Self-assessment

  • Autistic person: (diagnoses themselves after years of research, self assessment, and talking to other Autistic people)
  • Society: No. Only a qualified professional can diagnose you with Autism.
  • Autistic person: (goes to a "Qualified Professional")
  • "Qualified Professional": You don't have Autism because you have friends and can make eye contact

The core of my views on trans and nonbinary gender identities could be summed up as follows:

It’s not any of my goddamned business whether someone else identifies as male, female, both, or neither, but I can be certain that they can label themselves more accurately than I or anyone else could label them.  I am not a better judge of someone else’s gender than they themselves are, and I can assure you that you aren’t either.

Trust trans and nonbinary people’s self-assessments of their own genders.  It is really just as simple as that.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I've been a fan of your blog for a long time now, and I would appreciate it if you could answer my question. My oc got taken into a household but two years later a maid from there has made papers to adopt him as her son (At this point he is 15) . My oc is very sensitive and emotional. How should I write this scene and describe his emotions without it getting too cheesy? Thank you!

Hi, dear!  Thanks for your question and your patience <3

That sounds like such a sweet scene!  I love strong family themes – especially adoption, because it sends such a strong message of hope and fresh beginnings.  Those are good sentiments to focus on for this part of your story, and to use thematically with new phrases, new environments, and new plots.  Be sure to make the reader feel like they’re entering into an exciting new chapter of your OC’s life!

Originally posted by mai-fanblog

But you do want to keep it from being melodramatic.  I have a few tips for you to think about…

How to Write Emotional Scenes

  • Don’t try to write too many emotions at once.  Trying to capture the complex thought processes of something like adoption – fear, disbelief, excitement, self-assessment, assessment of potential parent, forming expectations – all at once will be as confusing for the reader as it is for the adoptee.  Instead, try to focus on one or two strong emotions – maybe (1) his disbelief, feeling as though the adoptive parent will change their mind or that this is all a dream; and (2) self-assessment and adjustment, feeling insufficient or adjusting his own behavior to seem polite/perfect/desirable as a potential adoptee.
  • Don’t tell when you can show.  When a character feels a strong emotion, you shouldn’t have to use the word “felt” – you shouldn’t have to over-explain it.  Instead, think of physical and verbal expressions of this emotion.  If a character is afraid, don’t tell us he’s afraid – make him tremble or hug himself.  If a character is happy, let him smile and laugh.  If your character is excited to be adopted, have him show gratefulness, happiness, nervousness.  But don’t say it.
  • Less is more, especially in this kind of scene.  Less dialogue, less setting description, and less setup in general – really just focus on the actions and whatever dialogue is most important.  Keep it poignant and pointed.  Even less seriousness and a little humor can help keep the scene light and not too dramatic.
  • Be honest.  Just think about how you would feel in that situation – and don’t lean too dramatic or too emotionless.  Ask yourself, “Would I really say this in my head?  Would I be this close/distant to someone this quickly?”  Write the scene as best you can, and then later, when you’re not in the heat of the moment, assess your decisions.
  • Get out quick.  Avoid the mundane details or the aftermath of this emotional scene.  Let the characters experience it, then start with something new in the next chapter.  Dwelling on it too long ruins the magic!

That’s all I’ve got for you right now, but if you need more help, you know where to find us!  Thanks again, and good luck :D

– Mod Joanna ♥️


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!

I want to scream,
I want to cry,
I want to let it all out,
Forget everything and start from scratch.
These has been times of reflection,
A self-assessment tied to our mother nature.
Challenging times that makes you question,
Topics that are hardly recognized.
Lost without the proper answers,
Overwhelmed for not knowing where you stand.
You evaluate your surroundings among several situations,
Yet all remains empty without signs of clarity in your mind.
I am starting to believe in curses rather than gifts,
Being over sensitive and empathic weights more than you think,
You start to wonder if you are even part of the breed.
It’s a heavy burden that absorbs everything at its sight.
There aren’t discriminations,
Everything is accepted whether is wrong or right.
Feeling oppressed has become worthless,
At least you know depression is not at your side.
I have asked for forgiveness to remediate any acts,
Even if not granted, you fulfilled your part.
True wisdom always comes with a sacrifice,
Believe in what your guts tells you, and do what’s right.
Acknowledge the present with your feets in the ground,
Keep walking but never forget the past.
Those are constant lessons,
Regardless of how broken you are.
I have learnt a lot in a short time,
Particularly on this road.
By experience I tell you, nothing can be forced.
Evade regrets at all cost,
Forget attempts and do what must be done.
It is fine to live a life most will not understand,
As long as you are good with yourself
You shouldn’t feel down.
Mark my words:
There is always light at dawn,
Just be realistic as night always comes before.
In time the right ones will get close,
Be patient and always hold the following thought:
“You are never alone in this World”.
—  anostalgicpoet 
A quasi-Machiavellian guide to a happy healthy workplace

