Secret-Eaters

Slytherins truly being slytherins. 

Slytherins working with Dumbledore’s Army. They spread false rumors about where they’ve sighted students. They join Umbridge’s close circle so that they can learn the moves and plans of the Inquisitorial Squad so that they can warn the DA of when it’s safe to hold practice. They rotate in shifts, some lead the IS on a wild goose chase while their housemates practice with the rest of the army. Sometimes they charm their robes to look like another houses and lead the IS far away from the Room of Requirement as they can before turning a corner and de-charming their robes. They make up stories about chasing students who mysteriously disappear without a trace. Umbridge sends students to search areas of the castle nowhere near the actual Room of Requirement.  

As Umbridge tightens her hold on the school, slytherin students try to protect their DA friends. They pass messages of encouragement and support to their friends, veiled in threats and taunts. They bully the loudest, but do the least damage; their housemates think that they’re being cruel, their friends know that they’re shielding them from actual harm. 

Slytherin students passing information to the Order while the Golden Trio is hunting for horcruxes, tracking the moves of Death Eaters to the best of their ability. They withstand the dark days in Hogwarts, helping their friends the best they can without looking suspicious. Charmed plastic rats run through the castle hallway, passing messages between the houses. Children of Death Eaters eavesdrop in dark hallways of their homes, holding their breath and straining their ears. When slytherin students suddenly disappear, go home and don’t come back, everyone knew what had happened. They mourned privately and quietly. 

DA members and the Order housing slytherin students who can’t go home. Many have to run away, for their own safety. As Voldemort grew in power, it was harder and harder to keep their true intentions a secret. Children of Death Eaters were being pressured to take the Dark Mark, were being drafted to fight for Voldemort, were being told that their friends deserved to die. The students that said no were threatened with death or kicked out of their homes, branded as disgraced traitors. Those who couldn’t stand up to their families slipped away in the night. Some died, at the hands of Death Eaters, at the hands of their own parents.

Slytherin students fighting during the final battle at Hogwarts, standing up against family and friends to protect their home. Staring across the courtyard at their mothers, fathers, siblings, childhood friends. People screaming at them; ‘blood traitors’ ringing through the air of the courtyard, hurled at slytherins who had their shoulders squared and their chins up. Slytherins having to throw charms and jinxes and curses at familiar faces, people they had trusted. Slytherin students killing their loved ones, being given no other choice. Slytherin students dying while standing up for what they believe in. 

Slytherin students being more than a stereotype. Slytherins being more than one dimensional villains. Slytherin students being shown as diverse, fully developed characters with a variety of motivations and beliefs. Slytherins being slytherins; proud, ambitious, and cunning. And proving that those things don’t mean being evil. 

when ppl make fun of british food they immediately point at beans on toast but have u seen other shit they eat??

they have this ‘chip butty’ thing, its literally fries inbetween two pieces of bread; a french fry sandwich

Slytherin students acting as spies in their own homes. Creeping down hallways and waiting outside doors. Pressing their ears against the wood and listening hard, catching as much as they could. They pass this information through well hidden notes in library books. Never with a name or signature, never directly addressed to anyone. No trails. No clues. Hermione received the first one in a book slipped into her bag. It was a simple list of other books, not suspicious in the least. Mostly rare books on obscure topics. The only indication that this was even meant for her was a small sentence at the bottom of the page. For DA . She searched for the other books immediately, finding more notes. All coded, and took time to figure out, but she was positive they were secrets of the Death Eaters. Each code had the name of another obscure book. She wondered who had sent them, had her suspicion that it was slytherin students. Who else could it be? She didn’t pry or dig though. She knew the risk that these students were taking, in some cases even more dangerous than the ones she was. Each time a slytherin student disappeared, went home and never came back, she wondered if that had been one of them. The notes keep appearing though. Students still disappeared.

fred and george send howlers to each other with copypastas inside

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you golden snitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Wizard Cops, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Death Eaters, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top spellcaster in the entire Wizard Cops. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Wizternet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the wizarding world and your location is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in duels, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Super Elite Wizard Cops and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.”

Your weekend entertainment! (you're welcome)

Do you enjoy watching shows about food, fitness and overall healthy living? 

Shows like;

-Supersize vs superskinny

 and Secret eaters

Well, I do! And until now, living in Canada, it has been very hard to find places to watch these (all airing in the UK). Well….

                         ErmmTV has tons of full episodes on YouTube!!!

                                                          Yay! 

I have this weird addiction to diet programmes.
Secret eaters,
Supersize vs Superskinny,
My Big Fat Diet Show,
You Are What You Eat.
It’s getting weird, my mum thinks I have an eating disorder because I don’t eat a lot but I watch all these food programmes.
It just really amuses me to watch people lie to themselves about their diet. Honestly you don’t get to 36 stone by only having a coke and a chocolate bar everyday.
I just really like them.

My 63 year old mum wrote a letter to her doctor after a recent physical that she asked if I would be willing to share online. It is regarding the experience of being overweight and how doctors, and the world at large, treat you when you are. It’s a bit lengthy, but please give it a read if you have the time!

