Self-growth

Honestly

If you know me you know I’m all about self care and personal growth. I’m still battling health issues with epilepsy. Recently I have to constantly go to the hospital, constantly take different meds that make me feel even worse. As bad as I feel every day I still get up and deal with life and stay strong because I know that all of the hurt right now inside and out is for the better. Staying on top of my health is my number one thing right now. To Be Black and on a Healthy path.

Everything is temporary.

Don’t compare your growth to anyone else’s. Improvement takes time, and each person experiences it differently.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin
You wouldn't tell a beautiful flower to grow faster, so why do the same to yourself?

Self growth is a process with no deadline. Take care of yourself and work to be a better person at your own pace. Self growth doesn’t happen over night.

If you commit yourself to doing something that you love, you will never have to work a moment in your life. Make sure you find what ever it is that makes your heart shine.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin
How to stay Positive 🐝

1. Be yourself. Live authentically. To quote Dr. Suess, “There is no one alive that is you’er than you.” Don’t try to be someone you’re not to impress people. You will always be happiest when you are being your true self.

2. Contribute to the world in any way that you can. Maybe for you that’s picking up garbage on your way home from work, or giving money to a homeless person on the street, but you will become a more positive person if you are giving back.

3. Be grateful. Acknowledge how fortunate you are and be thankful that you have simple things like heating, food, and shelter. If you are grateful you will always be able to think more positively.

4. Be optimistic. So maybe you missed your 10:30 showing of Beauty And The Beast, are there later showings? Can you plan a rain check? Wouldn’t coffee be nice instead?

5. Surround yourself with positive people. Odds are, if you spend your time with negative people you’ll become more negative. When we are around positive people we become more positive ourselves.

6. Don’t be discouraged. You will never fail until you stop trying!

7. Be a realist. Everyone has their bad days, everyone. Lest,  I remind you that Walt Disney, J.K. Rowling, and Steven Spielberg, were all rejected before they ever succeeded.

8. Be like Elsa and let it go. Okay so Elsa may not have been the most positive person at first, but by the end of the movie she learned to make a positive out of what was once a negative situation! Don’t hold on to anger, fear, or hurt. Keep moving forward and forgive others and yourself.

9. Help someone else. It’s so easy to make someone’s entire day. Compliment someone’s new clothes or hair cut, hold doors open for people, smile at strangers and share inspirational quotes with friends. You will feel so much happier and positive if you make someone else feel that way.

10. Kick fear to the curb. Stop letting “what if’s” control your life. Be brave and trying something new, or do something that might scare you. Doing something is always better than doing nothing; you might just surprise yourself!

11. Stop and smell the roses. Appreciate everything around you: sights, smells, music. When we don’t take time to breathe we become stressed.

12. Put down those chips. Junk food might make you feel good for a moment but it will only make you feel unhappy down the road. Swap a milkshake for a smoothie, Soda for a glass of water or a cup of green tea, ice cream for a fruit bowl and so on. We can actually eat a lot more raw foods than processed foods without gaining weight or feeling bloated.

13. Get out there. Make plans! Stop scrolling through instagram and snap stories feeling bad about yourself because it’s a Friday night and you’re at home. It’s always nice to stay in every now and then but it’s also enjoyable to get out into the world and socialize.

14. Get your beauty sleep. 7 hours minimum to function and 8 ideally. It’s impossible to be positive when you’re cranky from not getting enough z’s.

15. Exercise. Find the exercise for you. Maybe it’s swimming, hiking, cycling, yoga, dance, or basketball. Working out will make you feel powerful, happy, and accomplished.

16. Don’t compare yourself to others. Other people’s beauty does not take away from your own. Yes, Sarah from math class has a really nice smile…but have you seen yours? Wow.

17. Accept yourself.  Change what you can change and love what you can’t.

18. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Take yourself out of the situation. Is this really a big deal? Will it affect you tomorrow? What about next week? Next month?

19. Be empathetic. Your friend just cancelled your plans for the evening because he is feeling too anxious. What can you say to show him that you’re accepting of his situation? Can you offer up an alternative plan? People want to spend time with people who are kind and accepting of them.

20. Accept that life isn’t linear. There are always going to be ups and downs and that is absolutely normal! You just have to ride the wave  instead of letting yourself drown.

10 Ways to Ground Yourself

Grounding is a technique that helps keep someone in the present moment. It is only in the present moment that we can fully live our lives. Grounding techniques can reduce anxiety, quiet the mind, and connect you to your inner voice. These simple techniques can ground you in your own truth and help you get to know your inner self. Grounding is also essential for basic health and survival. Grounding enhances your ability to function effectively on a day-to-day basis. When poorly grounded, your spatial understanding is impaired. You may stumble around physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Here are 10 effective ways to ground yourself:

1. Start With Your Breath. Breathe deeply through your diaphragm and gently exhale any tension you might feel, clearing the energy channels of your body. Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Let your abdomen rise and fall as you breathe. This deep breathing signals the body to relax and helps calm your mind and spirit.

2. Meditate. Meditation is probably the most popular grounding technique. Sit or lie comfortably, and then close your eyes. Simply focus your attention on your breath without controlling its pace or intensity. Feel yourself relaxing with each breath. Release all of your worldly concerns, doubts, and fears, allowing them to drift off on the air of the wind, on the breath of life. If your mind wanders, return your focus back to your breath. Maintain this meditation practice for two to three minutes to start, and then try it for longer periods.