Look, for those of us who are socially awkward, the only way to Do Social Well is by intention. Unfortunately, our society often conflates Being Social By Intention with manipulativeness, so fine. Here it is. The vaguely manipulative list of tips for happy coworkers and positive interactions. Go forth and intentionally be nice for your own personal gain (and also because Nice is Nice).

Note: by no means do you HAVE to do any of these. These are recommendations and techniques, not rules. Some are more directly social, and some focus on workplace etiquette that will cast a positive light on you.

1. Bond with co-workers by asking about their lives. The simplest! Most people love talking about themselves. If you’re trying to create a social connection with your coworkers (and yes, we’re all aware that having social connections in the workplace helps your career), a great way is to ask about their free time and what they’ve been up to. I know this sounds too basic, but seriously, just occasionally ask about their lives and remember tidbits. Even just a quick hello and a smile in the morning helps. If you’re already doing this, awesome.

2. If you’ve had a negative interaction with a coworker that day, follow up with something positive and casual. All workplaces have conflict, and occasionally you’ll need to disagree with someone, or find yourself looking back on an interaction and realizing it may have been a bit negative. That’s fine! If you’re concerned that something didn’t go well, follow up an hour or two later by complimenting their shirt or asking about their weekend. Everyone knows that this type of social interaction isn’t about the shirt or weekend but is a way of saying you have a workplace relationship and reaffirming it. 

3. When replying to an email chain in different colours, don’t use a red font when you’re angry. I know — it’s so tempting. But by slyly using a calm colour like blue or green, your annoyed replies to the chain will suddenly seem calmer. Ditto goes for the exclamation points, bold, underlines, and emphatic hyperbole; leave them out for the most part. It’s one more small psychological trick to keep you looking level-headed even when you’re telling someone in writing that they’re wrong.

4. An overall positive attitude will make them take you seriously when you’re not positive. It sucks to have to put on a positive attitude when you’re not feeling it, but not only will it help smooth things in the workplace, it will also make coworkers sit up and pay attention when you’re not positive. On the flip side, if you complain frequently, they’ll get used to tuning you out and ignore you when it’s really important. Just self-monitor and assess whether the complaint is bonding, necessary self expression, or just saying something for the sake of saying something. The latter can be left out.

5. Acknowledge the successes of others and give credit where it’s due. Whether you’re talking to your boss or your coworkers, if you’re an honest person who lifts up others in the workplace and gives credit where it’s due, you’ll be seen as someone with integrity. If you have an eye on management, this is especially important, and something a good boss is actively looking for. Not only that, but it will contribute to a positive work environment. Win all around!

6. Maturely acknowledge your mistakes… when necessary. You don’t want to go around constantly telling people you screwed up, but a mature concession that something is your fault once in a while will also show that you have integrity. Strategically used, this is especially great because people then know that if there’s a big screw-up and you say it’s not your fault, you’re being honest.

7. Don’t get too involved in a coworker’s personal life/politics. This isn’t to say you can’t make friends at work, just that you should choose wisely. When carrying out tip #1 it can be tempting to get really personal or start talking politics if a coworker starts steering the conversation in that direction… but in the long run, getting into personal lives in the workplace is risky and can cause a lot of tension if stuff goes badly. Keep it light, don’t go into politics or drama. 

8. If something’s gone wrong, strike “you” from your vocabulary. If you’re talking about a problem — to a coworker, boss, or client — the passive voice is your friend. People have a tendency to hear “you” as accusatory, even if that isn’t your intention. An email that says “The file we received did not include section” is better than “You didn’t send us that section” or even “The email you sent didn’t include that section”.

9. On the flip side, if it’s good, make it about them. “We really appreciated your email” is stronger than “This email was appreciated”. “Your team would benefit from my experience in this field” is better than “I am experienced in this field”.

10. Pay attention to how often you interrupt coworkers. Interruption is part of the natural flow of conversation and not always a bad thing, but it’s important to pay attention to who we’re interrupting, when, and how often. For example, studies show men interrupt women more frequently, so if you’re a guy, it’s worth biting back the urge to add your say and waiting until a coworker is finished their piece. This small action can really improve workplace relations.