Keep reading

How is Secret Eaters a legal TV show it’s complete fucking bile

They’ve got these overweight people and they video them 24/7, then show them their lardy breakfasts with a little to-the-calorie counter ticking off however much they’ve had in that little meal, then they fucking guilt-trip them with their sodding partner before that one goes over /their/ footage and the same sodding ordeal, while the voiceover of a woman in a wig with a flimsy blouse sexily, sarcily says choice quotes like “mindless eating” and “you can’t blame the menopause forever!”

Then, not happy with recording people who have consented to it, they go to a greasy spoon and video builders with their faces scrobbled out

And back to the overweight couple in their fifties who are wiping tears from their chubby cheeks and promising to do whatever the pretty woman says, fucking apologising to this presenter who they don’t even sodding know

These programs just make me really fucking sad.

Safe Pro Ana Tips and Tricks

1. Drink as much water as you can.

2. When you eat, think about every bite.
3. Don’t be afraid to be near food.
4. If you are served a plate, leave most of it untouched and only eat a little.
5. Never eat alone, those are wasted calories.
6. Don’t act nervous or uncomfortable if someone talks about weight in front of you.
7. Give dummy dieting tips if the topic of diets comes up.
8. Eat salad first, without dressing, then say you feel full and don’t want more.
9. Vegan foods often have less calorie dense ingredients. Be vegan.
10. Watch shows like Secret Eaters and Supersize Vs. Superskinny when you are bored.
11. Make a list of  100 things to do besides eat.
12. Go to sleep early. Get at least 9 hours of sleep.
13. Set a time you will stop eating at night and one you won’t eat before in the morning.
14. Consider the time between meals to be like fasting time. Nothing enters your mouth, not the tiniest bite.
15. Wait at least 15 seconds between bites.
16. Start drinking tea or coffee (black is better but with milk is okay).
17. If you take birth control, do it in the morning and tell co-workers or friends it makes your stomach weird so you don’t eat breakfast.
18. Make a Memo on your phone of tips, thinspo quotes, and even thinspo pics to look through and add to when you’re bored.
19. Download phone/iPod/tablet games to play and distract you.
20. Never be free. When you are always busy, you don’t notice hunger.
21. Take plenty of time to plan out your meals, even for three or more days ahead of time.
22. Have clothes which are a few sizes too small to try on and see where you are losing your weight.
23. When exercising, avoid boring, repetitive routines. You burn more calories if you have to be aware of what you’re doing instead of mindlessly doing the same movement.
Snape’s Daughter and Fred

Request: “Hi! I only started following you and I think your writing is amazing! Could you do ome where your the daughter of Snape and really close with the Weasly familly, Hermione and Harry. You start dating Fred and your dad finds out. Thanks so much❤❤”

Just realised that I’m not good at following requests, I always go off on a bit of a tangent and forget some of the request requirements! Sorry she wasn’t already close with the Trio and family, I brainstormed for a few hours and the idea slowly changed!

——————————————————————————————————

You had a secret: you were Professor Snape’s dad. He wasn’t as vile as everyone made him out to be, he was actually a really loving Dad. Being a professor at Hogwarts since you were three years old, meaning he didn’t get to spend as much time with you as he would’ve liked. Now that your Hogwarts letter had arrived, he was able to see you throughout the year: something he hadn’t been able to do for 8 years.

Before you left the house to get on the Hogwarts Express for the first time, your Dad had told you that you must keep it a secret that you were his daughter,

“I don’t want to see you being bullied for having myself for a father,” he had said sadly.

Skipping forward to your Sorting, you were put into Gryffindor house, much to your father’s shock. He loved you regardless of your house and you knew that, so it didn’t have a great impact.

Being a Gryffindor, you grew close to the Weasley’s, in particular Fred. With his friends he was loud, hilarious and energetic, also being very flirty with you when others were around to show them that you were his. When you two were alone, he was gentle and caring, and rather than being flirty, he was sweet and gave you the most beautiful of compliments.

You had been dating for almost a year and a half, and you still hadn’t told him Snape was your Dad. Everyone in Gryffindor, including him, would always comment on how horrible and greasy your Dad was, and you found it difficult to deal with. You would often leave to be alone, but you knew you had to put on a brave face and ignore it, just like your Dad had told you to in your first year…

—— Flachback ——

“I don’t want you to worry about me, Y/n, do you understand?” your Dad had told you one night when you were crying about what they were saying, “I don’t want you to worry about—”

“But Dad it’s not fair, they shouldn’t be so horrible to you!” you protested, and surprisingly your Dad chuckled,

“I’m just as horrible to them as they are to me, don’t you worry,” he smiled, and you looked at him confused,

“I’m the Head of Slytherin, and everyone in the school loathes the children in my house, including the other professor’s,” he had said, “they need a teacher to support them and to look up to, because clearly no other teacher will. I’m harsh on the other houses — including yours, because no other teacher gives Slytherin’s respect, and favours the other three houses. If I don’t favour them, who will? They’re subjected to bullying because of who they are — because of a dusty old hat putting them into a certain house.”

