fun facts about the signs that ppl usually dont know bc of their disgusting stereotypes
  • aries:they're actually really romantic and mushy
  • taurus:they're v adventurous and likes to do exciting things
  • gemini:their main goal in life is find their soulmate
  • cancer:they're big party animals
  • leo:theyre really nice when they meet new people and they love to compliment people aswell
  • virgo:they love to laugh and are actually pretty easily entertained
  • libra:they learn really easily and are super smart
  • scorpio:they dont care if they make a fool of themselves in front of people or not
  • sagittarius:can actually be pretty shy in front of people they dont know
  • capricorn:theyre very kind and like to make people happy and help them out
  • aquarius:theyre some of the most popular people. not at all antisocial, idek where that came from
  • pisces:can be really mean and sassy if youre rude or disrespectful to them
The signs as dog thoughts
  • Aries:MUST PLAY. PLAY NOW OWNER. PLAY WITH ME. PLAY. PLAY. PLAY WITH ME. MUST PLAY. PLAY MUST.
  • Taurus:TREAT? TREAT?? TREAT? TREAT!! GIVE ME THE TREAT. T R E A T T T T T
  • Gemini:hooman u are so kind to pet me u are my bes- BRB MUST GET THE RUNNING THING
  • Cancer:PET ME OWNER. PET. PET ME. ME PET. PET NOW PLS PET.
  • Leo:TAIL TAIL TAIL TAIL TAIL TAIL. MUST GET. TAIL TAIL TAIL TAIL
  • Virgo:PARK YAY OWNER SAID PARK PARK PARK YAYY!! Wait this is the vet. OWNER NOOOOOOO
  • Libra:FOOD? FOOD I SMELL. FOOD. WHERE FOO
  • Scorpio:MUST HUMP EVERYTHING. HUMP HUMP HUMP
  • Sagittarius:BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL
  • Capricorn:TUG TUG TUG TUG. I DONT EVEN WANT THE TOY ILL JUST RIP IT IN HALF. TUG TUG TUG. MUST. WIN.
  • Aquarius:FRIEND DOG! DOG FRIEND PLAY LET ME SNIFF YOUR BUTT. DOG!! FRIEND!!! PLAY FRIEND
  • Pisces:MUST NAP. NAP MUST.
The signs and their turnons/turnoffs
  • Aries:
  • A good sense of humour
  • Stupidity
  • Taurus:
  • Romantic gestures (flowers)
  • Overly demanding partners
  • Gemini:
  • Active and sporty
  • DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES.....EVER
  • Cancer:
  • Giving them lots of attention
  • Ignoring/Patronising them
  • Leo:
  • Trustworthy people
  • Liars
  • Virgo:
  • Good listener
  • Bad hygiene
  • Libra:
  • Complimentary people
  • Don't criticise them
  • Scorpio:
  • Show them a little skin
  • Don't tease them
  • Sagittarius:
  • Positivity
  • Laziness
  • Capricorn:
  • People who embrace everything with an open heart
  • "Fake" people
  • Aquarius:
  • Deep thinkers
  • Never say "no" to something they offered to do with you
  • Pisces:
  • Soft-spoken people
  • Narrow-minded people
CRY BABY

ARIES: Tag, You’re it // Grab my hand, push me down, took the words right out my mouth

TAURUS: Where Do Babies Come From? // What a lovely little mess I made. I throw milk on the walls in rage.

GEMINI: Soap // Uh oh, there it goes. I said too much, it overflowed. Why do I always spill?

CANCER: Training Wheels // I wanna ride my bike with you. Fully undressed, no training wheels for you. I’ll pull them off for you.

LEO: Pity Party // I’ll cry until the candles burn down this place. I’ll cry until my pity party’s in flames.

VIRGO: Alphabet Boy // I know my ABC’s, yet you keep teaching me. I say fuck your degree, alphabet boy.

LIBRA: Dollhouse // Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces. Everyone thinks that we’re perfect, please don’t let them look through the curtains.

SCORPIO: Pacify Her // Someone told me to stay away from things that aren’t yours. But was he yours if he wanted me so bad?

SAGITTARIUS: Carousel // And it’s all fun and games, 'til somebody falls in love, but you’ve already bought a ticket and there’s no turning back now.

CAPRICORN: Sippy Cup // Blood money, blood money. How did you afford this ring that I love, honey? "Just another shift at the drug company.” He doesn’t think I’m that fucking dumb does he?

