Scarfy and Dangan Ronpa

3

So I won this thing from that Redd lottery tonight at my town’s fireworks festival. It’s called an Ultra Machine, and it spits out a ball just like this whenever you use it.

Quick, someone come to my town dressed as Leon so we can reenact his execution.

The only downside to owning that Ishimaru figure would be that I would probably have to explain to my parents at some point why he was crying over a tub of butter.

I don’t have parents who I can just tell outright that his best friend got churned into butter-like paste so a stuffed bear could have something to put on his pancakes, if I did my life would be so much easier in that regard

Since they’re prefacing Dangan Ronpa with the title “Trigger Happy Havoc” once it comes over here, I’m wondering how many impulsive buyers will end up mistaking it for a shooter when they see it in stores.

“Duuuude, where’s all the zombies?!”

“Hey, where’s the enemy soldiers? When do I get to shoot them?!”

“Well, I heard there was at least one sol-”

“And where the fuck are the aliens?! Man, you sure this is a shooter, brah?”

“I remember hearing they all have pink blood, so maybe everyone’s an alien?”

“Really! Suh-weeeet! Now tell me how to shoot the bear, he’s getting really fuckin’ annoying.”

#everyone in dr playing uno would have sped the murders up considerably tbh

What if Monobear just literally made the kids participate in a game of Uno as one of his motives for murder?

Oh, or better yet, hold a Mario Party tournament before anybody gets killed.

The team who got stuck with a computer player (since there’s only 15 kids, the groups wold be split up 4/4/4/3, and you need exactly four players in a Mario Party game no matter what) ends up killing each other out of rage when the computer wins, Celes kills Hagakure when he tries to steal her star, Leon and Mondo get into a huge and probably lethal fight over a Chance Time gone wrong, and it just gets worse from there

Monobear doesn’t even care about trials and executions anymore; this is way more fun to watch. The survivors get to play Twister afterwards. 

Imagine if voice recognition technology was as shitty in the Dangan Ronpa world as it is right now in real life

Say that when the Dangan kids find Alter Ego, they try to tell him that his master was killed.

“Chihiro died…”

“Huh? My master pied someone? That doesn’t sound very like him, but it does sound tasty… I wonder what happened?”

“No, your master died.”

“…W-who masturbated and died?”

DIED.”

“Dine? Well, okay!” (Alter Ego conjures a virtual steak in front of him and begins to eat it)