11. Employ the one-two punch. If you have something negative that needs to be said, follow it or preface it with something good. This works especially well in emails: thank them or compliment them on something, then bring up the issues (or the other ay around if that’s better). This keeps your work emails more emotionally neutral and makes it harder for people to dismiss you out of hand.

12. Don’t gossip.  Again, gossip can be a habit that’s easy to fall into when trying to follow tip #1. The difference between regular small talk and gossip is that gossip shines a negative light on people or shares unnecessary things about their personal lives. Remember #7: don’t get too personal. While it’s great to share positive things about a coworker, boss, or client, negative talk should be reserved for when you’re trying to solve an issue.

13. Don’t send that angry email just yet. It’s okay to feel it. It’s okay to write it. Take a step back and let yourself cool off, then send a fabulously well-planned email using the above points. It’s much more satisfying to both get your way and be seen as a paragon of virtue, anyway. And if you do trip up and send that angry email — see tip #2.

14. Everyone is too busy. The clearer your emails are, the more likely they are to be understood and responded to. Writing emails to bosses, coworkers, and clients is always a challenge, and half the time they don’t respond with what you need anyway. I could write a whole post about how to get people to respond appropriately to your emails, but it boils down to three tips: a) keep it short and simple, including short sentences and using bullet points where necessary; b) try to keep emails to one or two main questions/things you need from someone; and c) end with a prompt for reply, like “When can we expect this?” or “Does that work for you?” (If you’re wondering why this tip is included, it’s because clearer email communication creates a happier and healthier workplace.)

15. If you’re having a problem with someone, calmly discuss it with them first. I know; it’s hard. But if you’re trying to be seen as a positive employee with integrity, it’s essential to talk with coworkers when there’s an issue. Just calmly state the issue in a non-accusatory way (see tip #8) and what effect it’s having. If there are multiple problems, choose one and focus on it; no one likes a laundry list of things they’re doing wrong. That should be reserved for special circumstances.

16. One problem, two solutions. Problems always arise. Instead of just saying “here’s the problem and I can’t do more work until we fix it”, try offering them a choice of two different solutions. This will make things move faster, make everyone happier, and give you a reputation for being a problem-solver. It will also allow you to guide things in the direction you want (after all, you’re the one coming up with these solutions). People sometimes use problems to avoid doing their work, so being a solutions person will also make your coworkers feel you’re doing your fair share.

17. Eventually, your internal opinion of someone will always become clear. We all like to think we can keep our opinions to ourselves, but if we let ourselves think of someone as an idiot, it will always eventually be reflected in our actions and tone. Try to find something positive in your coworkers, bosses, and clients. If you can’t find anything at all to mitigate your negative opinion, then you might want to try finding a different workplace.

At the end of the day, two things are true: one, that people who get on well in the workplace tend to do better in their careers — and two, that not everyone can be effortlessly social. For some of us, it takes effort. I hope this helps!

Little Kylux things I get emotional about at night

Hux and Kylo are rivals, and although I love their hatefuck-proneness as much as the next guy, rewatching the movie again (and again, and again) I became obsessed with the thought that their resentment might be pretty fucking recent, and that despite everything, Kylo trusts the shit out of Hux. Emotinal and biased meta under the cut.

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anonymous asked:

How important is it to have official diagnoses? I am older (and a woman), which means that getting diagnoses early in life was highly likely. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but I have not been diagnosed with autism or ADD, which I believe is very likely and has been confirmed on several online tests. I'd love to know if you think that diagnoses are instrumental or are not necessary and why.

Important? Well, that’s very contextual. A clinical diagnosis can harm you, for example, if you end up in a custody hearing with your spouse. Or if you are an expat now living in a country with socialized healthcare.

A clinical diagnosis can help you if you need access to clinical services like occupational therapy, mental health therapy, or in the case of ADHD (which now includes ADD) access to highly restricted medications.

If you want what little protections are offered by laws like the ADA here in the US, then a clinical diagnosis is also necessary.

Finally, if you need a clinical diagnosis for peace of mind, I would call that necessary as well. If you are not confident in your own self assessment and would like an outside perspective, a clinical diagnosis can be helpful.

If all you need is self exploration, self identification, and community support, then self diagnosis is all you need.

I think clinical diagnosis is instrumental to those people who needs it, and not worth the paper it is printed on, otherwise.

