I have been seeing a lot of posts run by my dash lately that are various shades of “don’t let the Fandom ruin what you LOVE”. And I have to say I cringe every time I see such posts, especially when the post then goes on to suggest that you isolate yourself from parts of the Fandom.
See these posts often don’t delineate between content that should be avoided because it’s homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, racist, ableist or any of the other ism that crops up within a work fiction and the fandom surrounding it. All these posts do is assert that you shouldn’t let other parts of the Fandom ruin your darlings.
The thing is, we absolutely should.
Games, novels, movies, television shows, hell media in general (and yes this includes memes) do not exist in a vacuum. And we sure as hell should be critical of how they portray all those isms I just listed above and their corresponding intersectionality.
We have to expose ourselves to different viewpoints on our darlings, even if it make us uncomfortable. We have to let what we love about a game or character be viewed critically and sometimes shattered so we know our biases, our blind spots, and our own internalized racism. We need to acknowledge those parts of ourselves and work on them. We have to acknowledge the flaws, the bad writing, the cultural appropriation and the isms in the work. We have to acknowledge the intersectionality of many of these issues and how both the work and Fandom responds to it.
Do we ever need to expose ourselves to triggering content or fanworks/art that are blatant examples of all the institutionalized isms our history has indoctrinated us with?
We do however have to stand up for all that is homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, racist, ableist, culturally appropriative, etc. with a work and demand better from the writers, networks, and producers. Sometimes we have to demand better from our fellow fans.
If we don’t not a god damn thing is going to change. And I for one have no intention of accepting that reality.
This was shared with me and thought I’d share it here……..
“Friends Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell exchanged a few laughs” Vogue
For once, the writer is correct…..they are nothing more then friends. I know that is hard concept for you cockwombles across the aisle to grasp, but it really is the T.R.U.T.H. Another thing you have no concept of.
Guessing that across the aisle…you’ve had your
popped!!! Oh well, it’s not like you haven’t been told…but nope, you just stick your head in the sand and ignore, ignore, ignore.
It is rare in today’s time for a writer of just about most publications to simply tell the truth. But it is every man or woman for themselves and how much they can make off what is being said. They are afraid to be left out of the money pot that others are getting off all those clicks from those lying clickbait stories being rolled out all day long all over the internet.
Basically…..the writer throws a string of words together, add a uniquely designed headline to reel in readers, use one of these catch words, “rumored,” “appears to be,” “seemingly,” and so on………and then,
A lying, rubbish tabloid story is born…….as well as a profit made from it. The dicier, juicer the headline/story, the more
money is made from that crap published.
DO.NOT.CLICK. They post, they monitor clicks and if they spike, they will post again. It’s how they set their advertising rates and how they make money.
"You see, anon, the world is not all ice cream and unicorns and rainbows. People have their own agendas and will lie, cheat and manipulate to get what they want. If you walk through life with rose-colored glasses, assuming everyone is nice and honest and being 100% truthful, then you are in for a rude awakening" Somebody tell this to Tom. He seems to believe this. Its one of his qualities we like him for. But sometimes it can be dangerous.
Yeah it worries me that he seems to be so surprised by the negative reaction, especially at his age. You can choose to be positive but you should not choose to stick your head in the sand.
aberrantcadenza Me: The moons are purple and green You: No they aren’t Honestly I’d argue that sticking your head in the sand and repeating your same argument despite the odds is ignorance, but you do you I suppose.
eridacnis i mean id rather say one of em is a shade of pink but
Look. Amnesia!Blaine is cool because he got to start off with no memory of his past self. So when you take an “average” dude, morally, and compare him to the absolute trash Blaine was…yeah, it’s easy to “be the better man,” of course. I need Peyton to wake up and realize redemption isn’t forgetting everything bad you ever did and sticking your head in the sand to avoid holding yourself accountable(which is what Blaine wanted until Ravi stepped in). True redemption is knowing what you did, feeling remorse, and then actively trying to right those wrongs. A much as I like this new Blaine, and can see why Peyton would, to me Blaine can’t really be forgiven until he gets his memory back(which I totally believe will happen if it hasn’t already). Blaine needs to remember how and why he did the terrible things he did and then move forward as this “better man.” I just don’t see how Peyton can be so swept up in him when he can’t change from who he “used to be” until he actually knows who he was. Like, Ravi is being an asshat but he’s not wrong about how terrible Blaine was and everyone giving him a pass. He literally killed Major. He fed off of and sold the brains of the homeless youth of Seattle. He almost got Liv’s brother killed. He infected Natalie and forced her into prostitution. These are things he should be atoning for, not cock blocking Ravi and Peyton. His past sins didn’t get erased with his memories Peyton, c'mon now girl. I know he’s fine but Liv is right you need some damn perspective.