You remember looking at your Dad with admiration, understanding why he treated the houses the way he did,

“I was a Slytherin back in the day, and I remember how isolated I felt when professors would pick on me because I was in Slytherin,” he had said, “I vowed that when I would someday become a teacher, I would be the professor that Slytherin’s could feel safe around. There were a group of Gryffindor’s in my year, who would humiliate me and bully me, and do you know what the teacher’s did? Nothing.

“I don’t expect students in the other houses to understand — in fact, I expect them to hate me back, because that’s just how it is, Y/n. If that’s what it takes for an entire quarter of the school to finally feel safe, then so be it,”

——End of Flashback. ——

This was why Fred still had no ides that you were actually Y/n Snape, since you went by your middle name to avoid the speculation.

Your boyfriend loved you immensely, and you knew he wouldn’t care who your Dad was, but you just weren’t ready, not yet.

———

Now, you were headed to a secret location called Grimmauld Place, a hidden house belonging to a man your Dad hated, Sirius Black. You were going because your Dad wanted to inform you of what he does besides teaching, now that you had come of age.

“Severus, good to see you,” a man named Arthur greeted, shaking your Dad’s hand, “and who might this lovely young lady be?”

“This is my Daughter, Y/n, I believe she’s in the same year as two of your sons—“

“Y/N?!” you hear an all-too-familiar voice yell from upstairs. Without you knowing, your boyfriend, Fred, along with George, Harry, Hermione and Ron were all upstairs, listening through the extendible ear on what was happening in the kitchen.

You and your Dad shared a look of panic, before the door burst open to reveal a confused and annoyed Fred, followed by the other three, trying to stop him.

“I was under the impression that these children would not be present,” your Dad said angrily to Arthur,

“They shouldn’t be!” Molly replied, directing her anger to the four teenagers in the doorway, “What do you think you are—“

“Snape is your Dad?!” Fred asked loudly, not believing it.

“What’s it to to you, Weasley?” your Dad seethed,

“What how you speak to my son—” Arthur said,

“She’s my girlfriend!” Fred replied.

The whole room went quiet, all eyes now on you,

“He’s what?” your Dad asked through clenched teeth,

“Why didn’t you tell me?” they both asked at the same time, before you pushed past everyone and ran upstairs, crying.

——

You sat on one of the beds on the top floor and cried. Oh God, what a mess. You were thinking of ways to fix the solution, but there was nothing you could do. You had lied to your boyfriend, and you had lied to your Dad.

Click here to read the Downstairs conversation

Before you could think of a good plan to fix things, the door creeped open slowly, Fred peering around the corner,

“Fred, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, it’s just that—“

“Y/n, don’t be sorry,” your boyfriend said quietly as he sat next to you on the bed, wrapping an arm around you. Why wasn’t he mad?

“I should be the one apologising, the way I’ve been talking about your Dad all these years, no wonder you wouldn’t want to tell me,” he said sadly, feeling ashamed of himself. He put his free hand on your cheek and wiped the tears away with his thumb, kissing you lightly on the forehead,

“You don’t need to worry, Fred,” you say, putting your hand on top of his, still on your cheek, “Dad knows he isn’t popular with the other houses. Speaking of which, how is he?” you ask nervously,

“You know what? Not too pissed actually,” Fred answers, looking rather surprised. “The ear’s still in the kitchen if you want to have a listen,” he says with a grin, standing up and leading you out the doorway.

—— Through the ear ——

“Ah, young love,” you could hear Dumbledore saying, “a truly remarkable thing,”

“She seems like a charming young woman, Severus,” Molly says sweetly,

Fred grabs your hand and squeezes it, giving you a big smile,

“Seventeen years and you never told us you had such a beautiful daughter! Tonks added, “If she were my daughter, I’d be telling the world!”

“I’m not sure which one she’s dating…” you could hear your Dad saying slowly, seeming to still be taking it in, “but if he makes her happy, that’s all that matters.”

“They do make a fine couple, don’t they,” Remus says, “I’m sure he’ll take good care of her.”

Then, you heard footsteps coming towards the door. You and Fred quickly wind up the extendable ear and step away from sight,

“Y/n, the meeting’s starting now,” your Dad called out,

“Coming!” you reply before giving your boyfriend a quick kiss and heading down stairs.

Once you were there, you all sat down and began talking about what was called the Order of the Phoenix. You learnt about your Dad’s secrets, including his secret meetings with Death Eaters. You already knew about this, since your Dad had already told you the story, so that the rumours about him as a Death Eater wouldn’t shock you.

You learn more about the Order and its purpose, also being told not to breathe a word to the others. The members of the Order were very polite to you and were happy to answer any questions you had.

During the meeting, Sirius quietly says to your Dad from his other side, “As much as I hate to admit it, Severus, you’ve raised a fine young woman, you should be very proud.”