SOMETIMES-THIS-KID

anonymous asked:

I don't really know if this is a question, but lately I've been uncomfortable with the way that trans man and trans woman are titles used for people who are still practically kids sometimes? Like... I don't want to be a man right now, I'm a minor and I'm immature and and want to be a kid, but I've been made really uncomfortable with the way these labels are sometimes just given out ambiguously rather than specifically as adults titles... Sorry if this isn't even a real question, just expression

Jay says:

Hey, I get you. I often call myself a trans guy or a trans boy instead of a trans man, and while I’m kinda moving from trans boy (which i used more when I was 14-ish) and heading more trans guy / trans man route (I’m 16 now), I still understand the feeling.

You can absolutely call yourself a trans boy or guy instead! Many people do. We just tend to use trans men and trans women as an umbrella term for people who identify as the binary genders, considering there’s any number of synonyms for trans man - trans guy, trans boy, ftm, f2m, etc. 

Sometimes I read kid!fics and I think: Hmmm…. It’s all wonderfully well written. It’s very sweet. It’s just, there’s one tiny flaw… you’ve never actually been near a kid recently have you?

Like maybe go and baby sit for someone. ANYONE. Find a stranger on the street if you have to, and ask if you can spend some quality time with their child - like a week maybe.

 I know this probably sounds mean, and I love fan fiction as much as the next person, I really do, I get that it’s escapism but I HAVE MY LIMITS.

I get that you think you’re a kid person, you think kids are cute, and the thing is kids can be cute. Kids can be adorable, but quite often they are actually pretty annoying, and I say that as someone who somehow ended up with three.

There are lots of amazing things about parenting. However, there are a lot of not amazing things about it to and these are rarely mentioned in the fluffy world of kid!fic. To the point where it makes my eye twitch and a vein throb painfully in my temple.

SO, if I’m gonna read a Sterek Kidfic from now on I NEED to see at least one of the following included or I’m going to lose my shit:

1. The kids refusing to play with any of their toys because they’re boring, and then immediately becoming territorial possessive little shits about them as soon as another child comes round and they’re expected to share.

2.Kids refusing to eat.being really really fussy with food. All food. Any food. All the time. Unless it’s pizza. Or maybe chips. Watching the parents slowly lose their minds as they try and plead, bribe and argue with them. Try and rationalize why they are refusing to eat today what they ate perfectly well yesterday. The constant drudgery of having to pick up bits of mashed banana and other random food detritus off the floor or out of their hair. Knowing that for the forseeable future, they’ll have mashed in food/baby puke on every single piece of clothing that they own. (My friend went for an official interview thing and forgot to put breast pads in her bra. Part way through the interview she realized everyone’s staring at her chest, her boobs had leaked EVERYWHERE!)

3. Toilet training/nappy changing/all poop related stuff. Kids will do the most explosive, the most foul smelling, the most evil poops, and if they’re not in the same room as they often won’t come find a parent. No. They’ll sit there, let it dry on, let it fester. And then eventually when they’re discovered, the poor parent will be chiselling that shit off while the kids tries to escape, because they think it’s a goddamn game. If the kid is a boy they’ll probably pee all over the parent while this happens as well. (BECAUSE THAT’s WHAT THEY DO.)

4. Sleepless nights, so many sleepless nights. A tiredness that reaches right into your very soul. (My youngest woke up 8 times a night for three and a half years. I did not have REM sleep regularly for 3 and a half years.)

 
Some parents end up going without for even longer. There’s the night feeds, the toileting, the illnesses, the, “but I’m just not tired’, the ‘that strange thing in my room looks like a monster with the light off.’ The plain old, I just don’t seem to need to sleep as much as you. YAY!

Some people seem to think this sounds adorable. They are either masochists, sadists or clinically insane. What it is, is soul crushing torture.

5. Kids get obsessions, with a particular toy, or a particular character. A parent will say, ‘we’re going through a Thomas the Tank Engine’ phase and what they mean is: it is literally all my child talks about about. All they have watched, all they want to read, and it’s been weeks. Months. YEARS. (I shake when I hear that theme tune now, I honestly think I could watch the Human Centipede before I could watch another episode of Thomas the Tank Engine.) Reflect this in your fic people!

