Schemer

Plotting devious deeds in French

Alright young deviants, schemers and connivers, this is for you:

élaborer un plan - to hatch a plan

être de connivence avec qqn - to be conniving with s.o

être de mèche avec qqn - to collude with sb

un complot - a scheme/conspiracy

comploter - to plot

conspirer/comploter/se liguer contre - to conspire against

conspirer pour faire qch - to conspire to do sth

grenouiller - to plot/scheme (politics)

intriguer - to connive/plot

machiner - to cook sth up

manigancer - to scheme/to plot

monter une machination - to machinate

pactiser avec l’ennemi - to collude with the enemy

The Empire Falls, The Empire Rises

In the Land of the Lawsuit
and the laughing mad
chiselled chinned proponents
of alternative hatreds
pose themselves
to be guardians
to the drowning
who flounder and are
sinking quick in a sea
of pious hypocrisy
as celebrity strokes the altar
of uncertain egos
calling out
“Prostrate yourself
you weak ugly creatures
empty your mind of thought
and fill it with desires
of being what you will never be”
Oh how we stumble!
Oh how our stunted dreams
drain themselves of a truth
traded for belonging!
Crippled and hobbled,
the wings shorn from our backs,
we stagger towards
the Castle of All Lies
where fear and the inferior
lays claim
to strength and the superior,
They are redacting our consent
with the sadistic bliss
of the schemer exceeding
by any and all measure
the foulest of plans
gone from impossible
to this.

Partners in crime

Aries x Capricorn :
Explosives and brains. This duo will be unstoppable with Aries as the doer and Cap as the thinker. High tech equipment, they mean business. Most notorious of them all, everything will be broadcasted and still they will never be caught

Leo x Scorpio
Crime and seduction. Elegant, sleek and charming, these two will be hiding guns under suits and/or long elegant dresses. They hide their intention with perfumes stronger than revenge and are as timelessly deadly as the poison they’ll use on you

Pisces x Taurus
Strength and flexibility. This pair is inseparable and have a ride or die attitude to themselves and their plots. Will fight to the bitter end, succeed with Taurus strength and Pisces agility. Road trip schemers, they will always be on the run and they love it

Virgo x Aquarius
Genius and madness. Nothing goes better hand in hand. Most extravagant plotters of them all yet no one will understand what they are doing until it’s too late. Always a step ahead of everyone, they would receive a Nobel prize in crime

Gemini x Sagittarius
Adventure and conspiracy. These two will go down in history with their rebellious conspiracy. Yet, their scheme will always be a more of a game, and adventure to them. For them light hearted trickery is a catastrophe to everyone else

Libra x Cancer
Innocence and Evil. They are the devil in angel’s clothing. Will slip by unnoticed with some captivating chit chat and friendly smiles. Their eyes hide the plot well, they are the last anyone would ever suspect. Quick on their feet, good luck to anyone trying to catch them

where are the women?
in these old stories of blood and war
women know of these things better than men

Where is Helen?
glorious and golden, Aphrodite in human form
Why does she not get to tell her story of finding and regretting love? 


Where is Penelope?
silent and suffering
why does she not get to rage for the injustice


Where is Rebekah?
the schemer, the dreamer, the believer
why does she not get to be blessed?


It’s a question I’ve been asked since I was eight
Where are the women?


Where are they now?


They are marching, they are fighting, they are screaming
Look around you,


we are storytellers
we are freedom fighters
we are the ones chosen

—  Hear Us Roar by Abby S
  • Pisces revenge pt.2
  • Pisces: I bet you're all wondering why i gathered you here today-
  • Virgo: We're here for you're revenge on Aquarius and Gemini
  • Cancer: We agreed to help you get back at them
  • Pisces: OK so you all know why you're here then
  • Scorpio: I also have someone on the inside that has agreed to help us
  • Virgo: You can just say it's Libra
  • Scorpio: How do you know it's Libra?
  • Virgo: C'mon man, everyone knows you two have been hooking up
  • Scorpio: Okay, so Libra is going to help us
  • Pisces: Libra will be our eyes and ears from the inside, we'll call her our lookout.
  • Scorpio: Yes, and Virgo, we're gonna need your detailed eye and your perfectionist skills to be our planner
  • Virgo: It will be my honor
  • Scorpio: Pisces will be the actor and I will be working with Virgo, I will be the schemer
  • Cancer: What do you need me to do?
  • Scorpio: *looks at Pisces*
  • Pisces: *looks at Virgo*
  • Virgo: We're gonna need snacks
  • Pisces: Yes! And you're THE best cook we know!
  • Cancer: Chef Crab Cakes at your duty *salutes*
  • *Libra walks in*
  • Libra: I got bad news guys
  • Pisces: *gulps*
  • Libra: When I was hanging out with Leo I got some intel on Gemini and Aquarius. They found out that y'all are planning a revenge scheme and *takes deep breath* want to make...war
  • Scorpio: Oh no
  • Pisces: *gulps even louder*
  • Libra: They've recruited...
  • Scorpio, Virgo, Pisces, Cancer: *staring intensely at Libra*
  • Libra: Sagittarius
  • Pisces: *is a gulp-a-holic at this point*
  • Scorpio: *looks off into the distance* oh god. help us all

