SWISS-ARMY

  • Pritchard: Because I'm just a scared, ugly, useless person.
  • Jensen: But maybe everyone's a little bit ugly. Maybe we're all just dying sacks of shit, and maybe all it'll take is one person to just be okay with that, and then the whole world will be dancing and singing and farting, and everyone will feel a little bit less alone.
  • Pritchard: Jensen, you have no idea how nice that sounds.
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Why carry a Swiss army knife when you could be carrying a ‘Swiss army’ crustacean

This awesomely adorable (and useful!) Crab Multi Tool has a wooden body and features 6 different stainless steel appendages as well as flip-out legs so it can stand up on its own when you aren’t using it. It’s currently available via Kikkerland and Firebox.

[via Laughing Squid]

Declare your love for cool tools and be a cut above the rest!  Girls on-the-go with modern, multifaceted style need to be prepared for anything that comes their way.  Enter life’s must-have accessory; the Swiss Army knife.  For centuries, these legendary tools have battled rogue threads on our cocktail dresses, smoothed chips in perfectly manicured nails and so much more.  Our pocketknife pal stays put in our purse and is as essential as lipgloss!  Aside from the obvious “fix-it” functions, we’re big fans of using this handheld toolbox to DIY. Read on to learn how you can create a coveted “kiltie” embellishment for heels in need of an overhaul.  

To create, trace and cut a template (almost like a stretched trapezoid) on paper.  P.S.- The size will depend on your shoe size.  Be sure to measure the template to the shoe before cutting and also leave a few extra inches toward the upper portion to tuck into the shoe.  Use your Swiss Army knife (on a cutting board with a flat surface) and cut two pieces of fabric.  Any type of suede or leather-like material works.  Use mini snips to cut two-inch slits. Continue to use snips to create an inverted “V” fringe.  Pierce two tiny slits with your knife half-way down.  Feed cord through the holes, leaving space for your ankle to fit in. Lastly, add a bead detail to the ends and tie a cute bow.   Get creative with your colors of materials, cords, and shoes-  mix and match your heart away…

Your  Swiss Army pocket knife pal is super sharp… your DIY style should be too!

Swiss Army Man 2016

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Alone on a tiny deserted island, Hank has given up all hope of ever making it home again. But one day everything changes when a dead body washes ashore, and he soon realizes it may be his last opportunity to escape certain death. Armed with his new “friend” and an unusual bag of tricks, the duo go on an epic adventure to bring Hank back to the woman of his dreams.

Your fave is problematic: The Swiss military

◦ They invaded Lichtenstein. Multiple times.
◦ They once accidentaly burned down a forest.
◦ In Liechtenstein
◦ Thank god that Liechtenstein has no army and is really smol
◦ Otherwise we’d be FUCKED
◦ (how do they even put up with this)
◦ They constantly loose tanks
◦ Their boss once created a mass panic by telling everyone that Switzerland is in danger and we should hoard water bottles
◦ Their Air Force has office hours
◦ That’s why the French military had to escort an abducted plane over Switzerland
◦ Because our military was sleeping
◦ Only attack between 8 am and 6pm please
◦ Or don’t
◦ Might have a higher chance to win then?
◦ And because we are so thankful for it
◦ We stole their fucking water
◦ For cows
◦ Motherfucking cows
◦ And the cows didn’t like the water?
◦ Because it’s not Swiss
◦ Fucking francophobic cows
◦ Accidently invadet Germany?
◦ Ok, it was only one guy
◦ But he had a gun and forgot about it and wanted to go shopping in German (like every other Swiss person) and then got stopped because there was a gun of the Swiss military in the back of his car
◦ Germany was NOT amused
◦ Kids, don’t invade German
◦ Especially if you are alone
◦ And that’s the moral of the story
◦ Thank you

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Yearly Backpacks

You know how swiss army knives are super dope bc they’re the perfect tool for all occasions? Thats exactly what Virigina’s is. It’s the perfect resto for anything. Proposal? Yea. Chill drink in a heatwave? Ya. CUTTLEFISH??? YE. It’s perfect in a super lit cool way, like when swiss army was considered a fire brand. I remember when my mom would take me to shop at the store in Soho and I’d get all this rad gear. I looked really safari ready tho with waterproof blazers and ripstop backpacks; I even had a watch with a flashlight on it. You’d never think i was shopping for 6th grade, but I didn’t mind dripping in over a G of v technical gear. They had this dope lifetime guarantee on shit too, so every year I’d break a zipper on my bag to get the newest version of that backpack. That’s some very Life Hack Style Living℠. TWEET IT.  

Virginia’s

Tip: very cozy vibes here. If you’re a baller get the moon shaped table in the second room by the window. Capone status

Tip: drinks are 10 alarm fire refreshing especially the sunny girl

Tip: they have fire specials here.

Tip: gnocchi is dope.

Pricing: gnocchi ($18), seared cuttle fish ($14), sunny girl ($9)

When to come here: date, chill east village vibe with culinary realness, dinner with parents if they’re cool, intimate dinners.

Where: 647 e 11 street New York

Times:
Monday-Thursday 6pm-11pm
Friday/Saturday 6pm-midnight
Sunday Closed

Phn: (212) 658-0182