AQUARIUS: Mad Hatter // Doctor, doctor please listen. My brain is scattered. You can be Alice, I’ll be the mad hatter.

PISCES: Cry Baby // Your heart’s too big for your body. It’s where your feelings hide. They’re pouring out where everyone can see.

What'd you sell your soul for?
  • Aries:Power, of course. The point of the game is winning.
  • Taurus:Superiority. I've always been a cut above the rest, anyway, you know.
  • Gemini:Necessity. It was in the way of doing what needed to be done.
  • Cancer:Wealth. Who says money can't buy happiness?
  • Leo:Immortality. Dying is for suckers.
  • Virgo:Love; the greatest of all things, and the most fragile.
  • Libra:Friendship. You stand by your friends, even at the highest cost.
  • Scorpio:Defiance. I don't need a soul; it's only a weakness.
  • Sagittarius:Youth. All the energy and joy of living you'll ever need.
  • Capricorn:Knowledge. If only you'd known then, you could have made things right.
  • Aquarius:A life without the need of sleep. You don't want to take any minute for granted.
  • Pisces:To bring someone back from the dead. You still have things you need to say.
How the signs play The Sims

Makes a sim, gets them married, starts a family, basically how the game was meant to be played - Taurus, Capricorn, Pisces, Virgo, Libra, Cancer

Fucks everyone in town, gets pregnant with all the mens’ babies/impregnates all the women - Sagittarius, Aquarius, Leo

Drowns their sims in the pool - Scorpio, Gemini, Aries

The signs as pretty cool things
  • Aries:When kittens are free to all good homes
  • Taurus:When children are brought up knowing all races are equal
  • Gemini:When people do not judge people for being "overweight"
  • Cancer:When nobody cheats on anyone
  • Leo:When people aren't bullied in high school for no reason!
  • Virgo:When people get a long with everyone
  • Libra:Legal gay marriage in all states!
  • Scorpio:When girls aren't called sluts for having sex with more than one person
  • Sagittarius:When children are brought up knowing all genders are equal
  • Capricorn:When people accept people for who ever they are and want to identify as
  • Aquarius:When a young child is brought up knowing being gay is okay
  • Pisces:When people don't say being bi is "fake" or a "phase"
the signs as things that my friends have said
  • aries:iS THAT A CHALLENGE?????
  • taurus:i'm so philosophical right now i'm like the next confucius or some shit
  • gemini:bow down bitches
  • cancer:i swear this bitch is out to get me
  • leo:god karen, it's not my fault you're so obsessed with me
  • virgo:are u like... for real
  • libra:u peasant
  • scorpio:....fucking try me u bitch
  • sagittarius:*jumping over a table* PARKOUR BITCH DID U SEE THAT
  • capricorn:get the hell away from me
  • aquarius:um.... what the fuck
  • pisces:WWWWEEEEEDDDDDD
What Your Sign Says About You
  • Aries:Angry trash
  • Taurus:Hungry trash
  • Gemini:Trash
  • Cancer:No one cares
  • Leo:Human landfill
  • Virgo:Virgin trash
  • Libra:Ambulance chasing trash
  • Scorpio:Sexually frustrated trash
  • Sagittarius:Trash on horseback
  • Capricorn:A moldy waste bin
  • Aquarius:Soggy trash
  • Pisces:Literally human garbage
The signs going back to school

Aries: Already has all their school supples

Taurus: ALL THEY CAN THINK ABOUT

Gemini: Actually looking forward to it

Cancer: Hasn’t started the summer reading

Leo: ‘New year, new you’ motto

Virgo: regretting signing up for so many hard classes

Libra: Crying about it

Scorpio: doesn’t know what day it is

Sagittarius: Only looking forward to back to school shopping

Capricorn: Cant wait to tell everyone about their summer

Aquarius: Litterally only going to see their friends again

Pisces: Sleep schedule is way too messed up for it

Sensual experiences related to scorpio include, but are not limited to:
the feel of a brand new pair of curtains being tied so as to escape out of a tower
petting a hellhound
petting a cat. any cat will do. they are all worthy of your adoration
the smell of a crowded bus that you ignore in favour of waiting for the next one
jagged rocks sliding over your feet at the beach
your flesh prison peeling back to reveal your glorious smokey form