Scandal 502: boozey metaphors for Olake and fuckboys
The scene where Jake returns from the store and they talk about his purchase of beer instead of the wine Olivia requested was… totally irrelevant. It was a random conversation that added nothing to the show, whose episodes are very fast-paced and need to cover a lot of ground. So the decision to shoot and include this exchange, in which Olivia sips his spoils and gags at the taste, made me curious. Why take the time during this busy episode to include a completely pointless conversation about groceries?
Jake: They did not have wine. Not what your upbringing would have called wine, anyway. Where I’m from, that stuff cost five bucks; that’s really fancy wine. Anyway, I compromised: beer. Olivia: That is not a compromise. Jake: I was hoping you wouldn’t notice. [Olivia takes a sip and makes a disgusted face]
I can only conclude that this scene is meant to mean something more. Which comes at no surprise, seeing how Scandal is filled to the brim with deep and nuanced dialogue disguised as ‘normal’ conversations.
The fact that Jake prefers beer while Olivia fancies wine has been made clear through their interactions for multiple seasons. What’s interesting here is that the writers used it as a metaphor for Olake and Jake’s approach to their ‘relationship’.
Let’s talk a little further about this WSC thing, because I feel there might be some misconceptions going around.
Please, correct me if I’m wrong, but the Walker Stalker guys are in charge of coming up with the panels and naming them, etc. AMC has nothing to do with it.
AMC actually has nothing to do with the convention in general because it was started and run by these two guys Eric & James. They are just fans who started a convention. They have stated this themselves.
So, basically, my interpretation is this: Eric & James came up with this “The Day the Music Died” panel real quick after Coda aired. There was only one weekend in between the episode & the convention. They asked Emily/her people and they agreed to do it. I don’t know when, how, or why but AMC got wind of it and perhaps didn’t mind at first. But then the petition showed up on GMA and the Walker Stalker guys promoted it on their Twitter. So now it’s clear they’re going to talk about it at the panel. AMC gets involved (at the last minute apparently) and shuts it down. Perhaps they intended on canceling it as soon as they found out but thought it better to appear to be a last minute scheduling issue. Either way, there’s only one reason for them to be involved. They didn’t want Emily discussing stuff. Period.
So…why? Some people think “damage control” because of the petition…but wouldn’t damage control actually be allowing Emily to speak and having her say things like “Im okay with Beth’s death and while I appreciate the support, this is just what the story dictated” etc? They sure moved fast with their damage control of the fake Gimple tweet! Gimple tweeted himself to say the last time he posted something was a week or more before-in other words, he didn’t post & delete the fake ones. Not saying anything at all, ignoring it & sticking your head in the sand is NOT damage control. It’s actually making it worse by ignoring people. Hoping it goes away. It also is letting people believe what they want about the issue at hand and not giving any clarification.
The other option is: they didn’t want Emily to be bombarded with questions that perhaps she couldn’t answer. This panel had the potential of being very revealing, many of us on the Beth lives train thought it was possibly going to crush our dreams. And then it just didn’t happen. Twice. I personally feel it’s because they are hiding something.
The biggest problem in the Supernatural fandom is people pretending like bullying and fan shaming don’t happen. Having to describe the ways I’ve been bullied tonight in a discussion made me feel rejected and attacked all over again.
Yet so many people defend the ones doing it by calling the awful behavior freedom of speech and expressing opinions. The only way it’s going to stop is holding the people accountable for their actions, not making excuses for them or turning the blame on the fans who are getting bullied.
True fan ideology has to stop. It’s for no one to dictate what a true fan of anything is and using that term as a weapon to justify attacking people for their likes and dislikes is reprehensible. Do you know how to be a true fan? Like the thing. That’s it.