6.Forget Sex. Just forget it. It doesn’t happen in the early stages of parenthood. Probably not until kids are all at school at the very least. If you are writing a parent!Sterek fic and the kids are babies or preschoolers  and you are including sex scenes then please keep in mind the following:

-If they are not interrupted by their child as sex is initiated or whilst they are in the middle of it you have failed.
-If you have not written them as completely exhausted whilst having sex you have failed. (However if one or both of them falls asleep during sex, you’re doing well.)
-The sex should be brief and functional. Parent’s with young children do not have erotic sex, there just isn’t time. If you think you can squeeze in a quickie you just have to go for it, but it’ll be a bit of a chore. Like hurriedly tidying up when you know a visitor’s about to arrive. It’s got to be done. You just have to grit your teeth and get on with it.

Some writers try to get around this by having someone babysit the kids while the parents have a romantic night together. TBH sometimes that does happen irl, and It’s lovely when it does, but let me tell you a secret. If someone took their kids away for a night, those poor bastards wouldn’t be having sex. They’d be going to sleep, And so they goddamn should.

7. The parents in the fic can never use the toilet alone. Kids will follow you in there. Sure they can lock the door, but those kids will stand outside talking until you come out again. Again it’s one of those things that sounds like it might be adorable, but is actually designed to slowly drive you insane.

8. Kids are at their funniest when they don’t realize they’re being funny. When it’s a joke only the adults are in on. So today my middle child told me a joke:
q: “Why are slippers called slippers?”  a: “Because they slip - on! 

They fell about laughing like this was the most hilarious thing ever, and then wanted lots of reassurance that it was actually funny. (Which obviously I gave him, I’m not a complete monster.)

However, when that same kid was five the following conversation took place:

My Kid: Mummy where’s the book with the TITS in it?
Me: O.O 
My Kid: The book with the TITS in it Mummy! The book with the TITS!
Me: *genuinely distressed* Please stop shouting tits!
Six year old sibling: Hmmm…. I don’t remember a book with tits in?
Me: *Frantically thinking about what they could possibly have found/been looking at.* I don’t know, describe the book to me?
My kid: The book with the man tit and the lady tit and they play a lot of jokes on each other.
Me: OMG. You mean THE TWITS.

Anyway, I know none of you asked for kid!fic advice. But I’m dispensing it anyway, because I need some realistic kid!fic in my life, and I’m hoping someone will write it off the back of this.

2

Sometimes I feel anxious/depressed about my artistic growth and I feel like I haven’t improved enough or like I don’t have the ability to compare to other amazing artists in my fandoms on Tumblr…

I decided on a whim to redraw one of my old drawings of (Rebellious Teenage) Princess Cadence and I realized – not only have I improved in the past two or three years – I’ve improved a LOT. I knew that but anxiety is sometimes very cruel to my perspective on my growth. I’m trying to overcome that now.

One thing that has also improved? My love for Princess Cadence. Especially angsty-80′s-teenage-rebel-anti-authority Princess Cadence. What a precious little pink horse with a wonderful speaking/singing voice, awesome powers and a complex and unintentionally depressing & emotionally rich backstory that was revealed in two pages of a book she was not the main character of. Bless.

(also the intent of my 2016 picture of Cadence not having a horn is because I like the idea of her wearing her bangs in such a way that covers it because she doesn’t like it showing – it makes her uncomfortable)

Gender Fluidity

They say that kids can be cruel, but sometimes I think kids can be incredibly accepting of people who are different. One of my students told me about one of her classmates (they’re 10), who was born a boy but lives their life as a girl. I love kids’ candour about these things. She just mentioned it apropos of nothing at all. We had a brief discussion about it. The whole class seemed to be in agreement that if the boy wants to be a girl, then he should be a girl. They weren’t sure which pronoun to use, and so I suggested it was probably best to ask the kid in question how they would like to be referred to.

This triggered another student telling me about a Polish singer who is male and identifies as a man, but who wears a lot of make up. I asked if this was a problem. The first student who had told me about the kid in her class pipes up. “It’s a HUGE problem. The guy can’t sing a note!”

sometimes i wish i had kids just so i could participate in the cool activities museums often organise/put together for kids/families

flickr

Black backed gull and chicks by Leon Berard

Some things to consider when responding to a post that really /rustles your jimmies/

Since sometimes those big name cool kids you follow are actually nervous tater tots like the rest of us around here.

