusion incites fear, fear incites violence. Category Entertainment. No copyright infrigement intended. All clips belong to their respective production companies. Available to watch in 1080p resolution.


Lesbian/bisexual representation in my favourite shows

“If anybody can find someone to love them and to help them through this difficult thing that we call life, I support that in any shape or form.”