In my own case, I avoided a clinical diagnosis until it became apparent that it would improve my life, rather than add nothing. Specifically, I was thinking about returning to school for my sociology degree, and wanted accommodations. It also corrected a previous misdiagnosis of “in need of discipline” to ADHD-PI (formerly ADD), which gave me access to the medication I am now on.

Ohtaka’s Backstage vol.357:

“The image is the volume 35 store-exclusive paper. It’s a character self-assessment and comments from other characters on it. It’s text-heavy and the letters are small, but I’ll be glad if you enjoy it.

I was busy moving and couldn’t update the backstage blog. I apologize for it. I hope you enjoy Magi this week.”

Paper preview: 

 Hakuryuu: I’m Hakuryuu. I survived despite the harsh environment I was living in. 

 Self-Assessment: 65/100

 Future prospect: 3/5, Mental Strength: 5/5, Face score: 5/5, Sense of humor: 1/5, Kindness: 1/5 

 Aladdin: he irritates me, but it’s fun being with him.

Morgiana: Hakuryuu is kind.

#TuesdayTruth

5 Ways Knowledge of Self Will Make Your Life Easier

1. Relationships - when you know yourself you know exactly what you’re looking for from romantic relationships, friendships and any interactions that involve others. You know when to remove yourself when these relationships are no longer serving you and when to look for new ones.

2. Career - knowledge of self allows you to assess what you would like to achieve with the time you have on the planet. This will help you decide what career path will be the one that will help you to achieve your goals - whether they be financial or experience based.

3. Power - knowing who we are and what we came here to do gives us a deeper connection to the path we’re walking. Rather than seeing life as happening to us - we see that we have the power to create the reality we experience and adjust our behaviour & beliefs to create one we love.

4. Trust - you’ll realise why certain things had to happen and why they were necessary for your journey. Your trust in the universe will grow as you gain a deeper understanding of yourself - instead of saying “why me?” you can adopt the perspective of “try me!”.

5. Law of attraction - knowing yourself reveals exactly what you want, which makes setting your intention for manifestations easier. There will be less conflict inside you when deciding what you want to attract into your life - which makes the whole process of acquiring it easier. 

You can gain knowledge of self by spending time with yourself - go into nature and listen to your self-talk. Meditations can help - but this is not limited to sitting with your eyes closed “not thinking”. Meditations are time spent being present with yourself - use this time to understand who and what you are.

Knowledge is power.

Peace & positive vibes.

Got a specific problem you need help with? Add me on Skype for a free consultation - spoonofconsciousness@gmail.com :)

alright alright alright let’s talk about the parallels between viktor and yuuri. something i’ve been thinking about an awful lot lately is that viktor… was actually a really late bloomer? he’s coming out the other end of a five-year consecutive winning streak, so that would’ve started at the GPF when he was 22. i’ve no doubt he medalled a lot before then, but this is when viktor “living legend” nikiforov truly began. and don’t forget that yuuri’s inconsistency reminds viktor of himself, which means there was definitely a time when viktor was inconsistent. similarly, yuuri’s first GPF was when he was 22. (don’t sell me the “but he lost” line, because he still got there.) viktor may have started winning a lot younger, but yuuri couldn’t exactly have gotten where he is by losing every time, could he? i mean, we have no idea what yuuri’s career has looked like. he talks it down as his “dark past,” but i think by now we all know to take yuuri’s self-assessment with a grain of salt. they’re both former young prodigies who came into their own at 22. amazing.

and another thing! viktor heavily implies he’s spent the last 20 years without a life outside skating, which means he started training at 7. that is young. viktor is often described as a “genius” when it comes to the sport, which i think he is, but i’m also a bit of a fan of the “ten thousand hours” theory of genius, which roughly boils down to, when you devote an excessive amount of time to improving your skill at something, there’s no way you can’t be a genius at it. i’ve no doubt that the moment viktor stepped onto the ice everyone around him knew he was a natural, but there is a certain level of talent you can’t achieve without hard work. look at yuuri: we’re told he was never a natural, but he had more free time than anyone else to train. yuuri is an example of how much hard work can pay off, and a lot of sports anime plays on that with hard work vs natural talent narratives, but yoi avoids that, big-time, by making it super clear that viktor has worked hard to be where he is, to the extent that he’s sacrificed his own happiness. (similarly, yuri p. is also shown to work himself to his limits even though he and yuuri k. are initially set up as a more archetypal hard work vs talent narrative. but that’s a different meta post.)