I’m tired of having to press the block button on social media when I refuse to be a bullying victim. I should not have to worry about asking my fandom to participate in causes like Arthrogryposis Awareness Day because of responses like “bros before halos” just because my profile lists me as a Destiel shipper. That happened, by the way. I should not receive anons telling me I deserve to die when I disagree with Jared Padalecki about addiction. That happened too.
There are ways to disagree and discuss different things without bullying.
If you’re trolling social media looking for people to start arguments with, you’re part of the problem. If you’re name-calling or sending rude messages to people working for your fandom, you’re part of the problem. If you’re watching people you know being horrible to others but not doing anything about it, you’re part of the problem.
I know there are a lot of fans like me out there who have been bullied for this or that. I’m talking about within any ship or no ship at all. Nobody should ever be made to feel worthless and rejected for the way they interpret or enjoy a fandom.
Holding bullies accountable is the only way to stop it. Stop shaming the people who receive the bullying actions. Stop sticking your heads in the sand and making excuses for it.
"Poorly developed is the same as limit development And personally I feel that it's just an excuse. Their relationship, even as friends felt incomplete. " Just another anti-korrasami argument that I found and why I was pretty frustrated. What is your response to this?
Constraints on the depiction of overt homoeroticism is not the same as the concept of “poor development,” and at this point to say that the development wasn’t there is sticking your head in the sand. I’m sorry their relationship isn’t coded in a way that you can personally relate to. Now you know how queer individuals feel 99.9% of the time.
This will ruffle some feathers, might even cost me a few followers but it has to be said in response to all the bullshit I’m seeing online. People are actually asking everyone to pray for Paris? Doing nothing and trying to speak to your imaginary friend isn’t going to solve anything.
Here’s a list of things you could do either than praying:
Donate money to the red cross
Attend rallies to end violence
Talk about the root problems rather than say nothing
Write letters to your local statesmen and demand change
Write an editorial online, showing your disapproval of violence.
Everything listed above all more productive than prayer and actually contribute to solving or at least working the situation. Prayer is the equivalent of sticking your head in the sand and hoping the problem goes away on its own. It won’t go away on its own which is why prayer is the dumbest thing you could suggest.
Real problems need real solutions. Prayer isn’t the answer. As the picture states, religion is actually part of the problem. The gunmen were shouting Allah Akbar when firing at innocent civilians. Saying God Is Great as you murder people is a religious problem and it cannot be solved with prayer.
The popular statement once spoken by Madalyn Murray O’Hair: Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer. That statement is just as true today as the first day it was mentioned by O’Hair.
So do not pray for Paris, get of your ass and do something.
sorry if youve already answered this but as someone who pretty much has had nothing done to her, is it fine to have horribly disgusting kinks and fantasies? i hear my friend practically kinkshame ppl all the time bcuz of her sexual abuse and its hard to listen to her do it when my likes are full of all the shit she hates OTL wat should i do?
YES!!!! Incontrovertibly YES!!!
I’ll be a bit less articulate on this because I’ve been writing for a long time today but some quick stuff I’d put together in a more cohesive discourse:
Some people who have been abused don’t remember they have been abused (for example because they were really young or they are blocking it out), so if we start putting barriers to who is allowed to have fantasies and who is not not we are potentially going against even the people who fit our criteria
People react to stuff in non-linear ways: if I was sexually abused, I could find the most effective way to cope with my sexual abuse is by fantasizing about physical or emotional abuse.
Even if people have not been victim of abuse themselves, they might have witnessed connected things that have left a deep impression in them and sexual fantasies might help them cope with these feelings (see also previous point).
An extension of the previous point is that in the current society it’s impossible for a woman to grow up shielded from the idea that she is a target for abuse. Sexual fantasies might help her cope with this anxiety even if she has never been an actual victim.
