Office Memo

Welcome to your new position at _(Redacted)_ Inc.! I hope you’re settling in well. Don’t hesitate to ask questions about anything you don’t understand! 

Today I know you’ll be busy working through your welcome packet. I just have a few more small notes to leave you with before you get started. I know you’ll fit in great! 

Please refer to the phone list for an updated list of coworker extensions.

Potlucks happen often. Come hungry - we always have way more leftovers than we can eat! 

Don’t mind the elevators. The noises have been noted, and our maintenance person has checked them repeatedly. Rest assured that they have passed all safety tests with flying colors. You’ll get used to the sounds before you know it. 

And a quick note about the employee bathroom: 

We are aware of the flickering light issue. While our maintenance team works on it, we can just advise you to ignore it as best you can. 

Also note that the second-to-last stall on the right has an odd tendency to become locked at random when not in use. There have been some reports of odd noises coming from that stall, including a sound like moaning or quiet weeping. We are also aware of the reports of shadows moving within it while empty, and of dark fluids seeping through the tiles seemingly at random. 

While we work out the potential cause, we recommend that you do not attempt to open the door or use the stall at all when the door is locked, especially if it appears to be empty. 

We also recommend that if you are in an adjacent stall or leaving the restroom and hear the sound of footsteps of breathing directly behind you, do not turn around or make any sign of having heard. Under any circumstances, do not look in the mirror. 

We recommend that you continue walking without pause; our employees have reported a very high success rate with that tactic! 

Otherwise, we welcome you again to _(Redacted)_, Inc. and look forward to making you feel at home. 

“I rented a basement room for about a year, the house was clean and the basement had big, bright windows but I always felt like I was being watched. 

For months I brushed it off as just being spooked, but when my landlord wasn’t home, I started to hear strange noises from upstairs. She has a dog and a cat, so at first I thought it was one of them whining but after a few “tests” of being in the same room as the animals and still hearing the noise, I determined it was something else. 

One night I woke up to the sound of scratching under my bed. Loud scratching. Something big was under my bed, the scratching intensified to the point where I felt the mattress move under me, as if a person was under my bed pushing the mattress up with their back and scratching the floor. Too afraid to actually look under the bed, I laid there frozen until the scratching stopped and I eventually fell asleep. 

The next day I went to get a sage stick and removed the legs of my bed so that the box spring is on the floor and nothing can get under it.”

By: @oneeyedgypsie

The Least Satisfying Explanation

Before my husband died, our daughter, Veronica, was diagnosed with childhood schizophrenia. We brought her to countless specialists and nearly all of them came to the same conclusion. The condition is rare, but certainly not unheard of. We were devastated. The doctors suggested that we not start her on medication right away. They were concerned the chemicals might interfere with the development of her brain. At five years old, when proper brain development is critical, they didn’t want to chance it. Only if the hallucinations became severe would they prescribe antipsychotics.

Paul said it might help if we could identify the hallucinations over the course of the next year so we might know what to expect before she started school. This was pretty hard for me to agree with. I’d wanted her to start kindergarten right away. She’d demonstrated she was smart enough and more than capable, but eventually I caved. I just didn’t want to admit that Veronica needed special attention. We needed to separate her hallucinations from the normal, everyday make-believe that every kid her age does.

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HELL HOUSE by Richard Matheson 

BOOKS OF BLOOD, Clive Barker

THE HANDMAID’S TALE, by Margaret Atwood

THE GREAT GOD PAN, by Arthur Machen

JOHNNY GOT HIS GUN, by Dalton Trumbo 


PET SEMATARY, by Stephen King

DRACULA, by Bram Stoker 


SWAN SONG, by Robert McCammon


Don't Fear the Reaper.

I’ll say it right now, I grew up in a broken home. Dad drank. Mom drank. That might be why I’ve never touched a drop. But I’m getting on a tangent here.

Most of you already know where this story is going. Dad used to get drunk and blame mom and I for all his problems. Mom used to lock me in my room while he… while you knock what aggressive drunks do when they’re upset. i’d say more often than not my mother’s screams and my own sobs were what rocked me to sleep.