1) Are they actually asking for feedback? In their words? If yes, you can probably proceed, but still be civil about it. Discourse etiquette is another post entirely.

2) Is there a possibility that there was a misunderstanding involved in wording? Maybe they’re not a native english speaker. Maybe they’re allowed to simply not stress about how precisely they write in their personal space. Consider privately asking for clarification on what they meant first.

3)Take a brief look in the responses and see if you are about to say a thing that literally everyone else is saying. If you can scroll for twenty seconds and not find another rustled reply that matches the jist of yours, you can probably proceed.

4) Is it a comment for OP only? Consider messaging them. If it’s too long for an ask, it’s probably really stressful and won’t get you the response you want anyway. Rethink if it’s truly worth sending. On the other hand, if it’s more an open topic to your followers that OP is welcome to join on the offhanded chance they feel the need to, then you can probably proceed with your comment, though it may be better suited to make a separate post entirely at this point.

5) Finally, keep in mind that they’re a person too, on a blogging platform that is inherently built to be a means of private expression. Sometimes we’re just shouting our random thoughts to the void, but people with a lot of followers are expected to have totally thought out every stray post they make, and to be perfect all the time. 

They didn’t force anyone to follow them, therefore they’re just as entitled to make as many nonsensical, half-asleep, rambling posts (that we all regret in the morning) as the rest of us.

8

I can do this. It’s only 86 more days, and then I get my life back. I can do this. I made a mistake. A series of them. Some I don’t even remember. But don’t we all? But if being a big old mess of a teenager has taught me anything, it’s that there’s nothing you can do that can’t be undone. Right? Who am I kidding? Sometimes we do screw up. Irreparably. But messes can be cleaned up. 

Okay but hear me
Frisk never really flirted with Chara when they were a ghost because of their lack of emotions as a ghost. Maybe they tried once or twice, but Chara didn’t get it or replied with a simple, monotone “Thanks.”. It wasn’t very… encouraging…

And then, THEN, they managed to fix things, Chara and Asriel got their own bodies and emotions back and the three begun living a nice, happy life with Toriel. Of course, it didn’t feel complete without Asgore, but they had to accept things as they were. At least he visits sometimes…

One night, when all kids were ready to sleep(in fact, Asriel was already tucked in and snoring), Frisk quietly approaches Chara.
Chara looks at Frisk like “What. It’s time to sleep. What are you doing here. The Frisk bed is over there. Go to your zone.”
Frisk doesn’t leave. They hold up their own hand, licks one finger, touches Chara’s face, and makes a faint “tsssss” sound with their mouth.
Chara is too busy being DISGUSTED at first, but soon they realize what that action meant and they stay there, motionless, staring at Frisk, who has the widest grin possible on their face.

“frisk wHAT THE FUCK”

me- *is looking up names related to wealth and prosperity for a new dirt dragon*

google- “plutus was the god of wealth in ancient greek religion and myth…”

me- nah something better than that

-literally two minutes later-

me- ok nothing good better try the name randomizer

name randomizer after exactly one click- “Plutus”

me- shit aight chill

anonymous asked:

lol, same anon here, it's called a "wooly booger" or, more fittingly, an "assquatch"... it's a redneck cryptid/joke taxidermy that's basically an upside down deer's ass with a fake face; the deer's tail makes the "beard". They're made of scrap taxidermy parts since deer mounts are hugely popular and the back-end of the deer isn't used much. Pretty much everyone knows it's a joke but sometimes they'll tell kids/people who don't know better that it's a real critter like a bigfoot or whatever.

haha alright thanks! here’s the full meme with translations:

“I don’t feel well.”

“My well-being is uncertain.”

“I feel better now.”

34098) Lately I’ve been forgetting everything. Not kidding, sometimes I start to talk and in the middle of the sentence I forget what I was talking about. People think I’m crazy. Are they right?

8

recovery road - episode one - blackout

       I made a mistake, a series of them,  some I don’t even remember. But if being a big old mess of a teenager has taught me anything it’s that there’s nothing you can do that can’t be undone. Right?  Even the things you know you need to fix that you constantly say you’ll get around to. Who am I kidding? Sometimes we do screw up, irreparably. But messes can be cleaned up.

       A wise man once said there’s a wisdom that is woe and there’s a woe that is madness. I don’t know about the wisdom part but the madness is definitely setting in…one day at a time.