Scrum Down

They watched Salazar sleeping in the patch of sun, the peaceful and steady rise and fall of his breathing. Scrum smirked as he downed more whiskey.

“Big ol cats…how did I ever fear them?”

“Because they can be damn terrifying, mate….never forget the danger. Those claws can tear through metal, and that set of teeth can remove half your throat.”

Jack sat by Scrum, who now rubbed his own throat at the thought.

“But we have the tools to keep him in line, and he can be a sweet thing, even when he isn’t missing memories. Especially when it comes to Gui….”

“I can hear you, pendejos….”

The pirates snicker and Mando opens an eye to stare hungrily. Scrum shifts in his seat, looking to Jack.

“If you want any apples, quit regarding us like we’re a walking feast.”

“Pero, you are….this whole ship is a feast….”

Jack snorts.

“Alright then, no apples or honey cakes for you! For a week!”

The vampire makes a sound like a crocodile.

“You are a cruel man, Sparrow!”

“Not any more so than you!”

Salazar huffs and crosses his arms.

“Touche, pirate….touche….”

He pouts for a week, moping and grousing; laying across walking paths, knocking things over, and shredding clothes and furniture. Hector makes sure to eat the best apples in front of the vampire.

Salazar tries another approach, acting as cute as he can, eyes dewy and wide as he purrs. Hector is unmoved.

“That might work on Henry, but not a salty sea dog like myself!”

Scrum drops down on Salazar’s back, and jabs the wooden stick into his shoulder. The vampire roars and tries to dislodge him, snapping and clawing. Henry and Carina shout at their friend, who is clinging for dear life.


Salazar is snarling and jumping around, reaching for the pirate. Scrum wails and jabs the stick but it hits Mando in the mouth, getting stuck. The vampire scrabbles at the wood, becoming more exhausted. He falls to his knees, managing to pull it free before collapsing, Scrum still in place.

“30 minutes riding the beastie! New record!”

Salazar growls into the dirt. Scrum is tired but triumphant. He pats the vampire’s head, grinning.

“Showed you who is boss!”

A particularly loud hiss scares him off Mando.