Then my mom started drinking and became numb to the whole thing. First dad kept hitting her and left me to cry in my room. I guess he got bored eventually. Three days after my fifth birthday dad came up to my room for the first time. He had never done that before. Mom had stopped him. He broke my nose that first night. We went to the hospital and I told the doctor I fell down the stairs. He seemed to believe me.

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For @sixpenceee

This guy was photographed on Saturday morning in Merthyr, Wales. His creepy demeanour and ‘Jason-Style’ mask even stopped traffic after passers by slowed down to take a look. The man who took the photograph explained that this guy was here for hours, standing completely still, with a “suspicious” bag hanging from his shoulder. Some people were even too afraid to walk home by themselves later that night! Apparently, even the police were called, but no weapons were found, and no arrests were made. But still, nobody knows who this guy is…

that’s some crazy sixpenceee shit!!


This image was submitted to me by someone who wishes to remain anonymous. Their message reads as follows:

“I was playing around on Snapchat when I noticed that my front camera wasn’t working. I was home alone, in the dark, watching some re-run of American Horror Story. When I first noticed something was wrong with the camera, I tried to close the ap. all together. This only made a static kind of image appear as a video, even though I wasn’t attempting to record a video at the time…. So long story short, I gave up, put my phone down and went to get another beer. My refrigirator is not far away, but I figured it would give snapchat enough time to refresh itself. When I got back, I was kind of freaked out by the image I saw. Even weirder was the fact that my phone was in a completely different position!!!! My phone was unfrozen, and I (somehow) had enough initiative to save the image and submit it here, just so you know what happened to me in case I get possessed and killed by this thing. And p.s, the face isn’t mine. I’m a black 29 year old male, and I know I don’t look like some damn white succubus demon-woman.”

I will NEVER wear a condom again!

Show of hands: who actually likes wearing condoms? Exactly. They’re the worst. They’re uncomfortable, they destroy all feeling, and if you actually manage to complete the act without deflating like one of Tom Brady’s footballs, you have to waddle over to the bathroom to throw the thing away while it hangs off you like an eating-disordered grub. But you know what? We still wear them. Because we’re civilized people.

Here’s the thing: fuck being civilized. I’m never wearing one of those latex pieces of shit for as long as I live. As if everything I said above wasn’t enough, I had to deal with what happened last night. God knows if I’ll ever be able to have sex again.

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True crime documentary master list for crime all you creeps

Originally posted by tugbaheaven

I made a mini list a while ago and thought I’d compile a much bigger list of true crime media for all the crime creeps out there. I haven’t seen everything on here, but being true crime, I guarantee a lot of it is most likely not safe for work nor for the squeamish. Please use discretion. Feel free to add on if something cool was left off.