3. Play a Drum. Drumming is perhaps the oldest form of active meditation known to humanity. One of the paradoxes of rhythmic stimulation is that it has not only the power to move your awareness out of the confines of the conceptual mind into realms beyond time and space but also the capacity to ground you firmly in the present moment. It allows you to maintain a portion of ordinary awareness while experiencing non-ordinary awareness. This permits full recall later of the visionary experience. 

4. Touch the Earth. Just take off your shoes and socks and get outside. Physically touching or sitting on the Earth has a calming and grounding effect. Nature calms, helps you connect to something larger than yourself, and provides a much-needed break from your busy life.

5. Focus on Your Root Chakra. Close your eyes and focus your attention on the chakra at the base of the spine. The vibratory center located at the base of the spine grounds spiritual forces in the body to the Earth and the physical realm of reality. Visualize this energy center as a red disc of light, about the size of a silver dollar, at the base of your spine.

6. Stand Like a Tree. Stand with your feet parallel, about six inches apart, and your toes aimed straight ahead. Your knees should be slightly bent, removing any strain on your lower back. Rest your hands at your side or place them over your navel. Close your eyes and imagine that you are a tree. Visualize your head as the crown, your body as the trunk, and your feet as the roots. Imagine roots growing out the bottom of your feet, extending deep into the ground beneath you.

7. Walk Mindfully. Mindful walking can be practiced anywhere or anytime. Simply take a walk and be mindful of every sensation you feel. Breathe naturally and fully, deeply filling your lungs with each inhalation, but being careful not to strain in any way. When your attention drifts away from the sensations of walking and breathing, take notice of those thoughts or emotions without judgment and gently direct your awareness back to the present moment, back to the walking.

8. Carry a Grounding Stone. A grounding stone is any small stone that helps make you more reality-oriented and pulls you into the current moment. Black obsidian is a good grounding stone to carry or wear in your aura each day. Black tourmaline is one of the most effective stones, as it works for both spiritual grounding and protection. These crystals are easy to obtain as tumblestones, and easy to put one or more of the grounding stones in your pocket every day.

9. Use Your Voice. Repeat a mantra, chant, or positive affirmation. Hearing your own voice actively gets you out of your own head. Repeating a soothing affirmation powerfully grounds you in reality, by reminding you what’s most important to you.

10. Take a Shower. This is one of my favorite grounding methods. Heat increases blood flow, slows your heart rate, and calms you down gently. I personally find this technique to be very effective. The heat and water pressure from a cleansing, hot shower always grounds me, bringing me back to the here-and-now.

Ways to Self-Soothe

In addition to the traditional ways to self-soothe, such as taking a bath, reading a book, aromatherapy, and etc, here are some other tips to build your self-soothing skills:

1. Create a calm, loving voice inside of you that is unconditionally accepting. It may help to think of a best friend, a co-worker, your therapist, or even someone you met in passing. Imagine their energy and presence, take it into yourself, and think of what they would say about the situation.

2. Physically hug, rub, or wrap yourself with something comfortable (i.e., a soft blanket).

3. Tell yourself, over and over, “You’re going to be okay,” “You’ve been through worse and survived. You’re living proof you’ll get through this,” or “This too shall pass.” 

4. In response to criticism, you can tell yourself, “It’s okay to not be perfect,” “I am good just the way I am,” or “We are all imperfect, and so am I.”

5. Once you feel a little more calm, begin asking yourself what it is you need at this moment. Your needs are important, especially in times of distress. It may be that the little voice inside you says you need to go for a walk, or to hug yourself a little longer, or for you to continue saying comforting words. Whatever it is you need, give yourself that. And if you have trouble hearing your needs, continue to soothe or hug yourself in the midst of your emotions.

6. Remind yourself that everything in life is impermanent. No exceptions. So what you’re going through now will eventually shift and change. Allow yourself to go through the emotions, surfing the waves with the board of your self-compassion. And soon you’ll find yourself somewhere new.

This is your home. Not these four walls painted blue, and not these people who make you laugh, you are your home. This body, whether you love it or not, is going to carry you through life, show it the respect it deserves. You will never have the house they have, for it would not be a home to you. Love what is giving you life, what laughs along with you and feels what your heart is aching for, love how it cares, how it pulls you up and keeps you going. This body is your only true home, stop trying to move away from what you know.
— 

Houses are not home by Amy Kennedy

07/03/17

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how to embrace change
  1. clear your mind: go on a walk or straight to your bedroom. try to rid your mind of thoughts and voices that shout in your head, each begging for attention. when you feel calm and rational, think the situation over.
  2. give yourself a break: some time where you let yourself ( and others around you ) know that you’re dealing with some stuff and you choose to take care of yourself. longer showers, distracting movies & books and other little pleasures like cooking good meals could help you regain a position of balance. spa days can be your best friends. 
  3. realize what you can and can’t control: if there is anythiing you can do, do it. if there are some things you have no power over, quit blaming yourself for them. understand that you have nothing to do about it anymore and that everything will fall into place very soon. let go. 
  4. replace old habits that serve you no use: these habits hold you down and keep you glued to the self you were. but any big change is actually the opening to a new road. the first step is to detox your ritualic methods.
  5. view the bigger picture: look at the “ problem “ and ask yourself what doors does this open? if you lost a job you disliked then you have the opportunity to get your career on the correct path. if you lost a lover, you gained time for your projects, friends, and self growth
  6. take a new look at your wishes: are they the same? if not, adapt your goals to the new you
  7. accept yourself through the transformation process: don’t hate the you that you are in the middle of the transition. always keep your eyes on the self you want to achieve. that better version of yourself needed to be in all these bad and good situations to get there. 

That’s it! Watch my video  for tons of more info on the topic and my quirky personality obvs. Ly!