I thought I’d take a moment to talk about one of my favorite minor rogues in the Batman canon.  It’s not Clock King, it’s not Condiment King, it’s not even Killer Moth…

This is A.S. Scarlet, AKA The Bookworm, a character that was introduced in the 1966 Adam West TV series.  The creators came up with the idea for him in honor of National Reading week, so no points for guessing what his shtick is.  But it’s the details that makes me really love him.

First of all, the costume and gadgets.  I love this costume so much—it hits the sweet spot between goofy and kind of awesome.  The brown pleather jacket is meant to echo “rare old book bindings” (because books are bound with leather…?) and while it looks more than a bit uncomfortable (it seriously creaks whenever he moves!), the tailoring on it is great.  Plus it manages to look rather dapper.

The reading lamp on the fedora is pretty neat, but what I really love are the glasses.  When he turns a knob on the side of the left frame, it opens a radio frequency that allows him to communicate with his henchmen. A few years later, the Green Hornet TV show would come up with a similar device, but I love the fact that a one-off Batman villain came up with it first.

Second of all, the henchmen themselves.  Typically the henchmen on the ‘66 show, even moreso than in modern Batman media, were big dumb galoots who had to be led around by their nose to obvious answers by their bosses.  But these guys didn’t really fit that stereotype.  Yeah, they were crappy fighters and got their butts handed to them by Batman easily, but they were miles more intelligent than your average goons. They were articulate, kind of snobby, and always thinking on the same wavelength as their boss.  That, and they were efficient—every scheme they wanted to pull went off without a hitch. Plus they’ve got some awesome codenames (Pressman, Typesetter, and my favorite, Printer’s Devil).

And of course, there was the moll—Lydia Limpet (Francine York).  Most of the time the ‘66 molls were there just to be empty-headed eye-candy, but not this girl.  Not only does she have some genuinely adorable chemistry with Bookworm—

(I ship these two like freaking FedEx.)

–but she is also darn intelligent in her own right. When she’s taken into the Batcave and hypnotized to try to weasel out her boss’s ultimate plan, she immediately twigs to the fact that the Dynamic Duo know more than they should and feeds them false information.  She also tricks Robin into gassing himself into unconsciousness.  All while literally having her hands tied.  She also has quite a bit in common with Bookworm, sharing his love of literature.  And then at the end, while most molls try to weasel their way out by pleading with Batman and claiming they were just innocent girls who tangled with the wrong crowd, Lydia accepts her fate and allows herself to be arrested.  She’s completely unapologetic about the entire scheme, and I love that about her.

And third of all, the character of the Bookworm himself.  He’s played by one of the great character actors, Roddy McDowall—

(whom you might know better as this little scamp)

–who makes Bookworm into much more than a one-note baddie.  He’s intelligent, certainly, with high standards and an eidetic memory; and he’s also very theatrical and cheerfully practically in a Riddler sort of way.  But he’s also freaking scary.  Most of the time, he has a very genteel, calm demeanor with this constant smile of slight “you poor simple fools”-style amusement on his face.  But when things don’t go his way, or when someone even says a wrong thing, he completely flips his gourd.  In the beginning of his two-parter, Lydia asks him why, with his brain and enthusiasm, he hasn’t written his own book.  And he blows up at her, admitting that for all his brilliance he doesn’t actually have any originality, resorting to “stolen plots” from other books, and accuses her of insulting him further.  He then picks up the heaviest book in his lair and attempts to bash her brains in with it…all over an honest mistake.  

Of course, he’s back in perfect control within minutes, but for the rest of the episode you’re on edge every time he so much as snaps at anyone.  And it’s not the only time he flies off the handle like that, either—after Batman and Robin escape one of his deathtraps, he has another brief freakout before getting back to business.  He’s a fascinating character to watch and played by a fantastic actor to boot.