  • The Jeffrey Dahmer Files (2012): This goes hard and shows Dahmer’s life through the eyes of a detective, Dahmer’s neighbor, and a pathologist. Get ready for REAL interviews mixed with reenactments to relive the summer of his ‘91 arrest. Where you can watch it: Netflix, Hulu, and YouTube
  • Serial Killers: John Wayne Gacy (1999): So clowns aren’t ~really~ scary…except when the clown is a seemingly nice guy who is actually a serial murderer. A&E goes deep into Gacy’s life so you can be even more spooked by his story.Where you can watch it: YouTube
  • Dear Zachary: On Nov. 5, 2001, Dr. Andrew Bagby was murdered in a parking lot in western Pennsylvania; the prime suspect, his ex-girlfriend Dr. Shirley Turner. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Just Melvin, Just Evil : A classic documentary about Abuse. Where you can watch it: YouTube
  • The House Of Suh:An exploration of the tragic history of the Suh family and the murder that shocked America. Where you can watch it: Youtube
  • The Cheshire Murders: The circumstances surrounding the small-town murders of Jennifer Hawke-Petit and her two young daughters. Where you can watch it: Youtube
  • Crips and Bloods: Made in America (2008): With a first-person look at the notorious Crips and Bloods, this film examines the conditions that have lead to decades of devastating gang violence among young African Americans growing up in South Los Angeles. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • This Is the Zodiac Speaking (2007): Released as a feature on the Zodiac (2007) DVD, this doc shows interviews with original investigators from the iconic case.Where you can watch it: YouTube
  • Cropsey: The boogeyman-like Cropsey was just a myth for the kids of Staten Island in the ’80s, until he became a living nightmare and actually started taking children. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • H.H. Holmes: The first known american serial killer. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Killer Legends: a documentary investigating US urban legends. Where you can watch it: Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon
  • NOVA: Mind of a rampage killer. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Room 237: Interpretations and perceived meanings of Stanley Kubrick’s film The Shining. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • The Central Park Five: In 1989, five African-American teenagers are incorrectly identified as suspects in the rape of a white woman in Central Park, quickly creating a media firestorm. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Tabloid (2010): he story of British tabloid sensation Joyce McKinney, a former beauty queen accused of kidnapping a Mormon and making him her slave. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Aileen Wuornos: a serial killing lesbian from Florida with a really messed up past. There are actually two documentaries about her on Netflix. Take your pick. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Ted Bundy: The Mind of a Killer (2000): He confessed to killing more than 28 women in the 1970s. This movie will pretty much make you feel like you can’t trust anyone.Where you can watch it: YouTube
  • Talhotblond: the complex consequences of virtual relationships through one specific Internet love triangle, which ends in murder and incarceration. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Tales of the Grim Sleeper (2014): Lonnie Franklin’s DNA matched with over 20 possible murder victims, and Tales of the Grim Sleeper features interviews with people who knew him best — making for creepy insight into one of Los Angeles’s worst murder sprees ever. Where you can watch it: HBO Go
  • Into the Abyss: examines why people kill, and whether capital punishment is ever warranted. In conversations with inmate Michael Perry and those affected by his crime, Herzog delves deep into the state of the the prison system, for an unflinching look at life, death and the value of a humanity, as impacted by a search for justice. Where you can watch it: Netflix 
  • Albert Fish: In Sin He Found Salvation (2007): Okay, so this one is highly disturbing — Albert Fish kidnapped, molested, and murdered CHILDREN, which is probably the most sadistic kind of murderer possible. Watch at your own risk.Where you can watch it: Amazon
  • Serial Killers: The Real Life Hannibal Lecters (2001): If you saw The Silence of the Lambs and thought, This is fucked up, you’ll enjoy this film, mostly because the serial killers discussed in this movie are all equally — if not more — horrifying as the fortunately fictional Hannibal Lecter.Where you can watch it: YouTube
  • Serial Killers: Jack the Ripper (The Whitechapel Murderer) (2008): This documentary interviews experts who pick apart the details of the case of Jack the Ripper, one of England’s most notorious serial killers EVER. There was SO MUCH BLOOD, YOU GUYS.Where you can watch it: YouTube
  • I Survived BTK (2010): Dennis Rader was a respected church leader and family man in his hometown who bound, tortured, and killed victims (hence his nickname, “The BTK Killer”) — all the while tormenting the police with letters describing the murders.Where you can watch it: Amazon
  • The Pig Farm (2011): Robert “Willie” Pickton was a millionaire pig farmer — and one of Canada’s most notorious serial killers. This documentary studies the crimes committed by him and his brother, and will make you question whether or not you should ever trust your neighbors or friends.Where you can watch it: iTunes
  • Carl Panzram: The Spirit of Hatred and Vengeance (2011): Panzram was a serial killer who died in 1930. This is the story of how he befriended a prison guard who suggested Panzram write about how he came to be a murderer. Shit’s fucked up, man.Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Ed Gein: The Real Leatherface (2004): Though not ~technically~ a serial killer by definition, Gein is close enough, and his story is FUCKED UP. His “necrophiliac tendencies” have inspired horrifying characters like Leatherface in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Hell nah.Where you can watch it: YouTube
  • The Real Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2014): Where you can watch it: Hulu
    The Real Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003): Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Interview with a Serial Killer (2008): In this jailhouse interview, Arthur Shawcross, the Genesee River Killer, shares candid details of his crimes and his surprising family bonds. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Richard Ramirez: The Night Stalker (2004): Ramirez brutally raped and murdered over a dozen people during a two-year period, and was supposedly into Satanic worship. This documentary delves deep into his mind — and it’s obviously terrifying.Where you can watch it: YouTube
  • Gary Ridgway: The Green River Killer (2003): Gary Ridgway was convicted of 48 horrifying murders and confessed to even more — this movie shows interviews with local police and Ridgway’s family members, and it will LITERALLY CHILL YOU TO THE BONE.Where you can watch it: YouTube
  • Confessions of a Serial Killer: Jeffrey Dahmer (1994): MSNBC sat down with the man who raped, murdered, and ate 17 men from the late ’70s to the early ’90s. The scariest part? His overall calmness when discussing the reasons behind his actions.Where you can watch it: Top Documentary Films
  • 30 for 30: Benji (2012): In 1984, 17-year-old Ben Wilson was a symbol of everything promising about Chicago: a beloved, sweet-natured youngster from the city’s fabled South Side, and America’s most talented basketball prospect. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • My Amityville Horror: About a guy who lived in the famous haunted house as a kid. Where you can watch it: itunes, amazon, (here), or just google it…
  • The Act of Killing (2013): Retired Indonesian death-squad leaders open up about genocide and their favorite ways to kill people based on what they’ve seen in American cinema: musical numbers being among their favorite to reenact — with a brutal twist. Where you can watch it: itunes, amazon, Netflix
  • ‘Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood’ (1996):Three troubled teenage boys were accused and tried for triple homicide back in the early 1990s. Where you can watch it: itunes, amazon
  • ‘Titicut Follies’ (1967): filmmaker Frederick Wiseman uncovers the torture chamber that was Bridgewater State Hospital, a Massachusetts institution for the criminally insane.Where you can watch it: itunes, amazon
  • Shenandoah: A documentary on the hate crime assault and subsequent death of a Latino man in Shenandoah Pennsylvania, including the alleged cover-up and shocking court verdicts. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • The Brandon Teena Story (1998): Brandon Teena was an American trans man who was raped and murdered in Humboldt, Nebraska. His life and death were the subject of the Academy Award-winning 1999 film Boys Don’t Cry. Where you can watch it: amazon
  • West Of Memphis: The untold story behind an extraordinary and desperate fight to bring the truth to light; a fight to stop the State of Arkansas from killing an innocent man.Where you can watch it: amazon
  • The Imposter (2012): British-American documentary film about the 1997 case of the French confidence trickster Frédéric Bourdin, who impersonated Nicholas Barclay, a Texas boy who disappeared at the age of 13 in 1994, directed by Bart Layton. The film includes interviews with Bourdin and members of Barclay’s family, as well as archive television news footage and reenacted dramatic sequences. Where you can watch it: Netflix, Youtube

