Imagine if Harry just got a little too sick of Snape’s constant jibes about him being spoiled at home and just kinda snapped. “Yes professor, you’re right. I’m excessively pampered. It really is extravagant of the Dursley’s to let me have the ENTIRE cupboard under the stairs all to myself. Next thing you know I’ll be making ridiculous requests like being allowed to eat everyday or have clothes that fit!”
“They stuff people’s heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall,” he told Harry. “Want to come upstairs and practice?”
"No, thanks,” said Harry. “The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick.”
[In his first lesson with Snape]
don’t know,” said Harry quietly. “I think Hermione does, though, why
don’t you try her?”
“— and you mustn’t go wandering around the school at night, think of the points you’ll lose Gryffindor if you’re caught, and you’re bound to be. It’s really very selfish of you."
"And it’s really none of your business,” said Harry.
Lockhart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder. “Just do what I did, Harry!"
"What, drop my wand?”
“You’re alive,” she [Myrtle] said blankly to Harry.
“There’s no need to sound so disappointed,” he said grimly, wiping flecks of blood and slime off his glasses.
plenty of special features, hasn’t it?” said Malfoy, eyes glittering
maliciously. “Shame it doesn’t come with a parachute — in case you get too
near a Dementor.”
Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.
you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy,” said Harry. “Then it
could catch the Snitch for you.”
know your mother, Malfoy?” said Harry - both he and Hermione had grabbed
the back of Ron’s robes to stop him from launching himself at Malfoy -
expression she’s got, like she’s got dung under her nose? Has she always looked
like that, or was it just because you were with her?”
Professor Trelawney […] spent half the lesson
telling everyone that the position of Mars with relation to Saturn at that
moment meant that people born in July were in great danger of sudden, violent
that’s good,“ said Harry loudly, his temper getting the better of him,
"just as long as it’s not drawn-out. I don’t want to suffer.”
[After the champions see the maze]
“I’ll wait for you. Harry, shall I?” [said Bagman]
“No, it’s okay, Mr. Bagman,” said Harry, suppressing a smile, “I think I can find the castle on my own, thanks.”
Malfoy glanced around - Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers - then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, “You’re dead, Potter.” Harry raised his eyebrows.
“Funny” he said, “you’d think I’d have stopped walking around…”
“Listening to the news? Again?”
“Well, it changes everyday, you see” said Harry.
“Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback
of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head.”
Narcissa Malfoy smiled
unpleasantly. “I see that being Dumbledore’s favorite has given you a
false sense of security, Harry Potter. But Dumbledore won’t always be
there to protect you.”
Harry looked mockingly all around the shop. “Wow… look at that… he’s
not here now! So why not have a go? They might be able to find you a
double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband!”
“Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow…"
"I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.”
"Some would say it’s your duty to be used by the Ministry!”
“Yeah, and others might say it’s your duty to check that people really are Death Eaters before you chuck them in prison.“
"Promise me you’ll look after
yourself… Stay out of trouble…”
“I always do, Mrs.
Weasley,” said Harry. “I like a quiet life, you know me.”
you’re supposed to be dying of spattergroit at the Burrow! If anyone shouldn’t
go, it’s Harry, he’s got a 10,000 Galleon price on his head– “
I’ll stay here,” said Harry. “Let me know if you ever defeat Voldemort,