anyway, the point of all of this is that viktor and yuuri parallel each other very nicely yet again as showing two different faces of hard work breeding talent: viktor started young, and yuuri put in an above average amount of time. combined with the fact that their career trajectories already parallel each other, and that viktor hints in episode 12 at the idea of yuuri becoming a five-time world champion (foreshadowing? haha), my hot take on all of this is that the core of yuuri’s narrative arc is not only about meeting his idol. it is about becoming his idol. yuuri katsuki is the next viktor nikiforov. it doesn’t matter if yuuri never matches viktor’s winning streak, or if yuri p. continues to dominate as the world number one and breaks yuuri’s world record within a couple of years; this is a more spiritual inheritance, that viktor has always been the top older skater that people have looked up to and pinned to their bedroom walls, and now, that’s going to be yuuri, a living legend.

gloomyprincess  asked:

How do you tell the difference between a Ti-dom and a Te-dom?

Uh, watch Sherlock and Mycroft interact?

Sherlock (ISTP) is all about intellectual puzzles, logical complexities, and mental games for their own sake; he enjoys an intellectual challenge, seeks consistency in his theories, and craves logical precision. This is all counter-balanced by poor Fe usage, though he develops it through the series – the need for attention, the childish feuding he has with his brother, the frequent emotional outbursts under stress, correcting people just to prove he’s the smartest brain in the room, etc.

Mycroft (ESTJ) is all about control, action, and doing something tangible with logic. He finds Sherlock’s mind games baffling, because to him, it seems a ‘poor use’ of an ‘incredible mind.’ Mycroft runs the government. He channels all his intellectual prowess into keeping England safe, into establishing spy networks, into handing out tasks to his subordinates, and in to trying to keep Sherlock from negative downward spirals. He does not care about the WHY (the constant scream of Ti) so much as the WHAT. HOW does this work? How can I use it? What can I accomplish with it? His emotions are also childish, as his inferior; but they manifest in awkward, internal ways . He cares way more than he lets on. When pressured, like all Fi’s, he digs in his heels and refuses to budge. He has zero need for others to ‘see him as intelligent’ (unlike Sherlock) because he knows he is intelligent, and all that matters to him is that self-assessment (Fi).

There’s a lot more about Te / Ti in the archives. And this tag.

- ENFP Mod

“Honesty is a bad habit of mine”: Jean’s Honesty in Attack on Titan, Part 1

So a partial draft of this has been sitting in my documents for a few weeks now, but today feels like a relatively timely moment to post it because of two things that have happened recently: Jean’s character song “Rusty Honesty” has been released and—as @imperfecteclipse informed me!— last Sunday was apparently national honesty day! So let’s talk about Jean’s most defining trait!

Jean’s attempt to persuade Armin and Reiner to assist him in stalling the Female Titan, Chapter 23.

In an interview published with the first volume of Attack on Titan in English, Isayama states that Jean is his favorite character in the series because, “Jean comes right out and says what he’s thinking, even if it’s something you normally couldn’t say. That’s what I like about him.” However, many characters within the manga don’t find Jean’s forthrightness quite as endearing. Shadis, for instance, compares Jean’s personality to “a drawn sword, which tends to create conflict” (chapter 18) and Jean himself calls honesty his “bad habit” (chapter 15). It’s a personality trait—or perhaps we should say personality commitment—with consequences, often putting him at odds with others because his observations make them uncomfortable.

What I find fascinating about Attack on Titan is that Jean is never, at any point of the narrative, asked to totally give up this “bad habit”: instead, his honesty—which often takes the form of dissent—is presented as a potential asset, particularly to his development as a future leader within the Corps. In the early chapters, his honesty gives way to cynical defeatism and apathy, but over time he develops it into a tool of productive critique. He never quite assimilates comfortably into the Survey Corps, working instead to keep them on their toes. He reminds both the Survey Corps and the reader of the stakes involved in fighting the titans, wondering what it means to achieve “the greater good” at such high costs.  

It’s a trait that, when used to actively question the world order rather than just passively observe it, makes Jean dangerous. And I’ve decided to talk about it in two parts, because pulling it apart and looking at in depth has proven to be quite an undertaking, haha. This part will focus on Jean’s honesty in the early narrative (and what he means when he terms himself an honest man) and part two will explore how it assists his development as a leader up through the Return to Shiganshina arc.

As is the case with pretty much all of my Jean metas, this reading of his role in the series is entirely dependent on the manga. As I have argued here, the anime’s characterization of Jean is quite different, which significantly alters his role in the narrative.

More under the cut!

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