The two-part 1966 episode he’s in is a wild ride from start to finish, including a possible assassination attempt, the first window cameo ever, and some truly outrageous and convoluted deathtraps (appropriate for a rogue who “like any struggling novelist, overcomplicates the plot!”).  One of which involves a giant cookbook.  I am not making that up.  All the expected ‘60s weird is there, but it’s still a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, that was the only appearance he made in Batman media for a long time.  McDowall wanted to come back for another two-parter, but his busy schedule got in the way.  He didn’t show up again until a 1989 Huntress arc that gave him a new grim ‘n’ gritty backstory.

“A victim of child abuse, his mother would lock him in a closet while she worked on puzzles. (Alexander) Wyvern once started a fire in the closet in a desperate attempt to get his mother to release him – only to wind up badly burned and, after he got his mother’s attention, badly beaten. Psychologically damaged, the boy grew into a serial killer.  Though the violent character bore little resemblance to the literature-obsessed felon of the 1960s, this version did still leave Riddler-style clues for the police to hunt him down.  Bookworm ultimately met his demise when he set a deadly trap for the Huntress. Huntress dressed as his mother, frightening him into running away and tripping his own contraption, killing him.”

(From the Batman wiki)

It was lame, and we don’t talk about it anymore.

He made a few cameos in Deathstroke the Terminators and Teen Titans comics in the 90s, as well as a itty bitty nonspeaking appearance in Batman: The Brave and the Bold.

But in 2013 he made a glorious debut to comics in 2013 in the Batman ’66 line, setting new deathtraps and dropping new literary hints. In one of his best appearances, he sets himself up as an adversary to Batgirl, which is just perfect.  Who better to oppose Barbara Gordon, a librarian, than a book-themed supervillain?

(Yes, that is a giant bug demon.  Long story.)

And in 2014 he reappeared in Gotham Academy, this time as the school’s English and theater professor, which is even more perfect.

He’s a good teacher, if strict and a bit overdramatic.  And let’s be honest, what isn’t cool about having an ex-supervillain as a professor?

Also, this scene. This scene is awesome.

Yes, that is Egghead as played by Vincent Price.  Gotham Academy is just the best.

TL;DR, the Bookworm is an awesome, oft-overlooked Batman baddie whom I highly recommend every fan check out.  You won’t regret it!

Here’s a link to an episode of the Batcave Podcast discussing his ’66 two-parter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P3k0o_-Zvk

(All images courtesy of Google Stock.)

3

Lance has shown traits of Slytherin. Cunning, resourcefulness, ambition. Lance can exhibit aspects of Gryffindor, but I think that’s more Keith’s area: charging headlong into battle and such. At one point Lance had to hold him back from doing so, and inform him of a better plan, so as not to hurt the Balmera. We see Keith do this again in the last episode where he took on Zarkon even though Coran warned him not to, going so far as to switch off his comm so he couldn’t hear him. 

I think Keith is more a Gryffindor as he is very brave, courageous, daring and is known to be reckless.

We know that Lance is schemer, and I don’t mean that in a bad sort of way. Only that he tries to think things through before actually diving into the thick of things. We see examples of this also in the Balmera episode. He’s tactical, whereas Keith would prefer to charge in swinging his sword. 

NOT that you can’t exhibit more than one house traits. 

I’m not trying to shit on Keith, I love Keith almost as much as I love Lance. I’m not saying that these character traits make him a bad person or a bad character. Not in the slightest. I’m just saying. Lance is a Slytherin and Keith is a Gryffindor. 

Real talk, DC Bombshells fans...

As much as I love DC’s Bombshells line, I have to kind of side-eye their treatment of male villains in comparison to the female ones.  Canonically, Harley and Ivy are both violent criminals, but in this line they get to be an adorable couple fighting on the side of the angels.  And I love that.  But on the other hand, Edward Nygma and Oswald Cobblepot/Harvey Dent get portrayed as a Nazi sympathizer and a Donald Trump allegory respectively.  As @consulting-time-hobbit commented in a chat, it’s like they tried to go to the opposite end of the spectrum and make all the guys cardboard cutout baddies and the girls fully fleshed out characters.  Like the writers don’t think the male villains deserve to be more than mustache-twirling caricatures.  It’s an infuriating double standard that I WISH they’d rise above.  I’d love to see characters like Nygma rise above their Axis brainwashing to become liberated supporters of the Allied cause with the ladies.  I’d love to see them some equality when it comes to sympathetic portrayals of these characters. 

Men with discrimination will be viewed as schemers; second, men with deep far-sightedness will be seen as cowards; and third, men with rough behaviour will be mistaken for real warriors.
—  Takeda Shingen (1521 - 1573)