Harry 'sassy' Potter

Sooo, I’ve been listening to the audiobook of Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone as I go to sleep. For the longest time I’ve been stuck on chapter 3, and I just love the two sassy lines Harry has in it.

(Reservations for my paraphrasing. I’m drawing from memory)

‘They shove people’s heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall High,’ said Dudley. 'Wanna come upstairs and practice?’
'No thanks,’ said Harry. 'The toilet’s never had something as awful as your head in it; it might be sick.’

'What’s that?’ Harry asked, looking at the grey rags that were floating around in the tub in the sink.
Aunt Petunia’s lips thinned, as they always did when he dared to ask something. 'Your new school uniform’
'Oh, I didn’t realise that it had to be so wet.’

Sassy Harry

There are a few classic sassy Harry moments:

“There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.”


You may wear that scar like a crown, Potter, but it is not up to a seventeen-year-old boy to tell me how to do my job! It’s time you learned some respect!“

"It’s time you earned it.” said Harry.

But some of his sass is highly underrated:


“I know what day it is,” Dudley repeated, coming right up to him.

“Well done,” said Harry. “So you’ve finally learned the days of the week.”


“Only you said this morning you would have done it last night so know one could see..I’m not stupid you know!”

“You’re doing a really good impression of it!” Harry snapped.


“Congratulations, Harry!” she said, beaming at him. “I wonder if you could give me a quick word? How you felt facing that dragon? How you feel now, about the fairness of the scoring?”

“Yeah, you can have a word,” said Harry savagely. “Good-bye.”


“Not as stupid as you look, are you, Dud? But I s'pose, if you were, you wouldn’t be able to walk and talk at the same time.”


“An interview?” repeated Umbridge, her voice thinner and higher than ever. “What do you mean?”

“I mean a reporter asked me questions and I answered them,” said Harry.


“This is night, Diddykins. That’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”


Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that’s been taught to walk on its hind legs? ‘Cause that’s not cheek, Dud, that’s true…”


“Wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life?” said Harry sarcastically.


“Warrington’s aim’s so pathetic I’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me.”


“Well, I’m terrified now,” said Harry sarcastically. “I s'pose Lord Voldemort’s just a warm-up act compared to you three.” [..]

“You think you’re such a big man, Potter,” said Malfoy, advancing now, Crabbe and Goyle flanking him. “You wait. I’ll have you. You can’t land my father in prison.”

“I thought I just had,” said Harry.


“And they’d love to have me,” said Harry sarcastically. “We’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in.”


“Are you out of your mind?” demanded Harry. “A plot to get this house? Are you actually as stupid as you look?”

Now with Part 2!


make me choose

↳ bxllxtrix asked: Ron or Harry?

general perception of remus lupin: wise and calm; the voice of reason; reasonable and never impulsive; the rational marauder 

actual canon remus lupin: pretends not to notice his friends breaking a million rules even though he’s a prefect; uses snape in drag as his very first lesson, ready to fucking just. straight up murder a person bc of betrayal; gives a 13 year old kid a map that he could easily get into serious trouble with; shit talks umbridge behind her back; spends pretty much an entire book chilling underground with shady werewolves; knocks up his wife in the middle of a war and then tries to run away; 0-100 real quick; has absolutely no chill whatsoever; is a fucking disaster of a human being


“I cant read that because I’m stuck in the back”