Also I am crying more. I don’t like that. I like it less than being incapable of crying. I’m so fucking alone and I’m going to stay that way and it’s not even going to be by choice I’m alone because I’m avoidant and aloof and shy and I have no people skills and no friends in the real world I dream about finding an eternal love that I follow through reincarnations and different fucking universes and I couldn’t tell I was dreaming I felt love– romantic love –for the first actual time in years I was in love and someone loved me I’m going to die alone I’m going to ruin my daughter’s life because I don’t have a stable relationship that she will be able to learn from and emulate the only time she’s ever seen me with someone romantically he was screaming and kicking things around the house and I tried so hard not to cry around her but I know she saw it the only thing she knows about two grownups living each other is it’s okay for Daddy to scream at Mommy and she’ll never know anything else because I’m not a lovable person in fact I’m probably one of the worst people in existence because more than half the time I don’t remember anything that happened thirty minutes ago and I think the people around me are a fiction of my imagination I don’t know the last time I felt love wait that’s a lie now I remember treating the one person who was good for me like garbage then broke up with him over the phone because I was short-sighted and stupid and then I asked him to stop talking to me because my ABUSIVE ex boyfriend would SCREAM AT ME AND CALL ME NAMES whenever he saw his name in my inbox so I THREW AWAY THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME and now he has found real love with a woman who is NOT DAMAGED GOODS unlike MYSELF who will probably never again find love because I’m BITTER and ANXIOUS and CONSTANTLY NEGATIVE LIKE THERE IS NO GOOD THING IN THIS WORLD AND I’M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO HAVE A FEW MOMENTS WHERE I CAN FREAK OUT OR LET MY SYMPTOMS EVEN PRESENT THEMSELVES BECAUSE I WOULD LOSE THE ONLY PERSON WHO IS IMPORTANT TO ME
I saw them boarding up heaven.
100 plus men in their Sunday’s best, sealing up all the windows and door frames.
I begged until my knees were bleeding for someone to let me in.
I screamed in hymns so loud the iron gates were shaking.
Are the walls that high that you can’t hear me?
Am I so far from salvation that I’ve been banished?
If I cannot be holy, can I hear the reasons why?
What offense swayed the jury enough to
shut me out?
Can you pinpoint what sins were the grounds for my damnation?
I spent six months pining by heavens door.
Each knock shedding another layer off my knuckles.
When I gathered my skin, and turned to leave, I felt like a mist of myself.
A vapor-thin version of the man I was when they struck that first nail.
It was then that I realized that sin had never made me feel like this.
In fact, my sins forged me into steel.
I was a giant among men, standing like a fortress.
They rewarded me with euphoria and shut my fears out.
They never asked me to beg for them.
Maybe I am not meant for holy.
I could never board my windows up.
And besides I never liked my Sunday’s best.
♠ [My phone doesn't have the uncoloured one, oops.] - Levi [try-me-yeager]
Ikki hummed, dancing around her room and swiftly removing her pants and shirt, leaving her only in her undergarments. She sang softly, swishing her hips along with this music playing in the background, not even noticing a certain someone having walked in.
Looking for a snack? Try pie, or a pie by-product. Dinner? Pie and/or its by-product. Trying to patch a leaky roof? We have just the thing for you, and we also have its by-products.
Mandy & Jenny: “We are living in an immaterial world – a ghost world, and I am an immaterial girl – a ghost.”
Bitty: “To the family of Chowder the intern, we regret to inform you that your son has, in the line of radio duty, transformed partway into a shark, and that his original body will be missed and never forgotten.
To the family of intern Dex, we thank you for his service to the cause of community radio, and join you in mourning the permanent loss of his chill.”
Hockey Mantra: Pain is just weakness leaving the body. And then being replaced by pain. Lots of pain.
An update on our previous message about pie and pie by-products. You should not eat pie or pie by-products, say several frantic sports nutritionists, waving clipboards in our studio. If you have any pie or pie by-products in your home, you are almost certainly already dead. Sorry about that.
SCARY MOVIE HEADCANONS!!!!!! so squad and i were just watching Stranger Things which. okay, it’s not that scary but im a hardcore wimp and am terrible with horror in general… which obvi gets me thinking about the paladins.
Tbh Lance is the one who screams at every jumpscare. every single one. he hates them. i am the same. have you ever seen The Village? You know when the opening title pops up suddenly??? he screamed. nobody lets him live that down. Also he talks the whole. time. “what are you dOING DON’T GO IN THERE YOU IDIOT!!!”
Keith is that one guy who is just. not fazed. at all. big scary monster? he’s seen worse. jumpscare? unaffected. but sometimes, even when he’s not afraid of what’s going on in the movie? Lance’s scream startles him and he jumps a bit.
Hunk is the one who hides his face in other people’s shoulders. he isn’t as bad with jumpscares as lance, but he doesn’t like them. In fact, he really doesn’t like horror in general. Lance gets scared, but he ultimately likes them, but hunk is just. nopenopenopenope.
Pidge really digs those types of horror films that make you think. Psychological ones. Kinda like the Shining, know what i mean? Jumpscares don’t faze them, but they hide their eyes sometimes during like. really creepy body horror types of stuff.
Shiro also isn’t a big horror fan, but he likes obviously cheesy fake ones, like the old Poltergeist. he generally dislikes the psychological thrillers, but is remarkably calm during slasher ones. I think we can agree though that everyone hates Saw. that fucks u up.
Bonus: Allura is just. deadpan. the whole time. nothing fazes her. nothing.
“If I helped take off that armour, don’t put it back on just because you’re gonna lose me”
Now that this angst is over, can I scream about how much I love this line? As far as Killian knows, this is the last time he’ll see Emma for hopefully many years. And he wants her to be happy, but he’s not telling her to just be happy, even without him. He’s telling her how to be happy, that her losing him is not worthy of her closing herself from the world and not letting love in again.
And don’t get me started on the if I helped take off that armour…