True Crime Series 

  • The Jinx: The Life and Deaths of Robert Durst (2015): is a 2015 HBO documentary miniseries about accused murderer Robert Durst,written by Andrew Jarecki, Marc Smerling, and Zachary Stuart-Pontier. The series was also directed by Jarecki, who had previously directed the feature film All Good Things(2010), which was inspired by Durst’s biography. Where you can watch it: HBOgo
  • Making a Murderer (2015): Filmed over a 10-year period, Making a Murderer is an unprecedented real-life thriller about Steven Avery, a DNA exoneree who, while in the midst of exposing corruption in local law enforcement, finds himself the prime suspect in a grisly new crime. Set in America’s heartland, the series takes viewers inside a high-stakes criminal case where reputation is everything and things are never as they appear. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • Psychic Investigators (2006): Real-life detective thrillers which combine stylized dramatic reconstructions, unique archive and compelling interviews with key characters. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • The First 48: The first 48 hours are the most crucial in homicide and kidnapping cases, which is the premise of this series. The show is great for capturing the drama of behind-the-scenes detective work because it shines a light into what detectives need to weed through in order to get on the correct trail – and unlike Hollywood dramatizations like “CSI” and “Law & Order,” real-life police work doesn’t come with a 100-percent confession rate. Where you can watch it: AETV
  • Killer Kids (2012): a terrifying and fascinating journey into the disturbing lives of children who commit acts of murder. Where you can watch it:
  • Lockup: This TV documentary series is an interesting portrayal of what life is like inside prisons, as shown from the perspective of both the inmates and the corrections officers. “Lockup” is equal parts addicting, educational and realistic. Where you can watch it: MSNBC
  • Murder Maps: This drama-doc series takes us back in time to the most shocking and surprising murder cases in history. Where you can watch it: Netflix
  • I Survived: survivors explain, in their own words, how they overcame unbelievable circumstances – offering insight into what got them through the experience that changed their lives forever. Where you can watch it:



