What's so wrong with using a term for LGBT people that makes them uncomfortable? Really? If a bunch of younger lesbians decided to start calling all lesbians/wlw the "dyke community," would older lesbians who hated the word be assimilationist or would they deserve a bit more nuance and a whole lot more respect?
How young are you? Have you never been to a Dyke March? Dyke has been reclaimed since before I was born. I never identified as a dyke personally but I was never offended when a non-straight person called me one.
And hey, while I’m on the subject of queer and dyke and other such words, I think it’s obtuse, willful ignorance to pretend there’s no difference between a lesbian calling me a dyke in a friendly camaraderie way, and someone screaming it at me from the passenger side of their truck. The problem isn’t the words, it’s the intent and the delivery.
How many bullied middle school guys were called “girl” before being stuffed in a locker? How many trans men have been called “girl” to dehumanize and delegitimize them? That word was used to hurt them. But the word “girl” itself is not a slur. A queer person saying queer is never ever ever ever ever gonna have oppressive power behind it and we’re not using it as a slur.
Personally the term “gay” applied to me makes me uncomfortable but I’ve got this fucking giant tuna to fry.