10 Tips for Married Brothers
1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3. Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives . It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salaah, even when he was fasting.
6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!
7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
8. Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (RA) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9. Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (saw) would race with his wife Aisha (radiallahu anha) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wasallam): ‘The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.’ Try to be the best!
Make dua to Allah ta’ala to make your marriage successful. And Allah Ta’ala knows best!!