  • Lore: the frightening history behind common folklore
  • Last Podcast on the left: covers all the horrors our world has to offer both imagined and real, from demons and slashers to cults and serial killers
  • Generation Why: Two friends, Aaron & Justin, discuss theories and share their opinions on unsolved murders
  • My Favorite Murder: Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, two lifelong fans of true crime stories. Each episode the girls tell each other their favorite tales of murder, and hear hometown crime stories from friends and fans.
  • Seriously Strange: Youtubers Cayleigh Elise and Rob Dyke discuss true crime and strange articles in the news
  • Criminal: Stories of people who’ve done wrong, been wronged, or gotten caught somewhere in the middle.
  • Serial: The podcast everyone’s already heard of. Serial tells one story—a true story—over the course of a season.
  • Anything Ghost: listeners share real life stories about ghosts
  • Someone Knows Something: A series produced by CBC that examines unsolved cases of missing or murdered individuals.
  • Thin Air Podcast: Two English majors investigate cold cases by examining evidence and interviewing people involved with the original investigation.
  • Sword and Scale: Podcast covers the ugly underbelly of true crime. Be prepared to never sleep again…
  • Thinking Sideways: Investigating things we simply don’t have the answer to. Sometimes you have to think a little sideways to come up with a plausible solution to the mystery.

This photograph is the subject of several urban legends that have emerged online over the years. One of the more terrifying stories is that the little girl was sick over Christmastime and ended up in hospital, where she was kindly entertained by these mystery men in suits: two clowns and Father Christmas, who seems particularly transfixed on the creepy doll. Legend has it that this girl completely disappeared and the photograph was left on her hospital bed. It was suspected that the three men in costumes kidnapped the girl and killed her, although no certain proof of this has ever surfaced.

After 20 years, my wife finally allowed me to tell this story.

Like all good stories, this one begins with a testicle self-examination. Or, as its colloquially known: jerking off. It was my last day in Guatemala and I was sitting in the hotel, waiting to go to the airport, and abusing myself to help pass the time. Things were going as well as could be expected. Until they weren’t. My left middle finger brushed against a lump on my right testicle. My erection wilted like a primrose at Chernobyl.

I did a cursory examination, hoping it might be an ingrown hair. But I knew it wasn’t. It didn’t have the itchy pain of an ingrown hair. No pain at all, actually. It had all the telltale signs of a growth I absolutely did not want anywhere on my body, especially not on my balls. Within 20 minutes, I’d cancelled my flight, phoned Renee to tell her the flight was delayed, and called an emergency clinic to tell them I was on my way.

Fast forward eight hours. Interesting fact about Guatemala: great medical care! I was examined, given an ultrasound, and told, to my enormous relief, the growth was benign. Just a cluster of fatty deposits. It’d go away on its own in a few weeks. I was on the next flight home.

I got back to my house around 10pm. It’d been almost two months since I saw my wife. Needless to say, we were both happy to see each other. I took a shower, scrubbed out the nooks and crannies, and did a bit of manscaping. The lump that had caused me so much stress only 24 hours earlier had already started to dissipate. There was a pretty good chance Renee wouldn’t even notice. I finished the process of making myself smell moderately fuckable, dried off, and headed into the bedroom.

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