Scotland-Rugby

Kickers and their methods
  • Greig Laidlaw:[makes eyes at the posts]
  • Jules Plisson:[makes puppy eyes at the posts]
  • Owen Farrell:[makes weird eyes at the posts]
  • Johnny Sexton:[plays mind games with the posts]
  • Dan Biggar:[dances for the posts]
  • Sergio Parisse:[is unaware the posts exist]
The Essential RWC fan guide...

1. Representation

If you are invading foreign shores this RWC, remember you are a guest and are representing your country, so remember to do it with pride and don’t make a holy show of us enforcing national stereotypes … ‘,:)

2. Know your enemy:

Rivalries, we’ve all got them. It’s your job as fan to know who your team hates the most. So if you’re Ireland, it’s England. If you’re from Wales, it’s England. If you’re from Scotland… it’s England. France? England. Or if you so happen to be from planet Earth … it’s probably still England (sorry guys).

Or alternatively you could be from England, in that case your rivalry … is wiiiith … England?

3. Get jiggy with it:

Dances are an integral part of world rugby - and I’m not talking about Argentine Tango’s. War dances, baby. So be sure not to confuse your Cibi’s and your Haka’s.

Sipi Tau - Tonga

Cibi - Fiji

Siva Tau - Samoa

Haka - New Zealand

4. Fake it till you make it:

Reminisce about iconic moments you may or may not have been alive to remember, that’s what google’s for, right?

i) When Mandela handed the trophy to Francois Pienaar, the Saffa captain in 1995. A significant moment in world history, never mind rugby.

ii) When the French Team stared down the Haka in the 2007 RWC (see video above)

iii) When Wilko scored the world cup winning drop goal in 2003.

iv) When Fez decided he wanted a Genia rag doll for christmas

v) When the Pumas broke Irish hearts and steamrolled their way to a Semi-Final in 2007

5. Forget your friends and family, you’re otherwise busy for until October 31st

6.  Epithet

If players have a nickname in the squad, then don’t be caught dead using their real name. Here’s a few to get ya started.

  • Cian Healy - Church (aka DJ church, stage name)
  • Billy Twelvetrees - 36 (supposedly given to him by Geordan Murphy, because in Ireland, twelve 3′s is 36)
  • Thierry Dusautoir - The Dark Destroy (or sometimes the black death)
  • Luke Fitzgerald - Pivot
  • Tendai Mtawarira - The Beast

7. Representation - part 2

Whether you’re travelling or staying at home for the duration of the tourney, be you have enough rugby swag to do you for the month because you just never know.

8. Choose your poison

Because, as I said you never know; you may need to celebrate or drown your sorrows, but be sure to be patriotic about it.

Preferably, I’d be more inclined to go with something softer myself… ;)

9. And Finally, know that schedule inside out!