That said, here are some points I consider even more important:
It’s not anyone’s business to police me and what goes on in my brain and sexual organs
Research has shown that while the percentage of people with certain fantasies is a higher in survivors, all kinds of people have them
In order for me, a survivor, to be able to safely talk about my fantasies without revealing myself I need to be in a environment where not everyone who talks about these fantasies is a survivor
The idea that only survivors will have these fantasies is essentially like saying that these fantasies are abnormal and an byproduct of abuse, which makes it harder for survivors to accept and embrace them and love themselves despite them
Different people will have a different idea of the level of abuse you need to be subjected to before being allowed to have a certain sexual fantasy, so any kind of system based on “a certain type/amount of abuse happening” will never be safe for survivors themselves
You can’t stop people from fantasizing about stuff, and they can’t stop themselves. Telling some people they are not allowed to like X or Y doesn’t mean they will be able to stop liking X or Y (there’s research on this too! Some people just can’t stop having certain fantasies and not even science has found an effective way for these to stop, not even castration works reliably). So effectively all you have done is isolating these people, making them feel broken, making them feel guilty, making them hate themselves, making them try to stop what they can’t stop. Other than this sounding incredibly similar to abuse itself, this doesn’t allow people to understand what they fantasize about, to learn how to express it safely, to listen and empathize with victims, which is actually what has been proven to prevent people from transforming abusive fantasies in reality.
In short, sticking your head in the sand and screaming ONLY SURVIVORS OF X & Y HAVE SEXUAL FANTASIES ABOUT X & Y won’t make it suddenly true. Instead of screaming in the sand, if you are worried about possible consequences make sure that you understand why other people have fantasies about X & Y, how these people having fantasies about X & Y can potentially be dangerous and how you can prevent these dangerous things from happening. But this won’t happen as long as you make people who are not survivors scared of talking about liking X & Y.
Most important, if anyone were to tell me that I am not allowed to fantasize about anything, it wouldn’t be a 16yo on tumblr.com. When a psychology journal with peer reviewed articles tells me to stop, I’ll consider it.
Honestly my advice to you would be to find better friends. You don’t deserve that kind of tension. There are people out there that will love you for who you are, without you having to hide.
“Stop running from this. I know I’m not the only one who feels it.”
“Look, ah,” Bitty says, thinking fast. The woods around him are dark and his cell phone’s light hinders more than it helps. “How’s about, you two go back up to the top of the road, see if there’s any cell reception there. Call 911, and when they show up, guide them back down to me. I’ll stay here with the body.”
The other two aren’t even listening to him, and this is bad, he needs to get them out of here, because–
“It’s coming back at any moment,” Parson says. “What’re you gonna do, Jack, stick your head in the sand again?” Jack glares at him, and after a tense moment, he waves his arm and says, “Fine, what the fuck, go run away. Flag down a passing car. Pretend you don’t feel it. Pretend your help wouldn’t really matter. Be one of the innocent and let the rest of us hold back the dark.”
Bitty’s heart freezes in his chest. That wasn’t an accidental phrase. That was part of the secret oath he swore when he was sixteen, when he took up his first weapon: I will hold back the dark and protect the innocent all the days of my life.
“Fuck you,” Jack says tightly. “Fuck you.”
Then he turns away from Kent, walks back to Bitty and the body, shaking his hand like he’s flicking away drops of water. Between one second and next black and silver ripples across it, an armored glove glowing with power.
“Bittle,” Parson calls. Bitty transfers his gaping stare. He can see the faint shine of a sword coalescing, power running into the red stone that shines in its pommel. “Can you put a ward around the body and call for your local coven? I’m gonna run offense.”
Bitty licks his lips, thinking hysterically, Well, I wondered how fast a senior knight could get here to back me up, and somehow says, “Y-yes, sir.”
Then he looks back at Jack, who is already letting magic spill out of his hands to form the first circle of the ward, and summons his cudgel into his hand. Uncertainly, he begins chanting the spell for the cardinal points. Jack doesn’t even flicker a glance towards him, doesn’t acknowledge what he’s doing, but he lets Bitty’s spell shape his own, building the defensive circle together around both of them and the corpse.
“I–” Bitty says, stealing glances at Jack as he pulls out his summoning mirror. I have spent the last two years trying to keep you from learning about magic. “I didn’t know you were one of us.”
Jack’s lips compress grimly. “I’m not anymore,” he says. “But let’s try to get out of this alive, eh?”
I just read the article for the first time today. I didn’t have a lot of time to read 12 pages at work and I didn’t want to put myself in an even worse mood, so most of what I knew today was circulating on Tumblr.
Honestly, most of it isn’t as bad as I thought. I don’t want the fandom to have to read terrible things, but a bigger consideration to me when it comes to what’s good for the band’s image is how outsiders are going to view the article. Most of it is going to be neutral or positive to anyone not in the fandom reading it.