Sassy Harry

There are a few classic sassy Harry moments:

“There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.”


You may wear that scar like a crown, Potter, but it is not up to a seventeen-year-old boy to tell me how to do my job! It’s time you learned some respect!“

"It’s time you earned it.” said Harry.

But some of his sass is highly underrated:


“I know what day it is,” Dudley repeated, coming right up to him.

“Well done,” said Harry. “So you’ve finally learned the days of the week.”


“Only you said this morning you would have done it last night so know one could see..I’m not stupid you know!”

“You’re doing a really good impression of it!” Harry snapped.


“Congratulations, Harry!” she said, beaming at him. “I wonder if you could give me a quick word? How you felt facing that dragon? How you feel now, about the fairness of the scoring?”

“Yeah, you can have a word,” said Harry savagely. “Good-bye.”


“Not as stupid as you look, are you, Dud? But I s'pose, if you were, you wouldn’t be able to walk and talk at the same time.”


“An interview?” repeated Umbridge, her voice thinner and higher than ever. “What do you mean?”

“I mean a reporter asked me questions and I answered them,” said Harry.


“This is night, Diddykins. That’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”


Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that’s been taught to walk on its hind legs? ‘Cause that’s not cheek, Dud, that’s true…”


“Wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life?” said Harry sarcastically.


“Warrington’s aim’s so pathetic I’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me.”


“Well, I’m terrified now,” said Harry sarcastically. “I s'pose Lord Voldemort’s just a warm-up act compared to you three.” [..]

“You think you’re such a big man, Potter,” said Malfoy, advancing now, Crabbe and Goyle flanking him. “You wait. I’ll have you. You can’t land my father in prison.”

“I thought I just had,” said Harry.


“And they’d love to have me,” said Harry sarcastically. “We’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in.”


“Are you out of your mind?” demanded Harry. “A plot to get this house? Are you actually as stupid as you look?”

Now with Part 2!


make me choose

↳ bxllxtrix asked: Ron or Harry?

anonymous asked:

Harry is just the ultimate troll! He's brilliant at it and I love him so much!

I know, this is the best thing he has ever done, my belly is still aching from all the laughing!

But LISTEN, sassy Harry is out there and I level up every time he shows his face.

Remember when he had to go out to get papped and he was so pissed, he didn’t even put on shoes just to show them: “Fuck this, I am not going to bring my A-game”

And there is so much more…

Keep reading

Can we just take a moment and appreciate sassy Harry

I mean come on

Originally posted by siriuslyremusthough


Originally posted by theoneobsessedwithharrypotter

like you little sass master

Originally posted by marpalarp

lets no forget this gem

Originally posted by deadpadfoot

Originally posted by marauderss-mwpp

Originally posted by fullwithjoy

Originally posted by siriuslyremusthough

Sassy Harry, Part 2

Part 1 here.


“They stuff people’s heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall,” he told Harry. “Want to come upstairs and practice?”

"No, thanks,” said Harry. “The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick.”


[In his first lesson with Snape]

“I don’t know,” said Harry quietly. “I think Hermione does, though, why don’t you try her?”


“— and you mustn’t go wandering around the school at night, think of the points you’ll lose Gryffindor if you’re caught, and you’re bound to be. It’s really very selfish of you." 

"And it’s really none of your business,” said Harry.


Lockhart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder. “Just do what I did, Harry!" 

"What, drop my wand?”


“You’re alive,” she [Myrtle] said blankly to Harry.

“There’s no need to sound so disappointed,” he said grimly, wiping flecks of blood and slime off his glasses.


“Got plenty of special features, hasn’t it?” said Malfoy, eyes glittering maliciously. “Shame it doesn’t come with a parachute — in case you get too near a Dementor.”

Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.

“Pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy,” said Harry. “Then it could catch the Snitch for you.”


“You know your mother, Malfoy?” said Harry - both he and Hermione had grabbed the back of Ron’s robes to stop him from launching himself at Malfoy -

“that expression she’s got, like she’s got dung under her nose? Has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?”


Professor Trelawney […] spent half the lesson telling everyone that the position of Mars with relation to Saturn at that moment meant that people born in July were in great danger of sudden, violent deaths.

Well, that’s good,“ said Harry loudly, his temper getting the better of him, "just as long as it’s not drawn-out. I don’t want to suffer.”


[After the champions see the maze]

“I’ll wait for you. Harry, shall I?” [said Bagman]

“No, it’s okay, Mr. Bagman,” said Harry, suppressing a smile, “I think I can find the castle on my own, thanks.”


Malfoy glanced around - Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers - then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, “You’re dead, Potter.” Harry raised his eyebrows.

“Funny” he said, “you’d think I’d have stopped walking around…”


“Listening to the news? Again?”

“Well, it changes everyday, you see” said Harry.


“Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head.”


Narcissa Malfoy smiled unpleasantly. “I see that being Dumbledore’s favorite has given you a false sense of security, Harry Potter. But Dumbledore won’t always be there to protect you.”

Harry looked mockingly all around the shop. “Wow… look at that… he’s not here now! So why not have a go? They might be able to find you a double cell in Azkaban with your loser of a husband!”


“Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow…" 

"I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.”


"Some would say it’s your duty to be used by the Ministry!”

“Yeah, and others might say it’s your duty to check that people really are Death Eaters before you chuck them in prison.“


"Promise me you’ll look after yourself… Stay out of trouble…”

“I always do, Mrs. Weasley,” said Harry. “I like a quiet life, you know me.”


“And you’re supposed to be dying of spattergroit at the Burrow! If anyone shouldn’t go, it’s Harry, he’s got a 10,000 Galleon price on his head– “

“Fine, I’ll stay here,” said Harry. “Let me know if you ever defeat Voldemort, won’t you?”